The "Affair"

[Topsail Girl]

I just read each of the affadavits and all I can say is :-O.

Poor Nancy. I don't know why she married this jerk and then had children with him. She was doomed from the beginning.

If I had ANY doubt before (which I didn't) I now have ZERO doubt that he murdered his wife. I hope he fries for this....he deserves the death penalty.

You really have to read each of the affidavits to understand just how bad it was in that home. The man seemed to hate his kids just as much as his wife. And Brad's family (esp his mother)? OMG what a .

I totally and completely agree with every word you just typed. Nancy was just like Laci and Michelle (the two who just popped right out of my head) -they had no idea because these control freaks are so suave and smooth till it's too late.

 

[sunflowers]

I totally and completely agree with every word you just typed. Nancy was just like Laci and Michelle (the two who just popped right out of my head) -they had no idea because these control freaks are so suave and smooth till it's too late.

Agree. All 3 gorgeous women taken in by evil, cruel, inhuman men who "act" & "look" normal, but are such damaged, controlling, mean, evil people. With their beautiful wives.... maybe to help them gain some sense of self-confidence..... and then controlling them more & more.... makes us so sick for Nancy, Laci, Michelle, & all of the women out there in those situations.....JMO

 

[newMom]

OMGosh, I am sick to my stomach after reading those affadavits. I really feel for those friends, having witnessed all of this. And my heart is absolutely broken for Nancy and what she had to endure.


I'm new here, well I've been around since Laci's case, but only posted a few times in the Michelle Young case. All 3 of these cases really touched me. I was pregnant when Michelle was murdered and now I'm a Mom (and pregnant again!) and so sensitive to the plight of Moms and children.


I live in Raleigh and was even in Cary the night this happened. Thank you for all your insightful posts. I love it here.

 

[fran]

Thanks Carolina Lady for the link to the affidavits. Thank God Nancy had such good friends. The behavior of Brad & his parents is unbelievable cruel, mean, & so inhumane. So strange that Brad continues to be good friends with the ex-husband of his former "mistress", & even stayed with him while the police were at his house.

Brad's lawyers (WRAL today) suggest that Nancy must have thought he was a good father because of her willingness to share custody, etc. To me, it suggests that Nancy was frightened out-of-her-mind & was willing to say all sorts of things to somehow get out of the marriage alive & intact.

Divorce attorneys clearly know that women--especially women in emotionally abusive marriages--say "nice" things about their spouse as a father & agree to custodial arrangements that they would definitely not prefer--in order to get out of the horribly difficult marriage. Nancy agreed to sharing custody because it's was the only way that she had any chance of getting out of the marriage..... JMO

You did notice that that was 'DRAFT 2' that we saw. That would mean Brad had already, most likely, crossed off OTHER items he wouldn't agree to. Of course, we don't know that he agreed to these either, though.:waitasec:

After all, he NEVER signed it!

But he DID take away the children's passports and refused money to Nancy.

JMHO
fran

 

[fran]

OMGosh, I am sick to my stomach after reading those affadavits. I really feel for those friends, having witnessed all of this. And my heart is absolutely broken for Nancy and what she had to endure.


I'm new here, well I've been around since Laci's case, but only posted a few times in the Michelle Young case. All 3 of these cases really touched me. I was pregnant when Michelle was murdered and now I'm a Mom (and pregnant again!) and so sensitive to the plight of Moms and children.


I live in Raleigh and was even in Cary the night this happened. Thank you for all your insightful posts. I love it here.

Welcome to Websleuths and congratulations on expecting MORE!

These cases can get to you if you let 'em.

fran

 

[sunflowers]

You did notice that that was 'DRAFT 2' that we saw. That would mean Brad had already, most likely, crossed off OTHER items he wouldn't agree to. Of course, we don't know that he agreed to these either, though.:waitasec:

After all, he NEVER signed it!

But he DID take away the children's passports and refused money to Nancy.

JMHO
fran

Also is very strange, IMO, that Brad's parents & sibs have been TOTALLY silent, & the lawyers apparently have advised Brad to be silent & have them be silent & they (Seth et al) will speak on his behalf. Not one peep. Not even to say how horrified they are with Nancy's murder, or thanks to everybody for searching or what an unspeakable tragedy this is, etc.

