Sentencing and beyond- JA General Discussion #8

[pocketaccent]

My best guess on June 4:

-Travis tells Enrique that he slept only for an hour.
-Travis begins to move furnitures, sets up floor cleaner.
-Enrique leaves for work at 6am. (He drives to bus stop to save gas).
-Travis either goes back to sleep, or stays awake.

-She arrives some time in the morning.
-She apologizes and comes clean. Gives back TA's properties. Travis reluctantly accepts her apology and forgives.

-Her plan is to have sex then kill him in the shower, with no camera involvement.

-She witnesses Travis texting at 12:13 pm. (and possibly him using his computer)

-Her plan changes. She thinks Travis may have told someone she is there. Her new plan is to take pictures of sexual act then forward the time on camera before taking the shower pictures to create a time gap. Her alibi would be - 'I was there and we had sex, but left before 5:30 pm.' She had planned to leave the camera with both sets of photos, undeleted. It was a dumb plan by the highly manipulative , but she thinks she can get away with the murder. She wasn't about to waste all her premeditated effort.

- Sex takes place some time between 1:30 to 2:?? pm. She asks Travis to take nude pictures. He takes hers, then she does his.

- doesn't know Travis deleted the nudes.
-Travis takes shower. She forwards the time on camera by 3 hours. She kills him. It's about 2:30 pm, real time.

-2:30 to 3:?? -She is busy dealing with the aftermath of the vicious killing.
-Zach arrives 3:?? to about 4:00.

-Her clean up effort comes to a halt. She stays quietly some place. Wherever that place is, she has TA's laptop with her. She snoops to her heart's content.

-She does find out Travis had deleted all nude photos. No more alibi. She deletes all shower photos accordingly.
-After Zach leaves, she continues to clean up.
-She leaves right after 4:54 pm.

 

[Pasasana]

Thanks a million for doing all this work, ((Hope))!! A lot of gold mines in here. If this was a book, it's a page-turner.

One mystery solved (definitely)?
Travis is the one who texted June 4th, 12:15 pm 'Did you buy me one?'-> was sarcasm.

Yes to everything you said! And I'd like to add my name to the others who would buy a book from H4M in a heartbeat!

 

[Pasasana]

Working hard on March & April so I can finally get to May & June.

But, a quick reply to your question of why Travis "tolerated" the .....

Why he might have done so is related to part of what I'm writing up. Yes, I'm sure the horrible abuse Travis suffered as a child had something -even much- to do with how he dealt with the .

But... for context. The same question might be asked of why Darryl Brewer didn't cut her off altogether, especially after she cost him their house & no doubt his credit rating, and after he waited for her to work out how they would be together, all the while she was getting baptized Mormon and deciding she was going to marry Travis.

And, why was it that MM didn't run like hell away from her after the invaded HIS privacy, and chased down & confronted Bianca, after he and the had broken up? Then snuck into his house & slept in his bed while he wasn't there?

Not only did MM not run away from her, he was willing to perjure himself in a DP trial in order to save her psycho arse.

TA had his own reasons for not being able to escape the 's clutches, but the reasons that were particular to him don't explain in whole why he wasn't able to do so.

I think that sociopaths know how to pick their victims. She picked men who saw her as the victim.

 

[salberg7]

Can someone please direct me to the Appeals thread? I can’t find it. Thank you!

 

[geevee]

Can someone please direct me to the Appeals thread? I can’t find it. Thank you!

Here it is:

Appeal Updates and Information *NO DISCUSSION*

 

[RickshawFan]

My best guess on June 4:

-Travis tells Enrique that he slept only for an hour.
-Travis begins to move furnitures, sets up floor cleaner.
-Enrique leaves for work at 6am. (He drives to bus stop to save gas).
-Travis either goes back to sleep, or stays awake.

-She arrives some time in the morning.
-She apologizes and comes clean. Gives back TA's properties. Travis reluctantly accepts her apology and forgives.

-Her plan is to have sex then kill him in the shower, with no camera involvement.

-She witnesses Travis texting at 12:13 pm. (and possibly him using his computer)

-Her plan changes. She thinks Travis may have told someone she is there. Her new plan is to take pictures of sexual act then forward the time on camera before taking the shower pictures to create a time gap. Her alibi would be - 'I was there and we had sex, but left before 5:30 pm.' She had planned to leave the camera with both sets of photos, undeleted. It was a dumb plan by the highly manipulative , but she thinks she can get away with the murder. She wasn't about to waste all her premeditated effort.

- Sex takes place some time between 1:30 to 2:?? pm. She asks Travis to take nude pictures. He takes hers, then she does his.

- doesn't know Travis deleted the nudes.
-Travis takes shower. She forwards the time on camera by 3 hours. She kills him. It's about 2:30 pm, real time.

-2:30 to 3:?? -She is busy dealing with the aftermath of the vicious killing.
-Zach arrives 3:?? to about 4:00.

-Her clean up effort comes to a halt. She stays quietly some place. Wherever that place is, she has TA's laptop with her. She snoops to her heart's content.

-She does find out Travis had deleted all nude photos. No more alibi. She deletes all shower photos accordingly.
-After Zach leaves, she continues to clean up.
-She leaves right after 4:54 pm.

Clever genius, you.....

 

[salberg7]

Here it is:

Appeal Updates and Information *NO DISCUSSION*

Thank you! I will bookmark it.

 

[salberg7]

So now everyone sits and waits again for the to file her OB. Does anyone think the is not happy with the brief her attorneys have written to submit & is constantly re-writing and/or editing it, or do you think it’s ready to go & “team” is just being difficult?
Doesn’t her “team” understand that it appears the COA is losing patience?
Or...is this a strategy specifically designed to add to or augment to the ’s points in the OB? Meaning this delay, motions, stupidity will dovetail into the points wants to relay to the COA in her OB?
Remember thinks she is a genius.
I didn’t see a date set for OB yet.
Why could they possibly want the delay so badly?
Thoughts?

 

[salberg7]

Agree with this! Maybe each of her past paramours had their own weaknesses zeroed in on. The difference between them & Travis? Travis to her was ready made - good job, nice house - thus again the didn’t want to work for anything that required hard work.
didn’t love Travis. She only loves herself & that’s true today as well. Travis was a means to an end for .
Darryl - wouldn’t committ to her yet she used her prowess to keep him enthralled until she met Travis then dumped him
Matt M - she must have laid some sort of “heavy” guilt trip on him as he couldn’t get away from her either & for some reason was willing to jeopardize his own freedom for her. I think Matt had a huge “come to Jesus” moment during ’ trial in that he realized he was played by her as well. He detached - citing a new family of his own afraid for their well being.
Bobby Juarez - just honing her craft. He left and never came back.
So what were her female charms she so aptly used to bring those guys to heel?
Lies,guilt, mind games, more lying and a whole lot of drama.

 

[Hope4More]

THE MAY 26th CHAT


Years ago, BK obtained the only original transcript of the full 16 pages of IM’s exchanged between Travis and the on May 26 (“the Gmail chat”). The chat has been posted on several sites since then.

The transcript on BK’s site isn’t the exact transcript entered into evidence at trial. Both the trial and BK’s transcripts, though, were pieced together those 16 pages of IM’s. BK’s transcript is confusing to read, largely because EACH PAGE of the IM’s must be read from the bottom up. Since times aren’t provided for any of the IM’s on BK’s transcript, it’s very difficult to know where any given page of IM’s (within the pages of the transcript itself) begins or ends, and thus, to be certain of the correct sequence of the May 26 conversation.

BK notes about the transcript on her site that the entire transcript should be read backwards (last page first). The few peeps who have also posted the transcript online took that advice, and ordered the chat from the last page first. None of the transcripts available online, including BK’s, reordered each page of IM’s (most still read bottom to top) WITHIN the overall sequence of the 16 pages.

The overall sequence of IM’s matters. Here’s the difference:

1. Read from the last page to the first: Travis sent the very angry texts, calling her a sociopath and saying she was the worst thing that ever happened to him, then began the IM chat by telling her to call him, because he thought she was ready to tell him “the first pure truth you’ve ever told me,” then appeared to give up (“you win, Jodi, I quit”), then, towards the very end of the chat, went completely ballistic and levelled those worst insults (3-hole wonder, corrupted carcass, etc).

2. Read from the first page through the last: Travis sent the very angry texts, calling her a sociopath and a *advertiser censored* and saying she was the worst thing that ever happened to him, then began the IM chat in a rage, continuing to call her a *advertiser censored* and a liar, then appeared to give up (“you win Jodi, I quit”) , which solicited what may have seemed to him the beginning of a “confession” by the , which in turn led him to telling her to call him, because he thought she was ready to tell him “the first pure truth you’ve ever told me.”

Which is the correct order? IMO, reading the chat from first page to last makes the most sense, both emotionally and contextually. Witness testimony from both trials also supports that read. When I first reordered the chat a couple of years ago, I used as a guide every bit of trial testimony in which a witness provided specific information from the chat which linked the time and/or page from the chat with a direct or paraphrased quote. BK’s notes that she took in the courtroom during the PP2 were particularly helpful in providing times, but also the overall sequence of the transcript—first page to last.

I reordered the entire chat those years ago, but sadly, never posted it (concern about restrictions), and neither did I save the reorder, on paper or on my computer. When Pocket set us all a’sleuthing again those weeks ago () I redid much, but not all of the work again. For me, at least, it is excruciatingly slow, laborious, and frustrating work (my cognitive deficits are a major impediment to doing this particular kind of analysis), and at the section bracketed below, I surrendered.

