BaxterDE42
Active Member
- Joined
- May 16, 2012
- Messages
- 141
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Thank you so much for sharing such a personal and informative experience that is very relevant not only to little AJ's case but to any brutal and horrendous act of violence. Some of the most useful posts that help us better understand and cope with such acts are those of experience and do not come with a *link*. If I could reform or completely obliterate one word from describing these murderous acts, it would be the word "sick". That word implies something acquired, having the possibility of recovery from. These monsters are not "sick" - their acts are sickening. Nope. These monsters are pure evil. They are evil - not sick. Evil has no 12 step program and no redemption. We face it perhaps to test our resolve to obliterate it and to remind ourselves we need to be more protective of the weaker and most vulnerable among us.Not to mention, in a lot of cases, there’s much more than drug addiction. My mom, for example, has borderline personality disorder so even when drugs are/were removed, she still has a very manipulative/depressive/complex personality. It’s very hard with mental illness tbh. But, murdering your own child is just too far. My mom was very addicted and aggressive for about 10 years of my life but she NEVER touched me or my sister. Actually there was ONE time where I got super upset and was screaming at her that she hit me but literally only once in 10 years of severe drug abuse. My mom has been clean for years and now at 60, she has found peace. So people do recover but criminal behaviour like that is just... unexplainable. My mom never killed anyone or hurt anyone and she definitely would never hide a body of her own kid. Yes, her illness created emotional trauma on us but like I said, there’s a line. These two crossed the line of mental illness. I’m very empathetic towards mental illness/addiction because I know a lot of times the person does not want to be in that situation. My mom lost basically everything and she had to re-do her life. She wasn’t happy when she was in self destruct mode. People don’t choose to be born with a mental illness and have a lot of traumas that exacerbate it. My mom lost 3 children (1 stillborn at 9 months, twins that lived a few days) and her parents before she was 30). I’m not making excuses for her, but you have to try to understand what makes someone so troubled.
However, there’s a line and these crazies passed it. I haven’t heard from JC but the dad seemed totally sociopathetic on the 911 call, interviews, etc... he was fully conscious and was lying and just acting like a sociopath.
I think my judgment of mental illness normally is: if someone who had terminal cancer had done this to their kids, would I still want them in jail? The answer is hell yes. When I compare a mental illness such as addiction to a serious physical illness and I’d still judge the one with the physical illness as harshly, then for me it’s because the line has been crossed between mental illness and serious criminal behaviour.
I don’t like to generalize. Some parents do get clean after giving birth to kids with opioids or worse in their systems. And babies/kids are more resilient than we think if given the opportunity to leave the hospital and grow up in a stable environment. I mentioned Simone Biles, the Olympic gold medalist. Her mom was deeply, deeply addicted when pregnant with her. She was in jail 22 times while pregnant with Simone and Simone was born with drugs in her system. Unlike this case though, Child Services removed her and her little sister from the home very early on and placed them in foster care. They did give their mom a second chance but in a few months she relapsed and it was game over after 2 strikes. Perhaps because she’s black? The girls’ grandfather and his wife adopted them from the foster system when Simone was 5 and she is amazing. Best female athlete I’ve seen, ever. Plus just so positive and sweet and a great role model who is a spokesperson and helps other kids. So like I said, let’s not generalize. Kids born addicted to opioids/drugs CAN thrive if growing up in a loving and caring environment. The little ones are resilient. That’s what hurts the most. If the effing state had removed AJ from that home, he could have done great things in this world. I cannot get over that. He was 5. His life was not over. He could have a had chance to overcome all of this but he just never got one.
I am glad to see you post a positive outcome from your experience and that of your mother. Mental illness is a sickness from which there is a cure. Evil just exists. Let's not fear calling the entities that tortured AJ what they are! - They are not sick - they are evil!
