In Touch article

[songline]

I read the article and it made me cry, not to think of the life she led for so long, but to think of the life that is within her reach now. A life that she may not ever be able to grab, even though she has been "rescued".
The following is based on personal experience, 8 days as compared to 18 years, and that is all the info that I will share on that, however, it is still experience.

Jaycee no longer has to live in those conditions, however she has to live in the same body forever. Every mark, every scar, every stretch mark, they all have stories, most of them terrifying and heartbreaking. We don't know those stories, but she does, and she has to see the reminders every day.
Jaycee knows first hand a truth that most of us only understand from an outside perspective...people are crazy and they will hurt you, for fun, for sport, for the purpose of assuaging their own demons, but people hurt people. That will make friendships, romance, normal relationships, hard if not impossible.
No matter how many times she is told that her family loves her, that they looked for her and missed her, it will never be enough. The seeds of doubt will be there. Maybe a good deal of anger and depression.
Her life was uprooted, everything she knew, her very name and sense of self taken away, and 18 years ago she adjusted. Now, the life she adjusted to is gone, and she has to adjust again. Most people couldn't do it once, I hope and pray that Jaycee can beat the odds and do it twice.
She gave herself away. (This is the part that is hard for me. ) That is the hardest part for most survivors. The being taken is hard enough and you have to understand that it is a consolation for some victims that they were grabbed off a street where they were supposed to be, as opposed to being taken or victimized because they were somewhere they shouldn't have been. But, in long term survival cases, there is also the distinction between what the victim had taken and what the victim gave willingly in the name of survival. How much did she give, and how much does she have left? My guess is she gave everything, and the Jaycee that came home is little more than a shell.
It is possible to return, at least in part, to a normal life, but there are things that will carry with her for the rest of her life. Things that she feels set her apart, even if no one else feels that way. Sounds, smells, a voice, a phrase, a stranger to close to her in the store. This will be a lifelong struggle, and there are treatments, but there is no cure.
The news that we are hearing is hopeful, but even at this point it is guardedly hopeful, and I feel that there is a lot that the public doesn't know and probably doesn't want to.

first of all GOD BLESS YOU - BLESS YOUR HEART raying:

You are right...there are things that do not get cured, one just learns how to live with it better.

I think because she had 11 normal years she was able to be there for the 2 girls.
the same thing will keep her going forward as she is relearning who she is, what she likes, what she wants etc....
Will she ever be the girl she may have been if it did not happen. NO she won't. But like Elizabeth she will be lucky to afford much therapy, and much support.
that does make a difference. And when she begins to have new stories to replace the old ones she will have other reference points.
But the fear in her gut will always be there, no matter how safe.
It will take much time....But she may turn it into a win for her and her girls.
She is a hero.

 

[songline]

Thank you, not my kids. Although I agree with you in many ways, Jaycee has also been given a gift if she chooses to see it as such. I believe Terry understands this and it's the reason she wants people to help establish an advocacy for changes in the laws - so this will never happen to another child.

I seldom share my spiritual beliefs because they are NOT religious and I don't want to debate religion, but I will for a moment. I believe Jaycee is an angel that chose to come to earth to help other children. She will survive because it is her mission to do so. It is no accident that Terry is her mother and it's no accident that many of us are here to help them.

WOW! I used to teach this kind of thinking :blowkiss:
I agree, but she is still living in a body with its limitations,
It will take a long time before she can actually see what you see, because one need to learn
how to look at things the way you do and there are some other major priorities for now.

 

[songline]

I agree that this a gift and it is a gift not only to her, but to the rest of her family, definitely to her girls, and quite possibly to some other families that are looking for a missing relative. (I say some, because there are many out there that believe that their relative is deceased, they have come to terms and find it easier to think that than to believe they are still alive in conditions like Jaycee was in.)

