Australia - Allison Baden-Clay, 43, Brisbane QLD, 19 April 2012 - #10

[royster]

No I just tend to tell it like it is. But you have to admit after 10 threads when people bring up stuff from Thread 5 ( for example) that has been hashed to death and then factualised maybe in Thread 7 it gets a bit frustrating??

Bedtime and a holiday away from this thread......methinks:seeya:

First world problems!

 

[willough]

dont forget he does take the sim cards....

Thank god those things dont have an electrical "PING"....The boyfriend might have had his *advertiser censored* blown off.....:floorlaugh: That's before the police found him.



Yeah, lets stop the bickering....I agree the PIG comment wasnt nice, but chose not to respond....My hubby is a police officer and I dont like that term....because in reality he is more of a DOG, than a PIG (joking). Though I should be happy that atleast he isnt GBC................A RAT!!!

 

[CJ60]

I believe it is against TOS.
I for one take great offence at those hard working individuals being called offensive names.

Spelling and grammar erros are not on the same par as that.:maddening:

Thank you Acer,

The Police and SES have spent hundreds of hours, first looking for Allison, and now trying to bring her killer to justice. Some have even risked their lives searching abandoned mines. I take no notice of spelling/grammar - but find the term 'pigs' highly offensive.

 

[Schmickthespy]

I'll admit I am new to this thread and there is no way I was going to read hundreds of posts in 10 threads - impossible. I attempted it but a lot of it is just weeding through speculation and not getting many facts so I wanted a fresh perspective with the last thread. Please be patient with some of us newbies

 

[Woombite]

Hmmm. Maybe they were in conflict before Thurs night hence the kids going to the grandys for a sleepover on a school night? Allison had hair appt, he may have had after hours real estate or community stuff happening before going home and discussing terms of separation eg where GBC or ABC will live post sep, maybe arguments over 'shared care' proposed arrangements of the kids. Pretty obvious there would not be $ for family lawyers so were trying to sort out a possible parenting plan before things detracted. Pure speculation but I have had to mediate warring parents and it gets very ugly.

 

[Ixnaye]

Scratches at the cross country could have been from Mistress or Allison interesting point, anything is possible.

I went and rounded up my ex husbands mistress (she genuinely didn't know he was attached and was just as angry as me) I bought her home with me and we both sat and waited together for him to come home.....lets just say we were both just short, slightly built women but it wasn't pretty! As they say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned......and 2 scorned women is even worse!

 

[JK673]

First world problems!

.....

 

[willough]

Scratches at the cross country could have been from Mistress or Allison interesting point, anything is possible.

I went and rounded up my ex husbands mistress (she genuinely didn't know he was attached and was just as angry as me) I bought her home with me and we both sat and waited together for him to come home.....lets just say we were both just short, slightly built women but it wasn't pretty! As they say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned......and 2 scorned women is even worse!

That sounds like an awful situation.

But I like the sound of what you both did......GO GET EM TIGER, I say.

 

[Aussie_expat.sg]

I don't feel we have enough information to be in a good position to make really nasty judgements about her character. We don't know she was "happy to flaunt" anything. We have no ideas what kind of BS he fed her about the state of the marriage. I don't think calling her behaviour 'poor judgement' is a downgrade-we dont know everything about the situation. Personally I feel it is premature to just flat out attack this woman.

All just my opinion, and I recognise that it's an issue people are going to feel differently about.

Totally agree....and i've been in the position Allison was in, or similar anyway. My ex was having an affair at our shared place of work (his 2nd affair actually) and many knew about it before I did. He denied it, but eventually i proved it...caught them out. Yes, it was very painful, but i would never wish some of the things that people have suggested here on either my ex or his mistress. In fact, if she was outed like TM, I would feel sorry for her. She had her own insecurities leading her to the point where she went after my husband, and he was flattered and felt needed (I was quite secure and in a good job).

My view was that my hurt was secondary to the happiness of my children. I didn't want them to be unhappy with their Dad, or even to hate her because i think hate is self destructive. To this day, they don't like her, but they have a reasonably good relationship with their Dad and I feel proud that I behaved with dignity. Dignity is something that i value in others, and I would hope that in similar circumstances, I would behave like the Dickies...i hope so, I have so much admiration for them.

Neither my ex or his mistress would ever have physically hurt me. I'm sure of that. So if TM is found to have been involved, I will have a totally different view of her ...both of them.

Interesting situation I found myself in...i wanted him to leave the home, but his lawyer advised him to stay put if he didn't want to have to pay child support to me. We slept in separate rooms for months because I wouldn't leave the kids, and could not afford to take them out of the family home. It was very frustrating. Maybe Allison was caught in the same dilemma?

