As much as I love and respect my fellow websleuthers, I’m pretty disturbed by the level of sympathy toward Natalie’s stalker that I’m seeing. It seems that some posts are almost more defensive and sympathetic toward him than they are empathetic toward her, the young woman who actually lost her life.
I see many excuses or minimizations or defenses of a man who terrorized a young murder victim. I see many posts seeming to consider SS a victim and indignant that SS can even be mentioned with any suspicion while having no problems doing what I consider bashing of the actual victim in this case by calling her abuser “protective” of her or questioning her veracity and suggesting she may have “exaggerated” or that she wasn’t killed but OD’d, despite the homicide investigation, etc. That’s pretty appalling to me and not typical of the Websleuths I’ve loved for a decade and a half.
SS was not protective of his stalking and harassment victim. Such a statement is terrible, IMO and a slap in the face to any victim of stalking, harassment or domestic violence. You can’t be “protective” of someone you are terrorizing. This young woman was in fear for her life. She had to seek a restraining order against this man due to his apparent criminal conduct which included non-stop harassment, surveillance, following, contact of her family and threats against them, foul, derogatory descriptors of her, stated desires to see her in pain, etc. This guy is a scary and very dangerous man. Not a protector of anyone.
Stalkers are dangerous criminals. They can never ever be good guys. Stalking is a crime. No excuse.
94% of murders – not homicides but murders – involve prior stalking behavior. 94%.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/apr/24/stalking-behaviour-murders-study-shows
That’s huge. This is not something harmless or due to a disability. Not what SS is described as doing.
And if she exaggerated I will eat my hat. If anything, she likely downplayed, at least on her Facebook post, the level of this person’s terrorizing. Natalie seemed to be a fearless person, did not judge people and seemed to be able to navigate a world inhabited by some very troubled and desperate people, without coming to serious harm. Until now. What reason would she have to exaggerate against a man and seek protection from him? They weren’t together romantically. There is nothing to suggest she was vengeful or jealous or angry. Just scared.
But she tried to be smart and her actions quite credible for a true victim. It appears she was doing at least some of what victims of stalking are instructed to do to minimize the risk such as telling everyone what’s going on and even posting photos of their stalker so others will recognize the person, telling others to ignore him and taking out a restraining order. I found her post to be matter of fact and concise. Not dramatic, or attention-seeking, or enraged, etc. Just calm and serious: “He’s mentally ill and I’m trying to fix this.”
Also, I keep seeing posts about how this man was too frail or sweet or good to do such a thing. What? First of all, while it’s clear that something is wrong with this guy mentally, and he’s had a hard life, I also think he is very, very good at playing the victim and I don’t believe one word of what he says or how he portrays himself, even including his use of a cane. Does he have all the disabilities he claims to have? I don’t know but I suspect probably not. This guy seems to be the type who knows how to effectively garner sympathy by appearing to be nothing but a “lost boy” who just wants a friend.
I am not fooled.
SS appears by his own words and actions to be a rage-filled injustice collector. Post after post with foul language like the type he used against poor Natalie, calling her a C word and wishing her suffering. This isn’t a poor, misunderstood victim who just coincidentally and accidentally happened to be in the center of the homicide investigation involving his stalking victim and whose terrorizing of his victim was nothing more than an innocent misunderstanding due to a socially inept and disabled man.
My God, he called her and emailed her and texted her unceasingly. He followed her hundreds of miles to a different state, camped out behind her work, laid on the horn of his car outside her home until the police arrested him, contacted her family and threatened them and cruelly wished her harm. He’s not befuddled. He’s dangerous.
As to the belief that he couldn’t have committed this crime because he’s too “frail”? My apologies but hogwash, IMO. He is a man much larger (even if he is thin) than tiny, elfin Natalie. And he is clearly filled with unceasing rage against the world such that he can barely control himself. He is an angry, angry man. His posts are filled with unbridled rage. Also, it’s not hard to come up from behind or from the side and ambush someone.
Stalkers like he clearly is are a serious threat to their victims. In fact, based on his comments and hers, he appears to fit the profile of a stalker who becomes violent. Here are the signs:
Warning Signs of Possible Stalker VIOLENCE
• Expressions of helplessness;
• Over-interpreting what you say or do;
• Socially isolated;
• Overly-dependent upon you only;
• A history of relationship violence or stalking;
• Alcohol or drug abuse;
• Actual or threatened suicide attempts are especially dangerous for
you (he has nothing left to lose).
http://www.crime-safety-security.com/Stalker-Warning-Signs.html
SS seems to fit most of the above except a history of violence or stalking. That we have no evidence of. (BTW, as to him not having a criminal record, how do we know unless a full background check has been done. Do we ever know for sure every place this guy has lived before?).
I note he expressed suicidal ideology on several occasions. That doesn’t make a victim less likely to be harmed as some have seemed to suggest – as if he would hurt himself rather than his “love” obsession – instead, it makes a victim more likely to be harmed as seen above. In family law, when parents are suicidal that is seen as a risk of harm to the children involved. Anyone who follows the news can tell why that is.
As to the idea that he was too much of a confessor to have harmed Natalie and stayed silent about it, this is murder. It’s a game changer. Almost everyone knows that.
As to the fact that he was not arrested for Natalie’s death being indicative of his innocence, my decades following murders and disappearances show that is not indicative of a thing, especially this early on. LE’s statements seem to indicate they have their eye on him and that figuring out his movements during the “crucial hours” are as important as determining Natalie’s.
As to the thought that he loved her too much to harm her, wow. Are domestic abusers also just filled with love toward their abuse victims? He was stalking her. And not just a little. He was obsessed and fixated. That’s not love. That’s crazy.
And if he loved her so much, where are the hundreds of posts memorializing his obsession after it became known that she had been killed or was found dead. Where is the crying? The grief? I mean he is a prolific social media user. Posts non-stop. He posted several posts about her being missing. And post after post of outraged, ranting indignation and insults against others including Natalie’s loved ones since then. But no cries for her. Nothing, except one sentence within a self-serving post about his innocence.
That is significant to me.
The most significant thing to me, however, in this whole thing, besides the circumstances of a victim of a serious stalker turning up dead days before the hearing on the permanent restraining order request, is that despite the fact that this guy is such a prolific poster, and posted prolifically the day Natalie went missing until early morning when he likely slept, he was dead silent and gone from social media for nine hours after Natalie went missing.
Nothing explains that.
