SC - Mica Miller, 30 yr old Found Deceased - Pastors Wife's Death Being Investigated, May 2024

[JerseyWasHome2]

Just my opinion, but I think many factors come into play here that may distinguish between grooming, or instead a healthy Sunday school teacher relationship.

Was Mica just one more kid in his class? Or did he pay her extra attention, did he ask her to wait after class without others around? Did he buy her things? Did he tell her to keep anything secret? Did he talk to her only about the Bible or did he tell her inappropriate things, like how pretty she was?

Clearly she caught his eye later when she was also married, but we don’t know when that seed was planted.

Maybe her family knows the answers.

I taught 8th grade for 25 years, so most of my adult life was spent with 13 and 14-year olds, and the occasional 15-year old.

Kids used to ask me to attend their basketball games after school, or softball games, or various other activities.

I would not do that unless I had a note from their parents saying that they wanted me to do so, and I’d rather sit with the parents when I was cheering for them.

Even in school, if we needed to talk to a student privately, we kept our door open and if it was a major issue we would have the guidance counselor or assistant principal with us.

So I am judgmental when anyone with authority over children does not take steps to assure propriety.

IMO and IME.

That's a really excellent point! I think we can all jump to nefarious conclusions here but sometimes/often forget about natural relationships as well.

 

[Ontario Mom]

The grooming claim came from the fact that he, a 28 year old in a position of power (youth pastor) was “friends” with a 14 year old. He eventually married her. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what was happening. Grown men are not “friends” with young teenagers. This is textbook grooming.

Respectfully disagree that what you describe is textbook grooming.

 

[hparker36]

That's a really excellent point! I think we can all jump to nefarious conclusions here but sometimes/often forget about natural relationships as well.

I don't think there was a whole lot of proprietary anything going on this scenario.

 

[Warwick7]

Oh, I think he should lay it all out there. Tell the congregation about how he slashed his wife's tires, how he stalked her and erased her phone. Tell about how she had to go into hiding and finally she served him with divorce papers. Tell them about his extra marital liaisons, and how his abuse lead to her death.

Except he won't. Surely he'll speak only of an alternate reality.

Bam!! That's right!
I'm waiting, now, patiently for the civil case!

 

[Ontario Mom]

Since it looks like what it most likely was -- a suicide, why would he need one ?
The divorce will not happen, and as he was still married to Mica at the time of her death --all of her assets would be his.
Unless there's another cause for JPM to be alarmed ?
The family of Mica may file a civil suit, so maybe that's the reason he's hired a lawyer.
Omo.

Eta : It IS interesting. Makes one wonder about the reason for taking this action.
Speculating ... possible having to do with financial reason in relation to the church ?

When my husband died, I needed all sorts of things taken care of that I had no idea how to take care of, legally. It was a complicated legal mess for various reasons. I've been told it's fairly common.

This guy seems to have all sorts of things going on with personal & church issues so, it makes sense he'd have a lawyer.
And, if her family can legally document that he drove her to this tragic end, then he's going to need one.

jmo

 

[scapa]

Just my opinion, but I think many factors come into play here that may distinguish between grooming, or instead a healthy Sunday school teacher relationship.

Was Mica just one more kid in his class? Or did he pay her extra attention, did he ask her to wait after class without others around? Did he buy her things? Did he tell her to keep anything secret? Did he talk to her only about the Bible or did he tell her inappropriate things, like how pretty she was?

Clearly she caught his eye later when she was also married, but we don’t know when that seed was planted.

Maybe her family knows the answers.

I taught 8th grade for 25 years, so most of my adult life was spent with 13 and 14-year olds, and the occasional 15-year old.

Kids used to ask me to attend their basketball games after school, or softball games, or various other activities.

I would not do that unless I had a note from their parents saying that they wanted me to do so, and I’d rather sit with the parents when I was cheering for them.

Even in school, if we needed to talk to a student privately, we kept our door open and if it was a major issue we would have the guidance counselor or assistant principal with us.

So I am judgmental when anyone with authority over children does not take steps to assure propriety.

IMO and IME.

Excellent post.

As a uni prof, I also take steps to maintain a cordial distance from undergrad and postgrad students -- especially if in distress, which is not uncommon with my medical students.

For me, the key here is the power differential between pastor and youth group member who eventually becomes wife and stepmother. Many here are familiar with the potential paths and costs of such a differential, perhaps even more marked in a faith community where he seems to have functioned as a charismatic leader in control of the direction of his church, with few external checks.

Hopefully there will be an investigation and more will be revealed.

And in the meantime, may his congregants keep a tight hold on their hearts and wallets.

 

[Warwick7]

I think it's possible the decision to release it was based on the rampant social media rumors and gossip.
I can't say for sure of course, and don't plan to listen to it.
I agree with you though, the description of her movements that day was more than enough.

I just don't think I can. I just got back to WS, I don't want this to trigger me to take another break.

