TX - 'Lori Ruff', Longview, WhtFem UP9863, *General Discussion and Theories* #1

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Just a couple of points to make.

1. I previously theorized that she may have killed herself because the Ruff's already knew she was a fake and that they didn't actually find out after she died; but before. In this case, depending on what it was she was hiding in her former life, she may have figured the gig was up and that she would never get custody if she had to explain who she really was. And, maybe what she was hiding was so bad that she didn't want to be exposed only for her daughter to be told later what the horrible secret was, or didn't want to be exposed due to the fact that her secret may expose her daughter to danger (For instance if this is a Lebaron-type case). In line with this theory, the following was quoted above: Miles said he was sent to “scrub that house down to see if we can find out who in the heck she was.” Doesn't this indicate that they knew BEFORE they went to the house and found all her stuff that she wasn't who she said she was? Something with the story being told in the media just isn't meshing. Did they find out something before she died? Did they find out something only upon her death? If you look at this quote, they certainly knew SOMETHING before they went to that house.

2. Bsublime
What I don't get is that they talk about how she fell apart in 2010. And yet in May 2010 she joined the Texas Business Women of Bonham and was active with them until at least the end of June (the last photo I found of here was at their June 25 meeting). It could be that she fell apart after that, but an antisocial woman without friends doesn't seem the type of person who would go and join a club that is all about social connection and empowering women?


As has been stated, we don't know exactly when she joined that group. If I had to guess, she may have been suffering from a little post-partem depression and Blake or someone encouraged her to get out of the house and get involved in things for her own mental health. I've know many women home with the kids after their births that just need to find time to get out of the house for awhile, particularly if they are a bit depressed. As for going nuts, read about post-partem psychosis a bit; it will freak you out.

3. NCSlueth may be right on point as well. We just don't have enough information to back up any of these theories because of the limited information we've been given. I do believe that we don't have all the facts surrounding the marriage situation and when the Ruffs knew what. I'm sure that some of these questions about her motivations may be answered in her last two letters.

1. The family has already stated that they were suspicious of her from the very beginning. They had no details, only suspicions. The family has already said that any time they tried to ask her personal questions she would become upset and never answered the questions. They said it was frustrating to them.
AFTER FLEK's funeral they decided to search the house so that they could find out information about her. The strongbox contained:The BSK Idaho I.D., the BSK birth certificate, name change BSK - LEK (among other things). It wasn't until private investigators did further searching that he was able to find BSK's death information in an old newspaper. This means the Ruff's were not aware of any identity theft.

If they had known about her identity theft BEFORE her death they would have used that information to possibly have her arrested or at least strengthen their case against her when filing restraining orders or the cease and desist letter.

If they had known before her death and FLEK was aware of this, wouldn't she have mentioned this in one of her two letters? There most likely would have been some sort of confrontation between her and the family if all this had come out into the open. The Ruff family most likely wouldn't have kept silent about it.

#2 July-Dec is enough of a time span for someone to have a serious breakdown, that's 5 months. A lot may have happened over those few months. Look at the picture of FLEK in the pink hat compared to the BWM pictures, she looks at less bright n' glowing in that one vs. the meeting pictures. I'm not sure when the pink picture was taken, but she looks different in the two pictures.

There's no exaggeration. The police report regarding the letter, the threatening emails and the cease n' desist are there to support that.

Summer 2010 her husband moves out. Then he begins the divorce process.
Fall 2010 she sends threatening emails to his family.
Winter/December 2010 she takes her life.

#3 The investigator said the two letters left no clues or leads. The police said, “These were ramblings from a clearly disturbed person,” the police report stated.

So far there is absolutely nothing mysterious or fishy about the Ruff family. As I've always state, that family was way too passive with FLEK. I would have hired a private investigator from day one!
 
Has the DNA results been released? I may have missed it, there is a ton of discussion to get caught up on for this case.
 
1. The family has already stated that they were suspicious of her from the very beginning. They had no details, only suspicions. The family has already said that any time they tried to ask her personal questions she would become upset and never answered the questions. They said it was frustrating to them.
AFTER FLEK's funeral they decided to search the house so that they could find out information about her. The strongbox contained:The BSK Idaho I.D., the BSK birth certificate, name change BSK - LEK (among other things). It wasn't until private investigators did further searching that he was able to find BSK's death information in an old newspaper. This means the Ruff's were not aware of any identity theft.

If they had known about her identity theft BEFORE her death they would have used that information to possibly have her arrested or at least strengthen their case against her when filing restraining orders or the cease and desist letter.



So far there is absolutely nothing mysterious or fishy about the Ruff family. As I've always state, that family was way too passive with FLEK. I would have hired a private investigator from day one!

I think Velling said he didn't have the Idaho ID until just recently. It wasn't in the box.
I also can't find a file for divorce action in Texas for Blake and lori only a marriage license application.. Suspicious they only got married in vegas
 
I think I recall one of the articles stating that her husband was forbidden to touch the strongbox, so evidently he knew she had things in it that she didn't want him to see. I wonder what he thought about that. If my husband put a locked box in the closet and told me never to look in it, probably the first thing I would do is figure out how to get into it, because that isn't normal behavior and I would be suspicious. Also, since her husband and his family were so curious and suspicious about her past, I would think that would be even more reason to gain access to the box. She couldn't be home all the time, and we know she used to take her daughter out for tea, so it seems that there would have been opportunity for her husband or his family to get into the box. If she wanted to be certain nobody would ever see the contents of the box then why even let him know she had it? She could have rented a safe deposit box and stored the documents there. Was she paranoid about having the documents out of her actual physical possession? Did she maybe feel the need to check the box periodically to make sure nothing had been disturbed? My own theory about why she didn't destroy the contents before committing suicide is that it no longer mattered. Whatever/whoever she was concealing her identity from could no longer touch her or harm her after death, so she just didn't care. Maybe a part of her even wanted the family to find out about the deception or even discover her true identity but she wanted them to work for it.
 