To anyone who is interested in completing the job---feel free (very, very, free ).

---------------------------------------

The order of separate GChat posts:



1. This first, of notes relating to chat order

2. The May 25th texts leading into the GChat

3. The BK transcript of GChat (not directly from her site; I had to retype the entire thing

4. My (incomplete) reordering of the chat

 

[Hope4More]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CHRONOLOGY OF COMMUNICATIONS, MAY 25-26, AND THE TEXTS

TEXTS (sent on the evening of May 25, then early AM of May 26, between 12:59AM -2:17AM)

GMAIL CHAT (IM’s sent on May 26 between 2:33AM and 4:47 or 4:49AM),

& EMAILS (none entered into evidence; content of several known by the Hughes and PP2 jury: the "bishop-stat" email sent by to Travis on May 25, and 2 emails sent on May 26 AFTER the chat ended, both sent by the , one stating she did NOT slash his tires or steal his journal, the other stating she was going to see "her" lawyer).

----------------------------------------------------------------------

May 25, 2008

(A call from the apparently came first; she likely left a voicemail (VM) given how Travis responds below).


TEXTS

8:25PM. TRAVIS to : Put it in an email.

8:25PM. : I can’t. It will literally take less than 5 minutes. Maybe only 4. It’s important because it effects us both.

8:59PM. TRAVIS: Then leave it on a VM. I’m not speaking to you. Leave me alone about it.

9:00PM. : Let’s just say it is too incriminating for an email or VM or whatever. Just let me say it and I’m done.

9:03. TRAVIS: I don’t really care. You haven’t seemed to care about privacy in the past. Just leave the VM or nothing.

9:09PM. : Well, I’m not going to leave you the incriminating part on the voicemail or anywhere else. So we can forget about that part. I’ll tell you the other part, but I need a response from you about it. Deal?

----------------------------------

((This is the most likely time for the to have told Travis the “first part, by sending Travis the email PP2’s foreman mentioned (it wasn’t introduced into evidence at trial), in which the told Travis she needed to go to her bishop, “STAT,” to confess her sexual transgressions with Travis.


12:59AM. TRAVIS: I sent you a response to your dire conversation that I hope you read because you need to read it. Maybe it will spark human emotion in you, something that only seems to exist when it comes to your own problems. But everyone else is just a part of your sick agenda. By the way, your pic comment to Danny Jones makes you look like a pure *advertiser censored*, even more to the people who know you. If he knew what I know about you, he’d spit in your face. So would everyone else. But why do I even say it because you don’t care. It doesn’t serve your evilness.

1:35AM. TRAVIS: You couldn’t get off your lazy butt to read it could you. That’s the sociopath I know so well. It freaking figures.

2:11AM. TRAVIS: I don’t want your apology. I want you to understand what I think of you. I want you to understand how evil I think you are. You are the worst thing that ever happened to me.

2:14AM. TRAVIS: You are a sociopath. You only cry for yourself. You have never cared for me and you have betrayed me worse than any example I could conjure. You are sick and you have scammed me.

2:16 AM. : I don’t have an email from you? Which email did you send it to?

2:16. TRAVIS: Your Facebook.

2:17AM. : I didn’t get an email notice about it but I’ll check now.


(If the responded to Travis between 1:35 and 2:11AM, it wasn’t by text or by Gmail either, unless that part of the Gmail chat was deleted, somehow, whenever. It’s possible Travis hadn’t heard from her, and was responding to an “apology” in the original “dire conversation” ( the bishop email?). It is also possible they did talk on the phone, and this is the call in the GChat Travis later calls “disgusting.”)
------------------------------------------------------

Last note: The IM’s in the GChat transcript were pulled from the ’s Gmail account, not Travis’s. Did Travis delete the chat from his Gmail archives? Did the ? Was she able to delete selected portions/lines of the chat from HER archive?

 

[Hope4More]

THE (RETYPED) BK GCHAT TRANSCRIPT, IN THE ORIGINAL ORDER.
(Times on the transcript are inserted by me, from trial testimony).

-------------
2:36AM TRAVIS: And by the way your little comment to danny jones makes you look like a cheap *advertiser censored*

: no

TRAVIS: Have u forgotten that you are dealing with humans

; Perhaps

TRAVIS: Have you forgotten what it is like to be human

TRAVIS: just like that disgusting call today

TRAVIS: in everything you throw at me its all an agenda to save ur own *advertiser censored*

TRAVIS: ur words are worthless

: OK, Travis, what do you want me to do?

TRAVIS: you don’t know how to tell truth

TRAVIS: and don’t send me an email with all your bogus lies

: I’m emailing you!

TRAVIS: Don’t freaking ignore me

TRAVIS: Like you, I flirt because it’s “harmless”, means nothing”, and there are “no intentions” behind it

TRAVIS: yet you flit anyway

TRAVIS: I’m glad to see you are checking the vibe of danny jones you must feel so classy

: I tried having a conversation with him, and he was cordial, but never flirty or anything like it.

: It’s based off of a vibe I got at systems many many months ago

TRAVIS: maybe kyle kimbrell then

TRAVIS: Ur too much

TRAVIS: what a freakin *advertiser censored*

TRAVIS: so you have checked it then

: His temp is cold when it comes to that

TRAVIS: and he is an easy target

TRAVIS: maybe u are just on to the next dick

TRAVIS: Its danny jones

TRAVIS: no, you were flirting with him and u know better

: Only you would say that. Anyone else would see it for what it is: an Anchorman joke. I was just giving him a hard time for showing off and being such a ham. You and I had a conversation about his Facebook pics and their content. I was just razzing him.

TRAVIS: Just shut up

TRAVIS: Shut up

: I am so so sorry. You are light unto this world. I can’t even compare

TRAVIS: Hitler had more of concious

TRAVIS: I don’t even know if ur human

TRAVIS: Im so stupid

TRAVIS: you are sick and evil and knowing you makes me want to kill myself in punishment

TRAVIS: you are the lowest of low



===============1==================












===============2=================

TRAVIS: you try to destroy them

TRAVIS: you are relentless in your torture of people that have loved you and protected you and served you and what do you do

TRAVIS: you have been more cause of pain than death of my father

TRAVIS: So much

TRAVIS: I hate you

(just before 2:45) TRAVIS: do realize that

: I’ve acted so wrong

TRAVIS: I hate u

: One day it will be clear

TRAVIS: Ur email is *advertiser censored* too

TRAVIS: No travis

TRAVIS: Pure freaking *advertiser censored*

: Can I just send the email? I’m almost finished

TRAVIS: We both know by your actions you view me as pure *advertiser censored*

TRAVIS: what I want is for you to quit blatantly lying

TRAVIS: You are not sorry

: I don’t know what to say

: I know you don’t want apologies

: I really am sorry for everything

: I don’t know what to do

2:42AM TRAVIS: like I said, ‘ive never dealt with a more solid form of pure evil

: I know

TRAVIS: u are like this

: Look, I don’t want to be like this

TRAVIS: we already know based on all the last emails you sent and then invaded my privacy that it is

TRAVIS: send your piece of *advertiser censored* lie fest so I can mock it

TRAVIS: it is gone because of u

TRAVIS: If I was

TRAVIS: Ur evil

TRAVIS: you have been nothing but a liar from beginning

TRAVIS: Even when u come clean it is a partial version of the truth to serve your purpose

TRAVIS: even when you say u are telling the truth u are lying

TRAVIS: Miss high class server can’t even get a job at a freakin diner

: They didn’t even come watch me sing even though the rest of my family did Not that you care, but that’s just to illustrate how much they’re not proud

TRAVIS: They shouldn’t be

: They’re not proud of me

TRAVIS: ur parents must be proud

TRAVIS: Of course not

TRAVIS: Even once

TRAVIS: When u have had the temptation to lie have u ever resisted it and told the truth

TRAVIS: Ever in yr life

TRAVIS: Have u ever

TRAVIS: Ru capable of it

==========================2===========





=========================================3==================

TRAVIS: Do u know how to tell the truth

TRAVIS: Ur email obviously wasn’t almost finished. another lie

TRAVIS: how does a heart beat in such a corrupted carcass

TRAVIS: How do you live

TRAVIS: How many times can someone pay some one for service by stabbing them in the back

TRAVIS: how can u be such an ingrate

TRAVIS: Can’t all the things I have done for you help you to stop from taking away what belongs to me

TRAVIS: Can’t you remember when you choose to take away my human rights what I have done for you

: What does that mean??!

TRAVIS: You are a rotten lunatic

TRAVIS: And you after everything send some thing down the pipe as you log into my facebook

TRAVIS: to live a life identical to satan

TRAVIS: Nothing else

TRAVIS: how must it be to be solely a liar

TRAVIS: u have never

TRAVIS: u have never given out the truth for truths sake

TRAVIS: And always have been

TRAVIS: u r good for something

TRAVIS: yeah u r 3 hole wonder

: maybe I can use you as a reference

: yeah, according to what you’ve said, I’d have that car paid off in one shift with vacation money to spare

TRAVIS: Ur good at that

TRAVIS: Oh I’m sure you can

TRAVIS: maybe u can get tips for BJ’s

TRAVIS: B

TRAVIS: A *advertiser censored* job

: It’s not a sobe story

: I’m a full time bartender now at a Mexican restaurant

TRAVIS: Who freaking cares about you

TRAVIS: That is ur email

: OK, I figured it out

TRAVIS: Did u ever even write one

TRAVIS: Copy it how freaking convenient

TRAVIS: and now u tell me no

: it’s not letting me put your address in the recipient bar

TRAVIS: I have waited

TRAVIS:

===========================3=============





=================4================

TRAVIS: Why not

TRAVIS: At all

: I can’t send the email

TRAVIS: Any

TRAVIS: Is there any desire

TRAVIS: U never have

TRAVIS: Ever

TRAVIS: Don’t you ever want to tell the truth

TRAVIS: Why continue lying

TRAVIS: I know it

TRAVIS: And I know it

3:14AM TRAVIS: You slashed my tires

TRAVIS: U stole my journal

TRAVIS: I don’t want more lies

TRAVIS: Shut up

TRAVIS: Shut up

: No

: What!?

