Discreet online source(s) for background check on a family member

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msboo

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Need to check background on a close family member. I just want information available to stay informed of suspicions I’ve had which most all have been correct in the past. Has gone from job to job entire life, always needs money, etc. We suspect drug use but alcohol/partying has been always been in the picture. This person is calculating, devious & down right nasty when not getting their way.... meaning money needed at the time. One family member has continuously given in to this person, therefore the life long cycle. My husband & I do not participate in supporting this person but they continue to try to get money when desperate. Want to know of an online source that’s safe, accurate as possible AND keeps my identity discreet. Question: do people know when someone does a background check, other than an obvious prospective workplace?
 
Thnx Laughing. Will try that. I’ve gone thru what I can access publicly. Florida, for example, makes more public info available—one can find most everything. Not so in my state. I’m just not sure about these online sites like TruthFinder, Verified etc. I don’t mind paying a fee, none are that high.
 
There is an on-line list of Registered Sex Offenders for your state, might be worthwhile to check that.

Keep spelling & nicknames in mind

Try Topix for communities this person has lived
 
Asking again, for more input OR if I should post my question elsewhere. Any more ideas or experiences as to discreet & trusted online source? So far BeenVerified has been recommened.
 
Can you access court dockets and search those, if you haven’t already?

You might consider filing a FOIA request if the files aren’t available online.

FOIA.gov - Freedom of Information Act: How to make a FOIA request

And/or if you’re close to a county courthouse, they might be able to help you search in person if the records aren’t digitized. You wouldn’t need an FOIA request to do that.
 
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You also could ask for legal advice on the best way to legally and discreetly search for info in your state. Lawyers and clerks search that type of info regularly.

Reddit has a decent sub for doing that — /legaladvice.

They can be kinda salty, but it’s Reddit. Everyone’s salty there. ;) Be honest and nice, with a good sense of self-deprecating humor and you’ll be aces.

Good luck to you!
 
You might also be able to call the non-emergency police number in your area, saying you’re a relative, you’re concerned for yourself and family — avoid personalizing (I hate the guy, he’s a loser, whatever ... you don’t wanna sound like it’s a vendetta) — and just ask if the person has any wants or warrants, and if so, what they’re for. (ETA: Your family member might have a history of fraud, theft or identity theft if they’re regularly “in a pinch” for fast cash.)

They might not be allowed to help you due to certain regulations, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. The worst they can say is that they aren’t allowed answer your question!

You might also ask them for resources. There might be a website or resource that’s not obvious that they can point you to.
 
Oh, and to answer a question in your first post, the person won’t know if you’ve run a background check.

Sometimes, if a company does a credit check, the company’s name might show up on a detailed credit bureau report — but it doesn’t say why or who asked for the credit check. (Credit card companies do this for pre-approved credit offers, for example.) So, unless your relative checks their own credit reports every few months or so, they won’t have a clue it was done. Even if they do check, they won’t know who requested it or why.
 
Thanks, EuTuCroquet, for your input! I’ve looked up what’s available in our local county Gov public records regarding more current/ongoing court appearances. That's about all I can tap into as far as ‘public’ info goes where we live. That alone tells me the ‘same ole-same ole’ behavior continues. After a 2014 DUI, DWI, while driving on a suspended license, no auto ins, expired plates, & various other initial small charges... I check from time to time thru that one source. I’ve been following her on-going upcoming court appearances again since last Fall—seems to go on & on with what may be her continuing to not obtain insurance. Must have been pulled over for no rear view mirror, later ‘disregarding a stop sign’. Anyway, it’s somewhat silly stuff like that BUT that’s a big indicator of irresponsibility coupled with ongoing job changes & asking for help NEVER outright asking for MONEY like we’re stupid. She’s used to getting her way with her mom who now has memory issues therefore the step-dad has closed the bank door. She stays angry with us since we’ve never complied yet at times still makes an over-the-top ‘friendly’ call, wanting to ‘talk’—other than that we don’t hear from her AT ALL, only when wants/needs money. Most recent call was after no communication for 3yrs. I follow my gut, suspicions are usually confirmed BUT always good to have info to help staying ‘in the know’. Sorry long-winded here. While I put nothing past the 50 yr old ‘child’, so far all has been irresponsible, stupid crap but one never knows. We know there’s is alcohol & partying but also suspect drugs.
 