I think it was truly an act of God that she was ever found at all. I am absolutely amazed. I don't want to come across as thinking that it would have been better had she never been found, since that is not what I am thinking. Not even close.
But there are only really two ways that it can go from here. Either she will recover to the point that she is a beacon of hope and a force for change, or the damage that has been done will prove to be too great to ever be undone.
I don't know which it will be, I of course hope for the former. There are observations and insight that Jaycee possesses that we probably will never be able to obtain from anyone else. And I hope that we can get them.
But I also see a lot of people that seem to think that she can see a therapist twice a week, and the rest of the time she is bonding with her family, enjoying her freedom, pigging out on junk food and laughing in the sun.
It's not like that, and it may never be. She is going to need intensive one on one therapy with different counselors, probably trained in different areas of attachment, depression and anxiety. There are going to be physical repercussions, she will need a very attentive doctor to help her with that, as Jaycee is more than likely not good at describing her pains or physical issues, having been forced to repress and ignore for so long. I have no doubt that there is love and laughter in her life and that she is enjoying her freedom as well, but for her it has to be a little bit like coming home from a third world country.
There are things that she will struggle with. She might be stronger than the issues, she may not. I hope she is, and I hope that regardless of the effects on Jaycee herself that her family keeps fighting to change the laws, since that is desperately needed. But it needs to be understood that Jaycee herself may not ever be able to join that fight in more than a surface way of having her story to use as a basis for the claim that these things do happen.
I wish her the best, but it is so hard for me to see how some people think her recovery should be going. At this point, the recovery itself more than likely hasn't even started yet. She will have to be into a routine and resocialized before the indepth healing can even start.

:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap: GREAT POST.

 

[not_my_kids]

The things that Jaycee has going for her are very positive. Support from her family, seems like support from her community, the fact hat her attackers have been jailed, what I pray is top notch physical and psychological treatment.
I'm not saying she can't recover, she can, but there is no guarantee that she will. The fact that she did have those 11 years of normalcy before and the fact that she has her girls still with her now, are very positive. Her chances are good, but I saw in the article the "family friend" saying that in a year or so when it goes to trial, she will be ready and want to testify. I can't bank on that, and it kinda pizzed me off, because they seem to be saying that within a year we can all expect that Jaycee will be completely healed, the past fully behind her. It doesn't work that fast, not even with a team of counselors. She will heal, but not that fast.

 

[songline]

The things that Jaycee has that are very positive. Support from her family, seems like support from her community, the fact hat her attackers have been jailed, what I pray is top notch physical and psychological treatment.
I'm not saying she can't recover, she can, but there is no guarantee that she will. The fact that she did have those 11 years of normalcy before and the fact that she has her girls still with her now, are very positive. Her chances are good, but I saw in the article the "family friend" saying that in a year or so when it goes to trial, she will be ready and want to testify. I can't bank on that, and it kinda pizzed me off, because they seem to be saying that within a year we can all expect that Jaycee will be completely healed, the past fully behind her. It doesn't work that fast, not even with a team of counselors. She will heal, but not that fast.

Well...they are dealing with the media...The key is to make the media go away...
that is when she begins to heal, that is when she can take baby steps out in public (disguised of course).
It took Elizabeth Smart 6 years to go to trial.

RELAX...You are right and it will take many years.

Their job is to get rid of the tabloids, the media, and all the voyeurs.
Don't get pizzed off....It is not good for you

 

[my2sisters]

Jaycee developed a talent, on her own, as a graphic artist and printer. She was able to keep her right brain organized and creative. We've had many accounts from people that have met her and said she was very professional and sweet. Carl Probyn said that her personality is what saved her. It will continue to save her as she heals. IMO

 

[kbl8201]

Jaycee developed a talent, on her own, as a graphic artist and printer. She was able to keep her right brain organized and creative. We've had many accounts from people that have met her and said she was very professional and sweet. Carl Probyn said that her personality is what saved her. It will continue to save her as she heals. IMO

of course this is going to take a long process for to heal. but i dont get what i sse as some people here having a negative outlook to it. jaycee survived for 18 years in that living hell and she didnt end up in an insane asylum. she perservered for the sake of her kids. her kids are with her now. her real family is with her now. she has tons of support from them and from many people she's never even met (like us).. like you said, she has professional talent that she developed while this was going on.
i think her future is bright

