I definitely agree,
@IRBHTX. When passions are rekindled in mid-life, after being long absent, I’d say they tend to burn even hotter than in youth. After the despair of her marriage and the return of her cancer I’ll bet SM was feeling young and vibrant and desirable again in ways she hadn’t for many years. She was finding herself again. She was buoyant. And this makes me happy even if there was no chance for success with the JL relationship.
That relationship was like a tattoo for her — it marked an inflection point in her life. It may not have started with sex, but sex is often in the cards when one goes from despair to hope, from depression to elation, from being taken for granted to being seen as a person deserving of love. No doubt the months in between meetups just fueled the fire. That relationship was doomed from the start even if BM hadn’t stepped in to end her life. But one’s doesn’t see that in the throes of new love. I’m glad she had those feelings again before her life was cruelly taken from her.
I think one’s faith can provide valuable ballast, especially in a stormy life like SM seems to have been living for quite some time. But it can also anchor you to unhealthy situations and cause guilt for desiring something more in life. I think SM’s spiritual self was maturing due to her second bout with cancer, among other things. She had come to realize that her wants and needs were just as important as anyone else’s. That she was entitled to be happy. And that you have to seize the day.
IIRC, she said, “What was young me thinking?” That’s a breakthrough question. I do wonder if she may have been in therapy of some sort — and we just haven’t heard about it yet — due to her cancer, DV, or some other new friend/opportunity that brought new perspective. Sometimes I wonder if that’s what BM was referring to when he accused her of “wanting to go back to town and talk to someone” after he hurt his leg. Perhaps we’ll find out more next week.
All MOO, all the time.