I would assume a "strongbox" has a lock. There's really no way to snoop without that person knowing.
 
I have a box that has some items in it that I can't bear to part with-but should. They are very personal, left over from a time that is long over, but they have value to me. There is no way I would want my DH to know about this box, so I would never draw attention to it by saying,"well, I have this box, but you are not allowed to touch it or open it." That would be like inviting him to.

When I'm gone, I don't care if its found, it might bring better understanding of a time in my life.
 
If my husband put a locked box in the closet and told me never to look in it, probably the first thing I would do is figure out how to get into it, because that isn't normal behavior and I would be suspicious..

This just made me laugh as I was reading it. Me too, sorry, but I know my curious nature, it would drive me crazy, I would have to know and find some way to get into it.

About Blake, the way they describe him, he was not that kind of person, not like me and you at all. They even talk about when LEK and Blake went for counseling, it was either his brother or BIL that had to go with him and even speak for him. That is different to say the least.
 
Linda, I was not implying that the Ruffs are hiding anything, I was simply saying that if you read the article closely, which only gives us limited information to begin with, it is possible that since the Ruffs were going to the house to find out who the heck she was, then FLEK herself may have known at the time of her death that they strongly suspected she was a fake and she feared being outed. That may have been her state of mind for the suicide. My post was in reference to someone else's post who didn't understand why an overprotective mother would kill herself and leave her daughter behind with the Ruffs whom she didn't want near her daughter. My ultimate point was that maybe, whatever her dark secret may have been, being outed in a custody proceeding posed more danger to her daughter than the Ruffs did; or that maybe the secret in her past is something that would have come out in custody hearings and she didn't want her daughter to someday know what that was.
 
I can't find where Blake filed for divorce. I see the marriage application but no other records in Texas.. No actual marriage certificate. I wonder if they didn't get married in Texas only applied for the license but married in Vegas later...would he have to file there?

Anyone can you find a filing for divorce or a marriage license?
 
Linda, I was not implying that the Ruffs are hiding anything, My ultimate point was that maybe, whatever her dark secret may have been, being outed in a custody proceeding posed more danger to her daughter than the Ruffs did; or that maybe the secret in her past is something that would have come out in custody hearings and she didn't want her daughter to someday know what that was.
? Huh? Did I say anything? Did I miss something ? I think the Ruffs are not 100% forthcoming.
 
This just made me laugh as I was reading it. Me too, sorry, but I know my curious nature, it would drive me crazy, I would have to know and find some way to get into it.

About Blake, the way they describe him, he was not that kind of person, not like me and you at all. They even talk about when LEK and Blake went for counseling, it was either his brother or BIL that had to go with him and even speak for him. That is different to say the least.

I just wanted to point out that Blake's brother - the one who spoke for him in counseling - is his identical twin. It's really not that unusual for identical twins to be closer to each other than to anyone else, even their own spouses. I keep seeing people imply that Blake has something seriously wrong with him, but I don't think that's the case at all. I think he's just a quiet guy who is closer to his twin than to anyone else.
 
its just that they are public record ( marriage and divorce) and searchable online, they just DONT EXIST.
 
There were several other articles written based on this one of the Seattle times. Some of the other ones were more descriptive of Blake's personality or " condition" which led me to believe he has Asperger syndrome.

now that I think of it, it kinda sounds like FLEK might have a very slight case, being highly functional...only going by what the Ruffs said about her.
 
Whether or not the Ruffs are portraying her fairly or in a negative light or whatever, I would love to hear from a more objective source. Say, a woman from her business association, someone from a Sunday school or bible study group, something of that nature. It would be interesting to hear what someone who knew primarily her and not her family would have to say.

ETA: The neighbor could have seen some odd or different behavior from her, and if the family let the neighbor in on what happened (suicide, unkept house) suddenly her demeanor and behavior seem totally different to the neighbor. Sometimes suggestion has a more profound effect on people. It can be powerful. Now that is not a dig at the neighbor or the Ruffs. These things happen all the time. My mom is someone to whom this would happen. She may have been deteriorating (I think that's obvious given how it ended), but it may not have been so obvious. That may account for the photos of her looking perfectly normal and fine.
 
I just wanted to point out that Blake's brother - the one who spoke for him in counseling - is his identical twin. It's really not that unusual for identical twins to be closer to each other than to anyone else, even their own spouses. I keep seeing people imply that Blake has something seriously wrong with him, but I don't think that's the case at all. I think he's just a quiet guy who is closer to his twin than to anyone else.

One of the articles said Blake was "different". I suspect he was a high functioning autistic, maybe. Aspergers, perhaps.
 
Whether or not the Ruffs are portraying her fairly or in a negative light or whatever, I would love to hear from a more objective source. Say, a woman from her business association, someone from a Sunday school or bible study group, something of that nature. It would be interesting to hear what someone who knew primarily her and not her family would have to say.

That's part of the problem with this case WhittyG, there was no one to come forward that knew her well since the time of her marriage. No one. The articles state that she kept to herself. Women from the business group would not have known her well with only a few hours a month.

Remember that during the investigation one person (a guy)who knew her before her marriage spoke of her as having "problems". There was no one who was able to say that they knew her well during her college years.

A person who is trying to hide their identity is not going to let their true self be seen and that includes hobbies, interests, and most importantly their true feelings and emotions.
 
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