Found Alive WI - Jayme Closs, 13, Barron, missing after parents found shot, 15 Oct 2018 *Arrest* #36

[crhedBngr]

I think moving toward a new normal is wise words.

The "let go" part? Ugh. As someone who has worked in victim advocacy I seriously shudder at that and think it's horrible advice. Most people who suffer trauma would do anything to "let go" of the horror their minds re-visit upon them.

RBBM

I agree.

As a breast-cancer survivor, I've had people tell me to "forget" about the entire experience. Just "put it behind you", or "let it go".

My solution was to work around it, acknowledge it, deal with it and go on with my life. It's part of who I am. But, I don't let it stop me from living my life. I have a gene mutation that puts me at higher risk for other types of cancers, but I'm not thinking about that every day. I just get my yearly tests done and go on.

IMO, Jayme has gone through something much, much worse than I have. My thoughts and prayers will be with her, and others whose lives were thrown into turmoil by "people" like JP.

 

[MsBetsy]

I think it is love. I have no clue how he found her but I think you are onto something. Finding out HOW he chose her is the big question. I wonder if they will ever let us know how he found her or will it be swept under the rug?

Love? This guy has no respect for human beings and even less for women, in my opinion. If anything he has an intense hatred towards women.

 

[kkdj]

You would like to know if it “crossed” the minds of his parents/brother, if maybe their son/brother was responsible for This crime.
I mean, I think many of us who had family around the greater area had it cross their mind.

Idk, since he has no criminal record. They might think this would be just too over the top for him.
I also wonder or maybe even think he more than likely has a juvenile record that would be sealed. I also wonder if he abused the family pets, if they had any. I mean, there had to be signs that he had psycho tendencies, don't you think?

 

[MassGuy]

I always want to know why. That's my biggest interest in cases.

jmo

Absolutely, the “why” and the “how.”

I have a pretty good idea what this guy wanted here, but I’m absolutely dying to know how he came to target her.

What specifically was the connection?

It seems that he knew her, but she didn’t know him.

That’s terrifying.

 

[crhedBngr]

From one who knows what abduction, separation from every part of life ever known, and constant torture and fear of death feels like, yes, it has a large potential for adding to the trauma already present, whether she absolutely wanted to go on national TV or not today.

Self- doubt ( Did I do all I could?) and sometimes, residual fear, and the many flashbacks to the traumas do cause survivors to re-think allowing their face and name to be put on national media after they are safe.

I went to extraordinary lengths to have the person who stalked, abducted and tortured me tried in what I can only describe as a " special court of law" for MY privacy's sake. He thought it would " benefit" him, but nope, backfired like a 65 Chevy Nova. His career history made the venue possible.

The state attorney general presided over the prosecution and was the person who slightly prepared me for what was to come, and then questioned me, the major witness, and he also questioned the loser defendant for hours every day.

In any other person's circumstances, I'd call it " transcendent", the way the AG and I worked together in sync. I was scared and angry, but I set all those emotions aside and I apparently did well because he ( the state AG at the time) told me I was the best witness he'd ever had in all his law career. That's when I broke down, literally. He wrapped his arms around me and somehow got me to a quiet place.

OMG, I am thinking of parts I haven't thought of in many years. I hope Jayme doesn't have to go through this. I hope with all my heart it can be prevented for her memories. You NEVER forget any of it, but being in court and having a prominent defense attorney question MY motives was soul- crushing and dehumanizing until I took a moment and realized what he and the creep who tried to kill me were doing.

I believe I did outsmart him because I never acknowledged any " good" in him at all.
He had nurses as character witnesses who really effed up. One got on the stand, glared at me, broke down into tears, and said " He bought me Christmas presents for several years. He was more like a husband to me than my own husband".
I smiled despite myself at her huge gaffe.
I'm going to close this post while I'm still smiling.
Love and good night to you all.

@Tricia, thank you for taking time out to be with us here tonight. (( Hugs)))!

Good for you. I love the last two paragraphs you've posted, particularly the last three sentences of Paragraph 2.

 

[BlinkOfAnI]

Having worked with so many honorable & humble "professionals" I am reminded that arrogance, condescending nature, or the feeling of having to prove oneself stands no gain. I am appreciative of humble integrity. We are all here for the same reason. Apparently it's time to time to sign off for the night lol.
ETA clarity

 

[SeekingJana]

Thank you SeekingJana for your reply. I agree with you, the only thing I want to know about the suspect is that he spends the rest of his life behind bars.

