So basically what you're saying is: Beauty pageants are criticized because they focus on looks, and make them more important than intellect or values. But in our society, it's been proven that attractive people are treated better, more likely to get promoted, etc. We shouldn't tell our kids "Looks don't matter" because they definitely do.
I could have said that, and it would be objectively true, but I didn't go there. The reality is that appearance matters for boys and girls and men and women. It's almost impossible to overestimate how important this is -- it impacts every aspect of a person's life from the time they are infants all the way through to old age. It matters. This has been confirmed in experiment after experiment -- and yes, it even applies to infants.
For kids, looks helps determine how popular you will be, how your teachers treat you and the grades you get, and even how your parents respond to you. Looks go a long way towards landing you that first job, and they help determine what that job is going to be. Tiffy the cheerleader gets to play hostess, Brenda from the school paper busses tables. And so it goes.
If you happen to be the victim of a crime, or even accused of a crime, looks matter there as well. If you are the bad guy, male or female, the better you look the more likely you are to get away with it -- and if you are convicted you will generally get a lighter sentence. If you are charismatic enough you might even get a fan club. And if you are a crime victim -- say you are abducted -- you better hope you are a female, and bonus points for being white and pretty. For example, a quick look at first page of the "HOT CASES" section of this forum revealed the following list: Trayvon Martin (M), Rebecca Zahau Nalepa (F), Holly Bobo (F), Lauren Spierer (F), Susan Cox Powell (F), Allison Baden (F), Mickey Shunick (F), Lisa Irwin (F), Kyron Horman (M), and Lauren Spierer (F).
So yeah, it matters. Maybe it's not fair, but that's reality. Nor is that "unfair" list limited to appearance. When it comes to life looks matter, wealth matters, parents matter, education matters... LUCK matters. Luck is the single most important determiner of basically everything in life. Even in the most competetive heads-up sports, where individual skill and dedication are said to matter most, professional athletes will tell you that luck was as important as anything else. For example, in football everyone misses the occassional tackle or misses a pass. Everyone. The difference between the best and worst on the field is a matter of a few percent at best. But if you are lucky enough to make the catch in the end zone that wins the game, you have just become the go-to guy. The quarterback looks your way first, the plays are designed around you, the TV people want to talk to you, and come contract time its "Show me the money!" But if you drop that pass or miss that tackle, something that anyone could have done, you just got bumped to also-ran. And let's take it a step further... it doesn't matter how fantastic you are at catching the ball if the guy throwing it isn't very good. And it doesn't matter how great he is at throwing the ball, if his blockers can't protect him long enough to have that chance. All of these things, all completely outside your control, determined if you were a sports legend and household name, or just another unknown guy on the field.
The same applies to Hollywood, where tens of thousands of fantastic actors look for that one lucky role that not only showcases their talents, but catches fire with the public. They need the right script, the right directors and producers, the right sound guys, the right lighting director and cinematographer, the right production designer, a great editor, and if they have all that they need it to be the right story at the right time. Their job is to act and do their best, the rest is pitch and toss.
But let's go back to talking about kids, and this case in particular.
It's going on 17 YEARS now and this is still one of the most talked about cases in America. This case has it all. It's got mystery, it was never prosecuted and a lot of people wonder why, it features fabulously wealthy parents and privileged kids with the world at their feet, it even happened at Christmas! But most important, the victim was a beautiful little blonde-haired pageant princess...
And she was sexually abused. That last provides the evil flame that keeps this case simmering. It's not just that her parents (or whoever) got away with killing her -- that happens once a week -- they also got away with abusing her.
Which brings me, at long last, back to the beginning. Looks matter in life, and they matter in death. If you doubt it look no further than this case.