GUILTY GA - Antonio Santiago, 13 mos, Brunswick, 21 March 2013 - #1

[DairyGirl]

I can understand the mother's feelings. I really do. I lost a baby at 20 weeks. My doctor gave me the choice to wait for labor and deliver a dead baby or have surgery to have it removed. He told me that if I had surgery I wouldn't be able to see the baby because of it's condition. It was an agonizing choice but I was devastated and I just wanted it over. I couldn't stand the thought of carrying a dead baby in my womb. I had the surgery and when I woke up the doctor told me it was a little boy and he was surprisingly intact (sorry for the graphic description). I still didn't want to see him. I just couldn't bare to have my last memory of my baby like that. I allowed the hospital to dispose of him, too. I couldn't handle it emotionally and I trusted my doctor, who I have known for years and delivered by other child (and a subsequent child years later) and he knew what I could handle and I let him make the decision. I don't regret it. It was the best I could do at the time. That was 23 years ago and all I have left of my son is an old ultrasound picture, and the memories of him moving in my womb. And I wouldn't want any other memories.

 

[Trident]

Because one of "their" babies wasn't shot in the face while sleeping. That is why, that is reality.

If it was, wouldn't it have been a hate crime, subject to even stronger penalties?

 

[Elley Mae]

I can understand the mother's feelings. I really do. I lost a baby at 20 weeks. My doctor gave me the choice to wait for labor and deliver a dead baby or have surgery to have it removed. He told me that if I had surgery I wouldn't be able to see the baby because of it's condition. It was an agonizing choice but I was devastated and I just wanted it over. I couldn't stand the thought of carrying a dead baby in my womb. I had the surgery and when I woke up the doctor told me it was a little boy and he was surprisingly intact (sorry for the graphic description). I still didn't want to see him. I just couldn't bare to have my last memory of my baby like that. I allowed the hospital to dispose of him, too. I couldn't handle it emotionally and I trusted my doctor, who I have known for years and delivered by other child (and a subsequent child years later) and he knew what I could handle and I let him make the decision. I don't regret it. It was the best I could do at the time. That was 23 years ago and all I have left of my son is an old ultrasound picture, and the memories of him moving in my womb. And I wouldn't want any other memories.

I totally understand your decision as I would have done the same. I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[Sistah Sleuth]

I will not specifically discuss my suspicions due to the request of the mods. I have no problem with being wrong and I'm not one to stand with or for anyone when they are in the wrong and that would go for my children as well especially if they committed such a heinous act. It's just something about THIS case that is not sitting well with me. I'm not here to get angry with anyone or make anyone angry with me. I don't mind discussing facts or differing points of view as I respect everyone's opinions and theie right to voice them.

 

[Angelonline]

BBM - of course they never do lock them up, either as accessories, or for perjury. It seems our "justice" system thinks it's okay for family members to lie.

In my state several gang members shot a man in cold blood st a service station. Not only were they all tried and convicted, but also several family members that lied for them also got jail time. Just pointing out, that sometimes they are actually prosecuted. I think in a lot of cases though, lack of funds is the reason they aren't charged. An arrest and conviction costs money, and most departments are short on funds now days.

 

[Trident]

I will not specifically discuss my suspicions due to the request of the mods. I have no problem with being wrong and I'm not one to stand with or for anyone when they are in the wrong and that would go for my children as well especially if they committed such a heinous act. It's just something about THIS case that is not sitting well with me. I'm not here to get angry with anyone or make anyone angry with me. I don't mind discussing facts or differing points of view as I respect everyone's opinions and theie right to voice them.

Everyone is entitled to their "suspicions", I have a few of my own. Meanwhile, back at the jail, there are two "alleged" murderers, and I hope they get the book thrown at them if they are guilty.

 

[Cappuccino]

If it was, wouldn't it have been a hate crime, subject to even stronger penalties?

No, why would it be? The motive was robbery, not race, gender or sexuality.

