MOM tweets while son drowns

[LadyL]

Two-year-old Bryson Ross died in the family's swimming pool Monday. Mother Shellie Ross posted on Twitter.com about his accident a half-hour after she called paramedics

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/1..._n_395833.html

[LadyL]

every source I've read is stating something like 74 tweets that day

I keep seeing posts in defense of turning to social media in times of distress

I just don't get it

maybe after the fact ... like days later? idk what to say w/o seeming judgmental

[Cubby]

Sounds like mom has an addiction. I read her excuse that she was outside with him. Well, she wasn't watching her child near a pool, she was watching something else she shouldn't have been watching. I wonder if she was so into tweeting whether she even heard him fall in. No excuse to be out there and not having moms EYES on the child, especially so close to the pool.

So sad. This child died needlessly. RIP little guy.

[Samiya]

With all the controversy surrounding this so far I have to chime in before it sets in here too.

Shellie was outside with both her sons when this happened. She was not twitting from a computer. Her oldest son unwittingly left the pool gate open (yes the pool was fenced) and her youngest wandered inside and we all know the outcome.

What not many news reports are saying is that Shellie performed CPR on her baby until paramedics arrived. The time the paramedics were called has been reported from one minute after her last post (within that minute his lungs would have been full of water resulting in a severe lack of oxygen to his brain) to 11 minutes after her last tweet. I do know that her son rang 911 while Shellie performed CPR on her baby.

While paramedics were working on her son, (which meant all she could do was stand and watch the rest of the event unfold) she twittered and asked for prayers from her followers. When you are alone and in despair and can do absolutely nothing about what is going on around you, you do tend to want to reach out to someone, anyone.

Ask yourself...How many Websleuthers have asked for prayers for loved ones? How many, unasked, offer prayers for the loved ones whose children are missing, for the parents of those who have died? How many Websleuthers have attended the memorials of those they don't know in support...again participating in prayers.

What Shellie did is no different. It doesn't make her a bad mother. How many parents are sitting online at a computer right now posting twits, facebooking or playing online games who can't even see their kids or what they're doing?

The headlines I see everywhere say she was twittering as her son was dying.

As for not hearing her son fall in the pool...the majority of parents whose kids drown in pools hear nothing. Pool drownings are silent killers. And couple that with thinking that your pool gate is shut, and no one has left it open, you're left with a very sad scenario that no one on this earth would dream of happening to them.

Some children do not even fall into the pool, they slide in if they were reaching over it and not a sound is heard.

This is what I have learned just from finding all current reports on Shellie's boy drowning. I don't know Shellie at all. I do know she has a husband, an 18 year old and her 11 year old.

If the police can investigate her twitters and deem them to have no standing in the death of her son, why can't anyone else?

[Shamrock]

Okay.... just... wow.

[angelmom]

I agree. I have followed this a little bit as well, and what bugs me is the people who direct messaged her to tell her how horrible she was.

REALLY?? Are you really complaining that this mom is addicted to twitter, but you have so much freaking free time that you can blast a newly bereaved parent for something that you can't possibly know all the details of????

How about watching your own kids? Or pets. Or job. One woman went so far as to call LE and hospitals in the area to try to confirm the story. But Shellie is a bad person for spending a few seconds asking her support network to pray for her son?

I do not get the hate here. It is really ugly.

[southcitymom]

Originally Posted by Samiya

With all the controversy surrounding this so far I have to chime in before it sets in here too.

Shellie was outside with both her sons when this happened. She was not twitting from a computer. Her oldest son unwittingly left the pool gate open (yes the pool was fenced) and her youngest wandered inside and we all know the outcome.

What not many news reports are saying is that Shellie performed CPR on her baby until paramedics arrived. The time the paramedics were called has been reported from one minute after her last post (within that minute his lungs would have been full of water resulting in a severe lack of oxygen to his brain) to 11 minutes after her last tweet. I do know that her son rang 911 while Shellie performed CPR on her baby.

While paramedics were working on her son, (which meant all she could do was stand and watch the rest of the event unfold) she twittered and asked for prayers from her followers. When you are alone and in despair and can do absolutely nothing about what is going on around you, you do tend to want to reach out to someone, anyone.

