A 4 year old is accused of sexual misconduct??

kidzndogznme · #1 12-08-2006, 07:43 PM

http://www.kxxv.com/Global/story.asp?S=5785699
According to this link, a 4 year old child was accused of inappropriate contact that was interpreted as sexual in nature! He was given in school suspension. I work in a school in a rough area and there are some kindergarteners who know what sex is and they have spoken inappropriately about it. But in my general experience, I would never interpret a 4 year old as being sexual!!! I get hugs from my Girl Scouts and my daycare kids all the time. Geesh!!

Mr. E · #2 12-08-2006, 07:51 PM

I don't know about suspension. Maybe it was an inappropriate touch, which might indicate that he's learned it from an abuser. When my daughter was in kindergarten a boy (another kindergartner, 5 years old) touched her inappropriately, and there was no doubt in anybody's mind that it was a sexual touch. He may not have known what it meant, but it was definitely sexual. Perhaps this child needs to have his home life investigated, and maybe he needs a little counseling, too.

kgeaux · #3 12-08-2006, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. E

I don't know about suspension. Maybe it was an inappropriate touch, which might indicate that he's learned it from an abuser. When my daughter was in kindergarten a boy (another kindergartner, 5 years old) touched her inappropriately, and there was no doubt in anybody's mind that it was a sexual touch. He may not have known what it meant, but it was definitely sexual. Perhaps this child needs to have his home life investigated, and maybe he needs a little counseling, too.

He rubbed his little face up against her breasts while he hugged her------this is something all my little boys have done, and it never, ever felt anything even remotely like sexual or inappropriate touching. Kids like to snuggle up against soft things, and breasts are , well they are soft!

KatK · #4 12-08-2006, 11:54 PM

Coming in to also say the idea that what that child did is sexual is pure offal! I too, have had more than one child do exactly this when hugging me. They are only four, they haven't been weaned/off the bottle that long proportianate to their years! They are used to being held against a woman's bosom for comfort and affection. It is *NOT* sexual! That chick shouldn't be teaching children that age if she cannot grasp that, and the school needs a heavy session with a clue-by-four upside their heads until they are able to think clearly.

txsvicki · #5 12-09-2006, 12:59 AM

This child may have a big buxom mom or grandma and I'll bet this teacher is too and he wants to hug in this way. The teacher surely wasn't worried about being accused of anything since they get away with any and all that they come up with to do to people. I say that schools anymore are out of control and people just sit back and put up with it all. Young children are being treated like adult criminals. They think they are the ones in charge of our kids, able to make medical diagnosis, etc. etc. I had a special ed coordinator say to me "our kids". I said they're not your kids, they're my kids. These people work for us, the taxpayers, and I wish someone really in charge would do something about it, or someone start a massive state by state complaint or lawsuits.

WhiteWolf · #6 12-09-2006, 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kgeaux

He rubbed his little face up against her breasts while he hugged her------this is something all my little boys have done, and it never, ever felt anything even remotely like sexual or inappropriate touching. Kids like to snuggle up against soft things, and breasts are , well they are soft!

No kidding!

My male dog, who is 4 years old (and I've had him since he was 6 weeks old), puts his head on my breasts to snuggle me in the morning. My son did this until he went to kindergarten. Everyone loves something soft and snuggly to cuddle (hubby, too).

JBean · #7 12-09-2006, 01:28 AM

I would fight to have it removed from his school record at all costs.

I had a friend that had a boy that would get into trouble on and off. Nothing serious, just stupid stuff. Anyway, when he was in about 7th grade he got into some trouble and they pulled his whole record.In the file was information that he had put paint in a girl's hair in KINDERGARTEN and it was used as "evidence" against him.
As the mother of mostly post high school and college age kids, I cannot tell you how important it tis to get the nonsense off their records. Even at this young of an age. If they deserve it, so be it. But if it's garbage, don't let it go. Fight to get it off their records.