 

[not_my_kids]

of course this is going to take a long process for to heal. but i dont get what i sse as some people here having a negative outlook to it. jaycee survived for 18 years in that living hell and she didnt end up in an insane asylum. she perservered for the sake of her kids. her kids are with her now. her real family is with her now. she has tons of support from them and from many people she's never even met (like us).. like you said, she has professional talent that she developed while this was going on.
i think her future is bright

i don't really have a negative outlook, it's more of a reserved positive attitude. I do believe that she will heal. I am just leaving myself open for possibility that she may not. I believe that she can, whether she will is ultimately up to her.
I think it's good that she has her girls with her, and the support system will be tremendously helpful. But, in order to survive in that type of environment, there is a part of a person that has to be shut down. Turning it back on is scary and painful and a lot of work.
She has a professional talent, yes. That she may never wish to have anything to do with again, since it may also have been an escape technique for her. We hear reports, but it tells us nothing of what's going on inside her soul. And that's not for me to say, I make general statements based on what I have been told through the past 11 years of therapy. So, no, I don't feel that she has a bleak outlook, it has just been irritating me to hear so many people talk about how well she's healing (when they have no idea either), or try to put a time frame on it (like in the InTouch article.)

 

[kbl8201]

i don't really have a negative outlook, it's more of a reserved positive attitude. I do believe that she will heal. I am just leaving myself open for possibility that she may not. I believe that she can, whether she will is ultimately up to her.
I think it's good that she has her girls with her, and the support system will be tremendously helpful. But, in order to survive in that type of environment, there is a part of a person that has to be shut down. Turning it back on is scary and painful and a lot of work.
She has a professional talent, yes. That she may never wish to have anything to do with again, since it may also have been an escape technique for her. We hear reports, but it tells us nothing of what's going on inside her soul. And that's not for me to say, I make general statements based on what I have been told through the past 11 years of therapy. So, no, I don't feel that she has a bleak outlook, it has just been irritating me to hear so many people talk about how well she's healing (when they have no idea either), or try to put a time frame on it (like in the InTouch article.)

all very solid points. and i dont pretend to know whats going on in her mind or soul. i just think the fact that she has that support system around her will help her get thru the pain she has to go thru now.

 

[songline]

i don't really have a negative outlook, it's more of a reserved positive attitude. I do believe that she will heal. I am just leaving myself open for possibility that she may not. I believe that she can, whether she will is ultimately up to her.
I think it's good that she has her girls with her, and the support system will be tremendously helpful. But, in order to survive in that type of environment, there is a part of a person that has to be shut down. Turning it back on is scary and painful and a lot of work.
She has a professional talent, yes. That she may never wish to have anything to do with again, since it may also have been an escape technique for her. We hear reports, but it tells us nothing of what's going on inside her soul. And that's not for me to say, I make general statements based on what I have been told through the past 11 years of therapy. So, no, I don't feel that she has a bleak outlook, it has just been irritating me to hear so many people talk about how well she's healing (when they have no idea either), or try to put a time frame on it (like in the InTouch article.)

HERE IS A THREAD FOR YOU...
[ame="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=90198"]People Magazine's Statement from Jaycee - Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community[/ame]

 

[Billylee]

I read the article and it made me cry, not to think of the life she led for so long, but to think of the life that is within her reach now. A life that she may not ever be able to grab, even though she has been "rescued".
The following is based on personal experience, 8 days as compared to 18 years, and that is all the info that I will share on that, however, it is still experience.

