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  #326  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Chris_Texas View Post
I suffer from severe panic attacks. They have a pretty significant impact on how I live, the things I can do. Not just the attacks themselves, which are horrid enough, but the fear that doing something might lead to an attack. My thoughts and fears are insane.

Crazy.

Not psycho mind you, I have no dead hookers in the trunk of my car, so I am pretty sure I am not psycho. Just crazy. Crazy is the word used by non-professionals like me to describe a mental illness severe enough that the victim has a real problem. Crazy. Psycho is the word used by folks like me for crazy people who use their cellars for more creative purposes. Or people who kill their kids. It's probably short for something, but who cares.

If you insist on medical terminology then I am sorry to disappoint you, but words like crazy and psycho are here to stay, they are shorthand, the same way that we type initials here rather than people's names.

MOOetc
I, too, suffer from severe panic attacks from time to time, and have for many years. Sometimes, it feels as if a tsunami is crashing over me & I fear I won't survive the wave. I have compassion for those who suffer the same.

I also have compassion for those who suffer from mental illness, as it seems that JB does.

I refuse to label those who suffer from mental illness as "crazy", or "psycho" or "evil".

ETA: TY for sharing, Chris.
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Last edited by sorrell skye; 11-15-2011 at 10:54 PM.
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  #327  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:23 PM
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Originally Posted by ~n/t~ View Post
His job is to find his son not bash his soon to be ex wife on national television telling the viewers he wasn't allowed to use the commode. How does that help find Sky? Seriously. Who cares? I'm actually sick of seeing him. I think it's self serving and does nothing to help find Sky. He should do something productive like organize a search or call SAR organization.

Leave Julia to the experts and LE.
Actually, I think it is helpful for him to explain some of what was going on with her. So I care.... the more I understand about how her illness affected her, the more I might be able to come up with plausible theories about where she might have put Sky, kwim?

If she is afraid of dust, chances are she did not drive down a dirt road to put Sky wherever he is now. If she is so controlling as to deny the use of a bathroom, maybe that is why Sky is missing? Maybe he soiled himself and she flipped? Knowing more about how she reacts, will help LE in the search for Sky, I think anyway.

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Last edited by Salem; 11-15-2011 at 08:36 PM.
  #328  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:28 PM
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I didn't say he did but I think he tends to exaggerate. He claims he had to pick up the kids because she would not feed them, etc. Well, we've seen pictures of the kids with food in their plates.

Like I said in earlier posts, they don't look like abused kids to me. They look happy, well fed, no visible bruises. Yes, she probably does suffer from OCD but that doesn't make someone a murderer.

There are always 3 sides to a story. His, hers and the truth.

I think Julia is totally responsible for Sky's disappearance but to go on TV to answer questions about her "illness" serves no purpose imo. The focus should be on finding Sky and not Julia.
just because the children don't look ill or bruised doesn't mean that they were not suffering from abuse. Caylee Anthony looked like a happy normal loved well fed child but we all now know that there was something more going on than the pictures had shown. For all we know, the pics could have been staged by Julia to show that she did feed her kids and that her kids were not neglected as a way to counter Solomon's accusations against her. Yes, having OCD does not make someone a murderer, but in Julia's case, unless she hid the child somewhere, what other explanation is there for little Sky's disappearance? She is not helping the police to help find her son, she has lied to them, then refused to talk to them, and has now hired a criminal defense lawyer. Where is her concern for her missing child?
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  #329  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:30 PM
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just because the children don't look ill or bruised doesn't mean that they were not suffering from abuse. Caylee Anthony looked like a happy normal loved well fed child but we all now know that there was something more going on than the pictures had shown. For all we know, the pics could have been staged by Julia to show that she did feed her kids and that her kids were not neglected as a way to counter Solomon's accusations against her. Yes, having OCD does not make someone a murderer, but in Julia's case, unless she hid the child somewhere, what other explanation is there for little Sky's disappearance? She is not helping the police to help find her son, she has lied to them, then refused to talk to them, and has now hired a criminal defense lawyer. Where is her concern for her missing child?
I always think about how cute and well-kept Shaniya Davis looked. I will never assume that abuse will be obvious again.
  #330  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:31 PM
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Originally Posted by ~n/t~ View Post
I'm here and been here from the start.

Speculation on your part. Some are suggesting the photos were staged. There is no evidence that they were. None.

