Missouri Man Denied Adoption Because Of His Weight

[White Rain]

A Missouri man claims he's being discriminated against due to his weight, according to MyFoxKC.com.
Gary Stocklaufer said he and his wife, Cynthia, were asked to adopt Gary's cousin's 3-month-old son because the relative couldn't care for the boy anymore. But a judge — the same judge who approved Gary's adoption of his now 7-year-old son — denied the adoption on the grounds of Gary's weight, Stocklaufer said.
Stocklaufer said he weighs roughly 500 pounds — though he's lost 35 and is working to lose more — and that his weight hasn't stopped him from working as a truck driver or playing with his son.
The couple said their attorney has filed a motion for a new hearing.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,290849,00.html


This sounds very prejudicial to me. I agree this man is severly over-weight and it is certain to cause health issues eventually if he maintains that weight, BUT he did say he's lost weight and is continuing to do so. If his weight is not interfering with everyday tasks, like working and playing with his son, then why would anyone think he would be unable to care for a baby?

[Peter Hamilton]

I don't agree WR--500 pounds is morbidly obese--Let him get a gastric bypass operation,then lose 200 pounds--Anybody that weighs 500 pounds is a walking timebomb and he could drop dead anytime--Then the adopted kid is instantly fatherless--Its not fair to the adopted child

[txsvicki]

This is realllllly ridiculous. The man is family, the baby needs parents, and the man has a wife who also can take care of this baby and be it's mom. If they aren't allowed to adopt, they could still be raising the child anyway, and if he does die due to his weight or even in some accident while out on the road, the wife won't even be able to collect social security benefits for the child.

[southcitymom]

Lame. A good obese parent is better than a bad thin parent any hour of the day.

[SewingDeb]

I totally agree, southcitymom.

[Peter Hamilton]

The problem is,this guy is a failure in life--He is hardly a good role model and that recent study shows the more fat people in the house,the higher chance everybody will gain weight--At 500 pounds, to put it indelicately, this guy can't even wipe himself after a bowel movement--The Judge did the right thing

[southcitymom]

Originally Posted by Peter Hamilton

The problem is,this guy is a failure in life--He is hardly a good role model and that recent study shows the more fat people in the house,the higher chance everybody will gain weight--At 500 pounds, to put it indelicately, this guy can't even wipe himself after a bowel movement--The Judge did the right thing

A loser in life because he's obese? Hardly. This guy has a wife, a job, a son he plays with. Doesn't sound like a loser to me...."Fat" is the new thing to openly discrimnate again - and it's total BS.

[Dena]

Originally Posted by Peter Hamilton

The problem is,this guy is a failure in life--He is hardly a good role model and that recent study shows the more fat people in the house,the higher chance everybody will gain weight--At 500 pounds, to put it indelicately, this guy can't even wipe himself after a bowel movement--The Judge did the right thing

Wow...
Since when does how much someone weighs determine whether or not they are a good role model?
Children are given to abusive parents all the time, but this guy can't adopt because he's obese? If that's the case, why not take his other child away from him. Call DCFS, this guy eats too many oreos!
Give me a break. If he's working to lose the weight, give the guy a chance. There are plenty of obese parents and judges don't get involved.
We're all timebombs. Should a parent who has cancer have their children taken away? Our vehicles are timebombs, any one of us can die any day, people die everyday. It doesn't take away from the ability to be a loving parent.

[tennessee]

Let's see. The little boy has been in his care for seven years already and now the judge won't allow the adoption because he is obese. Yeah, let's put the little guy into the system and see how fast he is adopted out to a stranger.

I find blatant rudeness and ignorance much more offensive than obesity.

[Paladin]

Originally Posted by Peter Hamilton

The problem is,this guy is a failure in life-

Stop right there man. Not cool.

[Dena]

Originally Posted by tennessee

Let's see. The little boy has been in his care for seven years already and now the judge won't allow the adoption because he is obese. Yeah, let's put the little guy into the system and see how fast he is adopted out to a stranger.

I find blatant rudeness and ignorance much more offensive than obesity.

It was my understanding that he has ANOTHER adopted child, the 7 year old, and is now trying to adopt a 3 month old.
Sounds like this man's heart is even bigger than his appetite, and that's what's most important.

[tennessee]

Ah, you are right. I misread. Still I stand by what I said about rudeness and ignorance.

Sounds like this man's heart is even bigger than his appetite, and that's what's most important.

ITA!!!!!

[j2mirish]

Originally Posted by southcitymom

Lame. A good obese parent is better than a bad thin parent any hour of the day.

