VA - Anjelica "AJ" Hadsell, 18, Norfolk, 3 March 2015 #16

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I'm shocked about the obit.


Shocked.


How could you list WH when.......


My heart broke into a zillion more pieces for Zach.
 
OT--This is a reminder for those interested that Jodi Arias will be sentenced today for the murder of Travis Alexander. This case brought me to WS and she grew up not far from me and spent time in our town, so I am happy to see this end after almost seven years.

Since two juries deadlocked on the death penalty, Judge Stephens has two options: Life without parole, or life with the possibility of parole in 25 years.

http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sh...ns-on-Formal-Sentencing-Hearing-Jodi-Arias-11

The proceedings will be live streamed starting at 8:30 a.m. in Arizona which is currently the same as PDT.

Here are links to the live feed.

http://www.abc15.com/live?hc_location=ufi

http://www.fox10phoenix.com

http://www.thegoldpatrol.com/jodi-arias-trial.html

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=s8LfNalzddw
 
Fortbold said:
I understand that everyone is upset about WH being named in the obituary. But can you imagine the implications if he had not been mentioned at all? I think JH has to be VERY careful about weighing in on WH's guilt or innocence until WH is officially named a POI. And while I appreciate WHS's honesty about how she feels, I don't think LE or the family appreciated that public declaration. If WH is guilty, LE doesn't want anything written or said that WH could potentially use to claim unfair prosecution.
Click to expand...

Then why not hold off on the obit or do a very minimalist obit? The fact that this obit was done seems very pointed.
 
Lamima said:
Then why not hold off on the obit or do a very minimalist obit? The fact that this obit was done seems very pointed.
Click to expand...

Obituaries are published before funerals. I think that a minimalist obituary - or no obituary at all - would have caused an uproar. It would seem as if no one cared she was gone.
 
Lamima said:
Then why not hold off on the obit or do a very minimalist obit? The fact that this obit was done seems very pointed.
Click to expand...

I tend to agree. to include somebody who has yet to be cleared of involvement in her death seems inappropriate at best. It's definitely not something you do to just not raise eyebrows. I see it as you either wait on the obit or you leave certain people out. It's feels so fast to me. I understand and am not judging but the baseball game, obituary & memorial service seem so so rushed. I do understand the need to keep moving and keep positive for those that loved her it was just something I've noticed. MOO
 
if you know drug addicts like I do especially stimulate drug addicts it isn't hard to see a motive here. It pains me to say it but it is what it is. No excuse no reason to a non addict or reasonably thinking person but I've been down that road with an ex and it just feels clear to me what has happened here. JMO
 
Recently, to try to maintain some objectivity, I have analyzed the behavior of the main cast of characters. I wanted to try to find plausible reasons why certain actions were done, and perhaps why I might be focusing too much on one outcome.

The one thing I keep thinking that helps me come to a basic understanding of the H family's behavior is the 5 stages of grief. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance are the typical stages one goes through when experiencing grief or loss. They do not occur in any particular order and certainly can be experienced differently from one person to the next.

It would appear they have been cycling through the first four and unable to reach acceptance. Honestly, maintaining the bare minimum of what is considered sane in a situation like this must be difficult. Their daughter missing, the denial about the eventual outcome and who might be responsible appeared to be constantly with them. While WH seemed certain something bad happened, the rest seemed less inclined to entertain that thought.

Anger towards those who would question the family's behavior was one of the more obvious stages exhibited. Examples are seen in JH's public outrage with WTKR, KH's interview on GMA blasting police, friends of AJ in constant social media battles, and WH's distain towards those who would question his past and his reckless manner of accusing others.

Avoiding feelings of helplessness and vulnerability while trying to maintain control are linked to the bargaining phase. In an odd way, WH's b&e could be seen as a way to try and take control. "I'll find who took her, I'll bring her home." The fundraising and constant posting of other missing person flyers fit here as well. "I'll help others and perhaps I'll be rewarded with a positive outcome."

