MO MO - Betty Alexander, 69, Sullivan, 11 April 2019

[bombardier]

-the sighting on Thursday 5pm was by two coworkers who got a good look at the woman as they had to physically drive around her in the road, but this sighting has NOT been confirmed. If this was Betty then she would have had to be somewhere other than her apartment that morning as she did respond to people at her door.

- the family dynamics here are MESSY
-the man who moved into Betty's apartment was Jerry, the uncle of Kathy, who is married to Betty's son David. This is the Jerry who saw Betty for the last time on Wed 3pm.
-David lied online later, saying this move was due to Betty's lease terminating due to the unit being unoccupied. Daughter was actually still paying the rent at this time and landlord confirmed nothing was being terminated.
-the sons were actually present for that first search, but they apparently sat on the side lines and had a laugh about something.
-her son David had previously been improving his relationship with his mother (why was it not good in the first place?) and had gotten in the habit of going over every Thursday. David HAD been to the complex the Thursday in question, but for some reason had just gone to his uncle-in-law Jerry's place and didn't pop in to see his mother...
-certain family members (named withheld) are avoiding getting interviewed.
-her daughter requested a Luminal test of the apartment and no blood was found.
-only potential sign of a struggle was a scratch on a sliding door. everything else was neat and tidy.
-LE has acknowledged to the daughter that foul play could be involved, and the investigation is ongoing but nothing new is coming in

 

[bombardier]

I think when revisiting all this information, my theories have changed... I now doubt that dementia and wandering off was involved. I know delirium (as I've mentioned can be due to an UTI) can come on fast but on the same day as when multiple people saw her and reported she was doing great??
The big thing that initially led me to believe dementia was the Thursday sighting but now I am doubting that was Betty (she lived in a complex for the elderly, I'm guessing a lot of women around the area look similar), or doubting she was outside the fire station without a reason (i.e. did she have something she was considering reporting?)
I REALLY don't want her son to be involved but alas, this kind of stuff does have a precedent (anyone else following that current case where a young man dismembered his parents??). Why would David be repairing their relatiomship but then totally uninterested in finding her? Why didn't he check on her that Thursday he went over? If Jerry is such a close friend to Betty why did he not attempt contact between Wednesday and when her daughter came by on Sunday?
-if family members are being deceptive, I am wondering if one of them drove Betty to City Hall that day. I am hoping family members have all been verified to not be the scraggly guy.
I am doubting Betty was selling her patches to a user for extra cash... she just doesn't seem the type. If someone close to her needed it to manage pain I am guessing she would have given it free of charge, especially considering she seemed to not use it consistently and thus had extra patches left over at end of rx. I DO think that whoever was involved here had something to do with the patches, either taking them to use or to fuzz the narrative.

 

[Damarna]

Thank you, @bombardier , for the excellent recap on the podcast. Too many people are muddying the waters a bit with differing stories and “facts.” My gut tells me some family members have the answers and are unwilling to divulge that info. Maybe an accident? Maybe covering for someone? The things she did that her daughter thought were out-of-character maybe were more routine than she thinks - not really knowing what happened during mom’s week? I don’t know. How could she have just walked away without anyone noticing?

 

[Betty P]

Yes, thanks for the summary, @bombardier. It reinforces my feeling that foul play is most likely involved. I really hope LE can go back and interview the people who saw Betty last and whose stories don't sound right.

I agree, Betty seemed unlikely to be in a confused state since she had been seen behaving normally by multiple witnesses during the same day she disappeared. Same for no erratic behavior witnessed in the days prior.

There's also no other way to explain Betty getting to City Hall besides getting a ride with someone. That she was there with a shaggy looking man is terrifying to think about.

It's always seemed odd that her son says he was at her apartment complex on the night she went missing, but didn't go to her apartment. Instead, he visited the relative of his wife who later was allowed to move into Betty's apartment and given some of her furniture.

ETA: Some might consider the latter as establishing an alibi.