TRAVIS: I know you did

TRAVIS: I know you got into my computer and erased a letter I SENT to Lisa

TRAVIS: Can’t you tell the truth

TRAVIS: U sasid it was almost done

TRAVIS: Where is it

TRAVIS: Finish your utterly worthless email

TRAVIS: What I thought was real never existed

TRAVIS: I loved someone that never existed

TRAVIS: Is it impossible

TRAVIS: seriously

TRAVIS: Is it impossible

TRAVIS: Cant u tell the truth

TRAVIS: Ur *advertiser censored*

TRAVIS: Ur worthless

TRAVIS: U said u were almost done and you lied again

: Well, it would have been done sooner but I was watching you type

TRAVIS: That is what took u so long to write

TRAVIS: Ur pathetic

TRAVIS: you are taking up people air

TRAVIS: If not

TRAVIS: Can u learn

TRAVIS: You have got to learn

TRAVIS: It will always be until you tell the truth

TRAVIS: Don’t u see your lies is why ur life is worthless

TRAVIS: U don’t care either

TRAVIS: Ur a liar

TRAVIS: I know u did

TRAVIS: u did

===================4=================







======================5===================

TRAVIS: U slashed the Fing tires

TRAVIS: Once

TRAVIS: Tell it

TRAVIS: U can tell the truth

: “ I agree?”

: What can I really say though?

TRAVIS: That’s why

: I Shouldn’t have gone about it that way

TRAVIS: U don’t care about me

: I acted stupid

: I acted immature

TRAVIS: Because you only care about Jodi

: I guess maybe it was just my way of trying to renounce you

TRAVIS: Let me tell u why

: I hurt too

: I don’t know why

: I don’t have answer

TRAVIS: NOW!!!

TRAVIS: How could u be the way you’ve been to me

TRAVIS: After all I have done

TRAVIS: Ur a laughingstock

: Nor did I have anything to do with that. I didn’t and I wouldn’t

TRAVIS: U r comical

TRAVIS: Ur are something else

TRAVIS: wow wow wow

: : I may be a liar, I may be *advertiser censored*, I may be evil, I may be a coward, I may not be worth the air that I breathe, I am most like the most horrible person you’ve ever had the misfortune of knowing, but one thing I am NOT, is violent. I did not and would not and would never slash your tires.

TRAVIS: Wow

TRAVIS: Write something u stupid idiot

TRAVIS: Just tell the truth

TRAVIS: Its ur lies

TRAVIS: U are why your life sucks

TRAVIS: Don’t u see

TRAVIS: you have only told partial truths to cover up lies

TRAVIS: All u have ever done is lie

TRAVIS: Cant u quit

TRAVIS: Quit

TRAVIS: Just quit lying

: T

: If I didn’t care I wouldn’t hurt and you wouldn’t have gotten hur

TRAVIS: Just be honest

: I don’t want to care about you at all.



===========5==========



==========6==========

TRAVIS: You don’t care

TRAVIS: Csare

TRAVIS: Don’t

: I don’t want to care about you

TRAVIS: U

TRAVIS: If I do why do only try to harm me

3:22AM : And I deserve a pile of *advertiser censored* for what I have done to my friend

: You deserve a wealth that is beyond this world

: You deserve so much more than the crap I’ve given to you

: I really am

: I’m so sorry

: and I tell myself that you are worthless to me

: Feeling starts to creep back in and I suppress it

: I wish that’s all you WERE to me. I try to tell myself that every day. That you mean NOTHING. And every time a

TRAVIS: It would be the first true thing you ever said to me

TRAVIS: I am *advertiser censored* to you

: I just wish you weren’t hurting right now

TRAVIS: Say the truth

: None

: I have no excuse

: I’m so so so sorry

: I really did love you but I let it get so distorted

TRAVIS: I am less than nothing to you

TRAVIS: U never saw me of more value as a piece of *advertiser censored* unless I was serving some purpose to you

TRAVIS: Couldn’t u ever try to love me

TRAVIS: and how do you repay me forgiving you by doing the same thing again

TRAVIS: you have hurt me so bad over and over again

TRAVIS: on countless occasions

TRAVIS: you have made me want to die

TRAVIS: you have not felt as much pain in all your life than what you have repeatedly caused me with your lies and invasions and the psycho *advertiser censored* you have subjected me to

TRAVIS: You can not conceive

TRAVIS: you don’t know what horror you have caused me

TRAVIS: you are so concerned with how many tears I’ve cried

: Please understand that

: It wasn’t really my intention to harm you

TRAVIS: How could you

TRAVIS: I gave u anything I could I sacrificed everything I could and you just tried to murder me from the inside out

: Im sorry Travis

TRAVIS: Defended the lies you told others with the lies you told me

TRAVIS: I have taken so much heat for you

TRAVIS: Ive sacrificed so much for you

=============6======================





===============7=================

TRAVIS: Why do you only try to harm me

TRAVIS: And then tell me why you hate me and desire to ruin my life

TRAVIS: I want the truth just once

TRAVIS: Say it

TRAVIS: Tell me the truth I hate you

TRAVIS: Your actions prove you hate me

TRAVIS: I want you to admit it

TRAVIS: I know that

: You have so many bright and wonderful things on your horizon

: Im just not worth it. I’m not.

: If it was unconditional love, it would never have hurt you.

TRAVIS: And I knew it

TRAVIS: So many times I have stared you in the eye and said if you ever had any love for me you’ll tell me the truth right now and you’d look straight into my eyes and lie

: Yes I just became so resentful. It was all very selfish. An act to try to protect myself from the pain but it didn’t work. I didn’t want to hurt you either. I am so sorry

TRAVIS: Please

TRAVIS: Can’t u just tell the truth

TRAVIS: It was succeeding to hate

TRAVIS: What you did to me wasn’t trying to love

TRAVIS: U didn’t try

TRAVIS: No

TRAVIS: your actions were truths

: I did try, but I didn’t try hard enough

TRAVIS: Ur words were lies

TRAVIS: Only hate

TRAVIS: Never love

TRAVIS: You only showed that you hated me

: I’ve done you more wrong and that is apparent without even keeping score

: It doesn’t begin to measure up

: Doesn’t compare to what ive put you through

TRAVIS: What was the point

: But you know what ? I deserved all of that. Every angry phone call. Every unpleasant word.

: There have been times when you’ve screamed into the phone so loud at me that the speaker was distorted and then you hung up. The pain was so sharp and so deep that I just couldn’t process it. I could only scream in response to the air. And I would scream at the top of my lungs until my throat was raw, “I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!” Until I had no energy left to say it and it had wittled down to a little whimp , “I hate you.” And I sobbed and cried until I couldn’t breath

TRAVIS: What was yr objective

TRAVIS: Me

TRAVIS: Why do you hate me

TRAVIS: Why did you have to do it to me

TRAVIS: I was a good guy

TRAVIS: Why me



=========7===============







============8=================

TRAVIS: Why did you manipulate me in to loving you

TRAVIS: It was about you

TRAVIS: You did those things to reel me in

: I am 100% responsible for this

: It should have all been different. It’s my fault

: Counterbalance the horrible things I’ve done

: I don’t know what you mean by ruin you? I would never deliberately set out to do that. I was bitter, yes, but I tried to be a big girl in other ways: by lending you my few hundred dollars when your re-fi depended on it, by giving you a membership that would have taken me out of chargebacks, by devoting time to pushing through those last few counters at the last hours of the month so you would qualify. It was an endless struggle. I was resentful for other things, but I’ve always wanted you to succeed. I haven’t deliberately set out to try and ruin you. I am so sorry for what I’ve done.

TRAVIS: Even right now

TRAVIS: Even now you only talk but your actions show that you hate me

TRAVIS: So tell me why

TRAVIS: U aren’t who u say u are

TRAVIS :Just tell me why

TRAVIS: why

TRAVIS: Why did you try to ruin me

TRAVIS: Then why

: I should have been better

: Yeah, but it was more me

TRAVIS: It’s me too

TRAVIS: I’m ok with you not being sorry about that

TRAVIS: And I don’t care

TRAVIS: You’re not sorry

TRAVIS: I ask that you not lie

TRAVIS: I don’t ask that you be sorry

TRAVIS: You’re not

TRAVIS: You are not sorry

TRAVIS: I ask that you not lie

TRAVIS: I know your not

: It was wrong

TRAVIS :No your not

: I was way overcome

: Again I’m so sorry for that

: I would have been content just cuddling, but I wasn’t strong enough

3:44AM I think I was little more than a dildo with a heartbeat to you

: Speaking of taking

TRAVIS: I think you are just demented and somehow thought taking from me (would) somehow benefit you

: It is a struggle inside of me. I want to take the high road, but the selfish part of me wants to take you and if you were here and the opportunity presented itself then I most likely would.

TRAVIS: I know ur not



===================8======================







===========9========

TRAVIS: But ur not sorry

: It is

TRAVIS: I don’t know

: Don’t answer

: Part of me is glad that we did that. Is it wrong to feel that way?