He obviously didn't get his daughter now either. He got supervised visits. There is obviously something wrong with him not getting full unsupervised custody.
I disagree. I can think of an easy dozen GREAT reasons why the courts would not grant him immediate custody, and none of them have anything to do with their being something wrong with him.

In any case, the guy has a LOT on his plate right now. We don't even know if he asked for full custody.
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  #331  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by sorrell skye View Post
I, too, suffer from severe panic attacks from time to time, and have for many years. Sometimes, it feels as if a tsunami is crashing over me & I fear I won't survive the wave. I have compassion for those who suffer the same.

I also have compassion for those who suffer from mental illness, as it seems that SB does.

I refuse to label those who suffer from mental illness as "crazy", or "psycho" or "evil".
Do your panic attacks make you irresponsible? Do you use your panic attacks as an excuse for crappy behavior? SB is a sucker. He is the only one who has compassion or love for her. She really screwed that one up.
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  #332  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by ~n/t~ View Post
His job is to find his son not bash his soon to be ex wife on national television telling the viewers he wasn't allowed to use the commode. How does that help find Sky? Seriously. Who cares? I'm actually sick of seeing him. I think it's self serving and does nothing to help find Sky. He should do something productive like organize a search or call SAR organization.

Leave Julia to the experts and LE.
how is he bashing her? maybe he was just telling the truth about what happened to him when he lived with Julia. And fyi, didn't he organize a search to help find his son? he keeps going to the media to beg them to help find his son, he doesn't spend most of it bashing his ex. how can anyone find sky when the police have said that julia knows where he is? they don't seem to believe that someone kidnapped him, so the key lies with her.
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  #333  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:32 PM
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Glad you decided to join in Marcijoy. I think she "eddited" her children out of the pics...so she could find shugah daddie
Did she edit out her children, or just the one?
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  #334  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:37 PM
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Originally Posted by ~n/t~ View Post

There are always 3 sides to a story. His, hers and the truth.

I think Julia is totally responsible for Sky's disappearance but to go on TV to answer questions about her "illness" serves no purpose imo. The focus should be on finding Sky and not Julia.
(snipped for brevity)
I agree with you and usually would not approve of him talking about her on TV, but he does seem to be working very closely with LE and I am guessing he may be doing that at the suggestion of LE. It seems like she may have support from a few people close to her who don't really see the extent of her mental illness. Suppose she did get her son spirited away by some underground group that hides abused children. I don't think it's likely, but just suppose. Or maybe her close supporters know things they're not revealing b/c they don't understand how sick she is. His statements may be a way to clue them in.

Also, I don't really agree that there are always three sides to every story. Sometimes one person is lying and one person is telling the truth.

By the way I'm a fan of yours on the Lisa Irwin thread, and even though I don't see eye-to-eye with you in this case, I like your independent thinking and the way you don't bow down to groupthink. Hugs.

Even though I support SM, I do see a little bit of what bothers you about some of his TV appearances. I think he compromised his principles in being with her in the first place, probably overly impressed with her charms, letting the little head do his thinking for him, so to speak...and look what has happened. If he married someone in his league he would have a normal life right now. Why are looks so important to some people? I don't believe him when he says they had a normal marriage for 5 years.
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  #335  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Chris_Texas View Post
Several of us have expressed the opinion (assuming what we have heard about her mental issues is true) that while Julia might be guilty of harming her child, that she is also a victim of her illness and a system that failed to help her or her family.

This is not a pardon, nor does it excuse what she did (assuming she did anything), but a statement of reality. I would say that Julia slipped through the cracks in our mental healthcare system, but we are not talking about a system with a few cracks. We have chasms.

We could fill those chasms, but that costs money, and as a society we have other priorities. We care about American Idol, we care about blowing **** up on the other side of the world, we care about football and granite countertops and whether or not someone is gay. We care more about saving the endangered Snaperdoodle than whether every child has enough to eat.

We don't care about someone losing their home to foreclosure, or someone who's career just got exported to China. We don't care that there are millions of people in this country who's only form of healthcare is prayer. We don't care that there are a million American kids who went to bed tonight hungry, and who will get dropped off at school tomorrow after sleeping in their car. And if it's "only" a mental health issue? Well we damn sure don't care about that.

Our solution to mental health for most is prayer and prison.