That Jayme is home with her aunt is all I need to know as well. I wish the pictures of her now and the interviews with her family would stop now. She is traumatized, 1 week, a month or in a year she may wish the pictures and interviews were never released. I saw a post on Facebook that my friends in Wisconsin were sharing "Healing Jayme" page releasing an address for anyone who wants to send well wishes of support to Jayme. I am hoping someone filters the letters she is sent because there are some real nut jobs in the world that will talk about assaults, etc etc. Actually, what I really hope is a victims advocate will tell the Healing Jayme page to post asking for no letters to be sent to Jayme. As it is, her name will be mentioned for years every time a child goes missing. I would rather her family closes the public window into Jayme's life from this point on until Jayme is old enough and healed enough to decide how much access and knowledge she wants the public to have to her. The life she knew was shattered, she has a long road of recovery . I feel like all the pictures being shared and the family interviews is still a means of holding her hostage...still being forced to be associated with the evil monster who killed her parents and held her hostage for 88 days. Hasn't she already been through enough ?

I said I was signing out, but the adrenaline is simply too high right now.

Your post is MAGNIFICENT in its understanding and point by point examples. I hope very much you aren't speaking from personal experience, but if you are. blessings and love to you for understanding so perfectly the HUGE DOWNSIDE in being a known victim.

My daddy, who loved me to the moon and back and would have died to protect me, never knew what I went through. Only a very few people who had a " need to know" ever did know.

Also, I moved away from that state and remarried, changing my name, and completely changing many things about my habits and so forth. It took YEARS for me to have much in the way of " normalcy" when I wasn't at work or with my husband.
I have PTSD and because of my own education in psychology, I can " outsmart" EMDR therapy without meaning to at all.

I have often said " If there was a drug which would erase all those memories, but leave my ability to function otherwise intact, I'd take it" and I truly do mean it. But, we live the hand we're dealt, and many many other abuse survivors suffered much worse than I did, I know. It's always a balancing thing in my mind to come here and participate in this kind of discussion. My hope is that we ALWAYS consider the survivor first and foremost, no matter what the age or circumstances, and do what another poster just suggested- look for the ones taken who haven't been found yet.

As long as there is evil in the world, these kinds of abductions involving children, ordinary people like me, housewives, older adults, and every vulnerable person on the spectrum of this condition we call " life".
As long as a person believes in God in their heart, and knows their prayers are heard and answered ( sometimes), there is reason to fight the despair and fear.

Now, I shall leave you all with this case and many others.
Don't forget about the people who are missing from the 1970's to today. Some of them may be alive and captive as well.

Dear Lord, help us to make a difference in small ways to the families of the missing here.

Love and good night.

 

[Bravo]

I hope they let the public know the real reason he did it. He has to be half nuts, thats a given... Did someone tell him to do it? Is he taking the fall for someone else? The truth may not turn out to be anything the public will like. Makes me wonder if the Police would hide it if the truth would be unpopular.

If you follow enough crime you will know we don't always get a why.

 

[kkdj]

Yet the biggest question remains.. why kill the parents? He sure went to alot of unnecessary risk to abduct Jayme... WHY? Was it a fantasy of his to go to this extreme? Color me confused, but I just don't get it.

Honestly, I think it was part of his turn on.
Imo he must be psychotic and maybe delusional.
Of course he knew right from wrong because he went to great lengths not to get caught.

 

[Bravo]

IMO folks are misunderstanding what Elizabeth Smart meant. I don't believe she is saying forget the experience. She is stating forget who you were before the horror. Stop trying to get back to that person. Your never going to be that person again. Move forward and find your new normal and your new you. Very sound advice IMO.

 

[kkdj]

Absolutely, the “why” and the “how.”

I have a pretty good idea what this guy wanted here, but I’m absolutely dying to know how he came to target her.

What specifically was the connection?

It seems that he knew her, but she didn’t know him.

That’s terrifying.

