WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - # 8

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Cubby said:
Respectfully snipped. Just for comparison, what purpose did it help to find Caylee when media was all over with pictures of Casey dressed scantily, puking in front of a toilet, urinating beside a car, and who knows how much more stuff.
SM is answering questions regarding the break up of his marriage. His struggles to keep his children safe and by answering these questions he is keeping his childs name and face in the media.

If he were silent, we'd all be griping about no media coverage on this case like there are thousands of others here at WS.

Dad, not mom, is keeping his childs name and face in the media. What are his other choices until his child is found? How would it help his child if media were not covering Sky's disappearance?
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bbm

No purpose whatsoever.
 
pdxmama said:
I would too! You've aged 10 years when only 8 have passed! :waitasec::floorlaugh:
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Nope. I was 22. I got married the first week of January. I turned 23 a week later. In two months it will be January 2012 and I will be 33.

Now you have me all confused about my age and math skills. I know I was 22. I am now 32.
 
~n/t~ said:
I'm here and been here from the start. :seeya:

Speculation on your part. Some are suggesting the photos were staged. There is no evidence that they were. None.

He obviously didn't get his daughter now either. He got supervised visits. There is obviously something wrong with him not getting full unsupervised custody.
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BBM.

That is also speculation.

He hasn't seen his daughter in nearly a year and she says "he's mean". Probably due to behavior such as Julia exhibited on those recorded exchanges. Sending him to Dad isn't probably the best idea for a transition right now.

The police do need to move forward in their investigation and sort everything out. To me that doesn't say anything about SM.
 
sorrell skye said:
Despite her mental state, she has reportedly fought for custody of her children. IMO, she may not be able to recognize that she is incapable of caring for herself or her children. I am not a mental health expert, nor have I evaluated her mental health status.

My point is that her husband has reported that his wife suffers from OCD, bi-polar disorder, and depression. Based on this information, I believe that JB was/is incapable of making rational decisions regarding herself & her children. I believe that JB is mentally ill.

I also care about her missing child.

I also believe that a mentally ill person does not deserve to be called "crazy" or "psycho" or "evil".
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Several of us have expressed the opinion (assuming what we have heard about her mental issues is true) that while Julia might be guilty of harming her child, that she is also a victim of her illness and a system that failed to help her or her family.

This is not a pardon, nor does it excuse what she did (assuming she did anything), but a statement of reality. I would say that Julia slipped through the cracks in our mental healthcare system, but we are not talking about a system with a few cracks. We have chasms.

We could fill those chasms, but that costs money, and as a society we have other priorities. We care about American Idol, we care about blowing **** up on the other side of the world, we care about football and granite countertops and whether or not someone is gay. We care more about saving the endangered Snaperdoodle than whether every child has enough to eat.

We don't care about someone losing their home to foreclosure, or someone who's career just got exported to China. We don't care that there are millions of people in this country who's only form of healthcare is prayer. We don't care that there are a million American kids who went to bed tonight hungry, and who will get dropped off at school tomorrow after sleeping in their car. And if it's "only" a mental health issue? Well we damn sure don't care about that.

Our solution to mental health for most is prayer and prison.

And I think we can do better.
 
~n/t~ said:
. There is obviously something wrong with him not getting full unsupervised custody.
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Respectfully snipped and bbm.


Perhaps that is part of LE's strategy. Perhaps that is to insure if any of M's testimony makes it to trial no one can claim her testimony was tainted by dad.

JMO
 
Chris_Texas said:
I suffer from severe panic attacks. They have a pretty significant impact on how I live, the things I can do. Not just the attacks themselves, which are horrid enough, but the fear that doing something might lead to an attack. My thoughts and fears are insane.

Crazy.

Not psycho mind you, I have no dead hookers in the trunk of my car, so I am pretty sure I am not psycho. Just crazy. Crazy is the word used by non-professionals like me to describe a mental illness severe enough that the victim has a real problem. Crazy. Psycho is the word used by folks like me for crazy people who use their cellars for more creative purposes. Or people who kill their kids. It's probably short for something, but who cares.

If you insist on medical terminology then I am sorry to disappoint you, but words like crazy and psycho are here to stay, they are shorthand, the same way that we type initials here rather than people's names.

MOOetc
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I, too, suffer from severe panic attacks from time to time, and have for many years. Sometimes, it feels as if a tsunami is crashing over me & I fear I won't survive the wave. I have compassion for those who suffer the same.

I also have compassion for those who suffer from mental illness, as it seems that JB does.

I refuse to label those who suffer from mental illness as "crazy", or "psycho" or "evil".

ETA: TY for sharing, Chris.
 
~n/t~ said:
His job is to find his son not bash his soon to be ex wife on national television telling the viewers he wasn't allowed to use the commode. How does that help find Sky? Seriously. Who cares? I'm actually sick of seeing him. I think it's self serving and does nothing to help find Sky. He should do something productive like organize a search or call SAR organization.