And I think we can do better.
Wow. WOW! Just.......wow. Stated terrifically !! Seems you should be out speechifying and helping to change the hearts and minds of humanity. You could be effectively building a better world ( I am NOT jesting) and yet here you are here with us at Websleuths. I am honored.

Thanks for the inspiring and true words.
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  #336  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:37 PM
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Did she edit out her children, or just the one?
I think she used the Mr. Ed photo I talked about the other day. It was not a $5000 a month photo. It was a Big Mac and a "hey thanks" photo.
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  #337  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:39 PM
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Originally Posted by rosemary View Post
how is he bashing her? maybe he was just telling the truth about what happened to him when he lived with Julia. And fyi, didn't he organize a search to help find his son? he keeps going to the media to beg them to help find his son, he doesn't spend most of it bashing his ex. how can anyone find sky when the police have said that julia knows where he is? they don't seem to believe that someone kidnapped him, so the key lies with her.
Absolutely. Also, it seems like a lot of the information he is being asked about are things that were in the declaration he made to the court many months before Sky went missing. He was not publicly bashing her then, he was filing a document with the court that has now been made public. If my kid was missing and people were asking me questions you better believe I would answer them and I would answer them honestly, even if it made my ex look bad. If it walks like a duck...
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  #338  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:41 PM
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I disagree. I can think of an easy dozen GREAT reasons why the courts would not grant him immediate custody, and none of them have anything to do with their being something wrong with him.

In any case, the guy has a LOT on his plate right now. We don't even know if he asked for full custody.
EXACTLY.

Regarding the photos:

There is no evidence to it but if you grab his declaration and you flip through the flickr acct you can actually mark off every "complaint" made. I like to infer a lot though.

If the photos arent related to the declaration and they are just randomly there by chance she is a lot crazier than we made her out to be.

The fact that the kids are wearing designer clothing and clean doesnt mean she takes care of them it means she likes to shop. My kids are filthy right now. Bless their hearts...
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  #339  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:44 PM
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I think she used the Mr. Ed photo I talked about the other day. It was not a $5000 a month photo. It was a Big Mac and a "hey thanks" photo.
The "thanks" button was not enough this line, so funny.
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  #340  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:46 PM
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What I don't understand is why JB chose not to get a sitter and leave her children alone?

She had the choice to leave them with their father, her mother, her brother, hire a baby sitter. Even if she couldn't afford a babysitter she could have offered to trade baby sitting time with another parent with children her childrens age. MOST 4 year olds are in preschool at least 3 days a week. There are umpteen playgroups offered all over the place. We know from residents of the building there are other children and other parents in the building who could have recommended a sitter. She could have even called the county to find out about baby sitting services. If her income allowed for it she could have contacted the county for day care assistance and providers who accept that assistance. She had a large number of friends who provided their testimonial for her in court. She could have asked them, asked someone in their family.

Yet she chose NONE of the above suggested options and chose to repeatedly leave them alone and for extended periods of time. It was like playing Russian Roulette (no pun intended). Statistically the odds against a 2 and 4 yr old NOT getting hurt as often and for as lengthy times as she admitted to leaving them unsupervised.

Now she is not talking and no one can find Sky.
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  #341  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:46 PM
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Absolutely. Also, it seems like a lot of the information he is being asked about are things that were in the declaration he made to the court many months before Sky went missing. He was not publicly bashing her then, he was filing a document with the court that has now been made public. If my kid was missing and people were asking me questions you better believe I would answer them and I would answer them honestly, even if it made my ex look bad. If it walks like a duck...
I agree.

Not once have I seen him call a presser to discuss his "crazy wife." Nor has he seemed comfortable discussing it.

I get the feeling that this guy is just broken. He's been through hell. He's been flogged for YEARS. He lost his business, his home, his condo, his wife, both kids, and now his son is perhaps dead. And no matter what he does or says people keep blaming him.

His no longer has the strength to tell the media "I don't think it is appropriate or important to discuss Julia at this time, let us focus on Sky."
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  #342  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Twelve of One View Post
(snipped for brevity)
I agree with you and usually would not approve of him talking about her on TV, but he does seem to be working very closely with LE and I am guessing he may be doing that at the suggestion of LE. It seems like she may have support from a few people close to her who don't really see the extent of her mental illness. Suppose she did get her son spirited away by some underground group that hides abused children. I don't think it's likely, but just suppose. Or maybe her close supporters know things they're not revealing b/c they don't understand how sick she is. His statements may be a way to clue them in.

