ACTIVE SEARCH SD - Serenity Dennard, 9, Children’s Home Society, Pennington County, 3 Feb 2019 #3

[mickey2942]

So sad that a parent gives up a child and has them put in a "home" where there is no love. A child cannot stay where there is no love. It's no wonder she ran away. I believe she is dead and decomposed.

I agree. The fact that she was placed at the school, in the Summer, means she wasn't going anywhere fast. I read the article posted above, Serenity Dennard had been in 12-14 foster home placements, before being adopted.

 

[K9Enzo]

@kay74 I don't know if it's that simple. I admit to having zero experience with children who suffer like this little girl. But when a child is capable of self harm and has followed through with some of their threats, like running away, I can see a parent(s) feeling helpless, especially if there are other children in the home to consider. I can't imagine it was a easy decision to remove her from the home. It sounds like the hope/goal was for her to get intense therapy in a very structured setting. I also get confused by who the biological, foster and adoptive parents are.

The article that PommyMommy posted today is very alarming and heartbreaking. Some of the diagnoses mentioned I have never heard of before, like RAD.

I'm not sure what would happen to some of these children if these type of facilities didn't exist who can provide 24/7 specialized care.

 

[Colorado303]

@TTF14 Many have theorize that '' someone '' ( no one knows who ) had visited Serenity and told her to meet them at the gate at a certain time... this is totally speculation... and picked her up...

Unfortunately, wishful thinking IMO.

 

[Stunned]

I agree. The fact that she was placed at the school, in the Summer, means she wasn't going anywhere fast. I read the article posted above, Serenity Dennard had been in 12-14 foster home placements, before being adopted.

Not good, not good at all!

 

[SkipperKey3]

So sad that a parent gives up a child and has them put in a "home" where there is no love. A child cannot stay where there is no love. It's no wonder she ran away. I believe she is dead and decomposed.

Please be careful not to use blanket statements in these situations. From what has been in the articles and such, her parents had worked pretty hard with her for several years. She was in outpatient therapy during that time. Even when they place her there on a long-term basis (18 months, I believe), it was with the intent of helping her cope, not abandoning her. Its not like they never visited her. I believe they said they visited her regularly, and in fact had visited her just the day before she ran. I don't think they were "giving up" on her.
As for the idea that she ran because she couldn't stay "where there is no love", the condition Serenity was diagnosed with was RAD, and part of the symptoms of that, I believe somebody said, was that she had trouble handling the close relationships. I think that means that it isn't the "lack of love" but the inability to make connections with the abundance of love that scares them and causes them to lash out or run.
Therefore, I refuse to vilify her adoptive parents on this. I'm not saying they did everything right, but I'm also not saying that they didn't love her or that they simply abandoned her. In their eyes, they were doing what was probably recommended in therapy, and doing all they could to help Serenity, so that she could cope.

 

[kay74]

Please be careful not to use blanket statements in these situations. From what has been in the articles and such, her parents had worked pretty hard with her for several years. She was in outpatient therapy during that time. Even when they place her there on a long-term basis (18 months, I believe), it was with the intent of helping her cope, not abandoning her. Its not like they never visited her. I believe they said they visited her regularly, and in fact had visited her just the day before she ran. I don't think they were "giving up" on her.
As for the idea that she ran because she couldn't stay "where there is no love", the condition Serenity was diagnosed with was RAD, and part of the symptoms of that, I believe somebody said, was that she had trouble handling the close relationships. I think that means that it isn't the "lack of love" but the inability to make connections with the abundance of love that scares them and causes them to lash out or run.
Therefore, I refuse to vilify her adoptive parents on this. I'm not saying they did everything right, but I'm also not saying that they didn't love her or that they simply abandoned her. In their eyes, they were doing what was probably recommended in therapy, and doing all they could to help Serenity, so that she could cope.

Oh please, if you're loved and wanted, you are not going to get RAD or run away. Every child should be loved and made happy. This poor girl has been through the ringer and then some. Putting her in this "home" is the very last thing she needed, case in point.

 

[PommyMommy]

So sad that a parent gives up a child and has them put in a "home" where there is no love. A child cannot stay where there is no love. It's no wonder she ran away. I believe she is dead and decomposed.

What? They didn't give up their child, but in fact, made a concerted effort to help her.

CD and KD had taken Serenity to outpatient therapy for 2 1/2 years before enrolling her at the Children's Home but the therapy wasn't working. Her behavior was getting worse; to the point that they were concerned she was going to hurt herself or another one of their kids.

Her family saw her four or five times a month during family therapy sessions or regular visits. They also took her home during the holidays and talked to her twice a week on the phone. MOO

'She's Serenity:' Missing girl's parents share daughter's story

 

[Catmommy]

It appears that Serenity was lost before she ever ran away this last time.