TRAVIS: Say ur not sorry for it

: I don’t know what else to say.

3:49AM : Never mind. We shouldn’t even be discussing this

: Street but I

: And then when you came around I want to do a different version of the “right thing” and it may be two way

: If you were here, I don’t know. But you’re not here and im not there and we’re behaving ourselves

TRAVIS: So lets just leave it at that.

TRAVIS: If I was there ud prove how not sorry u are

TRAVIS: U know u are not sorry

TRAVIS: So why say it

TRAVIS: U know ur not

TRAVIS: Ur not sorry

TRAVIS: It’s the other stuff that is blatant lies that I have a problem with

TRAVIS: I think you would choose a dollar bill over my life

TRAVIS: And you knew you were scamming me

TRAVIS: You scamed me

TRAVIS: I thought you were something you were not

TRAVIS: At times

TRAVIS: The pain you have caused is wose than death

TRAVIS: I really don’t

TRAVIS: At the core I don’t think you care if I live or die

TRAVIS: Nothing else

TRAVIS: That’s it

TRAVIS:I was a source of pleasure

TRAVIS: And its not much more than that

TRAVIS: But at least I know where my value is to you

TRAVIS: Ur not sorry for invading my privacy either

: But I still struggle with guilt and regret over it

: So I guess that means that at the core Im not sorry

: But what I was going to say is this

: Everything I feel moved to say wouldn’t hold an ounce of weight with you

TRAVIS: and you have nothing to say in reply

TRAVIS: Because your words speak it loud and clear

TRAVIS: And how do I know

TRAVIS: But outside of that nothing else about me is worth anything to you

TRAVIS: Unless you could get something sexual from me

TRAVIS: *advertiser censored*

TRAVIS: And you like being a *advertiser censored*

==================9=================







===================================10=======================

: I was *advertiser censored* in general and still am

: I was a *advertiser censored* for you because I was a *advertiser censored* for that feeling

: I know. The better I was, the more you wanted me, and the more you wanted me, the more we got to be together.

TRAVIS: But its because it seved you to be

TRAVIS: No Ill admit you were noble

: Either way that doesn’t speak for the way ive treated you outside your bedroom

: But you weren’t just a piece of meat.

3:59AM : the sexual part for me was an unevolved way of trying to be more loved. I knew you weren’t in love with me. I knew you cared, but that it wasn’t that kind of love. So when we made love, I was able to actually convince myself, yes lie to myself. It really felt for that space of time that it was something bigger and better. But that’s the intoxication felt from sex. And you made it so good. You became another person. It’s like you nearly worshipped me. I felt sooo so so loved when we did that. It became absolutely addicting.

: Because I suck

TRAVIS: These times I have forgiven you

TRAVIS: After all thos

TRAVIS: Why did you get in my facebook

: I know Travis

TRAVIS: Like I said im not mad about that

: Of course not. That’s the affect you have. Nobody else can do that. Absolute kryptonite. I don’t want to be a *advertiser censored*. I could joke that if being a *advertiser censored* for Travis is wrong then I don’t wanna be right. But this isn’t the time for jokes. I’ve been a bad influence

TRAVIS: Well it didn’t seem to be a problem on the phone

: I haven’t diddled myself once since ive moved here except for those times we were on the phone and we did it together

TRAVIS: I doubt that

: My sex drive is gone

TRAVIS: But

TRAVIS: Nut you’d like to with someone else wouldn’t you

: You’re the last person Ive ever been intimate with

TRAVIS: So have messed around with anyone else

: Which of course isn’t a problem at this point

: Just because Im not whorring around doesn’t mean I’d act any different. I need to keep myself out of that situation.

TRAVIS: That’s how many times you’ve been caught

TRAVIS: This has happened about 30 times

TRAVIS: I talk tougher and still for give

TRAVIS: You do it again

TRAVIS: I talk tough and forgive

TRAVIS: Then you do it again

TRAVIS: I lash you and forgive

TRAVIS: What do I do I forgive you

TRAVIS: You do something to make any sane person shun you

TRAVIS: The pattern

TRAVIS: Don’t you see

TRAVIS: Please

===========================10======================



==========================11===================



TRAVIS: This isn’t fair to me

TRAVIS: E

TRAVIS: Why do you always li

TRAVIS: Why did you try to cover it up after I told you I knew

TRAVIS: What was your reasoning

TRAVIS: Why

TRAVIS: Please Jodi

: I don’t have an answer. I really am awful. Truly. Can’t you agree that that’s the truest thing I’ve typed so far?

TRAVIS: I want a real answer

TRAVIS: U don’t

: I don’t deserve any rewards

TRAVIS: I want a real answe

: Because there is no excuse for me to be alive

TRAVIS: Why can’t you reward me for trusting in you over and over again

TRAVIS: I know it

TRAVIS: And you are gonna do it again

TRAVIS: And I am gonna forgive you

TRAVIS: I know that

TRAVIS: Im gonna forgive you and you are gonna do it again

TRAVIS: I know how this is gonna unfold already

TRAVIS: Im addicted

TRAVIS: Okay Jodi you win

: I don’t want to

TRAVIS: You know it

TRAVIS: And you’ll get away with it

TRAVIS: Because you know you can

: I wish I were better

TRAVIS: And that’s why you don’t hesitate to keep on ruining me

TRAVIS: You know if you just equal the drama with my anger I’ll take you back

TRAVIS: You know ill get pissed but I’ll take you back

TRAVIS: You always know

TRAVIS: You know ill take you back

TRAVIS: And you know it

TRAVIS: Yet im addicted to it

: Well there aren’t any positives left now, so you won’t be addicted much longer

TRAVIS: But its bull *advertiser censored*

TRAVIS: Im addicted to it

TRAVIS: Or your good façade that is in fact an act

TRAVIS: If all you were is positive

TRAVIS: The positives

TRAVIS: I am in partial addicted to you

TRAVIS: I have come to terms with it

TRAVIS: And I keep taking you back

TRAVIS: Every time

TRAVIS: You just kill me

=================11================



==================================12=============



TRAVIS: Its obvious by anyones reason that I should have never have (had?) anything to do with you

TRAVIS: Not how many infractions

TRAVIS: U knew that would be enough

TRAVIS: And you made sure I heard your voice

TRAVIS: But you called

: No, I don’t want to hurt you anymore. Bless you for your forgiveness, but you deserve better and I don’t deserve you.

TRAVIS: I tried to stay away this time

TRAVIS: Let’s just quit with the pretense

TRAVIS: Its out

TRAVIS: So there

TRAVIS: So lets just cut out the act

TRAVIS: I can’t keep up with this cycle

TRAVIS: Seriously I cant stand it

TRAVIS: Its killing me

TRAVIS: I’m just tired of all of this

TRAVIS: Whatever you may have found it wasn’t enough to deter you from whatever your purpose is so who freaking cares

: Because Im horrible

TRAVIS: If you want my freaking passwords just ask

TRAVIS: I don’t care anymore

TRAVIS: Well lets just ruin each others lives then

: Honestly, aside from what I wanted to say, it was me that wanted to hear your voice just once. You’re not the only one addicted.

TRAVIS: Now you quit with yours

TRAVIS: So ill quit with mine

TRAVIS: Anyway

TRAVIS: You know its my own façade

TRAVIS: I’m am going to quit acting tough

TRAVIS: Just do what you intend to do

TRAVIS: But lets not hide behind the façade

TRAVIS: Ruin it

TRAVIS: So that’s fine

TRAVIS: You are ruining my life but I’m addicted

TRAVIS: Because I’m addicted

TRAVIS: Was my way of getting you closer

TRAVIS: The email and everything as true as it was

TRAVIS: It was

TRAVIS: Why go through all that

TRAVIS: And then forgive

TRAVIS: Then ill yell

TRAVIS: You’ll get it anyway

TRAVIS: If you want to sneak around just tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you

TRAVIS: Lets just quit with it all

TRAVIS: No reason to label it

============================12==================





====================13======================



TRAVIS: It it is what it is

TRAVIS: I’m not saying it’s a friendship

: OK, maybe a spark of a dare

TRAVIS: And ill be Ok with it

: I don’t ever dare to hope for that at this point

TRAVIS: Just say this I’m not sorry

TRAVIS: You don’t care Jodi

TRAVIS: You knew one call and you’d reel me in

: Violated that one plenty of times

: I’ve proven that its not friendship

TRAVIS: I thought I might break away this time but you knew I couldn’t

: Then what do you want me to say? Whatever the purpose is I don’t understand it. Ive tried to figure it out. It’s not marriage. Its not sex.

TRAVIS: That’s fine

TRAVIS: Whateve it is

TRAVIS: I serve a purpose of yours

TRAVIS: Its ok

TRAVIS: Just stop

: I only contribute to the misery factor in your life

TRAVIS: U don’t care Jodi

: I just don’t want you to be miserable anymore

: Ummmm…..ok?

TRAVIS: Deal

TRAVIS: And that way I can quit forgiving

TRAVIS: Ur not sorry so quit apologizing

TRAVIS: It will save us a lot of time and energy

TRAVIS: Well?

4:38AM : Travis, in the most non-pretentious way, you are like an angel that gets snared by my evil influences. But I, too, am like an angel that gets ensnared by evil influences. And along I come, looking like an angel, speaking sweetly, acting nicely, pleasing you in ways you had only fantasized and of course it’s easy to get caught up in that. I

TRAVIS: My r’s aren’t working

TRAVIS: Sorry

TRAVIS: Through

TRAVIS: No more faking soy no more faking like im throught with you

TRAVIS: So are we done with all the pretenses

: Ok

TRAVIS: Okay?