Ask yourself...How many Websleuthers have asked for prayers for loved ones? How many, unasked, offer prayers for the loved ones whose children are missing, for the parents of those who have died? How many Websleuthers have attended the memorials of those they don't know in support...again participating in prayers.

What Shellie did is no different. It doesn't make her a bad mother. How many parents are sitting online at a computer right now posting twits, facebooking or playing online games who can't even see their kids or what they're doing?

The headlines I see everywhere say she was twittering as her son was dying.

As for not hearing her son fall in the pool...the majority of parents whose kids drown in pools hear nothing. Pool drownings are silent killers. And couple that with thinking that your pool gate is shut, and no one has left it open, you're left with a very sad scenario that no one on this earth would dream of happening to them.

Some children do not even fall into the pool, they slide in if they were reaching over it and not a sound is heard.

This is what I have learned just from finding all current reports on Shellie's boy drowning. I don't know Shellie at all. I do know she has a husband, an 18 year old and her 11 year old.

If the police can investigate her twitters and deem them to have no standing in the death of her son, why can't anyone else?

Thanks for the full story. The title of this thread is misleading. Also - it should not be in Crimes in the News and I hope a mod will move it. My love and prayers to Shellie and her family.

[southcitymom]

Originally Posted by angelmom

I agree. I have followed this a little bit as well, and what bugs me is the people who direct messaged her to tell her how horrible she was.

REALLY?? Are you really complaining that this mom is addicted to twitter, but you have so much freaking free time that you can blast a newly bereaved parent for something that you can't possibly know all the details of????

How about watching your own kids? Or pets. Or job. One woman went so far as to call LE and hospitals in the area to try to confirm the story. But Shellie is a bad person for spending a few seconds asking her support network to pray for her son?

I do not get the hate here. It is really ugly.

Such a great post, I wanted to do more than "thank" it.

[Shamrock]

Originally Posted by Samiya

With all the controversy surrounding this so far I have to chime in before it sets in here too.

Shellie was outside with both her sons when this happened. She was not twitting from a computer. Her oldest son unwittingly left the pool gate open (yes the pool was fenced) and her youngest wandered inside and we all know the outcome.

What not many news reports are saying is that Shellie performed CPR on her baby until paramedics arrived. The time the paramedics were called has been reported from one minute after her last post (within that minute his lungs would have been full of water resulting in a severe lack of oxygen to his brain) to 11 minutes after her last tweet. I do know that her son rang 911 while Shellie performed CPR on her baby.

While paramedics were working on her son, (which meant all she could do was stand and watch the rest of the event unfold) she twittered and asked for prayers from her followers. When you are alone and in despair and can do absolutely nothing about what is going on around you, you do tend to want to reach out to someone, anyone.

Ask yourself...How many Websleuthers have asked for prayers for loved ones? How many, unasked, offer prayers for the loved ones whose children are missing, for the parents of those who have died? How many Websleuthers have attended the memorials of those they don't know in support...again participating in prayers.

What Shellie did is no different. It doesn't make her a bad mother. How many parents are sitting online at a computer right now posting twits, facebooking or playing online games who can't even see their kids or what they're doing?

The headlines I see everywhere say she was twittering as her son was dying.

As for not hearing her son fall in the pool...the majority of parents whose kids drown in pools hear nothing. Pool drownings are silent killers. And couple that with thinking that your pool gate is shut, and no one has left it open, you're left with a very sad scenario that no one on this earth would dream of happening to them.

Some children do not even fall into the pool, they slide in if they were reaching over it and not a sound is heard.

This is what I have learned just from finding all current reports on Shellie's boy drowning. I don't know Shellie at all. I do know she has a husband, an 18 year old and her 11 year old.

If the police can investigate her twitters and deem them to have no standing in the death of her son, why can't anyone else?

Thanks for the full story and for putting this into perspective for me. It changed my mind!

[mayfairlight]

Maybe not so sensationalist as the title implies.
Rest in peace poor baby

[mayfairlight]

Originally Posted by Cubby

Sounds like mom has an addiction. I read her excuse that she was outside with him. Well, she wasn't watching her child near a pool, she was watching something else she shouldn't have been watching. I wonder if she was so into tweeting whether she even heard him fall in. No excuse to be out there and not having moms EYES on the child, especially so close to the pool.

So sad. This child died needlessly. RIP little guy.