Leave Julia to the experts and LE.
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Actually, I think it is helpful for him to explain some of what was going on with her. So I care.... the more I understand about how her illness affected her, the more I might be able to come up with plausible theories about where she might have put Sky, kwim?

If she is afraid of dust, chances are she did not drive down a dirt road to put Sky wherever he is now. If she is so controlling as to deny the use of a bathroom, maybe that is why Sky is missing? Maybe he soiled himself and she flipped? Knowing more about how she reacts, will help LE in the search for Sky, I think anyway.

Salem
 
~n/t~ said:
I didn't say he did but I think he tends to exaggerate. He claims he had to pick up the kids because she would not feed them, etc. Well, we've seen pictures of the kids with food in their plates.

Like I said in earlier posts, they don't look like abused kids to me. They look happy, well fed, no visible bruises. Yes, she probably does suffer from OCD but that doesn't make someone a murderer.

There are always 3 sides to a story. His, hers and the truth.

I think Julia is totally responsible for Sky's disappearance but to go on TV to answer questions about her "illness" serves no purpose imo. The focus should be on finding Sky and not Julia.
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just because the children don't look ill or bruised doesn't mean that they were not suffering from abuse. Caylee Anthony looked like a happy normal loved well fed child but we all now know that there was something more going on than the pictures had shown. For all we know, the pics could have been staged by Julia to show that she did feed her kids and that her kids were not neglected as a way to counter Solomon's accusations against her. Yes, having OCD does not make someone a murderer, but in Julia's case, unless she hid the child somewhere, what other explanation is there for little Sky's disappearance? She is not helping the police to help find her son, she has lied to them, then refused to talk to them, and has now hired a criminal defense lawyer. Where is her concern for her missing child?
 
rosemary said:
just because the children don't look ill or bruised doesn't mean that they were not suffering from abuse. Caylee Anthony looked like a happy normal loved well fed child but we all now know that there was something more going on than the pictures had shown. For all we know, the pics could have been staged by Julia to show that she did feed her kids and that her kids were not neglected as a way to counter Solomon's accusations against her. Yes, having OCD does not make someone a murderer, but in Julia's case, unless she hid the child somewhere, what other explanation is there for little Sky's disappearance? She is not helping the police to help find her son, she has lied to them, then refused to talk to them, and has now hired a criminal defense lawyer. Where is her concern for her missing child?
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I always think about how cute and well-kept Shaniya Davis looked. I will never assume that abuse will be obvious again.
 
~n/t~ said:
I'm here and been here from the start. :seeya:

Speculation on your part. Some are suggesting the photos were staged. There is no evidence that they were. None.

He obviously didn't get his daughter now either. He got supervised visits. There is obviously something wrong with him not getting full unsupervised custody.
Click to expand...

I disagree. I can think of an easy dozen GREAT reasons why the courts would not grant him immediate custody, and none of them have anything to do with their being something wrong with him.

In any case, the guy has a LOT on his plate right now. We don't even know if he asked for full custody.
 
sorrell skye said:
I, too, suffer from severe panic attacks from time to time, and have for many years. Sometimes, it feels as if a tsunami is crashing over me & I fear I won't survive the wave. I have compassion for those who suffer the same.

I also have compassion for those who suffer from mental illness, as it seems that SB does.

I refuse to label those who suffer from mental illness as "crazy", or "psycho" or "evil".
Click to expand...

Do your panic attacks make you irresponsible? Do you use your panic attacks as an excuse for crappy behavior? SB is a sucker. He is the only one who has compassion or love for her. She really screwed that one up.
 
~n/t~ said:
His job is to find his son not bash his soon to be ex wife on national television telling the viewers he wasn't allowed to use the commode. How does that help find Sky? Seriously. Who cares? I'm actually sick of seeing him. I think it's self serving and does nothing to help find Sky. He should do something productive like organize a search or call SAR organization.

Leave Julia to the experts and LE.
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how is he bashing her? maybe he was just telling the truth about what happened to him when he lived with Julia. And fyi, didn't he organize a search to help find his son? he keeps going to the media to beg them to help find his son, he doesn't spend most of it bashing his ex. how can anyone find sky when the police have said that julia knows where he is? they don't seem to believe that someone kidnapped him, so the key lies with her.
 
~n/t~ said:
There are always 3 sides to a story. His, hers and the truth.

I think Julia is totally responsible for Sky's disappearance but to go on TV to answer questions about her "illness" serves no purpose imo. The focus should be on finding Sky and not Julia.
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(snipped for brevity)
I agree with you and usually would not approve of him talking about her on TV, but he does seem to be working very closely with LE and I am guessing he may be doing that at the suggestion of LE. It seems like she may have support from a few people close to her who don't really see the extent of her mental illness. Suppose she did get her son spirited away by some underground group that hides abused children. I don't think it's likely, but just suppose. Or maybe her close supporters know things they're not revealing b/c they don't understand how sick she is. His statements may be a way to clue them in.

