Wow! I haven't read the whole thread so I don't know if people on here do think Ross is innocent, but the tone is surely different from another thread I've unsubscribed myself from, and I appreciate that. I appreciate the different POV's and I've never thought about the possibility of what's discussed above, of Leanna asking "did you say too much?", because she thinks he may have been arrested for interfering, or may have said something about having left Cooper in the car previously, or just having said too much, compared to what he has "advised" others. Great points! I don't think I would have come up with those and they are definitely thought provoking about Leanna's possible involvement (still don't think RH is innocent). But this makes me wonder (some more) about her involvement.
LeAnna (Mom) #2
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CA CA - Charles Alex Benfield, 26, San Diego, Apr 14 2024- Latest: ohemgee.kay925
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lndigo
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There's this part of me that feels compelled to play the devil's advocate. Especially when lots of people agree on something. It can be annoying. [emoji15]
I will say that my opinion of what took place has changed a lot from my original belief that it was premeditated and they were both in on it. That does not mean I think RH is "innocent" or that either one of them was a competent parent.
I will say that my opinion of what took place has changed a lot from my original belief that it was premeditated and they were both in on it. That does not mean I think RH is "innocent" or that either one of them was a competent parent.
Lovejac
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I love people like you! It's the ones who try to pretend like they're not playing devils advocate that make me roll my eyes. My sister is just like you and admits it as well. It's wonderful and helpful and helps me cement my beliefs and theories. It's the baiters who muck up a thread and offer nothing to the discussion. That's where 'scroll and roll' comes in handy and if that doesn't work, the ignore function is a lifesaver.
ATasteOfHoney
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If we could put ourselves in LH's shoes for a minute: LH's baby is dead, the husband is in jail and guess what? The "did you say too much" is the last sentence that would be uttering out of my mouth if they were both ** innocent **.
If I were LH in that spot of seeing my hubby for the first time after my child was dead in a hot car----I'd be pressing him for answers.
He could never tell me or LE enough about what happened. Again and again and again I would want to know the details. I would be so crazed that I would have to hear it dozens of times before I could really consume what happened and process it in a rational way.
The LAST thing I would be concerned with is him saying too much. To anyone.
That is, if I were innocent. So yes, there is a lot of suspicion in the saying of "did you say too much?"
AuburnTxTiger
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As a newbie who joined July 2014 because of this case, it doesn't appear to me that the vast majority of posters have issues with anyone playing devil's advocate as long as it is done like you do in a civil manner I enjoy reading other points of view. It makes me think about the facts as we know them at this time. Most of the discussions are great, but when the accusatory, know it all tone and sometimes hateful, disrespectful manner shines thru in posts from those who have different opinions than mine, I just try to skip over it and go to the next post. I just have to remind myself that 99% of posters are polite and mean well even if we disagree. This is just my opinion. Every one has a right to their own opinions about this case. This is such an emotionally charged crime due to the nature of what happened. Please continue to post your views.
Inthedetails
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Bingo. That's what I really appreciate about WS (I'm rather new here myself too). I like when people thoughtfully consider the case and share their thoughts...sometimes ideas are proved wrong, sometimes right, and sometimes they lead to more ideas and insight.
If people simply wrote, "He's a monster! Fry him!" I wouldn't be interested in reading threads at all.
My mind has changed a couple of times since the day of the incident, and I want to keep that open mind as I learn new facts and hear how others interpret them. I *LIKE* an open dialogue where people can test ideas and not get slammed if their ideas aren't popular or 100% correct at first.
It's a work in progress to figure out the cases. It's the puzzle that intrigues me and I like puzzling it out with others who play nicely.
lndigo
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What would you say? Specifically? I am trying to put myself in LH's shoes, and honestly all I can come up with is "How could you? How could you forget him? How could you be so stupid?" (But with curse words) Those don't seem like the most helpful things to say though, and I would probably bite my tongue. I think I would just be stunned.
If she is innocent, and she loves her husband, wouldn't she assume he drove to work, didn't notice the toddler, and left him in the car? And if she is innocent, wouldn't she be terrified about losing her husband on the same day as her baby? The husband she still has a chance to save.
And what about her religion? Isn't their the expectation that the husband is the leader of the family, and she is obligated to stand by him?
lndigo
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It's all meant in a respectful tone. None of us knows what LH and RH were thinking, and we only have limited facts. I think it's interesting to examine the facts we do have from all sides. And I am ok with admitting I don't know exactly what happened. It's all just speculation.
SnoopyDawgDawg
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This. And this again.