And finally comes depression. I would imagine it is the buffer between the other 3 stages in this case. Anger brings Despair...which brings Denial...which brings more despair...which brings bargaining and so on in no particular order.

This is my opinion. Honestly I am not sold on what I just wrote, but I wanted a counter argument to the theory that most of us subscribe to. I was not seeing a viable explanation in any posts so I challenged myself to find a legitimate way to explain lots of questionable behavior. Not everyone is brought up in a supportive and nurturing environment that can help a person to cultivate the mental strength required to experience these stages in a healthy manner. That variable makes it (at the very least) possible that all this weird behavior is just a family trying to grieve.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/000617

For the sake of brevity I focused on their behavior prior to AJ being found and left out his sister entirely.
 
Shelby1 said:
I'm shocked about the obit.


Shocked.


How could you list WH when.......


My heart broke into a zillion more pieces for Zach.
Click to expand...

I've written and deleted countless posts over the past week or so. I have been utterly amazed at the eloquence of my fellow WSers as you have addressed every concern that has come across the thread, especially where ((((Zach))))has been concerned. You make me proud to be a :websleuther:
:tyou: all!

I've been sitting on me hands, but I have to come out of :lurk: mode to say this. The whole debacle (IMO that's what it is) regarding the obituary, is deeply sad and utterly disrespectful to me. IMV, it is (another) example of the "adults" leveraging AJ as a pawn of power and control. After reading Mountain_Kat's posts (and others I can't recall at the moment, my apologies), I have to agree that this dynamic has likely happened before.
This cycle is / was abusive, but it was the life they were (and are) accustomed to. It was the norm, until it became irreparably destabilized. And now, we are here, in the wake of this destruction. :moo:
Once a child becomes an adult, they are no longer so receptive to being a pawn in anyone's game. I hope I am wrong, but my training and life experiences tell me this may be a big part of what led up to AJ's demise :rose:
I am SO angered that the dynamic continues, with AJ's voice forever silenced. It requires the parties who have been wronged to "turn the other cheek" or worse, engage in negativity. It's a catch-22 when one is in mourning. The passive-aggressiveness cannot be denied.
Justice will be done, in all aspects of this case. I absolutely believe the light of truth will shine into the deepest corners of evil, revealing all.
Until then, I send continued prayers and strength to Zach. I can't help but have faith that these wrongs will be righted. I keep hearing this quote in my head and in my heart, so I'm posting it here:
"No weapon formed against you shall remain."
I believe this with all my heart, Zach, and we will stand by you to see this through.
May #JusticeForAJ be all encompassing...
Because it's your justice too
:grouphug:
:floating:

This post is entirely :moo:

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
The family (and some family friends) seem to be mired in anger, resentment and intimidation so I guess it isn't surprising that they continue to act as they do. Repurcussions forthcoming to the media, air horns and subtle threats on SM all appear to be part of the dynamic. I'm sorry they couldn't put those feelings aside temporarily in order to pay respect to AJ's memory. It's also distressing to see the ongoing pleas for money. But it is what it is and I think they aren't self-aware enough to realize how they look to others. Or maybe they just don't care. I don't know.

Thinking out loud here for a bit... If WH was just a regular guy with no criminal history I'd probably still start my sleuthing on family and close friends. After that I'd look at acquaintances and new friends. If that yielded nothing then I'd look at a stranger abduction. Problem is that WH put himself in the spotlight almost immediately and that's hard to ignore but if he hadn't, where would we go next?

I'm more familiar with cases of missing little ones and not so much with missing teens. Adding in the element that teens move about freely as opposed to small children who are in the care of adults really complicates things for me. AJ could have gone anywhere with anyone on March 2.

I find it odd that she would text her sister that she was with "friends" rather than name who she was with. Does that mean the text came from her and she was with someone who's unfamiliar to the sister or did someone else send the text? Was she trying to hide something, like a new romantic interest that she didn't want to tell her boyfriend about? And the minivan. The first thought I had was that minivans are vehicles owned by families. I don't know if that's actually true, it just struck me that way.