TRAVIS: Might as well just give ut up

TRAVIS: Right

TRAVIS: We’ve been over this

TRAVIS: Listen

: So there is really no point in me continuing to breathe. And that’s not a poor-me cry for sympathy.

TRAVIS: Are

TRAVIS: I know they ae

==========================13===================



=============================14===================



: My point is that all of the things you said when you were playing the tough Travis is true.

TRAVIS: What your point

TRAVIS: So

TRAVIS: Okay

TRAVIS: Okay well say it with details

TRAVIS: And be specific

: I cant just say it as a blanket statement like that. It’s too convoluted. It’s not black and white.

TRAVIS: Tell me that you are not sorry

TRAVIS: So tell me the truth

: Yes

TRAVIS: So are we clear

TRAVIS: Oh well

: I didn’t know you were chatting with me there.

: I reading what you messaged me on Facebook

TRAVIS: What is taking you so long

: You’re not talking to yourself

TRAVIS: Why cant u respond

: No

TRAVIS: Am I talking to myself

TRAVIS: Right

TRAVIS: Right

TRAVIS: Right?

TRAVIS: Liberating

TRAVIS: It should be libersting to you

TRAVIS: Im okay with that if you’ll admit it

TRAVIS: Ur not sorry

TRAVIS: So lets quit with it

TRAVIS: all of that talk has happened many times and it has never changed anything

: ok

TRAVIS: so let’s quit with the bull shiz

: right

TRAVIS: right

: I’m here

TRAVIS: Jodi?

TRAVIS: Hello

TRAVIS: Right

TRAVIS: Right

TRAVIS: Right

TRAVIS: But say it

: Deal

TRAVIS: Yes

: Right now?

TRAVIS: And tell me

TRAVIS: Yes

===============================14==================





===========================15==================

: Call you?

TRAVIS: Call

: s

: Because sometimes the truth suck

TRAVIS: Why

: This is difficult It will only piss you off even more

TRAVIS: Pure

TRAVIS: because I feel it will be the first pue truth you’ve ever told me

TRAVIS: I want to hear it

TRAVIS: Just call me and tell me

TRAVIS: I don’t want bull shiz that neither one of us believe

: Ok

=================================15==================

 

[Hope4More]

LAST, MY (INCOMPLETE) REORDERD GCHAT
(incomplete/partially completed portions section is in brackets)

-------------
2:36AM. TRAVIS: and by the way your little comment to Danny Jones makes you look like a cheap *advertiser censored*

: Only you would say that. Anyone else would see it for what it is: an Anchorman joke. I was just giving him a hard time for showing off and being such a ham. You and I had a conversation about his Facebook pics and their content. I was just razzing him.

TRAVIS: no you were flirting with him and you know better

TRAVIS: its danny jones

TRAVIS: maybe u are just onto the next dick

TRAVIS: and he is an easy target

: His temperature is cold when it comes to that

TRAVIS: so you have checked it then

TRAVIS: what a freaking *advertiser censored*

TRAVIS: u r too much

TRAVIS: maybe kyle kimbrell then

:I t’s based off of a vibe I got at Systems many many months ago

: I tried having a conversation with him, and he was cordial, but never flirty or anything like it.

TRAVIS: I’m glad to see you are checking the vibe of danny jones you must feel so classy

TRAVIS: yet you flit anyways

: Like you, I flirt because it’s “harmless”, means nothing”, and there are “no intentions” behind it

TRAVIS: have you forgotten that you are dealing with humans ?

: No.

TRAVIS: :have you forgotten what is like to be a human?

TRAVIS: Perhaps.

TRAVIS: in everything you throw at me, its all on agenda to save ur own *advertiser censored*

TRAVIS: just like that disgusting call today

TRAVIS: ur words are worthless

TRAVIS: Don’t freaking ignore me

: I’m emailing you!

TRAVIS: and don’t send me an email with all your bogus lies

TRAVIS: you don’t know how to tell truth

: Look, I don’t want to be like this

TRAVIS: u are like this

: I know

2:42AM TRAVIS: like I said, ‘ive never dealt with a more solid form of pure evil

: I don’t know what to do

: I really am sorry for everything

: I know you don’t want apologies

: I don’t know what to say

TRAVIS: You are not sorry

TRAVIS: what I want is for you to quit blatantly lying

TRAVIS: We both know by your actions you view me as pure *advertiser censored*

: Can I just send the email? I’m almost finished

TRAVIS: Pure freaking *advertiser censored*

: No Travis

TRAVIS: Ur email is *advertiser censored* too

: One day it will be clear

TRAVIS: I hate u

: I’ve acted so wrong

(just before 2:45) TRAVIS: do realize that

TRAVIS: I hate you

TRAVIS: So much

TRAVIS: you have been more cause of pain than death of my father

TRAVIS: you are relentless in your torture of people that have loved you and protected you and served you and what do you do

TRAVIS: you try to destroy them

TRAVIS: you are the lowest of low

TRAVIS: you are sick and evil and knowing you makes me want to kill myself in punishment

TRAVIS: Im so stupid

TRAVIS: I don’t even know if ur human

TRAVIS: Hitler had more of concious

: I am so so sorry. You are light unto this world. I can’t even compare

TRAVIS: Shut up

TRAVIS: Just shut up

TRAVIS: Can’t you remember when you choose to take away my human rights what I have done for you

TRAVIS: Can’t all the things I have done for you help you to stop from taking away what belongs to me

TRAVIS: how can u be such an ingrate

TRAVIS: How many times can someone pay some one for service by stabbing them in the back

TRAVIS: How do you live

TRAVIS: how does a heart beat in such a corrupted carcass

TRAVIS: Ur email obviously wasn’t almost finished. another lie

TRAVIS: Do u know how to tell the truth

TRAVIS: Ru capable of it

TRAVIS: Have u ever

TRAVIS: Ever in yr life

TRAVIS: When u have had the temptation to lie have u ever resisted it and told the truth

TRAVIS: Even once

TRAVIS: Of course not

TRAVIS: ur parents must be proud

: They’re not proud of me

TRAVIS: They shouldn’t be

: They didn’t even come watch me sing even though the rest of my family did Not that you care, but that’s just to illustrate how much they’re not proud

TRAVIS: Miss high class server can’t even get a job at a freakin diner

TRAVIS: even when you say u are telling the truth u are lying

TRAVIS: Even when u come clean it is a partial version of the truth to serve your purpose

TRAVIS: you have been nothing but a liar from beginning

TRAVIS: Ur evil

TRAVIS: If I was

TRAVIS: it is gone because of u

TRAVIS: send your piece of *advertiser censored* lie fest so I can mock it

TRAVIS: we already know based on all the last emails you sent and then invaded my privacy that it is

TRAVIS: Why continue lying

TRAVIS: Don’t you ever want to tell the truth

TRAVIS: Ever

TRAVIS: U never have

TRAVIS: Is there any desire

TRAVIS: Any

: I can’t send the email

TRAVIS: At all

TRAVIS: Why not

TRAVIS:

TRAVIS: I have waited

: it’s not letting me put your address in the recipient bar

TRAVIS: and now u tell me no

TRAVIS: Copy it how freaking convenient

TRAVIS: Did u ever even write one

: OK, I figured it out

TRAVIS: That is ur email

TRAVIS: Who freaking cares about you

: I’m a full time bartender now at a Mexican restaurant

: It’s not a sobe story

TRAVIS: A *advertiser censored* job

TRAVIS: B

TRAVIS: maybe u can get tips for BJ’s

TRAVIS: Oh I’m sure you can

TRAVIS: Ur good at that

: yeah, according to what you’ve said, I’d have that car paid off in one shift with vacation money to spare

: maybe I can use you as a reference

TRAVIS: yeah u r 3 hole wonder

TRAVIS: u r good for something

TRAVIS: And always have been

TRAVIS: u have never given out the truth for truths sake

TRAVIS: u have never

TRAVIS: how must it be to be solely a liar

TRAVIS: Nothing else

TRAVIS: to live a life identical to satan

TRAVIS: And you after everything send some thing down the pipe as you log into my facebook

TRAVIS: You are a rotten lunatic

: What does that mean??!

TRAVIS: U slashed the Fing tires

TRAVIS: u did

TRAVIS: I know u did

TRAVIS: Ur a liar

TRAVIS: U don’t care either

TRAVIS: Don’t u see your lies is why ur life is worthless

TRAVIS: It will always be until you tell the truth

TRAVIS: You have got to learn

TRAVIS: Can u learn

TRAVIS: If not

TRAVIS: you are taking up people air

TRAVIS: Cant u tell the truth

TRAVIS: Ur worthless

TRAVIS: Ur *advertiser censored*

TRAVIS: Is it impossible

TRAVIS: seriously

TRAVIS: Is it impossible

TRAVIS: I loved someone that never existed

TRAVIS: What I thought was real never existed

TRAVIS: Finish your utterly worthless email

TRAVIS: Where is it

TRAVIS: U sasid it was almost done

TRAVIS: Can’t you tell the truth

TRAVIS: I know you got into my computer and erased a letter I SENT to Lisa

TRAVIS: I know you did

: What!?

: No

TRAVIS: Shut up

TRAVIS: Shut up

TRAVIS: I don’t want more lies

TRAVIS: U stole my journals

TRAVIS: You slashed my tires

TRAVIS: And I know it

TRAVIS: I know it

TRAVIS: U said u were almost done and you lied again

: Well, it would have been done sooner but I was watching you type

TRAVIS: That is what took u so long to write

TRAVIS: Ur pathetic

TRAVIS: Write something, you stupid idiot.