Jaycee no longer has to live in those conditions, however she has to live in the same body forever. Every mark, every scar, every stretch mark, they all have stories, most of them terrifying and heartbreaking. We don't know those stories, but she does, and she has to see the reminders every day. Jaycee knows first hand a truth that most of us only understand from an outside perspective...people are crazy and they will hurt you, for fun, for sport, for the purpose of assuaging their own demons, but people hurt people. That will make friendships, romance, normal relationships, hard if not impossible.
No matter how many times she is told that her family loves her, that they looked for her and missed her, it will never be enough. The seeds of doubt will be there. Maybe a good deal of anger and depression.
Her life was uprooted, everything she knew, her very name and sense of self taken away, and 18 years ago she adjusted. Now, the life she adjusted to is gone, and she has to adjust again. Most people couldn't do it once, I hope and pray that Jaycee can beat the odds and do it twice.
She gave herself away. (This is the part that is hard for me. ) That is the hardest part for most survivors. The being taken is hard enough and you have to understand that it is a consolation for some victims that they were grabbed off a street where they were supposed to be, as opposed to being taken or victimized because they were somewhere they shouldn't have been. But, in long term survival cases, there is also the distinction between what the victim had taken and what the victim gave willingly in the name of survival. How much did she give, and how much does she have left? My guess is she gave everything, and the Jaycee that came home is little more than a shell.
It is possible to return, at least in part, to a normal life, but there are things that will carry with her for the rest of her life. Things that she feels set her apart, even if no one else feels that way. Sounds, smells, a voice, a phrase, a stranger to close to her in the store. This will be a lifelong struggle, and there are treatments, but there is no cure.
The news that we are hearing is hopeful, but even at this point it is guardedly hopeful, and I feel that there is a lot that the public doesn't know and probably doesn't want to.

Great post! Let's not forget that Jaycee's biggest "mark", that she will never be able to get away from, is her children. Now, I'm not saying she'd want to, ever.....and, in fact, it could very well be that through maternal instincts, they were indeed her salvation and gave her hope and kept her alive. What I'm saying is that, unlike most other cases where the victim did not have the perp's children, no matter how much she heals and tries to distance herself from him and the pain he caused her, she will always have to deal with the fact that her children are Phillip's offspring. I personally think that this is the hardest thing she will (or anyone would) ever have to deal with mentally and I hope and pray for her that she can somehow come to terms with it all and somehow leave it all behind. I can't imagine what she is starting to go through....trying to sort it all out in her mind....I truly wish the media would just leave her alone for at least the next 15 years or so. raying:

 

[kbl8201]

Great post! Let's not forget that Jaycee's biggest "mark", that she will never be able to get away from, is her children. Now, I'm not saying she'd want to, ever.....and, in fact, it could very well be that through maternal instincts, they were indeed her salvation and gave her hope and kept her alive. What I'm saying is that, unlike most other cases where the victim did not have the perp's children, no matter how much she heals and tries to distance herself from him and the pain he caused her, she will always have to deal with the fact that her children are Phillip's offspring. I personally think that this is the hardest thing she will (or anyone would) ever have to deal with mentally and I hope and pray for her that she can somehow come to terms with it all and somehow leave it all behind. I can't imagine what she is starting to go through....trying to sort it all out in her mind....I truly wish the media would just leave her alone for at least the next 15 years or so. raying:

i think the fact that she saw them every day for the last 11 to 15 years and she still was connected to them is a huge point in the right direction. i dont think she looks at them and sees him. i think she looks at them and sees herself.
jmo

 

[not_my_kids]

I wish she would be left alone too, but maybe she doesn't feel the same. With the statement and photo in People slated to drop tomorrow morning, I'll hold off on anything further. She may be ready, and if she really is, that is great, as it shows a lack of shame on her part, which I fear would be one of her biggest stumbling blocks. I'll wait until then, if she is ready to face the media and speak to the public, then I have nothing to say on the subject. She has to decide when she's ready, and if she's ready now, then anything that I can say is 100% moot.

ETA: Except to say congratulations, that wouldn't be moot. And if she is ready, then all I can do is congratulate her.

 

[kbl8201]

I wish she would be left alone too, but maybe she doesn't feel the same. With the statement and photo in People slated to drop tomorrow morning, I'll hold off on anything further. She may be ready, and if she really is, that is great, as it shows a lack of shame on her part, which I fear would be one of her biggest stumbling blocks. I'll wait until then, if she is ready to face the media and speak to the public, then I have nothing to say on the subject. She has to decide when she's ready, and if she's ready now, then anything that I can say is 100% moot.