 

[kay74]

What? They didn't give up their child, but in fact, made a concerted effort to help her.

CD and KD had taken Serenity to outpatient therapy for 2 1/2 years before enrolling her at the Children's Home but the therapy wasn't working. Her behavior was getting worse; to the point that they were concerned she was going to hurt herself or another one of their kids.

Her family saw her four or five times a month during family therapy sessions or regular visits. They also took her home during the holidays and talked to her twice a week on the phone. MOO

'She's Serenity:' Missing girl's parents share daughter's story

If she felt cared about by them or content, she would not have run away. Evidently she didn't feel she could call on them for help. Maybe she was ruined by the multiple foster homes.

 

[PommyMommy]

If she felt cared about by them or content, she would not have run away. Evidently she didn't feel she could call on them for help. Maybe she was ruined by the multiple foster homes.

There is a wealthy amount of discussion about RAD (one of her diagnoses) and links to some very informative articles in the first two threads. It is not that simple. MOO
Thread #1
Thread #2

 

[SkipperKey3]

Oh please, if you're loved and wanted, you are not going to get RAD or run away. Every child should be loved and made happy. This poor girl has been through the ringer and then some. Putting her in this "home" is the very last thing she needed, case in point.

The fact is that she had RAD BEFORE she was adopted. So this argument doesn't wash. That she had RAD doesn't mean she wasn't loved and wanted by her adoptive parents.

 

[Seattle1]

I'm not equipped to discuss RAD or the effects such disorder may have had on Serenity but I do think some clarification and/or additional factors should be included when assessing Serenity including that she was with her her adoptive parents since the age 3 until 9 when she was placed in the children's home.

I listened to interviews by both bio Mom and bio Dad, and understand Serenity went to foster care at about age 24 months (the terrible two's) when both parents, and grandparents were incarcerated, and the paternal grandmother was mentally unstable to care for Serenity.

Reportedly, there were multiple foster caregivers for Serenity during age 2 but she was actually placed with her adoptive parents at age 3 where she remained until she went to the Children's home.

At the time, Serenity's adoptive parents also adopted a boy same age as Serenity -- who reportedly bonded with Dad while Serenity did not.

From the time Serenity was placed with her adoptive parents, her initial adoptive mother continued the therapeutic practice Serenity had been receiving to soothe her including holding and rocking her daily but this was disrupted when the adoptive parents separated within 15 months, and Serenity was the custody of her adoptive father. There's no confirmation whether the special, time consuming care continued or was followed by Dad or his girlfriend. Reportedly, there was also no routine visitation schedule for the initial adoptive mother with Serenity and her brother.

I don't believe it's fair to center blame on RAD, 12 foster homes, or the children's home for what happened to Serenity.

Just the same, I believe it's also fair to consider whether Serenity would have thrived if at age 3, she was placed in a different, consistent family environment -- possibly as a single child.

We will never know, and I will always wonder about what happened to this special girl.

MOO

 

[Bugurl747]

Since we are revisiting her verified diagnosis, I want to revisit a post I made previously:


In addition to RAD, Serenity was also diagnosed with DMDD.

Here is some info on this diagnosis:

Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD) is a condition in which a child is chronically irritable and experiences frequent, severe temper outbursts that seem out of proportion to the situation at hand. Children diagnosed with DMDD struggle to regulate their emotions in an age-appropriate way. In between outbursts they are irritable most of the time.

DMDD is a new disorder created to more accurately diagnose children who were previously diagnosed with pediatric bipolar disorder, even though they did not experience the episodic mania or hypomania characteristic of bipolar disorder.

NIMH » Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder

https://childmind.org/guide/guide-to-disruptive-mood-dysregulation-disorder/#dmdd-what-is-it

 

[human]

My friends adopted a child who has RAD . He was four when adopted and 16 when they finally were able to get an out of home placement. I don’t know how they did it so long.

He peed in the closet. Smeared his wall with feces. Climbed out second story windows. Shoplifted.

All the therapies could not repair the damage. Maybe someday when we know more.

Sleeping with your door locked because you are afraid your child may kill you is nerve wracking as well.

 

[Rocco]

I'm not equipped to discuss RAD or the effects such disorder may have had on Serenity but I do think some clarification and/or additional factors should be included when assessing Serenity including that she was with her her adoptive parents since the age 3 until 9 when she was placed in the children's home.

I listened to interviews by both bio Mom and bio Dad, and understand Serenity went to foster care at about age 24 months (the terrible two's) when both parents, and grandparents were incarcerated, and the paternal grandmother was mentally unstable to care for Serenity.