Apparantly, Mom had a gate around the pool and did not know her older child had opened it. Also, drowning babies are hardly ever heard, they fall in and go. Tweeting or not, she would not have heard him.

[Samiya]

Originally Posted by Shamrock

Thanks for the full story and for putting this into perspective for me. It changed my mind!

Believe me, you're welcome.

I saw so many hate posts on other sites that I was determined not to let our beloved Websleuthers get caught up with the Tsunami.

The title of this thread is an exact duplicate of the many headlines that have been written...just by that you can see how misleading and sensationalist the headlines are. The news headlines alone make Shellie look bad, which is why I looked into it further.

It only takes one moment in time for something to go wrong and we can only hope and pray that this never happens to us or any of our loved ones.

As for that Madison McGraw...she should keep her mouth firmly shut.

[southcitymom]

Originally Posted by Samiya

Believe me, you're welcome.

I saw so many hate posts on other sites that I was determined not to let our beloved Websleuthers get caught up with the Tsunami.

The title of this thread is an exact duplicate of the many headlines that have been written...just by that you can see how misleading and sensationalist the headlines are. The news headlines alone make Shellie look bad, which is why I looked into it further.

It only takes one moment in time for something to go wrong and we can only hope and pray that this never happens to us or any of our loved ones.

As for that Madison McGraw...she should keep her mouth firmly shut.

FWIW - I have asked that this thread be moved to Up to the Minute.

[Cubby]

Originally Posted by Samiya

With all the controversy surrounding this so far I have to chime in before it sets in here too.

Shellie was outside with both her sons when this happened. She was not twitting from a computer. Her oldest son unwittingly left the pool gate open (yes the pool was fenced) and her youngest wandered inside and we all know the outcome.

What not many news reports are saying is that Shellie performed CPR on her baby until paramedics arrived. The time the paramedics were called has been reported from one minute after her last post (within that minute his lungs would have been full of water resulting in a severe lack of oxygen to his brain) to 11 minutes after her last tweet. I do know that her son rang 911 while Shellie performed CPR on her baby.

While paramedics were working on her son, (which meant all she could do was stand and watch the rest of the event unfold) she twittered and asked for prayers from her followers. When you are alone and in despair and can do absolutely nothing about what is going on around you, you do tend to want to reach out to someone, anyone.

Ask yourself...How many Websleuthers have asked for prayers for loved ones? How many, unasked, offer prayers for the loved ones whose children are missing, for the parents of those who have died? How many Websleuthers have attended the memorials of those they don't know in support...again participating in prayers.

What Shellie did is no different. It doesn't make her a bad mother. How many parents are sitting online at a computer right now posting twits, facebooking or playing online games who can't even see their kids or what they're doing?

The headlines I see everywhere say she was twittering as her son was dying.

As for not hearing her son fall in the pool...the majority of parents whose kids drown in pools hear nothing. Pool drownings are silent killers. And couple that with thinking that your pool gate is shut, and no one has left it open, you're left with a very sad scenario that no one on this earth would dream of happening to them.

Some children do not even fall into the pool, they slide in if they were reaching over it and not a sound is heard.

This is what I have learned just from finding all current reports on Shellie's boy drowning. I don't know Shellie at all. I do know she has a husband, an 18 year old and her 11 year old.

If the police can investigate her twitters and deem them to have no standing in the death of her son, why can't anyone else?

My bolds. If my son were dying EVEN WHILE PARAMEDICS were working on him, I wouldn't be thinking about tweeting. I'd be as close as humanly possible to him without interfering with what the paramedics were doing. My family, and closest friends would come to mind before strangers reading my posts or tweets on the internet.

My father has a pool in his back yard. NEVER did I take my eyes off him while he was swimming. He's 7 and I still don't. Nor do any of us adults, leave him alone out in the back yard near the pool.

It's kind of common sense in many area's it is no longer legal to chat away on a cell phone while driving. Why would a parent bring electronics outside while watching their children?

My internet time is either while my son is at school, or after he is asleep at night. I was simply too busy watching him when he was 2. Their lighting bolts at that age.

Thread titles, or media titles of articles are a "marketing tool", to get people to read the article, buy the paper. I think it's a bit presumptuious (sp?) to assume everyone who reads the title of an article takes the title literally.

