This comment is slightly off-topic, but also on topic. I fail to understand the mentality so prevalent today among women that they "must" have a man in their life. So many women take up with men without taking any time to consider what type of person this man is, to learn about his character, etc. That is a sorry thing when it involves only the woman because it makes one wonder why these women don't think more of themselves. But, it is inexcusable when children are involved.
IMO BD placed having a man in her life ahead of everything - including the emotional and physical needs and safety of her minor children. That she continued to have anything to do with him after even one iota of suspicion fell on SA makes HD's disappearance an even more monstrous tragedy. BD appeared to care so little for HD in life, and even less after her disappearance. I wish all women would wake-up and be very choosey about the men they allow into their lives. If BD had been more choosy HD might still be alive today. JMHO
bbm
Wow, Kateyes -- You are totally on target! Let me say first that I am fortunate that I have had a good DH for over 30 years and counting, and that is more rare than it should be.
Nevertheless.... I can remember a couple of my mother's friends who were that way -- they had had a good DH for a number of years, lost him to death, and almost immediately were in search of another one. And I have seen a couple of women co-workers who have done the same thing, mainly due to divorce, and they are now strapped with something they wish they did not have.... It's like they can't take a breath unless the man brings it to them....On the other hand, a couple of friends & co-workers have found very fine men for a second or third go-round. And when it is a bad match, the children DO pay a big price, knowing they should like this man, but also knowing he is not "Daddy," and wondering what they are doing wrong.
Yes, as Flannery O'Connor wrote, "A good man is hard to find," but "haste makes waste." Two little sayings that make sense here. And often the ones who made bad choices don't want to admit to the world, and certainly not themselves, that they have made a mistake. <shaking my head> I earnestly hope that I will never feel that way -- there are some things worse than loneliness.
(I hope this doesn't sound too holier-than-thou, but it is something I have seen, and it hurts me so see it for all people in that situation... )
And who knows what this choice means (meant) for Hailey...