Found Alive TX - Merissa Lawhead, 14, Keller, 12 January 2011

[Coldpizza]

Originally Posted by daisy7

If you have any private messages on WS, you will see them by looking at the upper right hand side of any page for "Your Notifications." You can also go to User CP to choose to receive your private messages via e-mail.

Does she have enough posts to receive a message? For some reason I thought you had to have 50 posts to get a pm? Am I wrong?

[SurfieTX]

Originally Posted by bluelately

thank you and is that a group or a fB page or both, just so I understand?

It was a "group" page on FB that was open for public viewing, but I had to approve members to post. It has been linked here on pages 2 and 8, I believe.

[WestCoastLady]

Originally Posted by Coldpizza

Does she have enough posts to receive a message? For some reason I thought you had to have 50 posts to get a pm? Am I wrong?

I was able to receive PM's as a newbie here, so I don't think you have to have a lot of posts to get a PM

[daisy7]

Originally Posted by WestCoastLady

I was able to receive PM's as a newbie here, so I don't think you have to have a lot of posts to get a PM

Yes, new posters can receive and send a limited number of PMs.

[revampz]

Bluelately and MDLaw, you are obviously the parents of merissa and after reading the last 7 or so pages I have finally caught up. I have read words like abandonment, abuse, pre adoptive and you meeting her at three years of age, so it is obvious to me that you took this little girl who has come from not a good start in life into your lives.

After reading your posts that she has run away 12 times!! told everyone she has not connected with you and does not want to be with you , and given you obviously alot of heartache and disruption to both of your and your other childrens lives, not to mention the stress and worry knowing that she wants to be with a stanger she met on the internet .....blah blah blah

anyhow

to cut a long story short when I read Bluelately that you loved her and would never give up on her and would provide her with what she needs....well wow I take my hat off to both of you, because truth be known a lot of people may have given up on her, so you are truly wonderful people and I hope that she is found and soon learns that she is extremely lucky to have people like you caring for her.

I hope it doesnt take a big scare for her to learn this lesson.

[revampz]

just also want to add that I am not sure what area this guy is from or detained in but I am remembering what I was like at 14 (in fact merissa and I look a lot alike at 14) and if a guy was interested in me and I thought I was in love I would be heading to where he is.

[Justwonderinin]

Having been had a daughter that has but us through the ringer, I truely feel for Merissa's parents. You are in my prayers! I am amazed everytime I come to WS at the hard work and dedication of it members.

[sarx]

I also want to commend Mom for being honest with us about Merissa not wanting to be home. It has no bearing on our trying to help and bring her home, however it REALLY helps to have a full picture so we know what we are working with. All the information can really make a difference as to where she is, and her behaviors and how to go about locating her. So often key information is left out for "perception" and it really hampers things. Personally it doesn't matter to me whether it's a child's first runaway or the 100th, whether a child is on drugs or not, whether they are sleeping with the town or not. None of it matters in terms of my efforts.
Again, thank you, I know it's not easy.

[Lavanda Dolce]

[Lavanda Dolce]

Please join Merissa's Facebook page. Thank you.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Missin...52615497755?sk

[Lavanda Dolce]

[mommy23]

Thinking of Merissa

[fhc]

Merissa needs to be found.

[SurfieTX]

Unfortunately, there has been no activity on her FB page. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Missin...12452615497755

[Redbird]

Originally Posted by bluelately

I think North Tulsa, OK is the best place (near Pine and Peoria). Thanks so much!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a former Tulsa resident who was somewhat in your shoes. The location Admiral and Peoria brings back so many memories. My daughter ran away at 18 and my husband and I literally drove up and down the streets in that area until we found where she was staying. I found the CID unit of the Tulsa PD to be extremely kind and helpful and they probably helped save her life and brought her home. They worked with me for three months. She was involved with some really scary people and it was a very difficult situation that worked out. I would suggest peppering the Peoria/Admiral area with flyers, all the little grocery stores and also downtown around the homeless shelter where I know transients hang out all the way down to 21st and Carson foraging for food and hiding in abandoned houses. Also the public library area and around the old Safeway Store on (I believe) Denver or Cheyenne. Another area would be the Walmart Supercenter out on Admiral and Memorial. If you can think of any way I can be of help, please don't hesitate to ask. I am sorry I don't live close enough to Tulsa now to hang posters myself. God Bless.

[Redbird]

My experiences with Tulsa runaways is about 15 years old, but things have probably not changed a lot. When they first built the new homeless shelter they had a waiting list for beds for the night. During the day they turned people outside for the day. They would camp out all around the shelter and formed a sort of subculture. I do think that would be a good area to look.

[peeples]

Originally Posted by SurfieTX

Unfortunately, there has been no activity on her FB page. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Missin...12452615497755

Geez and I thought it was being made in conjunction with law enforcement, I don't see LE just dropping the ball on the FB page..

[Lavanda Dolce]

Originally Posted by peeples

Geez and I thought it was being made in conjunction with law enforcement, I don't see LE just dropping the ball on the FB page..

Law enforcement does not set up Facebook pages. Please note the page was set up by LostNMissing and we are in the process of getting it out to the public. I lost some time over the weekend as I was taken to ER with a kidney stone episode (no fun!) and then transferred by ambulance to another hospital where they did an emergency stent in my kidney due to the stone blockage and being too large. (I will go back in two weeks for crushing of the stone by laser and then the stent removed.) So I apologize that all of our FB pages got "held up" from being marketed to other sites. My team did excellent work in covering all of our missing and keeping up with family contacts and PD contacts, however, yes...the FB pages were left for a bit. Please help if you have a FB account by getting Merissa's page out to as many possible places as possible! Thank you all.