 

[bombardier]

Wondering if there was any financial incentive (moreso than the fentanyl + Betty's possessions) for Betty to be gone. She was at that age where she must have had a will, and would have just gotten whatever assets were in his husband's name when he passed in 2018.
This is pure speculation and I have NO proof but a potential series of events leading to this sad outcome could be... Betty inherits sum of money that a relative neeďs urgently -> relative realizes they are underrepresented in her will due to bad relationship -> relative tries to get into her good fortunes -> Betty has shown to rely on family to help her w documents/finances so relative is kept up to date on the contents of her will -> will has been altered -> relative does not have time for Betty to pass away naturally -> Betty goes missing -> relative can apply for Betty to be declared officially dead in order for money and assets to get paid out
(of course, if it's ever confirmed that Betty had not altered her will in the past few years or family never attempts a cash-out, ignore this speculation )

 

[Betty P]

Wondering if there was any financial incentive (moreso than the fentanyl + Betty's possessions) for Betty to be gone. She was at that age where she must have had a will, and would have just gotten whatever assets were in his husband's name when he passed in 2018.
This is pure speculation and I have NO proof but a potential series of events leading to this sad outcome could be... Betty inherits sum of money that a relative neeďs urgently -> relative realizes they are underrepresented in her will due to bad relationship -> relative tries to get into her good fortunes -> Betty has shown to rely on family to help her w documents/finances so relative is kept up to date on the contents of her will -> will has been altered -> relative does not have time for Betty to pass away naturally -> Betty goes missing -> relative can apply for Betty to be declared officially dead in order for money and assets to get paid out
(of course, if it's ever confirmed that Betty had not altered her will in the past few years or family never attempts a cash-out, ignore this speculation )

I wondered the same thing. Maybe she had a life insurance policy or some family property. Surely, local police would have looked into that.

As far as someone seeing or hearing anything that night, I think she left or was taken out late at night. Most of the people who live there are elderly and go to bed early. It was still springtime and people would still have their windows closed at night. Someone might have still been up, but they're not talking.

I also find it a little odd that Betty's Meals on Wheels dinner was still sitting there. Aren't people who deliver those meals instructed to contact someone if it looks like the resident is missing? Maybe just an oversight.

 

[Betty P]

Following is a link to page 11 of the Sullivan Independent News of this week.
The lower part of the page contains a "Letter to the Editor" from a local resident regarding the numerous addicts and dangerous homeless people living in downtown Sullivan. The person, who is a former addict who now has a job, owns a home, etc. knows the habits of these people and is concerned about the crime and danger they present to residents downtown. They're also very frustrated with the failure of local LE to do anything to apprehend these people or stop the crime occurring downtown.

eTypeWebsite

I hope this link works. The letter is on page 11. It may be a subscribers only link. If so, I'll see if I can post a screen shot of the LTTE. The title of the letter is "This is Not The Sullivan I Grew Up (In)".

JMO only, but I feel this crime problem with addicted people in and near downtown Sullivan may have played a role in Betty Alexander's disappearance.

 

[Betty P]

Following is a link to page 11 of the Sullivan Independent News of this week.
The lower part of the page contains a "Letter to the Editor" from a local resident regarding the numerous addicts and dangerous homeless people living in downtown Sullivan. The person, who is a former addict who now has a job, owns a home, etc. knows the habits of these people and is concerned about the crime and danger they present to residents downtown. They're also very frustrated with the failure of local LE to do anything to apprehend these people or stop the crime occurring downtown.

eTypeWebsite

I hope this link works. The letter is on page 11. It may be a subscribers only link. If so, I'll see if I can post a screen shot of the LTTE. The title of the letter is "This is Not The Sullivan I Grew Up (In)".

JMO only, but I feel this crime problem with addicted people in and near downtown Sullivan may have played a role in Betty Alexander's disappearance.

Hi Hazelnutty,

Were you able to read the newspaper link? Thanks for feedback.

 

[Pipsissiway_Potts]

Hi Hazelnutty,

Were you able to read the newspaper link? Thanks for feedback.

Unfortunately it's behind a paywall.

 

[Laughing]

Found a paywall as well.

That newspaper's website is, well, not my favorite.

jmho ymmv lrr

 

[Betty P]

Found a paywall as well.

