I don’t see how disciplining children is comparable to adult partners disciplining one another. It is apples and oranges imo. I’m probably around your kids ages, and I can assure you most, if not all, of my friends were disciplined the way you disciplined your kids, and we all turned out just fine, and are successful, well adjusted adults. We know right from wrong, and that there are consequences to our actions.
I think most people in our country become very defensive about spanking because it's common in our culture and let's face it, most of our parents did it and most of us have swatted our child, even those of us who really don't believe in it. And no one wants to think they are bad parents or that their parents were bad parents.
I don't think people who have used spanking are necessarily bad parents. Just humans. And doing what was taught. But I do think it can be compared to using physical disclpine on an adult.
Because hitting to achieve good behavior or compliance or obedience or to punish is still hitting (and oh my gosh yes spanking IS hitting) and the person being hit is still human whether spouse or child. The main difference is the child is much smaller, much more vulnerable and much more easily destroyed emotionally by the betrayal of the person they love and trust the most striking them.
Yes many many people got spanked and "turned out fine." But countless others were utterly destroyed by that form of discipline. Our prisons are full to the brim of people who got whipped, paddled, spanked, whatever. Millions of Americans suffer from depression, anxiety, sexual problems, eating disorders, OCD, bi polar, personality disorders, etc., that can be attributed in part to being struck as children according to countless studies.
And that includes just "regular spanking".
And the excuse, "Oh I smack them on the diaper once. It doesn't hurt" is also nonsense IMO. Then why do it? Wouldn't a "Hey! Stop that!" acheive the same result?
You never know what child is going to turn out incredibly negatively affected by being struck. And you never know which parents are going to take it across that line into full fledged abuse. Physical discipline of any kind is an easy segue into brutality for not only those who should never have had kids but also those who are otherwise good parents but who are having a mental health issue or facing extreme crisis or just having a super frustrating moment.
A culture that encourages or accepts the physical discipline of little children as normal or necessary enables abuse because it can be a normalized path into something horrific. Just like here. These mothers "resorted to spanking." That then became "I lost control, bent my kid over a bathtub, shoved her head under water and brutally beat her causing bruises from stem to stern."
And then belt whippings. And starving. And ultimate death.
A society that believes children can be taught respect, obedience, manners and be disciplined without resorting to physical measures is one that makes that option less of an easy "go to" for so many who don't cope well with parenthood.
That's my two cents. I respect that others disagree.