 

[CJ60]

sorry smarty..whoops I mean cj60..no link just like no link to say gbc is guilty but you seem to be ok with people writing that?? hmm
realistically...none of us knew her, and it is quite possible she had a relationship..without anyone one in her friends or family knowing..not everyone is open about that stuff.

Not saying anything against her, I don't know her!! But I have a friend who was to us, and her family and school..and other parents..a perfect, pillar of the community, a part of everything..as business woman...but we saw a different person behind closed doors...at times a screaming looney, who took swings at her husband, screamed in his face....and you know what? she recently left and had pleasure in telling everyone she had been having affairs for years....but no one had had a clue

Only they know how she was ...so please don't judge my comments because they are different to your theory.

Not being smart,
We use the term JMO, IMO. Then we don't have to put a link.
Thanks, Bushchik.

 

[xfiles]

Quote:
Originally Posted by minni
welcome royster!! this is a great post IMO. I know through personal experience...that some woman are magentic and attract EVERYONE. they are kind, intelligent, sweet, attractive, and sometimes a narcissistic control freak 'lands them'. It doesnt stay happy families forever though, as the narcissist stops feeling good about himself whenever he is around this more intelligent, more likeable, more 'BETTER" person. I think a man who found himself in this position would seek out a mistress to pump him up. Having said mistress would not mean he loves his wife any less, but wants her to suffer nonetheless because inadvertently she makes him feel bad. I imagine that a man like this would kill his wife or any man that she might decide to be with. I M O



I totally agree, especially with minni. This actually happened to me, my partner idolised me, had me on a pedestal, and used me to boost his own standing in his work and in the community. People said that since I came into his life he looked so happy and seemed so in love. However due to his own low self esteem it seems he took several lovers, and cheated on me more than once, although i didnt know at the time. I suspected with a few different women, but he always denied it, and information came my way after we split up. With the women I knew of (I had met some of them through his work) they were the types that would have fallen for a lot of his self-promotion and false self, and been in awe of him and probably felt so grateful they had scored him they would have really boosted his ego. He was still in love with me and ultimately for important occasions he always wanted me on his arm. He couldnt bear the thought of me being with anyone else and was always worried I would be 'snapped up' by some better looking, richer, more connected guy. Despite the fact that I was totally faithful to him, and really showed him I loved him and put everything into the relationship, I believe he grew to hate me and what I represented. He couldnt stand me being unhappy about his behaviour towards other women, and didnt want it mentioned. (although i didnt know about the affairs at the time, I did observe his constant flirting, obsessive fixation on certain women when we went out to functions and events, and he always had lots of times he was unavailable and i couldnt contact him which were never explained). He eventually got violent with me and it was always as a way to shut me up. I could never speak about any of his behaviour, or query any of his suspicious answers to my questions, even if I tried to do it nicely and calmly, without him going into a rage. He wasn't violent to me on more than a few occsions, but other times he was very menacing and threatening, and it really frightened me, which contributed to me ending the relationship. His violence wasn't severe, but on one occasion he did go too far. I won't go into it right now, but it was all about silencing me.

I feel this is similar to the scenario with GBC and Allison, and the mistresses. As for the mistresses, i have no compassion for any of them. I dont agree with all this talk of 'everyones different', you don't know what they're like, you dont know the situation etc. There is one thing you do know when you have an affair with someone married - you are contributing to them cheating on their wife, you are playing an active part in a betrayal. The married person you are having an affair with is lying to his wife and covering up, and the wife is probably distressed and upset and wondering what the truth is. You've probably even been introduced to the wife, which is a creepy feeling for her. It's very distressing and screws with your mind. I want to keep the focus on Allison here, and what she has experienced, as far as I am concerned I have no time and energy for the problems or concerns of any of the other players in this sordid and tragic situation - they don't deserve it and can go deal with their distress on their own.

Beautifully said and I couldn't agree with you more.

 

[justice23]

Does anyone remember a post early on when a poster came on with info regarding the scratches on GBC, she/he worked at a doctor’s office and remembered GBC coming in to see the doctors BEFORE Allison went missing? (don’t remember the day it was either on Thursday or a few days before) Poster observed scratches on GBC face?

I just remembered this, when I read the recent post about him possibly having scratches at the school on Thursday
I don’t think anyone paid attention to this at the time

 

[Reginald2]

Thank god those things dont have an electrical "PING"....The boyfriend might have had his *advertiser censored* blown off.....:floorlaugh: That's before the police found him.



Yeah, lets stop the bickering....I agree the PIG comment wasnt nice, but chose not to respond....My hubby is a police officer and I dont like that term....because in reality he is more of a DOG, than a PIG (joking). Though I should be happy that atleast he isnt GBC................A RAT!!!