That newspaper's website is, well, not my favorite.

jmho ymmv lrr

Thanks for the feedback. Yes, its a janky web site. I have trouble with it sometimes and I'm a paid subscriber.

I'll do a screen shot. Ok, here's a screen capture. Its a rather long letter, with a few grammar, etc. errors, but the writer gets his message across well. People are afraid to live near downtown, which is where Betty Alexander lived. These people were probably hanging around Betty's apartment complex. Some may have known she had a prescription for the fentanyl patches, who knows?

Not all are homeless, per se. Some that I saw when I was there a couple of years ago looked like they were living in their cars. It's crazy. As the writer states, this is not the town it used to be. There's no need for this to be happening.

As information, the old police chief did finally retire a while back. I hope the new police chief finds a way to deal with this problem.

 

[Laughing]

So sad! Apparently I-44 crossing our country leaves a mess alongside in Missouri?

jmho ymmv lrr

 

[Betty P]

So sad! Apparently I-44 crossing our country leaves a mess alongside in Missouri?

jmho ymmv lrr

Yes, having I-44 right next to the town has always been a blessing and a curse. It brings a lot of business, but also some crime. But this is much worse than its ever been. As this man says, the worst part is that these drug addicted drifters are just allowed to hang around. The police don't seem to be trying to stop the criminal activity.

They're also dealing with people addicted to opioids, too. There has to be a way then can get rid of the drugs and either put people in rehab or jail or force them to get out of town.

 

[Bit of hope]

Thank @Betty P for giving some other perspectives. I understand the concerns. Are you suggestion Betty Alexander could be a victim of "those people"? And I don't say it's impossible. What is your point of view?

To be fair, I feel kind of hurt. If the solution you are suggesting (jail or rehab etc.) was all about that......they would already solved the "problems" by now. Why do you say dangerous homeless people? What makes them dangerous? Addicts? not dangerous persé. Like all people living on this "wonderful" place called world there are rotten people and good people. Most of them are not even bad, but sucked into a life nobody dreamed about when they were young. People who lost their way, because this world is the world it became. The ugly ones are among us, but also the good, in every community, city, family or whatever.

 

[Betty P]

Thank @Betty P for giving some other perspectives. I understand the concerns. Are you suggestion Betty Alexander could be a victim of "those people"? And I don't say it's impossible. What is your point of view?

To be fair, I feel kind of hurt. If the solution you are suggesting (jail or rehab etc.) was all about that......they would already solved the "problems" by now. Why do you say dangerous homeless people? What makes them dangerous? Addicts? not dangerous persé. Like all people living on this "wonderful" place called world there are rotten people and good people. Most of them are not even bad, but sucked into a life nobody dreamed about when they were young. People who lost their way, because this world is the world it became. The ugly ones are among us, but also the good, in every community, city, family or whatever.

JMO, it's possible something happened to Betty as a result of some people who were hanging out near her home, people who were using and seeking drugs. They may have been acquaintances of people who lived nearby or people who were trying to befriend her in order to get inside her home.

Addiction is a terrible thing, but in order to overcome it, people need to seek treatment. Like the person who wrote the LTTE, they need to get off drugs, get a job and become self sufficient, productive members of the community. The downtown business district and the homes around it have been victimized for several years now with repeated robberies and theft, sometimes violence. As the person writing the letter noted, he sees police talking to these homeless meth users, but they never arrest them. They never seek to eliminate the source of drugs. There are rehab facilities in the area.

Allowing a large, addicted, transient/homeless community of people egnaging in criminal behavior living within a block or two of a group of senior apartments is totally unacceptable. It's bad for the health and safety of residents and bad for local businesses trying to stay afloat.

 

[Bit of hope]

JMO, it's possible something happened to Betty as a result of some people who were hanging out near her home, people who were using and seeking drugs. They may have been acquaintances of people who lived nearby or people who were trying to befriend her in order to get inside her home.

Addiction is a terrible thing, but in order to overcome it, people need to seek treatment. Like the person who wrote the LTTE, they need to get off drugs, get a job and become self sufficient, productive members of the community. The downtown business district and the homes around it have been victimized for several years now with repeated robberies and theft, sometimes violence. As the person writing the letter noted, he sees police talking to these homeless meth users, but they never arrest them. They never seek to eliminate the source of drugs. There are rehab facilities in the area.