Originally Posted by southcitymom

A loser in life because he's obese? Hardly. This guy has a wife, a job, a son he plays with. Doesn't sound like a loser to me...."Fat" is the new thing to openly discrimnate again - and it's total BS.

Originally Posted by Dena

Wow...
Since when does how much someone weighs determine whether or not they are a good role model?
Children are given to abusive parents all the time, but this guy can't adopt because he's obese? If that's the case, why not take his other child away from him. Call DCFS, this guy eats too many oreos!
Give me a break. If he's working to lose the weight, give the guy a chance. There are plenty of obese parents and judges don't get involved.
We're all timebombs. Should a parent who has cancer have their children taken away? Our vehicles are timebombs, any one of us can die any day, people die everyday. It doesn't take away from the ability to be a loving parent.

[gman20001969]

If I were the judge, I would throw in my thoughts on the man's weight and say that I'd wish he would loose weight due to the increased possibility of dying to young and leaving both kids fatherless, but I'd go ahead and grant the adoption. After all, should we take all the kids away from thier morbidly obese parents in the fear they will one day loose said parent?

[Rino]

Originally Posted by southcitymom

A loser in life because he's obese? Hardly. This guy has a wife, a job, a son he plays with. Doesn't sound like a loser to me...."Fat" is the new thing to openly discrimnate again - and it's total BS.

You said a mouthful

[Paladin]

Originally Posted by southcitymom

A loser in life because he's obese? Hardly. This guy has a wife, a job, a son he plays with. Doesn't sound like a loser to me...."Fat" is the new thing to openly discrimnate again - and it's total BS.

I agree with your sentiments above, but it's not "total BS". Have you ever had to sit on an airplane next to someone who takes up all of their space AND half of yours?

Obesity is also attributed to part of the rising healthcare costs in the nation. Are you happy paying a higher premium because of the rise in heart disease and diabetes?

Now, as for caring for a child, I completely agree, but to promote an unhealthy lifestyle that has the potential to effect others immediately I have a problem with. I think it's on the same level as smoking.

[NewMom2003]

I agree that a person should not be discriminated against because of his/her weight. His health may really be the issue here.

Typically during the homestudy process for adoption, the social worker will request a letter from the doctor of the prospective parents giving their health status. If his doctor has stated that he's in good health, then the judge should NOT hold up the adoption on the grounds of his weight.

If his doctor says he's not in good health, I can see the social worker and judge holding it up then.

There isn't enough information in this article, so we don't have the full story.

[southcitymom]

Originally Posted by Paladin

I agree with your sentiments above, but it's not "total BS". Have you ever had to sit on an airplane next to someone who takes up all of their space AND half of yours?

Obesity is also attributed to part of the rising healthcare costs in the nation. Are you happy paying a higher premium because of the rise in heart disease and diabetes?

Now, as for caring for a child, I completely agree, but to promote an unhealthy lifestyle that has the potential to effect others immediately I have a problem with. I think it's on the same level as smoking.

I hear you, Paladin. I truly do. But it is BS to call someone who is fat a loser and it is BS to deny them the opportunity to adopt.

As far as everyone's unhealthy lifestyle choices - I don't care what people eat, drink, smoke or do or don't do at the gym.

If the person next to me on the airplane is crushing into my space with their girth or wearing a cologne that makes me want to puke or reading a publication that offends me or snoring when they sleep or yakking on their cell phone, I may be irritated that someone else's lifestyle is impinging on my comfort, but I learned to live with that a long time ago and I'm still not interested in legislating them into a healthier place.

I personally don't care about paying higher healthcare costs due to smoking or obesity or AIDS or drug abuse or whatever other "cause du jour" is going to be blamed this season for our healthcare woes. I'm happy to keep paying for all the dying people and I assume someone will do the same for me when I'm dying and if they don't, I'm okay with that too.

This doesn't mean I am a fan of promoting unhealthy lifestyles. I do want people to be healthier and happier - just not enough to legislate their behavior to death.

These are just my opinions - I know other people have different feelings on the matter.

[t93]

Puhleeze. My hubby is a big boy(300 at 5'10") who is way more active than skinny minnie me. He is a volunteer fireman, athletic, and his doctor always praises him at his checkups-all of his tests come up great. We eat a lot of healthy food from our garden. He does not lift weights but is as strong as an ox. His weight bothers him enough without people implying he lives an unhealthy life or is not a great father because of his weight. Our boys are in great shape and active, not fat at all.

