Kathy your blogs really touch me. I totally understand your Abuse post. While I have thankfully never been physically abused by anyone, now that I have been estranged from my mother for a long time, I can say with certainty that there was definitely some emotional/psychological abuse that went on.
Without getting into too many details, I have attempted several times to reconcile with her. I now realize I do not miss her. I miss the idea of her, and who she used to be. The last time we spoke was the straw that broke the camels back. She has never shouldered any blame for what happened in our childhood but we were tensely trying to make small talk and got into a small argument where she threw out he completely unrelated "Yeah? Well your precious dad isn't so innocent. He cheated on me you know!"
That was it, I was done. Nothing we were talking about had any relation to my dad, and even after humiliating him before and through their divorce, she still continues to point the finger at him and drags his name though the mud. While I can't say whether the incident she refers to did or did not happen, it's coincidental that I've never heard about it before and she was saving it for a convenient time. :rolls eyes:
I also had issues with her and letters. She would write these sappy letters begging me to take her back and have a relationship with her... And in the next sentence blame me for everything. I never understood it. I used to read them and be hopeful and then just break down and cry, I finally just stopped opening them, just like you did with Marjorie's diatribes.
Anyways there is no rhyme or reason to this post, but your blog entry really hit home for me.
I hope everything is well in Sedona and that Alphonse is enjoying his mountain view.
Coeurfragile,
I have a Father who is a master at the quiet removal of affection.
All my life I have waited to be remembered.
He has no idea who I really am.
I may have not been what he deems a success.
But, I'm content with myself, and at the same time feel unworthy of affection.
We humans are just all messed up.
My mommie is my best friend.
She has been through so much sorrow, and abuse, that started at age 3.
She cried as we walked down Main Street, Disneyland. She'd never been on a vacation.
I am her protector. I'm rambling..I guess what I'm saying is: I love you.
..and I think my hormones are wonky today!! Pre-menopause!
Like you said, we realise now, we need to let it go, and take care of ourselves.
my keyboard is soggy.
Kathy your blogs really touch me. I totally understand your Abuse post. While I have thankfully never been physically abused by anyone, now that I have been estranged from my mother for a long time, I can say with certainty that there was definitely some emotional/psychological abuse that went on.
Without getting into too many details, I have attempted several times to reconcile with her. I now realize I do not miss her. I miss the idea of her, and who she used to be. The last time we spoke was the straw that broke the camels back. She has never shouldered any blame for what happened in our childhood but we were tensely trying to make small talk and got into a small argument where she threw out he completely unrelated "Yeah? Well your precious dad isn't so innocent. He cheated on me you know!"
That was it, I was done. Nothing we were talking about had any relation to my dad, and even after humiliating him before and through their divorce, she still continues to point the finger at him and drags his name though the mud. While I can't say whether the incident she refers to did or did not happen, it's coincidental that I've never heard about it before and she was saving it for a convenient time. :rolls eyes:
I also had issues with her and letters. She would write these sappy letters begging me to take her back and have a relationship with her... And in the next sentence blame me for everything. I never understood it. I used to read them and be hopeful and then just break down and cry, I finally just stopped opening them, just like you did with Marjorie's diatribes.
Anyways there is no rhyme or reason to this post, but your blog entry really hit home for me.
I hope everything is well in Sedona and that Alphonse is enjoying his mountain view.
KCL punkin, I just read your blog about Laura. I'm so sorry you lost your friend!
Your poem Flawless is really beautiful...
Coeurfragile,
I have a Father who is a master at the quiet removal of affection.
All my life I have waited to be remembered.
He has no idea who I really am.
I may have not been what he deems a success.
But, I'm content with myself, and at the same time feel unworthy of affection.
We humans are just all messed up.
My mommie is my best friend.
She has been through so much sorrow, and abuse, that started at age 3.
She cried as we walked down Main Street, Disneyland. She'd never been on a vacation.
I am her protector. I'm rambling..I guess what I'm saying is: I love you.
..and I think my hormones are wonky today!! Pre-menopause!
Like you said, we realise now, we need to let it go, and take care of ourselves.
my keyboard is soggy.
Has anyone read Nurmi's latest piece of work?? I feel physically sick! :stormingmad:
http://media2.abc15.com/html/pdf/ariasmotion.pdf
Hey Katie!
Have you ever seen the movie '5 Corners'?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093029/
I think you would enjoy it.
It's high on my list.
Kathy your blogs really touch me. I totally understand your Abuse post. While I have thankfully never been physically abused by anyone, now that I have been estranged from my mother for a long time, I can say with certainty that there was definitely some emotional/psychological abuse that went on.
Without getting into too many details, I have attempted several times to reconcile with her. I now realize I do not miss her. I miss the idea of her, and who she used to be. The last time we spoke was the straw that broke the camels back. She has never shouldered any blame for what happened in our childhood but we were tensely trying to make small talk and got into a small argument where she threw out he completely unrelated "Yeah? Well your precious dad isn't so innocent. He cheated on me you know!"
That was it, I was done. Nothing we were talking about had any relation to my dad, and even after humiliating him before and through their divorce, she still continues to point the finger at him and drags his name though the mud. While I can't say whether the incident she refers to did or did not happen, it's coincidental that I've never heard about it before and she was saving it for a convenient time. :rolls eyes:
I also had issues with her and letters. She would write these sappy letters begging me to take her back and have a relationship with her... And in the next sentence blame me for everything. I never understood it. I used to read them and be hopeful and then just break down and cry, I finally just stopped opening them, just like you did with Marjorie's diatribes.
Anyways there is no rhyme or reason to this post, but your blog entry really hit home for me.
I hope everything is well in Sedona and that Alphonse is enjoying his mountain view.
KCL, would you prefer our comments on your blog go here or on the blog site?
Your latest blog post really touched me in deeply personal way. Thank you.
Thank you guys for the support. Didn't mean to take over your thread KCL!
Breaking News! I have been found by a bonafide Fairy Godmother! :seeya: she found me!!