Found Deceased Mi - Holly Kay Towery, 32, Royal Oak, 12 June 2018

New Posts

I don't know what's going on lately, but I have followed more cases that end in suicide lately than the other 5 years combined.

Everyone should take some time tomorrow to check in with all their loved ones. There is something happening that people are feeling so hopeless. Reaching out might make the difference.
 
bY the way, if anyone here is feeling hopeless, please reach out to someone. A friend, family, a help line, a doctor, even one of us. Please don't pass your pain to your loved ones through suicide. Get help.
 
mpnola said:
bY the way, if anyone here is feeling hopeless, please reach out to someone. A friend, family, a help line, a doctor, even one of us. Please don't pass your pain to your loved ones through suicide. Get help.
Click to expand...

Echoing this, thank you @mpnola. Please reach out. We have an anxiety thread in the basement, it's not just for anxiety, it anxiety, depression, suicide, anything, anything that is going on in your life, please head down, you might even find it useful to just lurk even if you don't post. There is always someone here for everyone.
 
This whole case has made me upset and the outcome has made me irrationally angry. I mean, I understood that there wasn't going to be a good outcome here; but yet another suicide has me very unhappy. Would Holly have done it in exactly this manner if she had known that her actions would "go viral" and expose her BF and family to all manner of outside scrutiny?

I've been suicidal myself. To the point where I attempted. So I understand that dark place. I tried to do it in a way that was least upsetting to my family. There's no way of getting into the heads of other suicidal people, obviously. Maybe some of them aren't thinking of anyone but themselves. Maybe some are downright vengeful.
 
From AR’s FB...


Thank you for those that had positive words.. Those that kept the hope alive and helped me these last few days. I still cannot understand this. All she had to do was talk to me. Please...love the people close to you....make sure they know you love them. Never say good bye without that kiss or hug or loving smile. You never know when it will be the last. And if ever you have those feelings that you cannot bare to feel anymore...you MUST realize, it WILL get better...dont ever give up on life. Holly Kay I love you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. You will be missed beyond words.
 
Aescwynn said:
This whole case has made me upset and the outcome has made me irrationally angry. I mean, I understood that there wasn't going to be a good outcome here; but yet another suicide has me very unhappy. Would Holly have done it in exactly this manner if she had known that her actions would "go viral" and expose her BF and family to all manner of outside scrutiny?

I've been suicidal myself. To the point where I attempted. So I understand that dark place. I tried to do it in a way that was least upsetting to my family. There's no way of getting into the heads of other suicidal people, obviously. Maybe some of them aren't thinking of anyone but themselves. Maybe some are downright vengeful.
Click to expand...

She probably wasn't thinking about any of those things. Unfortunately it turned into that. My heart aches for her kids, family and for AR. There have been so many horrible comments made to him.

I hope that you and others that may read this, have gotten the help you need.
 
justme11 said:
She probably wasn't thinking about any of those things. Unfortunately it turned into that. My heart aches for her kids, family and for AR. There have been so many horrible comments made to him. I hope that you and others that may read this, have gotten the help you need.
Click to expand...

Thank you for pointing that out. Holly's boyfriend Allen is conducting himself with class and dignity. From the beginning of his ordeal 3 days ago, he has been transparent and forthcoming while pleading for Holly's return. Yet, there have been those who took his words and actions and used them against him. Suspicious-minded people posting one innuendo after another, disparaging him from the beginning, saying things about him they would never say to his face. I wonder how those people feel about themselves now.
 
Jerrod said:
Thank you for pointing that out. Holly's boyfriend Allen is conducting himself with class and dignity. From the beginning of his ordeal 3 days ago, he has been transparent and forthcoming while pleading for Holly's return. Yet, there have been those who took his words and actions and used them against him. Suspicious-minded people posting one innuendo after another, disparaging him from the beginning, saying things about him they would never say to his face. I wonder how those people feel about themselves now.
Click to expand...

I don't think anyone on this forum got close to crossing a line.
As I said to someone else yesterday, we try to look at the evidence as objectively as possible. Sometimes cases get highly emotional and people take sides but I just didn't see that happening-- here, anyway. But the on the face of it, the evidence as available to us was puzzling, so in trying to make sense of it, all kinds of different scenarios had to be considered. I was one of the people considering different scenarios here on WS and I make no apologies.