TRAVIS: Wow

: : I may be a liar, I may be *advertiser censored*, I may be evil, I may be a coward, I may not be worth the air that I breathe, I am most like the most horrible person you’ve ever had the misfortune of knowing, but one thing I am NOT, is violent. I did not and would not and would never slash your tires.

TRAVIS: wow wow wow

TRAVIS: Ur are something else

TRAVIS: U r comical

: Nor did I have anything to do with that. I didn’t and I wouldn’t

TRAVIS: Ur a laughingstock

TRAVIS: After all I have done

TRAVIS: How could u be the way you’ve been to me

TRAVIS: I want an answer

TRAVIS: NOW!!!

: I don’t have answer

: I don’t know why

: I hurt too

TRAVIS: Let me tell u why

: I guess maybe it was just my way of trying to renounce you

TRAVIS: Because you only care about Jodi

: I acted immature

: I acted stupid

TRAVIS: U don’t care about me

: I Shouldn’t have gone about it that way

TRAVIS: That’s why

: What can I really say though?

: “ I agree?”

TRAVIS: U can tell the truth

TRAVIS: Tell it

TRAVIS: Say the truth

: I just wish you weren’t hurting right now

TRAVIS: I am *advertiser censored* to you

TRAVIS: It would be the first true thing you ever said to me

: I wish that’s all you WERE to me. I try to tell myself that every day. That you mean NOTHING. And every time a

: Feeling starts to creep back in and I suppress it

: and I tell myself that you are worthless to me

: I’m so sorry

: I really am

: You deserve so much more than the crap I’ve given to you

: You deserve a wealth that is beyond this world

3:22AM : And I deserve a pile of *advertiser censored* for what I have done to my friend

TRAVIS: If I do why do only try to harm me

TRAVIS: U

: I don’t want to care about you

TRAVIS: don’t

TRAVIS: Csare

TRAVIS: You don’t care

: I don’t want to care about you at all.

TRAVIS: Just be honest

: If I didn’t care I wouldn’t hurt and you wouldn’t have gotten hurt

TRAVIS: Just quit lying

TRAVIS: Quit

TRAVIS: Cant u quit

TRAVIS: All u have ever done is lie

TRAVIS: you have only told partial truths to cover up lies

TRAVIS: Don’t u see

TRAVIS: U are why your life sucks

TRAVIS: Its ur lies

TRAVIS: Just tell the truth

TRAVIS: I want you to admit it

TRAVIS: Your actions prove you hate me

TRAVIS: Tell me the truth I hate you

TRAVIS: Say it

TRAVIS: I want the truth just once

TRAVIS: And then tell me why you hate me and desire to ruin my life

TRAVIS: Why do you only try to harm me

TRAVIS: Ive sacrificed so much for you

TRAVIS: I have taken so much heat for you

TRAVIS: Defended the lies you told others with the lies you told me

: Im sorry Travis

3:24AM TRAVIS: I gave u anything I could I sacrificed everything I could and you just tried to murder me from the inside out

TRAVIS: How could you

: It wasn’t really my intention to harm you

: Please understand that

TRAVIS: you are so concerned with how many tears I’ve cried

TRAVIS: you don’t know what horror you have caused me

TRAVIS: You can not conceive

TRAVIS: you have not felt as much pain in all your life than what you have repeatedly caused me with your lies and invasions and the psycho *advertiser censored* you have subjected me to

TRAVIS: you have made me want to die

TRAVIS: on countless occasions

TRAVIS: you have hurt me so bad over and over again

TRAVIS: and how do you repay me forgiving you by doing the same thing again

TRAVIS: Couldn’t u ever try to love me

TRAVIS: U never saw me of more value as a piece of *advertiser censored* unless I was serving some purpose to you

TRAVIS: I am less than nothing to you

: I really did love you but I let it get so distorted

: I’m so so so sorry

: I have no excuse

: None

TRAVIS: What was yr objective

========================================

{{{{{{{{{{: There have been times when you’ve screamed into the phone so loud at me that the speaker was distorted and then you hung up. The pain was so sharp and so deep that I just couldn’t process it. I could only scream in response to the air. And I would scream at the top of my lungs until my throat was raw, “I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!” Until I had no energy left to say it and it had wittled down to a little whimp , “I hate you.” And I sobbed and cried until I couldn’t breath

: But you know what ? I deserved all of that. Every angry phone call. Every unpleasant word.

TRAVIS: What was the point

: Doesn’t compare to what ive put you through

: It doesn’t begin to measure up

: I’ve done you more wrong and that is apparent without even keeping score

TRAVIS: You only showed that you hated me

TRAVIS: Never love

TRAVIS: Only hate

TRAVIS: Ur words were lies

: I did try, but I didn’t try hard enough

TRAVIS: your actions were truths

TRAVIS: No

TRAVIS: U didn’t try

TRAVIS: What you did to me wasn’t trying to love

TRAVIS: It was succeeding to hate

TRAVIS: Can’t u just tell the truth

TRAVIS: Please

: Yes I just became so resentful. It was all very selfish. An act to try to protect myself from the pain but it didn’t work. I didn’t want to hurt you either. I am so sorry

TRAVIS: So many times I have stared you in the eye and said if you ever had any love for me you’ll tell me the truth right now and you’d look straight into my eyes and lie

TRAVIS: And I knew it

: If it was unconditional love, it would never have hurt you.

: Im just not worth it. I’m not.

: You have so many bright and wonderful things on your horizon

TRAVIS: I know that

TRAVIS: I think you are just demented and somehow thought taking from me (would) somehow benefit you

: Speaking of taking

3:44AM I think I was little more than a dildo with a heartbeat to you

: I would have been content just cuddling, but I wasn’t strong enough

: again I’m so sorry for that

: I was way overcome

TRAVIS :no your not

: It was wrong

TRAVIS: I know your not

TRAVIS: You are not sorry

TRAVIS: You’re not

TRAVIS: I don’t ask that you be sorry

TRAVIS: I ask that you not lie

TRAVIS: You’re not sorry

TRAVIS: And I don’t care

TRAVIS: I’m ok with you not being sorry about that

TRAVIS: It’s me too

: Yeah, but it was more me

: I should have been better

TRAVIS: Then why

TRAVIS: Why did you try to ruin me

TRAVIS: why

TRAVIS :Just tell me why

TRAVIS: U aren’t who u say u are

TRAVIS: So tell me why

TRAVIS: Even now you only talk but your actions show that you hate me

TRAVIS: Even right now

: I don’t know what you mean by ruin you? I would never deliberately set out to do that. I was bitter, yes, but I tried to be a big girl in other ways: by lending you my few hundred dollars when your re-fi depended on it, by giving you a membership that would have taken me out of chargebacks, by devoting time to pushing through those last few counters at the last hours of the month so you would qualify. It was an endless struggle. I was resentful for other things, but I’ve always wanted you to succeed. I haven’t deliberately set out to try and ruin you. I am so

sorry for what I’ve done.

: Those nice things above don’t begin to

: counterbalance the horrible things I’ve done

: It should have all been different. It’s my fault

: I am 100% responsible for this

TRAVIS: You did those things to reel me in

TRAVIS: It was about you

TRAVIS: Why did you manipulate me in to loving you

TRAVIS: Why me

TRAVIS: I was a good guy

TRAVIS: Why did you have to do it to me

TRAVIS: Why do you hate me

3:59AM : the sexual part for me was an unevolved way of trying to be more loved. I knew you weren’t in love with me. I knew you cared, but that it wasn’t that kind of love. So when we made love, I was able to actually convince myself, yes lie to myself. It really felt for that space of time that it was something bigger and better. But that’s the intoxication felt from sex. And you made it so good. You became another person. It’s like you nearly worshipped me. I felt sooo so so loved when we did that. It became absolutely addicting.

: But you weren’t just a piece of meat.

: Either way that doesn’t speak for the way ive treated you outside your bedroom

TRAVIS: No Ill admit you were noble in the sack

TRAVIS: But its because it seved you to be

: I know. The better I was, the more you wanted me, and the more you wanted me, the more we got to be together.

: I was a *advertiser censored* for you because I was a *advertiser censored* for that feeling

: I was *advertiser censored* in general and still am

TRAVIS: And you like being a *advertiser censored*

TRAVIS: *advertiser censored*

TRAVIS: Unless you could get something sexual from me

TRAVIS: But outside of that nothing else about me is worth anything to you

TRAVIS: And how do I know

TRAVIS: Because your words speak it loud and clear

TRAVIS: and you have nothing to say in reply

: Everything I feel moved to say wouldn’t hold an ounce of weight with you

: But what I was going to say is this

You are not sorry for invading my privacy either

TRAVIS: But at least I know where my value is to you

I was a source of pleasure to you

TRAVIS: And its not much more than that

TRAVIS: That’s it

TRAVIS: Nothing else

TRAVIS: At the core I don’t think you care if I live or die

TRAVIS: I really don’t

TRAVIS: The pain you have caused is wose than death

TRAVIS: at times

TRAVIS: I thought you were something you were not

TRAVIS: You scamed me

TRAVIS: And you knew you were scamming me

TRAVIS: I think you would choose a dollar bill over my life

TRAVIS: It’s the other stuff that is blatant lies that I have a problem with

: It is a struggle inside of me. I want to take the high road, but the selfish part of me wants to take you and if you were here and the opportunity presented itself then I most likely would

: So I guess that means that at the core Im not sorry

TRAVIS: I know ur not

TRAVIS: If I was there ud prove how not sorry u are

TRAVIS: So lets just leave it at that.