Reportedly, there were multiple foster caregivers for Serenity during age 2 but she was actually placed with her adoptive parents at age 3 where she remained until she went to the Children's home.

At the time, Serenity's adoptive parents also adopted a boy same age as Serenity -- who reportedly bonded with Dad while Serenity did not.

From the time Serenity was placed with her adoptive parents, her initial adoptive mother continued the therapeutic practice Serenity had been receiving to soothe her including holding and rocking her daily but this was disrupted when the adoptive parents separated within 15 months, and Serenity was the custody of her adoptive father. There's no confirmation whether the special, time consuming care continued or was followed by Dad or his girlfriend. Reportedly, there was also no routine visitation schedule for the initial adoptive mother with Serenity and her brother.

I don't believe it's fair to center blame on RAD, 12 foster homes, or the children's home for what happened to Serenity.

Just the same, I believe it's also fair to consider whether Serenity would have thrived if at age 3, she was placed in a different, consistent family environment -- possibly as a single child.

We will never know, and I will always wonder about what happened to this special girl.

MOO

The adoptive parents didn't even last 15 months. 'Chad and his ex-wife adopted Serenity in October 2014, and the couple broke up in early 2015. Chad and Kasandra began raising her in May 2015.' So less than 7 months.

If it's accurate that she did not bond with her adoptive father, it's troubling that he was awarded physical custody of her. Would things have been different for her if she had remained with the adoptive mom?

I think you're on to something when you question if she had been placed in a different, consistent family environment, would she have thrived.

 

[Stunned]

The adoptive parents didn't even last 15 months. 'Chad and his ex-wife adopted Serenity in October 2014, and the couple broke up in early 2015. Chad and Kasandra began raising her in May 2015.' So less than 7 months.

If it's accurate that she did not bond with her adoptive father, it's troubling that he was awarded physical custody of her. Would things have been different for her if she had remained with the adoptive mom?

I think you're on to something when you question if she had been placed in a different, consistent family environment, would she have thrived.

Again, this child was failed on so many levels. But....sadly that is our foster/ adoption system.

 

[Stunned]

Since we are revisiting her verified diagnosis, I want to revisit a post I made previously:


In addition to RAD, Serenity was also diagnosed with DMDD.

Here is some info on this diagnosis:

Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD) is a condition in which a child is chronically irritable and experiences frequent, severe temper outbursts that seem out of proportion to the situation at hand. Children diagnosed with DMDD struggle to regulate their emotions in an age-appropriate way. In between outbursts they are irritable most of the time.

DMDD is a new disorder created to more accurately diagnose children who were previously diagnosed with pediatric bipolar disorder, even though they did not experience the episodic mania or hypomania characteristic of bipolar disorder.

NIMH » Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder

https://childmind.org/guide/guide-to-disruptive-mood-dysregulation-disorder/#dmdd-what-is-it

I call these poor kiddos the alphabet kids! They have so many letters on their IEPs and behavior plans it’s almost impossible to keep up! But we try! We keep trying!

 

[Rocco]

If she felt cared about by them or content, she would not have run away. Evidently she didn't feel she could call on them for help. Maybe she was ruined by the multiple foster homes.

According to her adoptive parents, this is why she ran away: ''She may have ran Feb. 3 because she started to feel too comfortable at the home, was no longer the new girl and was ready for something new, the couple said.''
I'm not really buying that, merely pointing out that that's what they said.

 

[Stunned]

The adoptive parents didn't even last 15 months. 'Chad and his ex-wife adopted Serenity in October 2014, and the couple broke up in early 2015. Chad and Kasandra began raising her in May 2015.' So less than 7 months.

If it's accurate that she did not bond with her adoptive father, it's troubling that he was awarded physical custody of her. Would things have been different for her if she had remained with the adoptive mom?

I think you're on to something when you question if she had been placed in a different, consistent family environment, would she have thrived.

I tentatively agree. I have seen it happen. Sadly once. With a totally on board foster family (who yah! After 20 years are expecting!) and adopting after fostering ! And a teacher who never gave up! ( sorry, yah ! Me!)

 

[Seattle1]

The adoptive parents didn't even last 15 months. 'Chad and his ex-wife adopted Serenity in October 2014, and the couple broke up in early 2015. Chad and Kasandra began raising her in May 2015.' So less than 7 months.

If it's accurate that she did not bond with her adoptive father, it's troubling that he was awarded physical custody of her. Would things have been different for her if she had remained with the adoptive mom?

I think you're on to something when you question if she had been placed in a different, consistent family environment, would she have thrived.

I believe you are correct that adoptive parents lasted about 7 months since adoption. For 15 months, I also counted the months Serenity lived with this family before adoption was official.