I still stand by my first post this mother spends too much time on the net, and sadly, it cost her son his life.

just saying.......

[2goldfish]

all I have to say is that this is exactly why I am a psycho mom who literally never lets the toddler out of her sight without another adult present to watch. yup, I am on here posting right now and baby is a foot away and I can see every move he makes.

why? because in two seconds of anything you're doing, they could slip away.

and amen to a misleading thread title :/ asking for prayers after an accident is nothing to be blasted over. I dont get why I am even hearing about this. my sympathies to the family.

[Cubby]

Originally Posted by mayfairlight

Apparantly, Mom had a gate around the pool and did not know her older child had opened it. Also, drowning babies are hardly ever heard, they fall in and go. Tweeting or not, she would not have heard him.

My bold. My point exactly. distraction, when small children are around pools. The electronics should have never been outside with mom while her young children were near a pool.

I wonder how long the gate had been opened that mom didn't notice it.

jmo

[mayfairlight]

Originally Posted by Cubby

My bold. My point exactly. distraction, when small children are around pools. The electronics should have never been outside with mom while her young children were near a pool.

I wonder how long the gate had been opened that mom didn't notice it.

jmo

My point too.
Just because she was "posting at Twitter" is no admittance of guilt she actually caused her poor child his death. I think I'm older than her, if I was younger maybe my only outlet of emotion too would be the same places where she is posting?

Calling her a "psycho mum" is evil, we don't know yet what actually happened.
So far to me it seems like a tragic accident. "Psycho mum"?? Hmm, in a few days maybe, after we have learned she was not even there for her child, ever... If anything ever happened to my kids, lets hope people at this board never finds out...

Don't ever want to be referred to as "psycho mom"...

[Cubby]

Originally Posted by mayfairlight

My point too.
Just because she was "posting at Twitter" is no admittance of guilt she actually caused her poor child his death. I think I'm older than her, if I was younger maybe my only outlet of emotion too would be the same places where she is posting?

Calling her a "psycho mum" is evil, we don't know yet what actually happened.
So far to me it seems like a tragic accident. "Psycho mum"?? Hmm, in a few days maybe, after we have learned she was not even there for her child, ever... If anything ever happened to my kids, lets hope people at this board never finds out...

Don't ever want to be referred to as "psycho mom"...

Where did I call her psycho mum and where did I say she caused her childs death? Isn't saying she was not there for her child, ever.. stretching it a bit?

[mayfairlight]

Cubby, I was replying to other messages with that quote, and to the general attitude of the subject. It was not directed at your post (which I very much agreed with) at all.
I can see this thread might very soon turn into a heated discussion about something I won't agree with and I'll just quietly leave before it does...

[not_my_kids]

I am at the head of any torch bearing mob that is after a true example of parental stupidity. But I don't see that here. She was hardly tweeting while he died, she was tweeting, then he died of an accidental drowning. The headline stating that these two things happened simultaneously is misleading, from what I have actually read.
While there were actions that she could be taking, she took them, but when she couldn't be actively helping her child, she reached out.

Also with this tweet, she may have been thinking that she would save herself hours of phone calls from the hospital later. This was a crisis, and some people react to huge amounts of stress, panic, adrenaline and fear in ways that seem incomprehensible.

My torch will stay unlit. This seems a senseless tragedy, but ultimately, an accident.

[Cubby]

Originally Posted by mayfairlight

Cubby, I was replying to other messages with that quote, and to the general attitude of the subject. It was not directed at your post (which I very much agreed with) at all.
I can see this thread might very soon turn into a heated discussion about something I won't agree with and I'll just quietly leave before it does...

thank you for your reply. The only place I read the words psycho mum here within this thread at WS was a poster refering to herself, not this mother.

I don't disagree this was a tragic accident. Imo, this was an accident that could have been avoided if this mother would not have included 'electronics' which caused her to not only be distracted that she missed noticing an older child left a gate open, but also missed her youngest child getting through the gate and falling into the pool. That, imo, doesn't happen in 2 seconds..... as was mentioned back there somewhere. Having come from a marketing and advertising background, the thread title isn't that offensive to me. (JMO)

The fact that something could happen that quickly, imo, is simply reason to leave the distractions away from the pool, while driving.... etc.