: If you were here, I don’t know. But you’re not here and im not there and we’re behaving ourselves

: And then when you came around I want to do a different version of the “right thing” and it may be two way

: Street but I

3:49AM : Never mind. We shouldn’t even be discussing this

---------------------

: I don’t know what else to say.

TRAVIS: Say ur not sorry for it

: Part of me is glad that we did that. Is it wrong to feel that way?

: Don’t answer

TRAVIS: I don’t know

: It is

TRAVIS: But ur not sorry

---------------------------

TRAVIS: Ur not sorry

TRAVIS: U know ur not

TRAVIS: So why say it

TRAVIS: U know u are not sorry

---------------

: But I still struggle with guilt and regret over it

TRAVIS: Please Jodi

TRAVIS: Why

TRAVIS: What was your reasoning

TRAVIS: Why did you try to cover it up after I told you I knew

TRAVIS: Why do you always lie

TRAVIS: This isn’t fair to me

TRAVIS: Please

TRAVIS: Don’t you see

TRAVIS: The pattern

TRAVIS: You do something to make any sane person shun you

TRAVIS: What do I do I forgive you

TRAVIS: I lash you and forgive

TRAVIS: Then you do it again

TRAVIS: I talk tough and forgive

TRAVIS: You do it again

TRAVIS: I talk tougher and still for give

TRAVIS: This has happened about 30 times

TRAVIS: That’s how many times you’ve been caught

-----------------------

: Just because Im not whorring around doesn’t mean I’d act any different. I need to keep myself out of that situation.

: Which of course isn’t a problem at this point

TRAVIS: So have messed around with anyone else

: You’re the last person Ive ever been intimate with

TRAVIS: but you’d like to with someone else wouldn’t you

: My sex drive is gone

TRAVIS: I doubt that

: I haven’t diddled myself once since ive moved here except for those times we were on the phone and we did it together

TRAVIS: Well it didn’t seem to be a problem on the phone

4:10AM : Of course not. That’s the affect you have. Nobody else can do that. Absolute kryptonite. I don’t want to be a *advertiser censored*. I could joke that if being a *advertiser censored* for Travis is wrong then I don’t wanna be right. But this isn’t the time for jokes. I’ve been a bad influence

TRAVIS: Like I said I’m not mad about that

: I know Travis

TRAVIS: Why did you get in my Facebook

TRAVIS: After all thos

TRAVIS: These times I have forgiven you

: Because I suck

------------------

TRAVIS: Why can’t you reward me for trusting in you over and over again

4:11AM : Because there is no excuse for me to be alive

TRAVIS: I want a real answe

: Because Im horrible

: I don’t deserve any rewards

TRAVIS: U don’t

TRAVIS: I want a real answer

: I don’t have an answer. I really am awful. Truly. Can’t you agree that that’s the truest thing I’ve typed so far?

TRAVIS: Okay Jodi you win

TRAVIS: Im addicted

TRAVIS: I know how this is gonna unfold already

TRAVIS: Im gonna forgive you and you are gonna do it again

TRAVIS: I know that

TRAVIS: And I am gonna forgive you

TRAVIS: And you are gonna do it again

TRAVIS: I know it

------------------

---------------------

TRAVIS: I have come to terms with it

TRAVIS: I am in partial addicted to you

TRAVIS: The positives

TRAVIS: If all you were is positive

TRAVIS: Or your good façade that is in fact an act

TRAVIS: Im addicted to it

TRAVIS: But its bull *advertiser censored*

: Well there aren’t any positives left now, so you won’t be addicted much longer

TRAVIS: Yet im addicted to it

TRAVIS: And you know it

TRAVIS: You know ill take you back

TRAVIS: You always know

TRAVIS: You know ill get pissed but I’ll take you back

TRAVIS: You know if you just equal the drama with my anger I’ll take you back

TRAVIS: And that’s why you don’t hesitate to keep on ruining me

: I wish I were better

TRAVIS: And you’ll get away with it

TRAVIS: You know it

: I don’t want to

TRAVIS: Every time

TRAVIS: And I keep taking you back


TRAVIS: Lets just quit with it all

TRAVIS: If you want to sneak around just tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you

TRAVIS: You’ll get it anyway

TRAVIS: Then ill yell

TRAVIS: And then forgive

TRAVIS: Why go through all that

TRAVIS: It was

TRAVIS: The email and everything as true as it was

TRAVIS: Was my way of getting you closer

TRAVIS: Because I’m addicted

TRAVIS: You are ruining my life but I’m addicted

TRAVIS: So that’s fine

TRAVIS: Ruin it

TRAVIS: But lets not hide behind the façade

TRAVIS: Just do what you intend to do

TRAVIS: I’m am going to quit acting tough

TRAVIS: You know its my own façade

TRAVIS: Anyway

TRAVIS: So ill quit with mine

TRAVIS: You just kill me

TRAVIS: Now you quit with yours

4:25AM : Honestly, aside from what I wanted to say, it was me that wanted to hear your voice just once. You’re not the only one addicted.

TRAVIS: Well lets just ruin each others lives then

TRAVIS: I don’t care anymore

TRAVIS: If you want my freaking passwords just ask

TRAVIS: Whatever you may have found it wasn’t enough to deter you from whatever your purpose is so who freaking cares

TRAVIS: I’m just tired of all of this

TRAVIS: Its killing me

TRAVIS: Seriously I cant stand it

TRAVIS: I can’t keep up with this cycle

TRAVIS: So lets just cut out the act

TRAVIS: So there

TRAVIS: Its out

TRAVIS: Let’s just quit with the pretense

TRAVIS: I tried to stay away this time

: No, I don’t want to hurt you anymore. Bless you for your forgiveness, but you deserve better and I don’t deserve you.

TRAVIS: But you called

TRAVIS: And you made sure I heard your voice

TRAVIS: U knew that would be enough

TRAVIS: Not how many infractions

TRAVIS: Its obvious by anyones reason that I should have never have (had?) anything to do with you












: I just don’t want you to be miserable anymore

TRAVIS: U don’t care Jodi

: I only contribute to the misery factor in your life

TRAVIS: Just stop

TRAVIS: Its ok

TRAVIS: I serve a purpose of yours

TRAVIS: Whateve it is

TRAVIS: That’s fine

4:30AM : Then what do you want me to say? Whatever the purpose is I don’t understand it. Ive tried to figure it out. It’s not marriage. Its not sex.

TRAVIS: I thought I might break away this time but you knew I couldn’t

: I’ve proven that its not friendship

: Violated that one plenty of times

TRAVIS: You knew one call and you’d reel me in

TRAVIS: You don’t care Jodi

TRAVIS: Just say this I’m not sorry

: I don’t ever dare to hope for that at this point

TRAVIS: And ill be Ok with it

: OK, maybe a spark of a dare

TRAVIS: I’m not saying it’s a friendship

TRAVIS: It it is what it is

TRAVIS: No reason to label it





==========================}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}



TRAVIS: So are we clear

: Yes

TRAVIS: So tell me the truth

TRAVIS: Tell me that you are not sorry

: I cant just say it as a blanket statement like that. It’s too convoluted. It’s not black and white.

TRAVIS: Okay well say it with details

TRAVIS: And be specific

TRAVIS: Okay

TRAVIS: So

TRAVIS: What your point

: My point is that all of the things you said when you were playing the tough Travis is true.

TRAVIS: I know they ae

TRAVIS: Are

: So there is really no point in me continuing to breathe. And that’s not a poor-me cry for sympathy.

TRAVIS: Listen

TRAVIS: We’ve been over this

TRAVIS: Right

TRAVIS: Might as well just give ut up

TRAVIS: Okay?

: Ok

TRAVIS: So are we done with all the pretenses

TRAVIS: No more faking soy no more faking like I’m thoug with you

TRAVIS: Through

TRAVIS: Sorry

TRAVIS: My r’s aren’t working

4:38AM : Travis, in the most non-pretentious way, you are like an angel that gets snared by my evil influences. But I, too, am like an angel that gets ensnared by evil influences. And along I come, looking like an angel, speaking sweetly, acting nicely, pleasing you in ways you had only fantasized and of course it’s easy to get caught up in that. I

TRAVIS: Well?

TRAVIS: It will save us a lot of time and energy

TRAVIS: Ur not sorry so quit apologizing

TRAVIS: And that way I can quit forgiving

: Ummmm…..ok?

TRAVIS: Deal

: Ok

TRAVIS: I don’t want bull shiz that neither one of us believe

TRAVIS: Just call me and tell me

TRAVIS: I want to hear it

TRAVIS: because I feel it will be the first pue truth you’ve ever told me

TRAVIS: Pure

: This is difficult It will only piss you off even more

TRAVIS: Why

: Because sometimes the truth suck

: s

TRAVIS: Call

: Call you?

TRAVIS: Yes

TRAVIS: And tell me

: Right now?

TRAVIS: Yes

: Deal

TRAVIS: But say it

TRAVIS: Right

TRAVIS: Right

TRAVIS: Right

TRAVIS: Hello

TRAVIS: Jodi?

: I’m here

TRAVIS: right

: right

TRAVIS: so let’s quit with the bull shiz

: ok

TRAVIS: all of that talk has happened many times and it has never changed anything

TRAVIS: So lets quit with it

TRAVIS: Ur not sorry

TRAVIS: Im okay with that if you’ll admit it

TRAVIS: It should be libersting to you

TRAVIS: Liberating

TRAVIS: Right?