Sounds like you have solid background on her. Good call to protect Mom by keeping her away from the finances if she has memory issues.

I’m sorry her ongoing behavior causes so much stress for you and your family.

If your parents are aging, as you said your mom has some memory issues, it might be good to look into discussing power of attorney with Mom and Stepdad. If your problem family member is seen as the one who needs the most help and/is not self-sufficient, they might wreak havoc on your parent’s finances if they somehow manage to get access to their money.

While you can’t control her or her actions, you can protect yourself. As she gets older and her “resources” dwindle or are cut off, financial and otherwise, she may become more desperate. It’s good your parents are protecting their resources.

Knowledge is power. You might want to regularly check your own credit report, and urge your stepdad to check theirs, in case she manages to take out loans or credit in their names. I don’t know if she would ever do that, and I mean no offense with my suggestion.
 
Hey EuTuCroquet.... sorry for the confusion. The Mom is my husband’s remarried ex-wife, her husband is the step-dad. We’ve always gotten along like family. The ex just never could say no to her (& my husband’s) daughter, would always regret giving in only to continue doing so. Our relationship with my step-daughter has always been tedious, as we always saw through her intentions at those times. My husband, her Dad, helped over the years in constructive ways AND gave her some money at certain times—he eventually stopped yrs ago. I was always up front with her, never got angry with her deceptive attempts... just didn’t ‘buy it’. When she wasn’t ‘stirring the pot’ all would be well. A few yrs ago she quit attending our holiday get togethers one by one... yada-yada-yada. It is what it is. My husband now has some health issues so we’re extremely careful & stay on top of things. I do have POA & have always been aware as I was a fraud victim in the early 90s—small potatoes vs horrible stuff seen in news & on tv BUT scary non the less. I’m suspicious when I shouldn’t be, LOL, but it pays to stay on your toes!
 
Got to be careful with background checks. The good pro sites are strictly for employment therefore who you’re checking on is notified—they must be compliant. That’s appropriate for a potential employee BUT not if one is wanting to check the basic goings on of a troublesome family member. Doing that, you want discretion.
 
msboo said:
I do have POA & have always been aware as I was a fraud victim in the early 90s—small potatoes vs horrible stuff seen in news & on tv BUT scary non the less. I’m suspicious when I shouldn’t be, LOL, but it pays to stay on your toes!
Click to expand...

rsff

Ah, thank makes sense! Thank you for clarifying. :)

And you’re very smart to stay on your toes — it’s not acting “suspicious” on your part, imo. You’re alert and aware.

And I’m relieved you have POA, too. You’re on top of it. You’ve got this!
 
MimosaMornings said:
Does your daughter in law live with her mom and step dad?
And are you just wanting to know what she’s up to or worried mom/stepdad are being used at an escalating rate?
Click to expand...
Please read my my post & comments above.... the person I’m considering for a background check is my step-daughter. This involves my husband, myself, my husband’s ex and her husband. My step-daughter is the adult child of my husband and his ex. We all get along, always have.
My husband and myself are aware when things are suspicious—the ex is not, her husband is now caring for her as she has serious memory issues.
My request for a good/trusted site for background checks stems from my wanting to confirm my suspicions if & when needed. We now don’t communicate with my step-daughter, only getting bits & pieces at times. I wondered if some fellow Sleuths here have had good or bad experiences with any of these sites. One member above did recommend BeenVerified. Just wondered about any other sites good or bad.
 
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