[Lavanda Dolce]

Originally Posted by Redbird

I would suggest peppering the Peoria/Admiral area with flyers, all the little grocery stores and also downtown around the homeless shelter where I know transients hang out all the way down to 21st and Carson foraging for food and hiding in abandoned houses. Also the public library area and around the old Safeway Store on (I believe) Denver or Cheyenne. Another area would be the Walmart Supercenter out on Admiral and Memorial. If you can think of any way I can be of help, please don't hesitate to ask. I am sorry I don't live close enough to Tulsa now to hang posters myself. God Bless.

For the most part Walmarts normally do not allow posters to be hung due to Corporate policy. They receive only the NCMEC posters of missing children and at that..not necessarily (and usually not) local children. In order for Walmart to hang a poster they need corporate approval. My suggestion is to hang in very high traffic areas. No doubt places near homeless shelters is an excellent location, along with bus stops, train stations, etc. The best places for high traffic are gas stations. Normally all gas stations will let you hang a poster. I don't ever recall any that said no and they are high traffic areas. Mom and pop shops, deli's , pizza shops, etc. are great. Also...strip malls are very good places.

[Lavanda Dolce]

We are going to be coordinating VOLUNTEERS in the Oklahoma region and if anyone is interested, please let me know. We will ship professional glossy posters to be hung up. I need a TEAM LEADER in the area in which I can call upon to receive the posters and to help with a "poster event." A Poster event is where we will call for volunteers to meet at one location on a Saturday and the Team Leader will review the procedures for poster hangings. Then a number of posters are given to each who attend and the team goes off and hangs in as many possible places. If anyone is interested in volunteering, please let me know. Thank you.

[Nandee63]

Lavanda, so sorry to hear about your visit to the ER. My husband had the same thing recently and he said the pain is like no other...excruciating.

Thanks for everything you and your organization do. Without selfless people like you the fate of missing people, particularly children, would be more dire than it already is. I know that many are saved because of your efforts. Again, THANK YOU!

[hollye]

Prayers for Merissa's safe return!

Lavanda ~ Thank you for all that you and your organization do! I hope and pray that you are feeling better soon!

[Lavanda Dolce]

Originally Posted by Nandee63

Lavanda, so sorry to hear about your visit to the ER. My husband had the same thing recently and he said the pain is like no other...excruciating.

Thanks for everything you and your organization do. Without selfless people like you the fate of missing people, particularly children, would be more dire than it already is. I know that many are saved because of your efforts. Again, THANK YOU!

Oh yes...and it is far worse for men!! The unfortunate part is my stent is only temporary and I have to go back before 3 weeks (after antibiotics) and have the whole procedure done again to get rid of the stone and the stent. Grrrrrrr..I can think of much more fun things to do! LOL
And thank you for your comments. I will say that it takes a village to help find all our missing and I have a wonderful team that enables me to do what I do and without them...and the public...and the PD...and the media...it could never be done solo. Keep the prayers going...we will do all possible to find Merissa. Hugs, Cyn

[Lavanda Dolce]

Originally Posted by hollye

Prayers for Merissa's safe return!

Lavanda ~ Thank you for all that you and your organization do! I hope and pray that you are feeling better soon!

Thank you, that was very kind of you. I appreciate it.

[MsFacetious]

I was in residential with a 14/15 year old girl who's story eerily mirrors Merissa's. I am simply sharing her story.

J was adopted at 3 years old.

She was abused, neglected and abandoned before her adoption.

She had numerous issues but really, she just kept running away. 15 times in 2 years when she entered residential.

Each time she ran she was gone longer and longer. She had run away from "secure" treatment facilities, the psych ward and their own alarmed house with bodyguards. They always found her living on the streets.


Her parents were a wreck. She was an only child, a beautiful child and they were desperate.

While in residential with me, we had a rather unique therapist. He asked her and her parents what each of them wanted.

She said "I don't want to live at home. I want to live on the streets. I just want to be free."

Her parents said, "We want to know our daughter is safe. Not knowing is horrible."


J made it crystal clear by running away 15 times before she was 15... she wasn't going to stay where she was put. So J and her parents came to a very difficult and unorthodox agreement.

J's parents agreed not to call the cops and report her missing. As long as J agreed to call them collect at LEAST twice a week. Every Sunday and every Wednesday or Thursday. If J missed a week, they would report her missing. This way they would know when something actually WAS wrong.

They made this agreement with the clear understanding that J could ALWAYS come home. Whether she was 16 or 36. She was always welcome. She could always call them for money. Anything she needed, they would be there.


There was an article about several teens including J with the same agreement, several years ago. Reader's Digest maybe.

Every time a habitual runaway case comes up I think of J and her very courageous parents. I hope that I am never in that situation. I just don't know if I could be strong enough to make that decision.


Whatever happened to J?

Now she is 26... she went home at 19 having been gone for 4 years and having already finished high school. She then went to college, has gotten married, bought a house and has beautiful little twins.

Quite honestly, she is the most successful person I went to residential with. That same determination that caused her to run away 15 times, was very productive when she chose to channel it correctly.

J's situation is different than most... she didn't "hate" her parents. She just wanted to be on her own. She & her parents still amaze me.

Originally Posted by believe09

What a terrible situation Merissa's parents find themselves in. Consider for a moment that you had a child who ran away multiple times-when do you know they have actually disappeared and when do you know that they are hiding out? What kind of credibility do they have with law enforcement who has walked this path with them before? I mean, does LE make the case a priority or does LE wait for her to turn up?

Children run away for multiple reasons and not all of them have to do with their treatment at home. And her age, oh my her age. I HATED my parents when I was her age.

Please be mindful of what her family is going through-they are considered victims until LE and or MSM reports otherwise.