Isn't it? I think he stalked her and her parents, for different reasons but his ultimate goal was to get Jayme. I'll bet he also stalked her aunt because she watched Jayme so much. I think he was planning the perfect plan and what happened went down quickly, just as he had planned it. I'll bet he thinks he's pretty smart.
What else is on my mind is that maybe Jayme got him to believe she cared about him and he trusted that, leaving her more free the day she escaped.

 

[iamthewalrus]

Love? This guy has no respect for human beings and even less for women, in my opinion. If anything he has an intense hatred towards women.

Not normal love, weirdo love. Like a crush. A guy who has never had a girlfriend taking a 13 year old because mentally they were the same age. Fantasy in a mind that isn't right.

 

[kc1023]

IMO but I think maybe the family is sharing the pictures for the benefit of all the thousands of people who prayed and cared and worried about Jayme around the world, so we too can see that she is "ok" and share in their overwhelming joy. Closure for us, too, in a way. She was our girl for awhile too. I do think it will wind down once this initial elation gives way to getting back to real life. I think if Jayme were not in good spirits or functioning well right now, they would not do it. I think we have to trust that they are considering her and making wise choices as they obviously love her very much and want what's best for her.

 

[Bravo]

Absolutely, the “why” and the “how.”

I have a pretty good idea what this guy wanted here, but I’m absolutely dying to know how he came to target her.

What specifically was the connection?

It seems that he knew her, but she didn’t know him.

That’s terrifying.

Agree. Why Jayme specifically? Indeed terrifying. Typically we don't see all these elements wrapped up in one crime. Most unusual.

 

[TCIntriguedIN30]

No.

Thanks for asking, though.

I too am a WHY person and even more so interested in the thought process of his that led him to feel this was okay or justified.

 

[Inthedetails]

Agree. Why Jayme specifically? Indeed terrifying. Typically we don't see all these elements wrapped up in one crime. Most unusual.

Exactly.

jmo

 

[kiaatcher]

Not normal love, weirdo love. Like a crush. A guy who has never had a girlfriend taking a 13 year old because mentally they were the same age. Fantasy in a mind that isn't right.

I feel like it's more in a sense lust rather than love. I keep going back to incels when thinking of JTP. They have a deep hatred towards women and are controlled by lust in their hopes to have this fantasy. They don't understand what love truly is, they think of more of the intimate/sexual side rather than the emotional connection. I hope that makes sense.

 

[JaneEyre]

Self-delete

 

[mickey2942]

RBBM

I agree.

As a breast-cancer survivor, I've had people tell me to "forget" about the entire experience. Just "put it behind you", or "let it go".

My solution was to work around it, acknowledge it, deal with it and go on with my life. It's part of who I am. But, I don't let it stop me from living my life. I have a gene mutation that puts me at higher risk for other types of cancers, but I'm not thinking about that every day. I just get my yearly tests done and go on.

IMO, Jayme has gone through something much, much worse than I have. My thoughts and prayers will be with her, and others whose lives were thrown into turmoil by "people" like JP.

So true. A severe psychological trauma doesn't just "go away". The more you try to push it away, the more it drives you insane.

Move forward, and heal. But it takes years, decades. You are forever changed, and never really feel completely safe, the way it was before. But that doesn't mean that you stay home, locked away in fear. A "New Normal" is right.

Oddly enough, I went to school to be a counselor, and found I don't like the profession, people who perseverate and go on and on about a situation continue to live in it, without moving forward. Cognitive behavioral therapy is better, yes, you are different, but that is okay.

 

[MassGuy]

Isn't it? I think he stalked her and her parents, for different reasons but his ultimate goal was to get Jayme. I'll bet he also stalked her aunt because she watched Jayme so much. I think he was planning the perfect plan and what happened went down quickly, just as he had planned it. I'll bet he thinks he's pretty smart.
What else is on my mind is that maybe Jayme got him to believe she cared about him and he trusted that, leaving her more free the day she escaped.

My feeling is that he didn’t go to those lengths, but there definitely was a degree of planning here.

The crime was so violent and brazen, that I see a level of disorganization there.

He’s lucky he didn’t get caught.

He probably thinks he’s smart, but they all do.

It’s possible that Jayme was able to pull the wool over his eyes, but that’s a level of sophistication that is more common in people who are older than her.

She still nailed his *advertiser censored* though.

 

[Inthedetails]

Self deleting.