Also, I don't really agree that there are always three sides to every story. Sometimes one person is lying and one person is telling the truth.

By the way I'm a fan of yours on the Lisa Irwin thread, and even though I don't see eye-to-eye with you in this case, I like your independent thinking and the way you don't bow down to groupthink. Hugs.

Even though I support SM, I do see a little bit of what bothers you about some of his TV appearances. I think he compromised his principles in being with her in the first place, probably overly impressed with her charms, letting the little head do his thinking for him, so to speak...and look what has happened. If he married someone in his league he would have a normal life right now. Why are looks so important to some people? I don't believe him when he says they had a normal marriage for 5 years.
I see Solomon as being very naive and soft, the kind who could easily be manipulated. Just because he might come from a male dominated culture doesn't mean that he has the same views of women or acts the way they do in his country of birth. I know quite a few guys who allow their wives to dominate them, my dad being one of them, and they remind me a lot of Solomon. He seems to be the type who is very eager, very willing to please. Just like I can't blame battered wives for staying with their abusers, I also can't blame Solomon for staying with her for such a long time if he really did feel that she was the love of his life. Maybe he had no other gf besides her, maybe he had been with no other woman, and he had a hard time letting go of her after being with her for so long. i think he did state that he only realized how wrong the whole situation was when he had a chance to live separately away from her.
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  #343  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:47 PM
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I think she used the Mr. Ed photo I talked about the other day. It was not a $5000 a month photo. It was a Big Mac and a "hey thanks" photo.
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Old 11-15-2011, 08:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Twelve of One View Post
(snipped for brevity)
I agree with you and usually would not approve of him talking about her on TV, but he does seem to be working very closely with LE and I am guessing he may be doing that at the suggestion of LE. It seems like she may have support from a few people close to her who don't really see the extent of her mental illness. Suppose she did get her son spirited away by some underground group that hides abused children. I don't think it's likely, but just suppose. Or maybe her close supporters know things they're not revealing b/c they don't understand how sick she is. His statements may be a way to clue them in.

Also, I don't really agree that there are always three sides to every story. Sometimes one person is lying and one person is telling the truth.
By the way I'm a fan of yours on the Lisa Irwin thread, and even though I
don't see eye-to-eye with you in this case, I like your independent thinking and the way you don't bow down to groupthink. Hugs.

Even though I support SM, I do see a little bit of what bothers you about some of his TV appearances. I think he compromised his principles in being with her in the first place, probably overly impressed with her charms, letting the little head do his thinking for him, so to
speak...and look what has happened. If he married someone in his league he would have a
normal life right now. Why are looks so important to some people? I don't believe him when he says they had a normal marriage for 5 years.
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Old 11-15-2011, 08:48 PM
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Actually, I think it is helpful for him to explain some of what was going on with her. So I care.... the more I understand about how her illness affected her, the more I might be able to come up with plausible theories about where she might have put Sky, kwim?

If she is afraid of dust, chances are she did not drive down a dirt road to put Sky wherever he is now. If she is so controlling as to deny the use of a bathroom, maybe that is why Sky is missing? Maybe he soiled himself and she flipped? Knowing more about how she reacts, will help LE in the search for Sky, I think anyway.

Salem
I guess if you believe him, yes I could see how that would help you or others. I have a problem with his honesty. I think his appearances are self serving and only spark more outrage against a woman who may or may not have killed her child.

I think if LE hasn't figured out what happened, we have a huge problem. He should continue to talk to LE and stop appearing on tv with his divorce attorney by his side. Why does he need his attorney there anyway?

Parents snap and kill their children even with no mental illness. OCD may or may not have anything to do with Sky's disappearance. Perhaps she hated SM's guts and took it out on Sky. IDK and nobody knows what her state of mind was at the time.

It does concern me that the LDT test was inconclusive to the bruises question. Not to say he has anything to do with Sky's disappearance but maybe what Julia said about him may be true.
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Old 11-15-2011, 08:51 PM
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I think she used the Mr. Ed photo I talked about the other day. It was not a $5000 a month photo. It was a Big Mac and a "hey thanks" photo.
Photoshop is a lot cheaper than porcelain veneers!
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  #347  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:57 PM
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The guy who owns the sugar daddy "arrangements" website, he said he can't tell whether someone registered for themselves or if someone else did it using their name (because it's free and he doesn't do background checks).