If nothing else, it should cause all of us to rethink those 'conveniences' we are used to having attached to our ear or at our finger tips. Especially as those are things we may not realize can cause us enough of a distraction our childrens safety is affected.

JMO respectfully.

[MomofBoys]

I actually don't have issue with the prayer request. She wanted prayers and it was a quick way to get a lot of them. I can't say that I would have thought to pick up my phone...I would have wanted to be with my son every second. But I can see that part.

The one I have a problem with is her "million dollar baby" post later. Unplug. Seriously. I get the internet. I run a fairly large website and I know what it's like to become almost like family with some of the people who interact with you regularly. But this does seem inappropriate. The Huffington Post story on this referenced a woman who Twittered about her miscarriage as it was occuring and said something like "Thank God, because it takes so long to have an abortion."

It's one thing to want to post your whole life online. It's another to assume people want to read it. People on Twitter probably knew about this child drowning before some of her family! Did she call the husband first, even? We have no way of knowing now, but to Tweet something so huge has ramifications beyond whether you or I or anyone else would Tweet about a fatal accident involving our CHILD.

I do think it's wrong, in a way that's hard to really explain. I know I wouldn't want to receive a Tweet like that, but I can't speak for anyone else. I also know that I would have shut down right after the death. I had to euthanize my horse a few years ago after a bad colic and I was devastated and numb. I can't even imagine what would happen after something like this.

[2goldfish]

Originally Posted by Cubby

thank you for your reply. The only place I read the words psycho mum here within this thread at WS was a poster refering to herself, not this mother.

I don't disagree this was a tragic accident. Imo, this was an accident that could have been avoided if this mother would not have included 'electronics' which caused her to not only be distracted that she missed noticing an older child left a gate open, but also missed her youngest child getting through the gate and falling into the pool. That, imo, doesn't happen in 2 seconds..... as was mentioned back there somewhere. Having come from a marketing and advertising background, the thread title isn't that offensive to me. (JMO)

The fact that something could happen that quickly, imo, is simply reason to leave the distractions away from the pool, while driving.... etc.

If nothing else, it should cause all of us to rethink those 'conveniences' we are used to having attached to our ear or at our finger tips. Especially as those are things we may not realize can cause us enough of a distraction our childrens safety is affected.

JMO respectfully.

yep, twas me. my mom wont let me live down to this day not letting my older son have sparklers on the 4th when he was three. sorry. I maybe overprotective but....

[sniperacer]

I will not address the Twitter issue during or after the child's death - I do not know the exact details. Except to say the internet would not be my first reaction if some harm came to my family.

My comments are more about watching children. IMO, if she wasn't Twittering, she would have been doing something else (maybe WebSleuthing). There is not parent on earth that has not let their child out of sight for a minute or two. For example, answering the phone, personal bathroom time, checking on cooking, answering the doorbell, ..... And kids can get into things quick. IMO, you need to child proof the deadly areas better.

In this case, have a child proof lock on the pool gate - JUST LIKE THEY SAY YOU SHOULD. In the days before pool gates, I had a sliding glass door lock on the TOP of the door.

Parents need to be smarter than kids. Nuff' said.

[LaLaw2000]

About 6 years ago I belonged to a forum that was quite different from this one as it did not really have anything to do with missing children or adults, or even crime. There was this other member who was online in the forum and was continually posting about her children and her posts were maybe 3 minutes apart and continued all day long. She was always speaking of the negative things that were happening in her life and about how her children were always having accidents because they were just accident prone. This went on and on until a poster was banned because they out and out accused the mother of constantly being on the computer and not watching her children. This forum was actually a small support group, and shut down not long after because it got so ugly.

I am from the old school. I believe in watching your children every moment they are outside. If you are reading tweets and tweeting as much as this woman was (yes, I have read the whole story), then you have time for little else. I do not like this womans' actions in this. I think she was wrong and I do not apologize for my thoughts amd opinions on it.

I am a grandmother and do not have small children or even children in the home. That is why I am on WS so much. I enjoy it very much but would not be here right now if I were watching small children. And, of course, being a grandmother, I am much older than almost all of the people who tweet or post with this mother. I think she pretty much lived on the forum and lived for tweeting when she should have been watching her children much more closely!

Just my opinion!