 

[Sistah Sleuth]

Everyone is entitled to their "suspicions", I have a few of my own. Meanwhile, back at the jail, there are two "alleged" murderers, and I hope they get the book thrown at them if they are guilty.

I hope for the same if they are guilty or if someone else is guilty.

 

[Sonya610]

<mod snip>

Everyone is entitled to their "suspicions", I have a few of my own. Meanwhile, back at the jail, there are two "alleged" murderers, and I hope they get the book thrown at them if they are guilty.

Yeah the problem is the kid is 17 and the DP doesn't apply....which means no plea bargain.

Then again he is dumb and will likely plead out when under pressure. What would the defense say? Uhhh....see it was an accident....he didn't mean to shoot the baby it was just an accident. Making the taxpayers fund a trial is not okay.

No decent defense attorney wants this case. Plus I am 98% sure LE will find that gun.

 

[necco]

I said it before and I'll say it again.

The family and community of the accused ARE in mourning. They are mourning the children they thought they knew. Their hopes and dreams of getting the accused out of poverty and the cycle of crime died on that sidewalk along with Antonio. It is a different kind of grief, but it is grief none the less. They will go through the same stages of grief as if those boys died, because, in a way, they have. And the first stage of grief is denial.

If the accused are guilty, I hope they get all that the law allows. (Truth be told, I probably hope they get MORE than the law allows, but that's my own vengeful spirit.) But unless their families are complicit, they get nothing but sympathy from me. It is hard to accept that someone you love is capable of a heinous crime, I've been there. It takes a while to sink in.

 

[Trident]

No, why would it be? The motive was robbery, not race, gender or sexuality.

True, and it only takes a word or two to change the whole scenerio. I don't believe most of us even think in those terms, but I believe some do and play it to the hilt. Seems this mother was more interested in her child than relations with her "neighbors". So sad for her.

'Course this is only my opinion.

 

[jjenny]

I said it before and I'll say it again.

The family and community of the accused ARE in mourning. They are mourning the children they thought they knew. Their hopes and dreams of getting the accused out of poverty and the cycle of crime died on that sidewalk along with Antonio. It is a different kind of grief, but it is grief none the less. They will go through the same stages of grief as if those boys died, because, in a way, they have. And the first stage of grief is denial.

If the accused are guilty, I hope they get all that the law allows. (Truth be told, I probably hope they get MORE than the law allows, but that's my own vengeful spirit.) But unless their families are complicit, they get nothing but sympathy from me. It is hard to accept that someone you love is capable of a heinous crime, I've been there. It takes a while to sink in.

One of the family members of the suspect claims he was at her home eating breakfast.

 

[necco]

One of the family members of the suspect claims he was at her home eating breakfast.

If she is lying and the accused are guilty, that would full under the "unless they are complicit" part of my statement.

 

[Salem]

MOM IS NOT A SUSPECT. ALL DISCUSSION OF HER AS A SUSPECT STOPS NOW.

ZERO TOLERANCE. IF THE ISSUE IS NOT RAISED IN MSM OR BY LE - TO'S WILL BE ISSUED.

This needs to stop guys. Mom and Dad are victims here. Arrests have been made. Please post accordingly.

Also DROP THE RACE DISCUSSION. IT IS NOT WARRANTED.

Salem

 

[PoirotryInMotion]

I said it before and I'll say it again.

The family and community of the accused ARE in mourning. They are mourning the children they thought they knew. Their hopes and dreams of getting the accused out of poverty and the cycle of crime died on that sidewalk along with Antonio. It is a different kind of grief, but it is grief none the less. They will go through the same stages of grief as if those boys died, because, in a way, they have. And the first stage of grief is denial.

If the accused are guilty, I hope they get all that the law allows. (Truth be told, I probably hope they get MORE than the law allows, but that's my own vengeful spirit.) But unless their families are complicit, they get nothing but sympathy from me. It is hard to accept that someone you love is capable of a heinous crime, I've been there. It takes a while to sink in.