Since his father is "out of the country" right now, I was presuming his parents were in Cary right now. His brother's wife (who has NEVER met Nancy---strange again, IMO) said that he was with Brad in Cary. If they are indeed in Cary, where are they & why the silence? Their silence speaks volumes.

Urgh.

 

[fran]

Also is very strange, IMO, that Brad's parents & sibs have been TOTALLY silent, & the lawyers apparently have advised Brad to be silent & have them be silent & they (Seth et al) will speak on his behalf. Not one peep. Not even to say how horrified they are with Nancy's murder, or thanks to everybody for searching or what an unspeakable tragedy this is, etc.

Since his father is "out of the country" right now, I was presuming his parents were in Cary right now. His brother's wife (who has NEVER met Nancy---strange again, IMO) said that he was with Brad in Cary. If they are indeed in Cary, where are they & why the silence? Their silence speaks volumes.

Urgh.

Welcome to Websleuths sunflowers! glad you could join us!

well, well, well, now we KNOW why we haven't heard from the family of Brad.
http://www.wral.com/asset/news/local/2008/07/23/3258895/Plaintiff_affidavits.pdf

IMHO, this series of affidavits pretty well explains just about all we need to know about Mr. Brad Cooper and his family as well! Humph!

I can hardly believe what I've just read. Poor Nancy. She was going through he!! with that poor excuse of a ehhhh {husband}!

Nancy's friends must be beside themselves that they didn't save her.

Hopefully they can at the least, save her two precious daughters!

JMHO
fran

 

[sugarbritches]

Oh my gosh WS friends. This is very disturbing to me. I don't even know what to say. After reading those affadavits...I sat here and stared at the screen for what seemed like eternity. I then broke down and cried. A mother's love is so strong. Well, besides some mothers who live in Orlando, but that is another thread. Anyway, Nancy is going to affect the rest of my life. What a strong and smart person she was. I love her and do not even know her. I love her babies and have never met them. I can only guess how her friends and family must feel. The things I want to say about him can not even be printed on here. Guys, he did it. And with that, I have to go pray. Poor baby Nancy. Poor babies, her daughters. I love you Nancy. Rest peacefully.

 

[fran]

Don't let it get you down too much sweety. You can't help Nancy now, but you can pray that her killer is brought to justice and pray that her beautiful children grow up just like their wonderful mom.

Unfortunately, tomorrow there will be another. The parade of victims never ends.

Sad but true.

fran

 

[SleuthyGal]

I hope the facts of this case help the next wife and mother who is being controlled and verbally abused by her husband to take heed and plot her escape from the abuser well and long before she too ends up like Nancy did.

Such a control freak should never learn in advance that his wife is 'unhappy' and wants a divorce. She should do the best acting of her life and pretend all is well for as long as she needs to. But she should be socking away money and get herself a good and private plan to escape to save herself and her children.

NEVER EVER give a control freak abuser spouse information about what you want, ESPECIALLY if it's about gaining your independence. Never give your abuser the opportunity to 'snap' and do the ultimate control maneuver: murder.

Plot your escape carefully. Take your time. Make sure you have money in cash and hidden. Make sure you contact your local women's shelter and document what is happening with you. But SECRETLY! Do not leave evidence around where your control freak abuser might discover it.

Do whatever you have to do but PLOT YOUR ESCAPE, GET OUT, GET YOUR KIDS OUT, and SURVIVE!

 

[momto3kids]

I wonder if any of the women from his past affairs are helping to comfort him now? It sounds like he had a few. I hope each one is made to testify. This will be a valuable lesson to them for being with a married man and thinking it is ok.

What goes around comes around!

 

[RaleighNC]

I read all the affidavits and all I can say is - oh my.

What wonderful friends, but what total isolation for her. And the fact that her entire life, security, income, immigration status, etc was tied to him only further served to empower him. THAT part worries me - it makes me mad that his company moved him and had little regard for the attached spouse, and that the green card process was so slow, and that there is no support network for her, etc.