Can LE determine who registered the account? If they can, I can understand why they wouldn't make that info public. I just wondered if all that computer forensics that we see on shows like CSI, SVI, NCIS etc is realistic. A lot of their TV science is fake, but I don't know enough about computers for this one.
They can find out the IP number and then go to the ISP for subscriber information. They would need a warrant for the ISP information. The results would not be instant like the CSI t.v. show.
If the IP address is traced back to her home then it will be hard for her to say it was somebody else since she lives alone.
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Old 11-15-2011, 08:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Cubby View Post
What I don't understand is why JB chose not to get a sitter and leave her children alone?

She had the choice to leave them with their father, her mother, her brother, hire a baby sitter. Even if she couldn't afford a babysitter she could have offered to trade baby sitting time with another parent with children her childrens age. MOST 4 year olds are in preschool at least 3 days a week. There are umpteen playgroups offered all over the place. We know from residents of the building there are other children and other parents in the building who could have recommended a sitter. She could have even called the county to find out about baby sitting services. If her income allowed for it she could have contacted the county for day care assistance and providers who accept that assistance. She had a large number of friends who provided their testimonial for her in court. She could have asked them, asked someone in their family.

Yet she chose NONE of the above suggested options and chose to repeatedly leave them alone and for extended periods of time. It was like playing Russian Roulette (no pun intended). Statistically the odds against a 2 and 4 yr old NOT getting hurt as often and for as lengthy times as she admitted to leaving them unsupervised.
Now she is not talking and no one can find Sky.
BBM Yes, that is abuse. How do you keep 2 little ones from destroying the house? Kitchen to eat? Bathroom to potty?
Turn your back and 2yr/4yr olds get into allot of things, love to get their own drinks etc............
did she drug them up? keep them locked in a room? what did she really do to these children? That is my question.
Where is little daughter?
Hopefully in a safe place away from mother!
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  #349  
Old 11-15-2011, 08:59 PM
Cubby Cubby is offline
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IMO if SM were 'bashing' his wife, he'd be offering up more than the court documents which became available via MSM. He would have offered up why his wife claimed he kept their daughter from them for 7 months. He would have offered up the full story about her 3 hospitalizations. He's done none of that.

I have to disagree on the suggestion he stop appearing on TV to keep his childs story in the media. LE is still ASKING for tips. They are still doing two pressers a day? or is it down to 1 per day now this week? If LE had this figured out, they wouldn't be utilizing the media as they are.

More power too him. I disagree on hiding her illness, his not talking is more enabling. This mother needs help. She seriously needs help if she wishes to have any further involvement in her daughters life. Which sadly may be visits in a penitentiary.

Any media is better than no media, as with the thousands of MP cases out there. IIRC Charley project last had 9000 unsolved missing persons cases. We have families of the missing begging for even a paragraph. I'm afraid there just isn't going to be a happy median here.

Heck this LE department even openly solicited tips from Psychics - despite all we have read about how they interfere and are not reliable in MP cases. That tells me SM is likely doing as much media as he is per LE's request.

JMO
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  #350  
Old 11-15-2011, 09:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClassyT View Post
I think I disagree but only in my own personal experience and I am on the other side of the fence. I have OCD and exposure therapy and coping skills are more important for my condition. SSRI replaces the serotonin which is good but its like putting a bandaid on a severed arm. It wasnt until I got to the root of the problem and understood it that I was able to refocus reevaluate and laugh about it. I still do it but most of the time I can catch myself. I know people have it far worse than me. The condition evolves.
As a mental health counselor (verified by WS), I really appreciate your post. I have seem some amazing stories of recovery through exposure therapy and other C/BT techniques -- often these clients were not on any medications and demonstrated dramatic progress. Of course, I have also seen good responses to medication, especially when used in conjunction with other therapeutic interventions. Even if OCD does have a primary genetic basis, that doesn't exclude therapeutic techniques from helping to alleviate symptoms, as you so thoughtfully pointed out from your own experience. Just think about it: there are plenty of mental health conditions that respond to treatment other than medication (depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc). Thank you for your story!

I do still wish JB had gotten help -- there's plenty of it out there and lots of different approaches. Maybe we wouldn't be where we are today if she had gotten good treatment (even if she didn't do something to Sky, maybe we wouldn't be stuck with a little boy who is missing and a mom who won't give up any info....)
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