I have two sisters. One in particular that I am extremely close to who happens to lives 900 miles away. There is nothing in this world that we don't know about each other. We tell each other EVERYTHING. And I'm talking the good the bad and the ugly. There is no judgment. We put them in the "vault" (thank you Seinfeld) and there is no key or combination to our vault. My point is I knew she was very unhappy in her marriage for at least 4 years, and was divorcing her now ex-husband two years before he did. When she finally told our family, I was just as surprised as they were. :shush: NOT
This was one of the reasons that I was one of the very few members here
who was thinking/hoping/praying that MS was not guilty.
NOT anymore, once the documents were released it was game over
Before they were however, AL seemed to think very highly of MS and his love (cough cough) for TS, as well as their marriage.
It seems to me that TS didn't confide in anyone, but chose to keep a lot of her/their problems to herself. Perhaps even questioning them over and over for months or years at a time. Sadly, it seems she carried a lot around on her own small shoulders.
Some things I'm about to say next had to weigh heavily on TS's mind, as she might have felt stuck between a rock and a hard place with MS.
My sis also happens to live in Florida. Without giving too much away, her circumstances are somewhat similar to the Sievers' to a point. Sis has a very lucrative job. Her ex HAD a very good job too, but was fired some years ago. After ex lost his job, my sis took a promotion within the same corporation. It meant more money, which they now needed, BUT more responsibilities and a 2 hour commute to work each day to and from = more time away from her children.
They decided he would stay home with the young kids until they were old enough to start school. BIG MISTAKE it didn't happen. He never even tried to get a job.
He would take care of everything at home, including finances.
I will tell you some things that are not in the vault. First of all, while married, they did take out a second mortgage, he went on disability. The kids were older when she finally divorced him.
Ex receives 3,000 (give or take) a month on Disability. The way it works with the kids is they (combined) receive half of what ex gets. It's supposed to help cover the amount of money for the care of the kids IF he was still working. So half of 3k is 1,500. Since there are 2 kids, each gets a check in their name only of $750. If there was one child, they would get 1,500. In others words if one turns 18, payments stop. BUT the remaining child would get the full $1,500. (half)
Divorce was brutal on my sis.
1. She had to buy him out to keep home.
2. She had to pay 2nd. mortgage
3. Although he gets $4,500 a month, she still has to pay him spousal support. (not sure how long)
4. Even though they have shared custody, she still has to pay him child support.
5. Most of the time kids want to stay with dad, as he was the one who was home with them while my sis worked her arse off to provide for the family. When it's her time to have them, they hardly ever want to come :frown: This has devastated her.
Bottom line, he ends up clearing MORE money than she does every month, and my sister is now in big time debt. She had to take out a loan to pay him 1/2 of the home value to stay in it. She did refinance 1st and 2nd mortgage, but her payments are astronomical.
There are more things I could add, but this is already too long.