My first and favorite theory has been that a woman left totally independently of Ray but was very involved with him and is with him now.
She could have left first, not second.
She may have never set foot in PA. He had a life before PA.
I think it is short- sighted to ONLY look at women in PA. She could have lived anywhere in any country. People DO re-unite via the Internet after 20-30 or more years apart and resume very significant romances long distance until they can be together.
I have always felt that the woman would have been totally unattached: She had a career that was moble ( such as a nurse, for example), she had no close family, no children, and could easily say she was transferring to another state for any reason or NO reason. I did it, so do many other nurses.
But, I really did go to another state. In our case with the lover, she left the USA. Had her own source of income or is independently wealthy ( not from a nursing career most likely- that was just an example of a career which gives a lot of leeway on " tranfering" to another place.
There could be as much as 5 years difference in the dates of leave- taking between the two. I believe the woman went first because of Ray's work and because of loose ends with Patty. Maybe he never intended for this to happen. Maybe he thought he could reconnect with an old lover from OH with no harm to anyone, but love developed.
It happens. I know it does. It's happened to me. .. in the past. And now, if the same thing happened, I'd go. I'd totally leave and go to the person I wanted to be with, even if it meant laying low in a foreign country for a few years or changing my name or having no contact with anyone I'd ever known except this lover. Who in our case would be Ray Gricar.
Maybe Ray's case has taught some of us things we never expected to know or feel.