WhiteWolf · #8 12-09-2006, 01:59 AM

After rereading the article, it's clear to me that the teachers aide is the one with the problem. Is it so distasteful and inapropriate for a four year old boy to hug his teacher? When my son started kindergarten, his female teacher told me my son was one of the most affectionate and loving pupils she had ever had in her class. It's the sick pedophiles who are ruining everything for our children and their teachers. Everyone is a pervert if they show affection for another human being. A sad commentary on our humanity.

kgeaux · #9 12-09-2006, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhiteWolf

After rereading the article, it's clear to me that the teachers aide is the one with the problem. Is it so distasteful and inapropriate for a four year old boy to hug his teacher? When my son started kindergarten, his female teacher told me my son was one of the most affectionate and loving pupils she had ever had in her class. It's the sick pedophiles who are ruining everything for our children and their teachers. Everyone is a pervert if they show affection for another human being. A sad commentary on our humanity.

I agree. The teacher's aide is a nut job.

Mygirlsadie · #10 12-09-2006, 07:57 AM

You have seriously got to be kidding me? He is 4.... poor baby probably has no idea.

Gozgals · #11 12-09-2006, 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhiteWolf

It's the sick pedophiles who are ruining everything for our children and their teachers. Everyone is a pervert if they show affection for another human being. A sad commentary on our humanity.

It's disgraceful this poor, young child has been made to feel that he has done wrong due to the stupidity of the teachers aide. Showing affection is what a child learns to do naturally. This aide apparently has a screw loose.

How sad affection is now viewed and confused as sexual especially when showed by a young child.

Gozgals

teonspaleprincess · #12 12-09-2006, 09:02 AM

I agree. My little one is four and he loves to hug everyone and yes if you are a woman his head goes straight to the boobs. I think that is just natural for any child. The woman must be a pervert if she took that as sexual in nature!

fran · #13 12-09-2006, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JBean

I would fight to have it removed from his school record at all costs.

I had a friend that had a boy that would get into trouble on and off. Nothing serious, just stupid stuff. Anyway, when he was in about 7th grade he got into some trouble and they pulled his whole record.In the file was information that he had put paint in a girl's hair in KINDERGARTEN and it was used as "evidence" against him.
As the mother of mostly post high school and college age kids, I cannot tell you how important it tis to get the nonsense off their records. Even at this young of an age. If they deserve it, so be it. But if it's garbage, don't let it go. Fight to get it off their records.

I agree Jelly.

This is so wrong. If need be, the dad should get an attorney if that is what it takes. This should NOT be on this little boy's record, period.

fran

JBean · #14 12-09-2006, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fran

I agree Jelly.

This is so wrong. If need be, the dad should get an attorney if that is what it takes. This should NOT be on this little boy's record, period.

fran

HI Fran...many don't think that the record of a 4 year old will ever surface or have meaning. It can and will.

Ang50 · #15 12-09-2006, 03:49 PM

OK - unless this is an unusually tall 4 year old and short teacher's aide, the aide must have "consented" initially to the hug. It's not like 2 4-year olds where one won't stop hugging the other. She's an adult - it's up to her to say "That's not OK with me when you hug like that." and leave it go. Not to mention to think it's sexual - what is it with this world?

And then the administration is going to think this is normal... hello?? Welcome to taxpayer hell - dad has to sue to get this removed, and the district will spend tons of money on lawyers to keep this 4 year old's record on the books. Seriously, don't people have any sense?