 

[Warwick7]

I’m way behind as you can see. But other than his statements in the YouTube video of him announcing her death, is it supported that Mica had a history of suicidal ideation or mental illness?

ETA: Ah. I see there was an indication.

No, so far just her husband saying it.

 

[Ontario Mom]

I just don't think I can. I just got back to WS, I don't want this to trigger me to take another break.

I did end up listening, but not really intentionally.
Scrolling through the pics in the FB post the last one indicated video but it was the audio call that played automatically.
It didn't trigger me but I know something like that can for lots of people.

 

[AugustWest]

The 9-1-1 call should not be made available to anyone but members of her immediate family that may ask to hear it. Anyone posting it for the public to hear is just looking for clicks, and they will not get one from me. JMO

I'm shocked they are releasing it. I think the breakdown of her movements that day and a description of what she said is quite enough, especially if the family members heard it. Seems like a hasty decision they may regret someday!

North Carolina treats 911 calls as public records, and thus must be released to the public. It is what it is.

Types of Public Records | NCDIT

NCDIT is only responsible for its own records and does not have access to records of other state departments and agencies.

it.nc.gov

ETA: not listening, she deserves dignity

 

[TTF14]

Drowning doesn't always look like drowning. We've all heard this saying, right?

Grooming doesn't always look like grooming.

 

[Warwick7]

I hope the jerk who convinced her to kill herself will be facing criminal charges.

JMO

Yes, Bam!!
There is still so much going on that she endured. Can you imagine what the police officer is feeling right now? The one who helped her and threatened the stalking male, that if he continues to proceed then warrants may possibly be written up?
It's all so sad....
Waiting patiently for the civil suit to start.

 

[arielilane]

An extremely sad outcome. Rest easy, MM.



If you or someone you know is struggling, you can call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 9-8-8. It's available in English or Spanish 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

 

[bestill]

I listened to it, she was very calm. Clearly determined from the moment she left her residence. She looked to me like she was smiling at the register at Dick's Pawn Shop. Not emotional at all.

I want to know what happened the day and night before she arrived at her condo, prior to 11:00am. Has she started some new medication? Did something at work happen?

So many questions yet to be answered and I hope her family will get them.

 

[Sundog]

I'll still sit on my hands for awhile. He may not have pulled the trigger but he is in no way an innocent party in all this. Telling her business and the way he has disparaged her... I hope she is at peace and his life is laid bare and judged for all to see. Sadly I think his 'followers' are sheep and will martyr him now.

His "followers" are victims, too.

 

[Chimera]

Oh, I think he should lay it all out there. Tell the congregation about how he slashed his wife's tires, how he stalked her and erased her phone. Tell about how she had to go into hiding and finally she served him with divorce papers. Tell them about his extra marital liaisons, and how his abuse lead to her death.

Except he won't. Surely he'll speak only of an alternate reality.

Bbm.
It sounds from this link he wants to be transparent, so there's that ?
Actions do speak louder than words, though.
Omo.

Death of SC pastor’s wife was announced to the congregation. Her story has gone national

The pastor of a Market Common church announced his wife’s death to the congregation, pointing to her mental health issues. Her family has taken to social media to shed doubt on the cause.

ca.news.yahoo.com

Miller said he is glad that the sheriff’s department is investigating his wife’s death.

“I want them to find out every detail,” Miller said. “I want to know everything, every detail.”

 

[gitana1]

North Carolina treats 911 calls as public records, and thus must be released to the public. It is what it is.

Types of Public Records | NCDIT

NCDIT is only responsible for its own records and does not have access to records of other state departments and agencies.

it.nc.gov

ETA: not listening, she deserves dignity

I listened to it. It was very straightforward and other than her statement of intent, there wasn't much to it. Her tone was fairly even. Steadfast.

Very sad case.

 

[Sundog]

Some new detail here. Worth the read, IMO.

I feel for the people who were inadvertently involved in Mica's suicide, such as the person who sold her the gun, the gas station and grocery store employees were she stopped on the way to the park, the 911 dispatcher, LE who were inolved in the search and that found Mica, and the fisherman and other individuals who were at the state park on that Saturday afternoon.

 

[Chimera]

I listened to it, she was very calm. Clearly determined from the moment she left her residence. She looked to me like she was smiling at the register at Dick's Pawn Shop. Not emotional at all.

I want to know what happened the day and night before she arrived at her condo, prior to 11:00am. Has she started some new medication? Did something at work happen?

So many questions yet to be answered and I hope her family will get them.

Good questions.
I also want to know what her phone records say.
Calls ?
Texts ?
Etc.
Omo.

 

[gitana1]

Oh, I think he should lay it all out there. Tell the congregation about how he slashed his wife's tires, how he stalked her and erased her phone. Tell about how she had to go into hiding and finally she served him with divorce papers. Tell them about his extra marital liaisons, and how his abuse lead to her death.

Except he won't. Surely he'll speak only of an alternate reality.

Oh my gosh. All that happened?