TRAVIS: Right

TRAVIS: Right

TRAVIS: Am I talking to myself

: No

TRAVIS: Why cant u respond

: You’re not talking to yourself

TRAVIS: What is taking you so long

: I reading what you messaged me on Facebook

: I didn’t know you were chatting with me there.

TRAVIS: Oh well

 

[Hope4More]

Last thought about the GChat before I happily return to my pina coladas:

IMO, the single largest whopper of a clue that Travis had in no way "given up" or had forgiven the or had succumbed to his "addiction" to the cycle kicked off by her psychological abuse/gaslighting:

Given everything we know about the context of the chat, including the fact it occurred only 3 days after he had tried to tell her he was done with her (and then didn't communicate with her until the 25th) does it make a lick of emotional or common sense to anyone, no matter which way the transcript is read, that he was being straightforward/truthful when he told the that the email he sent her was "my way of getting you closer"?

What BS. IMO, he had thought before May 25 that he was "in control," then had discovered he was not (her "dire communication).

He responded first with great rage, but notice how the overt rage fades after he finally receives her email response. He berates her about lying after that, repeatedly, but he also begins to sound plaintive- (why did you do this to me? I was a good guy. Why do you hate me?).
I don't think the email contained what he expected, or at least hoped for.

It's after she won't even admit to what he knows she did- tire slashing etc, and when she won't stop with her many games that he tells her "you win."

I have little doubt that he was being totally honest when he told her he was exhausted beyond all measure with the cycle of transgressions and forgiving, and with her lies, and that he meant it when he said- "just do what you intend to do, I don't care anymore," and, " whatever you found couldn't be all that terrible because it hasn't stopped you from doing whatever you plan to do."

One explanation for the"getting closer to you" is that when he said it, he was backing off his rage lest he push her into following through on whatever her "plan" might be, but felt less concerned the longer he thought about it.

After all, he might have concluded, the odds weren't very good that a pathological liar who rountinely used sex to get what she wanted, and who in fact had never been the spiritual seeker & believer she'd claimed to be, would actually feel any need, much less an urgent one, to go come clean with her bishop.

 

[Pasasana]

THE MAY 26th CHAT


Years ago, BK obtained the only original transcript of the full 16 pages of IM’s exchanged between Travis and the on May 26 (“the Gmail chat”). The chat has been posted on several sites since then.

The transcript on BK’s site isn’t the exact transcript entered into evidence at trial. Both the trial and BK’s transcripts, though, were pieced together those 16 pages of IM’s. BK’s transcript is confusing to read, largely because EACH PAGE of the IM’s must be read from the bottom up. Since times aren’t provided for any of the IM’s on BK’s transcript, it’s very difficult to know where any given page of IM’s (within the pages of the transcript itself) begins or ends, and thus, to be certain of the correct sequence of the May 26 conversation.

BK notes about the transcript on her site that the entire transcript should be read backwards (last page first). The few peeps who have also posted the transcript online took that advice, and ordered the chat from the last page first. None of the transcripts available online, including BK’s, reordered each page of IM’s (most still read bottom to top) WITHIN the overall sequence of the 16 pages.

The overall sequence of IM’s matters. Here’s the difference:

1. Read from the last page to the first: Travis sent the very angry texts, calling her a sociopath and saying she was the worst thing that ever happened to him, then began the IM chat by telling her to call him, because he thought she was ready to tell him “the first pure truth you’ve ever told me,” then appeared to give up (“you win, Jodi, I quit”), then, towards the very end of the chat, went completely ballistic and levelled those worst insults (3-hole wonder, corrupted carcass, etc).

2. Read from the first page through the last: Travis sent the very angry texts, calling her a sociopath and a *advertiser censored* and saying she was the worst thing that ever happened to him, then began the IM chat in a rage, continuing to call her a *advertiser censored* and a liar, then appeared to give up (“you win Jodi, I quit”) , which solicited what may have seemed to him the beginning of a “confession” by the , which in turn led him to telling her to call him, because he thought she was ready to tell him “the first pure truth you’ve ever told me.”

Which is the correct order? IMO, reading the chat from first page to last makes the most sense, both emotionally and contextually. Witness testimony from both trials also supports that read. When I first reordered the chat a couple of years ago, I used as a guide every bit of trial testimony in which a witness provided specific information from the chat which linked the time and/or page from the chat with a direct or paraphrased quote. BK’s notes that she took in the courtroom during the PP2 were particularly helpful in providing times, but also the overall sequence of the transcript—first page to last.

I reordered the entire chat those years ago, but sadly, never posted it (concern about restrictions), and neither did I save the reorder, on paper or on my computer. When Pocket set us all a’sleuthing again those weeks ago () I redid much, but not all of the work again. For me, at least, it is excruciatingly slow, laborious, and frustrating work (my cognitive deficits are a major impediment to doing this particular kind of analysis), and at the section bracketed below, I surrendered.

To anyone who is interested in completing the job---feel free (very, very, free ).

---------------------------------------

The order of separate GChat posts:



1. This first, of notes relating to chat order

2. The May 25th texts leading into the GChat

3. The BK transcript of GChat (not directly from her site; I had to retype the entire thing

4. My (incomplete) reordering of the chat

I may be mistaken, but I think Lisa Wilson has all or most of the GChat on her blog, or in one of her books.
Jodi and Travis, May 26, 2008 – Transcription of gmail chat

ETA: Sorry, I posted this before I saw what a complete job you had done. As always.

 

[FelicityLemon]

Wow! What a great (and frustrating) read and you deserve a medal for all your work here Hope4More! She really and truly is a .

The chats/texts read as though 99% of ' texts were deleted. T is obviously responding to her several times, but what he's responding to is not showing. She's nothing, if not clever.

Nothing like watching (or listening to) a psychopath in action. From what I've read so far, the only texts of hers available in those chats/texts show her in the best possible light including those her cleverly worded manipulative "mea culpas". Push a button or stick a pin into them then sit back and watch your victim. Makes me want to vomit like hearing Diane Downs' "I'm just a little girl" excuses.

Somebody pass me a bucket, please; I'm about to dive into some more reading here.

 

[FelicityLemon]

oh my god - how wonderful to have that magic mirror...

And along I come, looking like an angel, speaking sweetly, acting nicely, pleasing you in ways you had only fantasized and of course it’s easy to get caught up in that.

 

[geevee]

Last thought about the GChat before I happily return to my pina coladas:

IMO, the single largest whopper of a clue that Travis had in no way "given up" or had forgiven the or had succumbed to his "addiction" to the cycle kicked off by her psychological abuse/gaslighting:

Given everything we know about the context of the chat, including the fact it occurred only 3 days after he had tried to tell her he was done with her (and then didn't communicate with her until the 25th) does it make a lick of emotional or common sense to anyone, no matter which way the transcript is read, that he was being straightforward/truthful when he told the that the email he sent her was "my way of getting you closer"?

What BS. IMO, he had thought before May 25 that he was "in control," then had discovered he was not (her "dire communication).

He responded first with great rage, but notice how the overt rage fades after he finally receives her email response. He berates her about lying after that, repeatedly, but he also begins to sound plaintive- (why did you do this to me? I was a good guy. Why do you hate me?).
I don't think the email contained what he expected, or at least hoped for.

It's after she won't even admit to what he knows she did- tire slashing etc, and when she won't stop with her many games that he tells her "you win."

I have little doubt that he was being totally honest when he told her he was exhausted beyond all measure with the cycle of transgressions and forgiving, and with her lies, and that he meant it when he said- "just do what you intend to do, I don't care anymore," and, " whatever you found couldn't be all that terrible because it hasn't stopped you from doing whatever you plan to do."

One explanation for the"getting closer to you" is that when he said it, he was backing off his rage lest he push her into following through on whatever her "plan" might be, but felt less concerned the longer he thought about it.

After all, he might have concluded, the odds weren't very good that a pathological liar who rountinely used sex to get what she wanted, and who in fact had never been the spiritual seeker & believer she'd claimed to be, would actually feel any need, much less an urgent one, to go come clean with her bishop.

Yes, I can see how he began to feel less threatened by her intention of seeing her bishop, had she have done so, she'd have to blow herself up in order to destroy him and I think in his heart he knew she wouldn't. That she just wanted to torture him and hold the "stolen phone" recording over his head.

That she could sit there on chat, reading his pleadings and know she already had his killing in mind, that in just hours after this chat she would steal her grandfather's gun and put her murder plan into tangible action, I have a hard time fathoming such a corrupt mind.

Thanks so much for all you did with ordering the chat, as I was reading through the first set and trying to see if I could figure out which went where it was just dizzying, you did a truly amazing job, Hope.

 

[Niner]

Wow! What a great (and frustrating) read and you deserve a medal for all your work here Hope4More! She really and truly is a .

Definitely agree! All I can give you is

 

[salberg7]

I may be mistaken, but I think Lisa Wilson has all or most of the GChat on her blog, or in one of her books.
Jodi and Travis, May 26, 2008 – Transcription of gmail chat

ETA: Sorry, I posted this before I saw what a complete job you had done. As always.

Yes it’s all been written out before by several sources. The chat is interesting in that Travis is for certain done with ’ charades & drama. Travis was probably so happy she had moved back to Yreka.

If only, if only, if only!

It’s fascinating to read the prelude to murder but it’s also pretty sad because we know the outcome. It’s like the is steadily making a web around Travis & to think she was thinking murder during that chat is chilling. He almost elluded her...then she shows up at his “door, garage, yard, doggie door”. Take your pick as she always lies.

No OB deadline set yet? thinks she is so special even now. Her team is going to really anger the COA some more....not a good strategy for IMO.