If we were talking student to student, or even an older child, maybe... but a 4 year old - ridiculous. Good for that dad!

southcitymom · #16 12-10-2006, 03:09 PM

Something is wrong with this teachers aid as well as the princiapl of this primary school. They both need to seek out different professions.

txsvicki · #17 12-11-2006, 02:30 AM

It almost seems like the school is exposing the child to sexual things if they told him why he was in trouble and put into detention. Wonder if they are not going to allow hugging at all. I might have known this happened in Texas, and it sounds like the Headstart preschool program and some of those aides that get the kids on the buses are nuts and racist. One that oversaw my grandson once was so mean. When I complained to the principal about her for denying breakfast to my grandson after she made me late signing in by continuing to chat with a man, I was told that I am paranoid even though I was one of many over a period of several years who complained about this woman.

hicpics · #18 12-11-2006, 10:23 AM

I agree the teachers aide and the school district are the ones with the problem. For the teachers aide to think his hug was sexual to begin with , i think she has a problem there

mjak · #19 12-11-2006, 11:31 AM

I want to know why the teachers aid is associating the normal affections and mannerisums of a 4 year old as sexual?? This brings up several questions about the aid in my mind. Is she attracted to 4 year olds?? If so good bye to the aid.
This needs to be removed from the childs record and an aplogy is in order. It is fine
to restrict how a child touches another adult in a school setting. A simple reminder of
we keep our hands to ourselves speech would be sufficent. Calling it sexual harrasment and writing up this child is totally inapporpriate and again makes me
concerned about the Aids fitness for the job she has.

mjak

4Angels · #20 12-13-2006, 12:40 PM

Can we get this freak's ability to work with children removed?

Any teacher's aide who felt threatened in ANY way by a 4 year old is one not mentally, educationally, or emotionally competent to handle children.

Ang50 · #21 12-13-2006, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4Angels

Can we get this freak's ability to work with children removed?

Any teacher's aide who felt threatened in ANY way by a 4 year old is one not mentally, educationally, or emotionally competent to handle children.

I wonder, if in this topsy turvy non-reality world that this school district is operating in... if the principal or administration was worried that if they took this "lightly" and told the aide that this wasn't a sexual advance, that they would get sued for not doing anything about sexual harassment? So principal figured that if they punished the 4 year old instead - no harm, no lawsuit??

I'm just at such a loss to explain, but it seems plausible that this aide came in complaining about getting her boobs rubbed, and principal thought that she would file a sex complaint if it wasn't dealt with.

californiacarrie · #22 12-13-2006, 07:33 PM

This is pure craziness. Even if the teacher did suspect or feel like the act was sexual in nature (which is nuts) the concern should have been whether or not the child was being molested or exposed to such behaviors at home. My god.

partyuv5 · #23 12-14-2006, 04:57 AM

My mother was very flat chested and occassionally we would see her before she had dressed for the day. My grandmother had very large breasts. When I was a little girl, my older sister and I would spend summers with my grandparents (they lived about 4 hrs away).

There was a time that my sister and I saw my grandmother putting on her bra and we asked her if we could touch her "boobs." (We were amazed by how large they were)! My grandma knew the mindset of children and said "yes" and that was the end of it.

My point is that there was nothing inappropriate with my situation as well as this child in the news. Why do people want to steal innocence from children? Let them be. Let them grow. Most times they are just courious!

mysteriew · #24 12-14-2006, 10:05 AM

People are weird, so the aide's response didn't suprise me so much. But the school's response did. First of all, the school is a mandatory reporter. If they felt the hug was sexual in nature, and since sexual behavior is not a normal part of the development of a 4 year old, I would have to wonder if they made a referral to CPS? And if not why not? Certainly that would be a more appropriate reaction from the school than a suspension. They punished the child, without really knowing what was going on.
Second, they were going to be talking to the child about a sex related topic. So why did they not make sure that parents were there for that conversation? For even an older child to recieve sex education, don't they have to have a signed release from the parents?
I know a lot of schools have policies that teachers don't hug students, but this is really over the top to punish a kid.
And Ang50, you made a good point about the height difference.

txsvicki · #25 12-14-2006, 10:28 PM

I don't think this was really any reason to be turning the child's parents into CPS and the school is the one abusing the child by punishing him, trying to label him, and causing the family all sorts of stress and worry. I was sitting outside the school today picking up kids and looking at teachers and had a thought. This child must be very tall or the aide was a really really short woman because 4 year olds are not big enough for their face to reach a woman's breasts when standing up getting into line for a bus.