ATasteOfHoney
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I agree that I would be saying the same things to RH as you would if we were to put ourselves in LH's shoes. I doubt if being "helpful" (those statements) would really come into play for me at that time.
Plus for me, my maternal protective instincts would still be flying high -- much more so than some sort of marital loyalty or some chauvinistic religious agenda. At the time when LH was visiting her husband in jail, she was still in the grieving process. It was only a short time after she found out her baby was dead when she uttered those words to RH, "Did you say too much?"
IMHO, LH is either mentally unstable from years of coping with a profoundly personality disordered husband OR she was an accomplice.
There really is no middle ground......
Inthedetails
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This is where I currently am in my assessment of LH, though I don't think she's mentally unstable. I think she is "shut down" due to living with her slacker, selfish, passive-aggressive husband. He has continually disappointed her with his immaturity while she pulls the weight in the marriage, and I think the way she has dealt with that is by shutting down her emotions and cleaning up the messes (or running interference to prevent the messes) he makes. I don't think she is mentally unstable as much as she is the "invisible" workhorse in the relationship.
I don't think she was an accomplice, but I do think she has experience with RH being a blabbermouth and with RH lacking maturity to handle any sort of responsibility. She was "standing by her man," imo.
JMO, and I reserve the right to change my mind.
Edited to add: This is my assessment of LH not of anyone else or of what I think the "right" response should be in such a tragedy. I'm not projecting on anyone else who has suffered, but only commenting on LH.
AuburnTxTiger
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As a mother and grandmother of 2 (1 is a 26 months old boy), this bring tears to my eyes. This should have been a day of celebration and joy. My thoughts and prayers go out to CH's family!
AuburnTxTiger
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Thanks for this post. I quoted your post on the Small details .... thread.
ATasteOfHoney
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Good post, inthedetails. It is my armchair psych opinion that RH is a Narcissist and possibly a Psychopath (all Psychopaths are Narcissists but not all Narcissists are Psychopaths). Anywhoooo, living with a Narcissist is tough---you become "invisible" because only the Narcissist matters and he lets you know that! To cope, one must become invisible, and eventually lose their own thoughts, emotions, will, freedom, and personhood. Sometimes the only way to cope is to live in denial and dissassociate.
So that is why I said she is mentally unstable because if I'm correct in my armchair psych dx of RH, then LH has a lot of mentally ill challenges going on. A Narcissist will take down everyone in their path--including many family members. By "taking down", I mean that they all will be negatively effected....sometimes profoundly. I believe that RH was more than a blabbermouth, more than just immature.
I'm hoping LH was not complicent in the death of CH, but I have a sneaking suspicion she was.
moo
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It goes without saying that LE put Leanna into the interview room with her husband because they wanted to observe what these two said to each other and how they responded to one another regarding the horrific death of their child.
Granted, we have only heard snippets of what was said between them, but those snippets of conversation are, IMO, eyebrow-raising and deserve every bit of scrutiny by LE and the public that they're receiving.
Ross: "I can't believe I'm being punished for this!" "I'm going to lose my job!"
Leanna: "Did you say too much?"
Their child had just died a horrid death. A few hours earlier, RH had pulled his deceased baby out of his car. He felt with his own hands and saw with his own eyes that Cooper was in rigor mortis (even if he didn't know the medical term for it). I think that alone would be enough to cause any caring, innocent parent to hate themselves for what they had caused their precious baby to suffer.
If I was LE and had been on the other side of that two-way mirror, I would have expected to see/hear a father beat himself up (and perhaps even to spontaneously cry out to his child's spirit) for causing his child's death, if that father had truly "forgotten" he'd left his child in the car, instead of "huffing" trying to hyperventilate and trying to work up emotion.
Something along the lines of: "Cooper!!! I'm so sorry Li'l Buddy! I love you!" If truly grieving and incapable of uttering words, then I would have expected to hear/see unintelligible moaning or crying.
Genuine emotion doesn't require summoning - it comes naturally. That soon after his child's death, I would have expected an innocent father to be more concerned with the torture his helpless baby had endured and to be devastated that his child was dead, instead of being concerned with himself or his job.
If I was LE and had observed Leanna ask her husband "Did you say too much?" the alarm bells in my head would have been screaming "WTH????" - and apparently those alarm bells were, according to Detective Stoddard's testimony.
I would have expected LH to have demanded answers from her husband. I would have expected LH to have at least asked RH "How could you have forgotten him????" or "How could you have left him in the car ALL DAY????" I might even have expected LH to have tried to beat the living daylights out of her husband and I would have asked a uni to stand outside the door just in case she needed to be pulled off him (after I let her deliver a few well-deserved blows upside his head).