He blamed a lot of his inaccessibility on work. that is total BS. Cisco does not make anyone stay over a weekend to save money. And he certainly had a cell phone that works internationally. My husband works for Cisco and he's ALWAYS accessible to me. China, Europe, ANYWHERE. He takes that seriously. And there is always internet connectivity.

I am angry that she had no official support - no money to consult an immigration attorney.

I know why the divorce proceedings looked "amicable" and allowed for shared custody. How the heck could she have created a hostile environment when he had verbally beaten her down for YEARS. She probably no longer even recognized herself. It would have taken a year after getting away from him to be able to stand up to him. Of course the separation agreement looked reasonable - she was still ENTIRELY dependent on him - he could have made her life a living hell if she had stated the truth about him. And this 1 year waiting period in NC may have done her in anyway.

It appears that she was so close to getting away from him.

he was so close to having to admit failure, and have that paraded about for all to see - the house selling, not getting custody, her moving away - besides having to pay support - I don't think he wanted that "on his record". Much better picture to be the poor widower trying to raise 2 beautiful girls.

I cannot imagine the guilt her friends and family feel. It probably didn't hit them how BAD it was until they put pen to paper and signed that affidavit.

What terrible things going on behind that picture perfect facade. And - it's even worse to see that it was already impacting the children.

Devastating.

 

[fran]

Welcome RaleighNC

I agree completely with your post. Sadly, we see this over and over and over. The pages of Websleuths is littered with this same scenario in missing, murdered, trials, and never solved case after case.

It's hard to believe, isn't it?

FWIW, I don't think he had only one affair. He was a serial adulterer. We've seen that before too. That adds insult to injury. They control, manipulate, and flaunt their affairs in your face. To add the fact that Nancy had no way out.

She was definitely TRAPPED.

Makes you want to cry. If we'd only known. If anyone had only known it would end up like this, they would have gone that step further and helped her run!



JMHO
fran

 

[RaleighNC]

Thanks, Fran!

Oh - I believe he was having affair after affair after affair. It was also stated that he had a relationship with a former bosses wife. oh my. And then the MBA hook up, and then the co-worker on the Ireland trip. Office gossip and doing this stuff where he works WILL come back to bite him.

By all accounts he is a smart guy - but arrogant - and ultimately that will be his downfall - thinking he's smarter than everyone else and will get away with this.

 

[Mimi]

Boy he sounds like a real charmer :yuck::yuck::yuck::steamed:

I never thought anyone could compare to Scott Peterson but he is certainly giving it a shot!

Hopefully Laci is holding Nancy gently in her arms.

 

[Topsail Girl]

Boy he sounds like a real charmer :yuck::yuck::yuck::steamed:

I never thought anyone could compare to Scott Peterson but he is certainly giving it a shot!

Hopefully Laci is holding Nancy gently in her arms.

A very close second to Scott Perterson is Jason Young and I'm sure either Laci or Michelle are holding Nancy - as bubbly as those ladies were they're probably both holding Nancy

 

[newMom]

A very close second to Scott Perterson is Jason Young and I'm sure either Laci or Michelle are holding Nancy - as bubbly as those ladies were they're probably both holding Nancy

What a lovely, although sad, thought. We can only hope.

 

[MsRyber]

It isn't too much of a stretch to think that the reason she agreed to joint custody was because the burden was on Brad to provide transportation to see them, etc. With what he had (reportedly) said about never wanting to see them again, she may have just put that in to appease him, knowing that he would (hopefully) not follow through.

It wouldn't be too hard to fathom that she was doing the "just do what needs to be done to get out", and worry about the other stuff later. Get to Canada with the girls, and let the other chips fall where they may. I am sure she was hoping he wouldn't give a rat's *advertiser censored*, as he hadn't up until the point Nancy's friends say in the affadavit, where he started acting like a "dad". I am guessing at that point she was probably thinking "Now what do I do?".

 

[fran]

Interesting that Heather's ex husband is supporting Brad, with an affidavit on his behalf.

Strange, really strange.

Why would you stay friends with someone who had an affair with your, then wife?:crazy:

Interesting dynamics here at work......{{shakes head in amazement}}


fran

 

[Bob&Bob]

Maybe he thought about it and decided he liked
Brad more than Heather.