Facebook is another matter. He was treated horrifically there. Sadly, that mob mentality and is pervasive all over the internet and even though it was present on the internet pre-Facebook, too, FB is currently where you can find the nastiest dogpiling on innocent people outside of the chan of four.
 
This case really tugs at me. A good friend of mine just lost her daughter to suicide she was only 26 and reminds me of Holly. Both have beautiful smiles. No one new she was depressed, she had a career a great family. She had just got home from a dinner with friends. Had weekend plans, there was ZERO signs she was suicidal. She also took a gun and shot herself. Her family would have never believed suicide if there was not a note left. I pray for all who are hurting.
 
Jerrod said:
Thank you for pointing that out. Holly's boyfriend Allen is conducting himself with class and dignity. From the beginning of his ordeal 3 days ago, he has been transparent and forthcoming while pleading for Holly's return. Yet, there have been those who took his words and actions and used them against him. Suspicious-minded people posting one innuendo after another, disparaging him from the beginning, saying things about him they would never say to his face. I wonder how those people feel about themselves now.
Click to expand...
Agreed. Some people here will take anything and immediately put blame on the spouse, when that person is obviosuly under considerable stress and overwhelming conclusions that the mind is wandering towards. Any interview is analyzed over and over, considering previous cases, eye twitches, etc. In what I've read here, and on past cases, the analyzations of a spouse or family are so rough that I fear anybody here who has not gone through this ignores common sense and the fragility of the spouse/family at the current time of the event.

Sometimes it's best to take a step back and think about those people who aren't missing. The ones who are being interviewed by news channels, cops, family members. The scrutiny they're put under is immense. The group hive mind doesn't help any because soon as someone agrees with you it backs up your claim, in your mind, even further, at times escalating the guessing game you're playing.

It's a sad ending for everyone involved. RIP
 
Davia18 said:
This case really tugs at me. A good friend of mine just lost her daughter to suicide she was only 26 and reminds me of Holly. Both have beautiful smiles. No one new she was depressed, she had a career a great family. She had just got home from a dinner with friends. Had weekend plans, there was ZERO signs she was suicidal. She also took a gun and shot herself. Her family would have never believed suicide if there was not a note left. I pray for all who are hurting.
Click to expand...

I am so sorry for your friend's loss. I too had a friend complete suicide 7 years ago (her thread is here). She left notes for her husband and sister. She was found during a search a few days later. Her girls are similar in age to my youngest son and it has been a struggle for them ever since :(
 
Allen posted about the gun...

We knew about the 50 plus "suicide with a gun" searches just hours after the phone was unlocked. However because of the stigma with suicide i was advised not to post this info on my updates. It was thought maybe folks would stop looking for her or care less. This is one reason why my post was scrutinized and didnt seem to make sense when it came to the gun. She would NEVER touch my gun...ever. I knew in my heart as soon as I was searching for clues or notes the night she left and saw my gun missing that suicide was the only reason she would ever take it...but i held on to hope that there may be a different reason. Obviously the searches in her phone only made my heart sink and confirmed my worst fear.
 
There are people still posting nasty comments on AR’s page. He is responding to them....

Amber Davis the sad part is her children were not mine and one of her exs was the reason for a lot of her pain...a very spiteful hurtful man. I never met the fathers and so I fear I won't ever get to see the children again.

....

Sheri Noble Matt its ok. They have been popping up everywhere. Its very hurtful...but i try to ignore. I know in my heart what happened. They did find a note next to her. I was crying all morning searching through her things trying to understand why and finally asked the detective if anything was found....he read of some it...and it breaks my heart. All she had to do was lean on me. She was such a selfless person and never wanted to be a burden on anyone. I ALWAYS asked her if she was ok when she was quiet. Always. I wanted her happy but with her exs and other family members I tried not to interfere unless she asked...and she never did. As far as i know...she had already done what she set out to do before I even started calling around and looking for her It was done less than two hrs from the time she left. I did just talk to her daughter's grandmother and she said "absolutely" I will be able to still see Hollys daughter.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

DNASolves

Who is Escambia County John Doe (1989)?

Members online

... and 191 more.
Total: 4,497 (members: 192, guests: 4,305)

Online statistics

Members online
192
Guests online
4,305
Total visitors
4,497
Totals may include hidden visitors.

Forum statistics

Threads
592,472
Messages
17,969,410
Members
228,777
Latest member
Jojo53
Back
Top