Spell DOG backward and it may be closer to the truth. Respect for authority is what we lack in our society today, be it police, teachers, ambulance officers, fire fighers, nurses.....they ALL try and get us to act responsibly to what they know, but often we think we know better!

 

[willough]

Totally agree....and i've been in the position Allison was in, or similar anyway. My ex was having an affair at our shared place of work (his 2nd affair actually) and many knew about it before I did. He denied it, but eventually i proved it...caught them out. Yes, it was very painful, but i would never wish some of the things that people have suggested here on either my ex or his mistress. In fact, if she was outed like TM, I would feel sorry for her. She had her own insecurities leading her to the point where she went after my husband, and he was flattered and felt needed (I was quite secure and in a good job).

My view was that my hurt was secondary to the happiness of my children. I didn't want them to be unhappy with their Dad, or even to hate her because i think hate is self destructive. To this day, they don't like her, but they have a reasonably good relationship with their Dad and I feel proud that I behaved with dignity. Dignity is something that i value in others, and I would hope that in similar circumstances, I would behave like the Dickies...i hope so, I have so much admiration for them.

Neither my ex or his mistress would ever have physically hurt me. I'm sure of that. So if TM is found to have been involved, I will have a totally different view of her ...both of them.

Interesting situation I found myself in...i wanted him to leave the home, but his lawyer advised him to stay put if he didn't want to have to pay child support to me. We slept in separate rooms for months because I wouldn't leave the kids, and could not afford to take them out of the family home. It was very frustrating. Maybe Allison was caught in the same dilemma?

I agree....and you sound like a lovely person. Had there not been a murder, with the affair being part of the investigation....then I would feel for her. But my gut is telling me, that there is more to this than meets the eye. Looking at the releasing of information.......It seems to be coming out in chapters, almost in formation....of a novel.....with each bit opening up more, to get us closer to what happened to Allison. This isnt gonna be pretty (as per hawkins saying)

 

[CaseClosed]

I'll admit I am new to this thread and there is no way I was going to read hundreds of posts in 10 threads - impossible. I attempted it but a lot of it is just weeding through speculation and not getting many facts so I wanted a fresh perspective with the last thread. Please be patient with some of us newbies

I think most people here try to be patient. I recommend you read at least some of the info before the current thread. It really helps understand what is currently being discussed. I, for example, did not join in the beginning but I took some days to read all the previous threads before posting anything and understanding what other were discussing. Please take this as a friendly suggestion, not an attack or anything like that. :tyou:

 

[JK673]

Spell DOG backward and it may be closer to the truth. Respect for authority is what we lack in our society today, be it police, teachers, ambulance officers, fire fighers, nurses.....they ALL try and get us to act responsibly to what they know, but often we think we know better!

And with a lot of people it is a BEEP-load more than "often" where did the good old days go?? Were there any?

 

[Ixnaye]

Love, lust, betrayal makes people do really crazy, irrational things....I think that house was a pressure cooker.

 

[Fuskier]

I cant lie......Unless we know of the mechanics within that home....We dont know. Maybe Allison was abusive, maybe she belittled him and this drove him too an affair....Maybe he snapped after being belittled for years....But still no matter what may have been happening, that is all and all negative to Allison's manner....................I still come around to the point, that if she was like this, why didnt he leave her, since he had a chance with Tm?.....(I personally think TM is pretty.....Allison is pretty too, they are pretty in different ways)

NOTHING IS EXCUSE....OR SHOULD COME TO MURDER, no matter how bad, she may have been.



Disclaimer : I am in no way stating I feel Allison was a bad person, as I dont feel that way about her....But, adding to a possible perspective put out there,

Think about the people who may wish to create 'doubt' and allege that GBC has scratches on the Thursday. Who saw them? Which part of his body? What kind of clothing did he have on? etc. Doctor's surgeries are confidential and staff who work there are bound by confidentiality. There is no evidence on this thread, only rumour again. Creating doubt is a defence strategy.

 

[willough]

Spell DOG backward and it may be closer to the truth. Respect for authority is what we lack in our society today, be it police, teachers, ambulance officers, fire fighers, nurses.....they ALL try and get us to act responsibly to what they know, but often we think we know better!

I agree completely and yeah, hubby is a pretty good fella.....especially when he helps with the housework (winks).

 

[Reginald2]

Hi Reginald2. I think you said Allison took over the role of BB? Are you able to tell us what BB did? thanks

Sorry. Re-read that and realised I had skipped aa bit.
BB Was the propery manager and I had beleive he ha
d bought in to the business.
When he left ABC took over which made sense if she had some time on her hands.