Woman Fingers Ex-Girlfriend In Sex Toy Theft

TrackerSam · Jul 24, 2013

JULY 24--Florida police are investigating the theft of three strap-on dildos that were allegedly taken from a storage unit by a female suspect after she broke up with her girlfriend following a rocky year-long relationship.

Rivera, who said she was unable to contact her ex about the missing dildos, surmised that the suspect temporarily removed the items in an attempt to get back together with her, depriving Rivera the use of the property.

The disappearance of the dildos has been classified as a possible grand theft, and the investigation remains open, according to a sheriffs report.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/strap-on-dildo-heist-9182345

I love Florida.

Dewey2Me1MoThyme · Jul 24, 2013

I can't even read this article until I stop laughing over the wording in the title. :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh:

Snoods · Jul 24, 2013

Dewey2Me1MoThyme said:
I can't even read this article until I stop laughing over the wording in the title. :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh:

Me too!:floorlaugh: I'm fresh off posting with much hilarity (and immaturity) in the Anthony Weiner thread so I already had a huge case of the giggles. This is hysterical.

burbqueen · Jul 24, 2013

WTH! i rubbed my eyes a few times. I just read the first 3 words! WS oh my........

TrackerSam · Jul 24, 2013

Dewey2Me1MoThyme said:
I can't even read this article until I stop laughing over the wording in the title. :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh:

And this line "classified as a possible grand theft". I guess they do come in different sizes, from petty to grand theft. :floorlaugh:

Dewey2Me1MoThyme · Jul 24, 2013

I'm wondering if this case was a hard one for the detectives?

Steely Dan · Jul 24, 2013

Dewey2Me1MoThyme said:
I can't even read this article until I stop laughing over the wording in the title. :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh:

Me too! :floorlaugh:

john's mom · Jul 24, 2013

Steely, I thought for sure you were the one who started this thread!

Steely Dan · Jul 24, 2013

john's mom said:
Steely, I thought for sure you were the one who started this thread!

TS is funnier than I am.

ArianeEmory · Jul 24, 2013

I have to admit, I thought it must be something really expensive like a Sybian.

Googling that is NSFW.

TrackerSam · Jul 24, 2013

You've priced them? Been shopping have you? :floorlaugh: :blushing: I'd steer clear of used machines.

Snoods · Jul 24, 2013

ArianeEmory said:
I have to admit, I thought it must be something really expensive like a Sybian.

Googling that is NSFW.

Fortunately I wasn't at work because I googled Sybian before I googled NSFW!:floorlaugh:

TrackerSam · Jul 24, 2013

Dewey2Me1MoThyme said:
I'm wondering if this case was a hard one for the detectives?

"Yes Ma'am, please describe the stolen items....... Vibrating? No Ma'am I'm not trying to be funny. We're going to need a DNA sample. No Ma'am I'm not smirking, just a bit of gas." "Like family..... yes Ma'am we get that". :floorlaugh:

ArianeEmory · Jul 24, 2013

Snoods said:
Fortunately I wasn't at work because I googled Sybian before I googled NSFW!:floorlaugh:

Haha, I tried!

ArianeEmory · Jul 24, 2013

TrackerSam said:
You've priced them? Been shopping have you? :floorlaugh: :blushing: I'd steer clear of used machines.

I have no memory of the events in question.

TrackerSam · Jul 24, 2013

ArianeEmory said:
I have no memory of the events in question.

:floorlaugh::floorlaugh::floorlaugh:

Dewey2Me1MoThyme · Jul 24, 2013

Why does this song come to mind?

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PdZgrnh69w"]Muddy Waters - Mustang Sally - YouTube[/ame]

texaslb218 · Jul 24, 2013

At least there is no possibility of this headline being "premature."

Dewey2Me1MoThyme · Jul 24, 2013

Sounds like a clear cut case of snatch and grab to me.

Snoods · Jul 24, 2013

This thread is heading down a slippery slope.

Woman Fingers Ex-Girlfriend In Sex Toy Theft

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