ETA: Except to say congratulations, that wouldn't be moot. And if she is ready, then all I can do is congratulate her.

think her satement is in writing but it's a statement all the same. a big step foward.

 

[flourish]

i think the fact that she saw them every day for the last 11 to 15 years and she still was connected to them is a huge point in the right direction. i dont think she looks at them and sees him. i think she looks at them and sees herself.
jmo

respectfully bolded by me, for emphasis

I really hope that is the case There are a lot of people who have very mixed feelings, and sometimes incredible animosity towards the other bio parent of their children, and, unfortunately, I think it's safe to say that in history, there have been children born to rape victims. I also think it's safe to say many, all hopefully, mothers loved them despite their violent conception. That being said, I was decidedly relieved when my son did not resemble his bio father (which was not rape, just to be super clear)

 

[kbl8201]

respectfully bolded by me, for emphasis

I really hope that is the case There are a lot of people who have very mixed feelings, and sometimes incredible animosity towards the other bio parent of their children, and, unfortunately, I think it's safe to say that in history, there have been children born to rape victims whose mothers loved them despite their violent conception. That being said, I was decidedly relieved when my son did not resemble his bio father (which was not rape, just to be super clear)

i think the bigger problem for jaycee, was the fear her mom and stepdad wouldnt accept her girls. her first words to terry (after jaycee confirmed her idenetity to her) were "hi mom i have babies' and she said the same thing to carl too.

 

[smart blonde]

Great post! Let's not forget that Jaycee's biggest "mark", that she will never be able to get away from, is her children. Now, I'm not saying she'd want to, ever.....and, in fact, it could very well be that through maternal instincts, they were indeed her salvation and gave her hope and kept her alive. What I'm saying is that, unlike most other cases where the victim did not have the perp's children, no matter how much she heals and tries to distance herself from him and the pain he caused her, she will always have to deal with the fact that her children are Phillip's offspring. I personally think that this is the hardest thing she will (or anyone would) ever have to deal with mentally and I hope and pray for her that she can somehow come to terms with it all and somehow leave it all behind. I can't imagine what she is starting to go through....trying to sort it all out in her mind....I truly wish the media would just leave her alone for at least the next 15 years or so. raying:

What you see, and state, as Jaycee's "biggest mark, that she will never be able to get away from, is her children".....

..... Jaycee and family, no doubt in my mind, see Jaycee's children as her biggest blessing, that she would never want to be away from. Those girls are her children. They are her mother's grandchildren, her aunt's nieces.

They are part of Jaycee. They came from Jaycee. How could they be viewed by Jaycee or Jaycee's family with anything but love?

That family lost one member 18 years ago, but by the grace of God, they recovered that family member, plus two more. I doubt at this point they feel anything but blessed to have Jaycee, and yes, her children, home.

I am a mother. I can't imagine feeling anything less.

 

[smart blonde]

i think the fact that she saw them every day for the last 11 to 15 years and she still was connected to them is a huge point in the right direction. i dont think she looks at them and sees him. i think she looks at them and sees herself.
jmo

I completely agree. I think she looks at them and see's them for who they are... her children.

 

[kbl8201]

What you see, and state, as Jaycee's "biggest mark, that she will never be able to get away from, is her children".....

..... Jaycee and family, no doubt in my mind, see Jaycee's children as her biggest blessing, that she would never want to be away from. Those girls are her children. They are her mother's grandchildren, her aunt's nieces.

They are part of Jaycee. They came from Jaycee. How could they be viewed by Jaycee or Jaycee's family with anything but love?

That family lost one member 18 years ago, but by the grace of God, they recovered that family member, plus two more. I doubt at this point they feel anything but blessed to have Jaycee, and yes, her children, home.

I am a mother. I can't imagine feeling anything less.

awesome post. while i did mention i think jaycee feared her parents reaction, it was unfounded......

 

[not_my_kids]

think her satement is in writing but it's a statement all the same. a big step foward.

Yeah, i know. Hear, read, I guess online it's all the same.