Also, I don't really agree that there are always three sides to every story. Sometimes one person is lying and one person is telling the truth.

By the way I'm a fan of yours on the Lisa Irwin thread, and even though I don't see eye-to-eye with you in this case, I like your independent thinking and the way you don't bow down to groupthink. Hugs.

Even though I support SM, I do see a little bit of what bothers you about some of his TV appearances. I think he compromised his principles in being with her in the first place, probably overly impressed with her charms, letting the little head do his thinking for him, so to speak...and look what has happened. If he married someone in his league he would have a normal life right now. Why are looks so important to some people? I don't believe him when he says they had a normal marriage for 5 years.
 
Chris_Texas said:
Several of us have expressed the opinion (assuming what we have heard about her mental issues is true) that while Julia might be guilty of harming her child, that she is also a victim of her illness and a system that failed to help her or her family.

This is not a pardon, nor does it excuse what she did (assuming she did anything), but a statement of reality. I would say that Julia slipped through the cracks in our mental healthcare system, but we are not talking about a system with a few cracks. We have chasms.

We could fill those chasms, but that costs money, and as a society we have other priorities. We care about American Idol, we care about blowing **** up on the other side of the world, we care about football and granite countertops and whether or not someone is gay. We care more about saving the endangered Snaperdoodle than whether every child has enough to eat.

We don't care about someone losing their home to foreclosure, or someone who's career just got exported to China. We don't care that there are millions of people in this country who's only form of healthcare is prayer. We don't care that there are a million American kids who went to bed tonight hungry, and who will get dropped off at school tomorrow after sleeping in their car. And if it's "only" a mental health issue? Well we damn sure don't care about that.

Our solution to mental health for most is prayer and prison.

And I think we can do better.
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Wow. WOW! Just.......wow. Stated terrifically !! Seems you should be out speechifying and helping to change the hearts and minds of humanity. You could be effectively building a better world ( I am NOT jesting) and yet here you are here with us at Websleuths. I am honored.

Thanks for the inspiring and true words. :)
 
rosemary said:
how is he bashing her? maybe he was just telling the truth about what happened to him when he lived with Julia. And fyi, didn't he organize a search to help find his son? he keeps going to the media to beg them to help find his son, he doesn't spend most of it bashing his ex. how can anyone find sky when the police have said that julia knows where he is? they don't seem to believe that someone kidnapped him, so the key lies with her.
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Absolutely. Also, it seems like a lot of the information he is being asked about are things that were in the declaration he made to the court many months before Sky went missing. He was not publicly bashing her then, he was filing a document with the court that has now been made public. If my kid was missing and people were asking me questions you better believe I would answer them and I would answer them honestly, even if it made my ex look bad. If it walks like a duck...
 
Chris_Texas said:
I disagree. I can think of an easy dozen GREAT reasons why the courts would not grant him immediate custody, and none of them have anything to do with their being something wrong with him.

In any case, the guy has a LOT on his plate right now. We don't even know if he asked for full custody.
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EXACTLY.

Regarding the photos:

There is no evidence to it but if you grab his declaration and you flip through the flickr acct you can actually mark off every "complaint" made. I like to infer a lot though.

If the photos arent related to the declaration and they are just randomly there by chance she is a lot crazier than we made her out to be.

The fact that the kids are wearing designer clothing and clean doesnt mean she takes care of them it means she likes to shop. My kids are filthy right now. Bless their hearts...
 
ClassyT said:
I think she used the Mr. Ed photo I talked about the other day. It was not a $5000 a month photo. It was a Big Mac and a "hey thanks" photo.
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The "thanks" button was not enough this line, so funny. :floorlaugh:
 
What I don't understand is why JB chose not to get a sitter and leave her children alone?

She had the choice to leave them with their father, her mother, her brother, hire a baby sitter. Even if she couldn't afford a babysitter she could have offered to trade baby sitting time with another parent with children her childrens age. MOST 4 year olds are in preschool at least 3 days a week. There are umpteen playgroups offered all over the place. We know from residents of the building there are other children and other parents in the building who could have recommended a sitter. She could have even called the county to find out about baby sitting services. If her income allowed for it she could have contacted the county for day care assistance and providers who accept that assistance. She had a large number of friends who provided their testimonial for her in court. She could have asked them, asked someone in their family.

Yet she chose NONE of the above suggested options and chose to repeatedly leave them alone and for extended periods of time. It was like playing Russian Roulette (no pun intended). Statistically the odds against a 2 and 4 yr old NOT getting hurt as often and for as lengthy times as she admitted to leaving them unsupervised.

Now she is not talking and no one can find Sky. :(
 
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