Quoted because just so well put. I come from a family that's had both victims and victimizers. There is an excruciating sort of grief that goes with the latter that can be as immobilizing as the former. I suppose we all have experienced being victimized to varying degrees throughout our lifetimes. But when the one doing the victimization suddenly appears from within the family fold, it hits hard (clinical depression in my case). It turns upside down everything you thought you could trust or have faith in for awhile--makes you question your judgment, your safety in the world at large, even. I mean, if evil can arise from within your own family from a person you thought you knew well for a couple decades, well then....anything is possible, and nowhere is safe. Hard to put into words, but if you've ever experienced it you won't ever forget it.

Let all those who grieve, grieve.

 

[Tuffy]

I can understand the mother's feelings. I really do. I lost a baby at 20 weeks. My doctor gave me the choice to wait for labor and deliver a dead baby or have surgery to have it removed. He told me that if I had surgery I wouldn't be able to see the baby because of it's condition. It was an agonizing choice but I was devastated and I just wanted it over. I couldn't stand the thought of carrying a dead baby in my womb. I had the surgery and when I woke up the doctor told me it was a little boy and he was surprisingly intact (sorry for the graphic description). I still didn't want to see him. I just couldn't bare to have my last memory of my baby like that. I allowed the hospital to dispose of him, too. I couldn't handle it emotionally and I trusted my doctor, who I have known for years and delivered by other child (and a subsequent child years later) and he knew what I could handle and I let him make the decision. I don't regret it. It was the best I could do at the time. That was 23 years ago and all I have left of my son is an old ultrasound picture, and the memories of him moving in my womb. And I wouldn't want any other memories.

(((hugs)))

I'm so sorry that you went through that. Very heartbreaking, and I think that I might have made that choice too. I don't know that there's a "good" way to handle these things. You can only do what you need to do to cope with the loss.

 

[tlcya]

Bless Ms. Obley, for doing right. I can only imagine what it is like to be in her shoes right now, with certain, less law abiding members of her community threatening her. She no doubt knew when she made the call what sort of response she would receive from the criminal element, and yet she did not hesitate.

My heart goes out to her, I am sure she is devastated to know her nephew was involved in this shooting, and I thank her so much for doing what needed doing, despite that devastation.

 

[tlcya]

I wonder why it is so hard for some to separate the smaller segment of gang affiliated criminals in the community from the community as a whole.

The community as a whole is torn up because a baby is dead and two others are responsible. Period.

There is a small segment within that community who feels otherwise and are railing about the teens having been arrested.

The two are not one and the same and I really wish what I was reading here reflected that more clearly.

A couple of family members lying to cover for their own does not equal a community of people railing over two teens being wrongly accused.

The community of Brusnwick as a whole has been very supportive of the arrests and of their LE handling of this matter.

 

[tlcya]

MOM IS NOT A SUSPECT. ALL DISCUSSION OF HER AS A SUSPECT STOPS NOW.

ZERO TOLERANCE. IF THE ISSUE IS NOT RAISED IN MSM OR BY LE - TO'S WILL BE ISSUED.

This needs to stop guys. Mom and Dad are victims here. Arrests have been made. Please post accordingly.

Also DROP THE RACE DISCUSSION. IT IS NOT WARRANTED.

Salem

random BUMP

 

[PoirotryInMotion]

They are the true victims in this situation, their community is hurting.

Let us all get our priorities straight, the alleged perp's community is hurting and that is the most important thing to focus on.

If death threats are being made and babies are shot in the face we need to look beyond that and be sensitive to the needs and grief of those in the "community".

How about just making it a "priority" to be sensitive to anyone who is grieving, whether or not you can relate to that grief?

It IS possible to grieve with the mom, the dad, the community, and even the mom of the alleged shooter, all without ranking or prioritizing your empathy. Situations like these are usually 'no win' situations in the grief department.