Oh, and P.S. the man is dang sexy and I will gladly sit next to him in an airplane or in a small bench. And I am not desperate or hard up for a man.

[Taximom]

My sister is a whopping 126 lbs and has very high cholesterol for which she is on medication for. I'm assuming this same judge would look at her and approve an adoption because she's slim?

Her arteries may be clogged to the hilt, but because she's skinny and *looks* healthy, all is well?

That's one stupid judge.

[Squishified]

Originally Posted by gman20001969

If I were the judge, I would throw in my thoughts on the man's weight and say that I'd wish he would loose weight due to the increased possibility of dying to young and leaving both kids fatherless, but I'd go ahead and grant the adoption. After all, should we take all the kids away from thier morbidly obese parents in the fear they will one day loose said parent?

Right on, gman!

[Paladin]

Originally Posted by southcitymom

I hear you, Paladin. I truly do. But it is BS to call someone who is fat a loser and it is BS to deny them the opportunity to adopt.

As far as everyone's unhealthy lifestyle choices - I don't care what people eat, drink, smoke or do or don't do at the gym.

If the person next to me on the airplane is crushing into my space with their girth or wearing a cologne that makes me want to puke or reading a publication that offends me or snoring when they sleep or yakking on their cell phone, I may be irritated that someone else's lifestyle is impinging on my comfort, but I learned to live with that a long time ago and I'm still not interested in legislating them into a healthier place.

I personally don't care about paying higher healthcare costs due to smoking or obesity or AIDS or drug abuse or whatever other "cause du jour" is going to be blamed this season for our healthcare woes. I'm happy to keep paying for all the dying people and I assume someone will do the same for me when I'm dying and if they don't, I'm okay with that too.

This doesn't mean I am a fan of promoting unhealthy lifestyles. I do want people to be healthier and happier - just not enough to legislate their behavior to death.

These are just my opinions - I know other people have different feelings on the matter.

I don't care what people do in eat, drink whatever as well, but if it directly affects me I do care, very much. I mean, for instance, I don't want to eat a meal in a restaurant where people are smoking. Their bad habit is affecting my health and my meal.

A heavy set person taking up half of my seat affects me as well. If someone is taking up half of my seat I would expect them to pay me for half of my ticket.

So here's what happens. Airlines either force them to buy 2 seats, or they start upgrading their planes to have bigger seats, which means less people can fit on a plane, which means the price of airline tickets go up.

No one should have to "learn to live with that". And if you have, you're certainly a much better person than I am, or a push-over (not meant as an insult).

[Autumn2004]

Originally Posted by Taximom

My sister is a whopping 126 lbs and has very high cholesterol for which she is on medication for. I'm assuming this same judge would look at her and approve an adoption because she's slim?

Her arteries may be clogged to the hilt, but because she's skinny and *looks* healthy, all is well?

That's one stupid judge.

Thank you My husband was in horrible health but to look at him he looks very healthy. His cholesterol was over 300. His blood pressure was sky high. He was a ticking time bomb. There is a term called thin outside fat inside.

This man was trying to change his life, he has lost weight and is making an effort. Im sure with as many fat cells as he has that he has insulin resistance which makes it a very slow process to lose weight since when your insulin is high it slows down your metabolism so it could take him a while to get down there.

I hardly think people should be allowed to judge his lifestyle since I know many thin people ( I was one of them) that eat badly. The only way you can is if you lead a perfectly healthy vegan lifestyle with no smoking or drinking. Otherwise you are always at risk for a health problem.

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/...ide/index.html

[SadieMae]

I don't agree with the judge. People who are height/weight proportionate DIE everyday. This baby would be better of with this man and his wife. Even for his weight, he is a stable parent. Sometimes the judicial system is so f'ed up when it comes to what's best for children. The same judge would probably give kids back to a crackhead mom.

[j2mirish]

Originally Posted by southcitymom

As far as everyone's unhealthy lifestyle choices - I don't care what people eat, drink, smoke or do or don't do at the gym.

If the person next to me on the airplane is crushing into my space with their girth or wearing a cologne that makes me want to puke or reading a publication that offends me or snoring when they sleep or yakking on their cell phone, I may be irritated that someone else's lifestyle is impinging on my comfort, but I learned to live with that a long time ago and I'm still not interested in legislating them into a healthier place.

This doesn't mean I am a fan of promoting unhealthy lifestyles. I do want people to be healthier and happier - just not enough to legislate their behavior to death.

snipped by j2m

you are on a fabulous roll- very well stated scm- couldnt agree with you more-