These thoughts would point me in the direction of possibly a neighbor or friend who had designs on AJ. Or maybe a family man. Sigh. If WH is not involved in AJ's death then all I can say is that he's right where he belongs. How dare someone who professed to love AJ intentionally use up precious LE time and take the focus away from her. And shame on others who may not have broken the law but are more interested in themselves and their wants than the loss of a beautiful child.

Sorry for rambling.
 
Fortbold said:
Obituaries are published before funerals. I think that a minimalist obituary - or no obituary at all - would have caused an uproar. It would seem as if no one cared she was gone.
Click to expand...

I'm still getting that feeling.
 
221bBakerStreet said:
Recently, to try to maintain some objectivity, I have analyzed the behavior of the main cast of characters. I wanted to try to find plausible reasons why certain actions were done, and perhaps why I might be focusing too much on one outcome.

The one thing I keep thinking that helps me come to a basic understanding of the H family's behavior is the 5 stages of grief. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance are the typical stages one goes through when experiencing grief or loss. They do not occur in any particular order and certainly can be experienced differently from one person to the next.

It would appear they have been cycling through the first four and unable to reach acceptance. Honestly, maintaining the bare minimum of what is considered sane in a situation like this must be difficult. Their daughter missing, the denial about the eventual outcome and who might be responsible appeared to be constantly with them. While WH seemed certain something bad happened, the rest seemed less inclined to entertain that thought.

Anger towards those who would question the family's behavior was one of the more obvious stages exhibited. Examples are seen in JH's public outrage with WTKR, KH's interview on GMA blasting police, friends of AJ in constant social media battles, and WH's distain towards those who would question his past and his reckless manner of accusing others.

Avoiding feelings of helplessness and vulnerability while trying to maintain control are linked to the bargaining phase. In an odd way, WH's b&e could be seen as a way to try and take control. "I'll find who took her, I'll bring her home." The fundraising and constant posting of other missing person flyers fit here as well. "I'll help others and perhaps I'll be rewarded with a positive outcome."

And finally comes depression. I would imagine it is the buffer between the other 3 stages in this case. Anger brings Despair...which brings Denial...which brings more despair...which brings bargaining and so on in no particular order.

This is my opinion. Honestly I am not sold on what I just wrote, but I wanted a counter argument to the theory that most of us subscribe to. I was not seeing a viable explanation in any posts so I challenged myself to find a legitimate way to explain lots of questionable behavior. Not everyone is brought up in a supportive and nurturing environment that can help a person to cultivate the mental strength required to experience these stages in a healthy manner. That variable makes it (at the very least) possible that all this weird behavior is just a family trying to grieve.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/000617

For the sake of brevity I focused on their behavior prior to AJ being found and left out his sister entirely.
Click to expand...

This is the lens that I have been viewing them through. IMO, a lot of the behavior can be explained this way. If you are the mom, and you allow yourself to believe your spouse was involved or someone else in your close circle, then you cannot help but blame yourself for them entering the picture at all. So it is self-preservation to stay in denial, and to attack anyone that threatens it. Given time and irrefutable evidence, hopefully she'll come around. But I don't think being attacked for working through these stages is going to bring her out of it.
 
pittie_mcclure said:
I tend to agree. to include somebody who has yet to be cleared of involvement in her death seems inappropriate at best. It's definitely not something you do to just not raise eyebrows. I see it as you either wait on the obit or you leave certain people out. It's feels so fast to me. I understand and am not judging but the baseball game, obituary & memorial service seem so so rushed. I do understand the need to keep moving and keep positive for those that loved her it was just something I've noticed. MOO
Click to expand...
In their defense, the two young women who planned the softball game originally set it up as a fundraiser in support of #bringajhome a couple of weeks ago. So it was already well in the works when AJ was found and then it was transformed into a memorial game/burial expense fundraiser.
 
Vail said:
IMO the obituary was a bit soon. It shouldn't have been written until the ME report comes back.
Click to expand...

Sometimes that can take months or a year. Personal experience.
 