Allowing a large, addicted, transient/homeless community of people egnaging in criminal behavior living within a block or two of a group of senior apartments is totally unacceptable. It's bad for the health and safety of residents and bad for local businesses trying to stay afloat.

I understand your feelings, but IMO something totally different happened to Betty. We are not going to get on the same level on this issues. Totally ok. I don't want to discuss this topics, anymore. I wish this sweet lady is going to be found...IMO because she or her body isn't found, more sinister things went down. Betty Alexander....hopes up for you lady and all people that love you.

 

[Bit of hope]

Came back because I sometimes think about this lady, still nothing new. Did her case went cold?

 

[Bit of hope]

Yes, thanks for the summary, @bombardier. It reinforces my feeling that foul play is most likely involved. I really hope LE can go back and interview the people who saw Betty last and whose stories don't sound right.

I agree, Betty seemed unlikely to be in a confused state since she had been seen behaving normally by multiple witnesses during the same day she disappeared. Same for no erratic behavior witnessed in the days prior.

There's also no other way to explain Betty getting to City Hall besides getting a ride with someone. That she was there with a shaggy looking man is terrifying to think about.

It's always seemed odd that her son says he was at her apartment complex on the night she went missing, but didn't go to her apartment. Instead, he visited the relative of his wife who later was allowed to move into Betty's apartment and given some of her furniture.

ETA: Some might consider the latter as establishing an alibi.

If I remember right there was another son somewhere. His father was Betty's late husband. Could he have been seeing her or went with her to the city hall? Also I agree with you and others that it's odd that the son visited not his mother but the uncle and J was given Betty's apartment and even some of her furniture. To me this feels like they knew at that point she wasn't coming back....... ever.

 

[Shan12]

I see the family is discounting the dementia factor in Betty’s disappearance, but I still wonder if sadly it could have been more advanced than they thought. On the Bring Betty Home page, the admin (daughter, I presume) stated, “She didn’t have a cell phone because she couldn’t figure out how to work one.” Age 69 really isn’t that old and I think a great majority of people that age have cell phones and use them.

The daughter has said something to the effect that the mom took minimal meds for her dementia and said the dr told her it wouldn’t make much of a noticeable if she did not take it, that she would only mix up a name or forget a name occasionally. I feel like mixing up or forgetting a name—if that were all—would not be indicative of dementia, but rather normal age cognitive decline. For the dr to prescribe meds, I feel like maybe there must have been more symptoms.

So, I still think the possibility of her wandering off could be a possibility.

Another fact I learned from reading the comments the daughter has written on the BBH (Bring Betty Home) page is that her dad (Betty’s husband) just passed away quite recently, on 12/23/18! She wrote:
“Dad was always the one who had the cell phone and he passed away 2 days before Christmas.” and elsewhere, “Dad just passed away 2 days before this Christmas and I have been coping with that and then now this.” So, Betty is a recent widow and was having to cope with that, too.
A factor in her disappearance somehow , too?

I have more thoughts, but I’ll end this post here. Hoping along with you all that Betty is found very soon.

 

[Shan12]

Sorry I accidentally hit enter above before posting...anyway, I wanted to reply to say that I completely agree with your thoughts. I just became aware of this case, so am by no means an expert on it. That said, I am very experienced in providing services as a social worker and case manager to people living with dementia and their families. Dementia is a progressive illness. Meaning, just because someone hasn't wandered off before does not mean that they won't at some point due to progression. Families are often in denial about the severity of a loved one's limitations and will think that they are more capable than they really are, or will (unintentionally) downplay the symptoms. The fact that her husband passed away recently before her disappearance is also a potential factor. Spouses often compensate for the other with dementia without families being aware of how much they are doing or how much their presence "covers" for the one with cognitive loss. I am also guessing that her apartment might have been a relatively new situation (downsizing after death of a spouse) and may have led to her becoming more confused or disoriented. Again, all of this is my opinion only based on my experience (personal and professional).