I'm in awe of you Trooper, but I think you're going a bit hard at him
Most of us are women. We've been in our early 20s. We've struggled at times, raising children and really getting to know our spouse. We've had mother in law problems We've been treated as if we're at fault. We've been restless and dissatisfied at times, sometimes often. We've tended at times to regard our spouse as all-knowing, all-providing, all-forgiving and understanding. We've behaved like prima-donnas at times. We've believed absolutely that we were right, totally in the right. We've made demand and we've threatened. If we stick around with our spouse long enough and are honest enough, we look back and realise we weren't right as we thought we were
We've had friends write and invite us to visit them out of state, overseas, often a long distance from home. They might have said how much they miss us, how much they want to see our children. And they've told us we deserve a break. We might have told them we couldn't afford it. They might have offered to pay. Maybe we accepted, maybe not. We wanted a break away. We wanted to be our old selves, the girls/women we were before marriage and motherhood. We might have wanted to joke around with our friends like the old days. It gets us to thinking of the life we used to enjoy before marriage and motherhood. So there we might have been, getting on with our lives, and suddenly now -- after persuasion from friends or family -- we're dissatisfied. Yes, we think, marriage and motherhood and pinching pennies and putting husband and children first has aged us, changed us, made us less of the funny, carefree girl/woman we used to be. We might grumble about it to ourselves and to others. We might start finding fault with married life and spouse. All work and no play and look at me now ... a dull girl. Never get my hair done, don't have money for new clothes, everything for the house and babies and spouse and nothing left for poor old me. And after PMT has passed, we might have thought to ourselves that we'd behaved insanely for a week. We swear it won't happen again, but it does. And our spouse and kids put up with us.
It's a short step to silent resentment. Then to arguments. We never do anything. We never go anywhere. We can't afford to go away. All the money goes on equipment, on renovations (or whatever). I'm sick of this. I want to go somewhere new where the days aren't so hard. You're no fun. All you do is work. What's it all about anyway. Why are we denying and pushing ourselves like this. You say it's for the kids, but the kids won't want to be here .. they'll want to get away .. they'll leave us and we'll be too old to move or do anything by then. Or maybe it's, ' You'd already had your fun before we met, but I've had nothing .. straight from being a schoolgirl to working all hours of day and night and two little kids. I missed out the fun years, I'm stuck here. I want to have some fun. I feel 80 years old. Alright for you, you chose this place. But I've had enough. I want to see the ocean and green fields and bustling towns, the theatre. I want to go back to school. I want to be more than just this. You captured me. I feel as if I'm in a prison and you won't listen, you won't agree that things should change. Everything has to be your way. Well no more. I'm leaving and you won't stop me. And I'm taking the kids. I want them to have more than this too. I've tried talking to you but you don't listen, so that's it. I'm going
Who knows what poor Burden had gone through in his life. Parents strict disciplinarians? Too much work and responsibility too young? Feelings of obligation to his parents to make up for his brother's death? Too high expectations of himself, pushing himself, suppressing his own needs and wants? Did he suffer undiagnosed PTSD? Mother still there to be considered. Friction between mother in law and his wife with him in the middle trying to keep the peace? Gentle man, they've said locally. Never raised his hand or his voice. Always there if someone needed help. Trying to compensate for his brothers absence? 'I won't let anyone down .. I'll be here, doing what needs doing so don't worry, I'm here ' ?
In cases like this, the victim is always portrayed as perfect and the perp is unmitigated evil. But we're human. No one is perfect just as few are truly evil. It's not a tv show with characters painted black or white
They'd been all that way to Adelaide and back in one day. The youngest boy could well have been teething. Long way to go with two little kids. Couldn't afford to stay overnight, hence that long stressful trip? We don't know what sort of financial pressures they were under but that trip alone would bring out the worst in even the happiest couple. And where did they go ... a museum. Lovely innocent couple and their babies. They went to the museum. Not a night club, not a week at the beach although they would both most likely have loved that. So maybe he'd listened to her need to see and do more and they'd gone for a day out -- viewed some 'culture'. No comparison to Germany of course, but maybe he hoped it would make her a little bit happier?
The thing that breaks my heart is the image of him burying her on his own. I won't be surprised to learn he put precious momentoes with her. I don't think it was a planned murder. I believe he was desperate and glad to die and did so as soon as there was someone there (investigators) to take responsibility for his mother and sons
