If you suspect child abuse, call. Always call. Never think that you're overreacting or that you're reading too much into something or that someone else will do it. When I became an adult and started reconnecting with long-estranged family members and family friends, I can't even tell you how many of them told me, "Well, we always suspected something was wrong, but ..." BUT. But doesn't help the children living in hell! BUT doesn't save lives. BUT doesn't help anyone. While you're mulling over your worries and concerns about your own time and reputation, babies are dying, children are being molested, kids are living in utter squalor.
I know I'm preaching to the choir.
I bolded part of pepelepolecat's post above. A few years ago, I posted down in the jury room asking for opinions on whether or not I should call CPS on my neighbor (my mind had already been pretty much made up, but I was hoping for support). I was HUGELY surprised, given what this forum is, at the number of people who told me I shouldn't, that CPS ruins lives, etc., etc.
Very quick backstory--having worked with CPS before (I used to represent parents, and sometimes kids, in CHIPS cases, also did a lot of family law), I knew that what I had to report would likely be screened out (my state's system doesn't deal well with verbal/emotional abuse), but I thought that if there were other borderline reports from, say, the school, maybe it would become actionable. The couple that lived next to me (white) had a little boy together, and the mom had an older, bi-racial daughter. That poor, beautiful girl was singled out for TERRIBLE verbal abuse. The things that mom said to her daughter were just heartbreaking. That, combined with the constant, daily, loud, horrible arguments between the parents (by this time dad had moved out, but I still got to listen to mom scream at him over the phone daily), finally pushed me to the point where I HAD to call. When I did, I ended up breaking down and crying into the phone while I was talking to the intake worker.
When I posted that I had called, I had people still tell me I was wrong. And remember--I used to represent some really bad parents (also some really good ones), had lots of training on child abuse/family dynamics, etc., and frankly, I was NOT overreacting (and I also had never cried, even when reading some pretty bad police/CPS reports). I know even great parents sometimes lose their cool, but what was happening in that household was NOT ok.
So, pepelepolecat, you're not preaching to the choir. People,
even here, need to be reminded that yes, it is OK to call and report suspected abuse/neglect, and it is not 'interfering'. And it sounds like you had some terrible childhood experiences, and I am very sorry to hear that, and I am very sorry that no one called for you. Hugs (if you want them).