"Did you say too much?" is the last thing I would have expected a loving, protective mother to ask her husband (very shortly after learning that her baby was dead). I would NOT have expected her to be concerned that her husband had said "too much" - in fact, "Did you say too much?" is the exact opposite of what I would have expected her to ask the man who was responsible for her baby's death.
If her baby was at all important to that mother, I would have expected her to have been more concerned with her baby & what he had suffered than with what her husband may or may not have said to LE.
Leanna: "Did you say too much?"
Instead of: "How could you have left him in the car all day???" "Stop whining about your job!!! Our baby is dead!!!"
It's clear to me (based on her statements and actions since Cooper's death) that Leanna's priority is not her baby. In my opinion, her top priority is trying to protect the reputation of a repugnant façade of a husband/father. I couldn't care less if she may or may not have low self esteem, or if RH may or may not have been the first man to show interest in her, or if she may or may not have felt that she couldn't do any better than him.
When she became a mother, her first priority should have been her child. After her child died at the hands of her husband, her first priority should have still been her child.
Granted, we have only heard snippets of what was said between them, but those snippets of conversation are, IMO, eyebrow-raising and deserve every bit of scrutiny by LE and the public that they're receiving.
Ross: "I can't believe I'm being punished for this!" "I'm going to lose my job!"
Leanna: "Did you say too much?"
Their child had just died a horrid death. A few hours earlier, RH had pulled his deceased baby out of his car. He felt with his own hands and saw with his own eyes that Cooper was in rigor mortis (even if he didn't know the medical term for it). I think that alone would be enough to cause any caring, innocent parent to hate themselves for what they had caused their precious baby to suffer.
If I was LE and had been on the other side of that two-way mirror, I would have expected to see/hear a father beat himself up (and perhaps even to spontaneously cry out to his child's spirit) for causing his child's death, if that father had truly "forgotten" he'd left his child in the car, instead of "huffing" trying to hyperventilate and trying to work up emotion.
Something along the lines of: "Cooper!!! I'm so sorry Li'l Buddy! I love you!" If truly grieving and incapable of uttering words, then I would have expected to hear/see unintelligible moaning or crying.
Genuine emotion doesn't require summoning - it comes naturally. That soon after his child's death, I would have expected an innocent father to be more concerned with the torture his helpless baby had endured and to be devastated that his child was dead, instead of being concerned with himself or his job.
If I was LE and had observed Leanna ask her husband "Did you say too much?" the alarm bells in my head would have been screaming "WTH????" - and apparently those alarm bells were, according to Detective Stoddard's testimony.
I would have expected LH to have demanded answers from her husband. I would have expected LH to have at least asked RH "How could you have forgotten him????" or "How could you have left him in the car ALL DAY????" I might even have expected LH to have tried to beat the living daylights out of her husband and I would have asked a uni to stand outside the door just in case she needed to be pulled off him (after I let her deliver a few well-deserved blows upside his head).
"Did you say too much?" is the last thing I would have expected a loving, protective mother to ask her husband (very shortly after learning that her baby was dead). I would NOT have expected her to be concerned that her husband had said "too much" - in fact, "Did you say too much?" is the exact opposite of what I would have expected her to ask the man who was responsible for her baby's death.
If her baby was at all important to that mother, I would have expected her to have been more concerned with her baby & what he had suffered than with what her husband may or may not have said to LE.
Leanna: "Did you say too much?"
Instead of: "How could you have left him in the car all day???" "Stop whining about your job!!! Our baby is dead!!!"
It's clear to me (based on her statements and actions since Cooper's death) that Leanna's priority is not her baby. In my opinion, her top priority is trying to protect the reputation of a repugnant façade of a husband/father. I couldn't care less if she may or may not have low self esteem, or if RH may or may not have been the first man to show interest in her, or if she may or may not have felt that she couldn't do any better than him.
When she became a mother, her first priority should have been her child. After her child died at the hands of her husband, her first priority should have still been her child.
EvilSoup
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Believe me. i WANT to believe LH is just another victim in this, but I simply cannot get past her language and demeanor.
She is iffy to me, if for no other reason, her lack of grief over her dead baby. But, golly, there are many more reasons she hinks me out. And yet, I cannot construct an absolute case against her, it is just my sinking gut.
She is iffy to me, if for no other reason, her lack of grief over her dead baby. But, golly, there are many more reasons she hinks me out. And yet, I cannot construct an absolute case against her, it is just my sinking gut.
Lovejac
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This deserves a standing ovation! Thank you!
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