Lamima said:
Then why not hold off on the obit or do a very minimalist obit? The fact that this obit was done seems very pointed.
Click to expand...

Some people don't even write an obit for various reasons.
 
Lilibet said:
OT--This is a reminder for those interested that Jodi Arias will be sentenced today for the murder of Travis Alexander. This case brought me to WS and she grew up not far from me and spent time in our town, so I am happy to see this end after almost seven years.

Since two juries deadlocked on the death penalty, Judge Stephens has two options: Life without parole, or life with the possibility of parole in 25 years.

http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sh...ns-on-Formal-Sentencing-Hearing-Jodi-Arias-11

The proceedings will be live streamed starting at 8:30 a.m. in Arizona which is currently the same as PDT.
Click to expand...

Thank you SO much for the reminder! I didn't want to miss it but had completely forgotten until I saw your post!!
 
Even though not required, motive may need needed in this case for a jury to understand, Imo, especially if COD is questionable and it is too late to determine if a sexual assault took place...jmo
 
Hoosgirl said:
In their defense, the two young women who planned the softball game originally set it up as a fundraiser in support of #bringajhome a couple of weeks ago. So it was already well in the works when AJ was found and then it was transformed into a memorial game/burial expense fundraiser.
Click to expand...

It was a beautiful gesture by them, for sure. Thanks for clarifying for me!
 
MsMarple said:
The family (and some family friends) seem to be mired in anger, resentment and intimidation so I guess it isn't surprising that they continue to act as they do. Repurcussions forthcoming to the media, air horns and subtle threats on SM all appear to be part of the dynamic. I'm sorry they couldn't put those feelings aside temporarily in order to pay respect to AJ's memory. It's also distressing to see the ongoing pleas for money. But it is what it is and I think they aren't self-aware enough to realize how they look to others. Or maybe they just don't care. I don't know.

Thinking out loud here for a bit... If WH was just a regular guy with no criminal history I'd probably still start my sleuthing on family and close friends. After that I'd look at acquaintances and new friends. If that yielded nothing then I'd look at a stranger abduction. Problem is that WH put himself in the spotlight almost immediately and that's hard to ignore but if he hadn't, where would we go next?

I'm more familiar with cases of missing little ones and not so much with missing teens. Adding in the element that teens move about freely as opposed to small children who are in the care of adults really complicates things for me. AJ could have gone anywhere with anyone on March 3.

I find it odd that she would text her sister that she was with "friends" rather than name who she was with. Does that mean the text came from her and she was with someone who's unfamiliar to the sister or did someone else send the text? Was she trying to hide something, like a new romantic interest that she didn't want to tell her boyfriend about? And the minivan. The first thought I had was that minivans are vehicles owned by families. I don't know if that's actually true, it just struck me that way.

These thoughts would point me in the direction of possibly a neighbor or friend who had designs on AJ. Or maybe a family man. Sigh. If WH is not involved in AJ's death then all I can say is that he's right where he belongs. How dare someone who professed to love AJ intentionally use up precious LE time and take the focus away from her. And shame on others who may not have broken the law but are more interested in themselves and their wants than the loss of a beautiful child.

Sorry for rambling.
Click to expand...

If we are going to explore other possible suspects, I think Margarita's awareness space article is crucial to deciding the next likeliest suspect.
http://www.boulderweekly.com/articl...ss-lsawareness-spacers-may-lead-to-clues.html

The two locations we know for certain are AJ's home and the house in Southampton. According to geographic profiling/awareness space, the perp will be very familiar with these locations. Familiar enough that they are comfortable being there and that they would be undisturbed as they go about the "business."

We are lucky in that these places are so distant from each other that many people are unlikely just to happen to know both places intimately. Looking at AJ's circle, the next best suspect may be someone WH works with, if he was working on a big project in Franklin that required multiple individuals.

Another possible avenue, though it might be more of a stretch is someone who is familiar with both VA and NC, since the location found was close to the border. There does happen to be such an individual within the circle.
 
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