Yes, and key is THEY are attracted to you. They look for tenderhearted, empathetic people that will try to make them happy and fix their inadequacies. Love is based on what you DO for them. They say things like, "I love you more than I have ever loved anyone, because nobody has ever done as much for me as you have." Look how CW said SW was the first person he felt he could ever be himself with. Notice in one of SW's texts how she said that she stood up to his family taking up for him. They find mates that will be their champions. When the find someone else who they think will better serve their needs, they will cast that person away like yesterday's garbage. Their parting words might be something like, "I don't NEED your ash."
They are in love with the "ideal" love. They fall quickly in love with someone they think is perfect and then as they see the person is not perfect, they start to despise that person. CW and NK were a perfect example of that. Look how crazy he fell for her so fast. They will try to rush you into marriage quickly so they do not have to continue to be this fake person that pretends to be kind and romantic.
Narcissism is a personality disorder...not a mental illness. Personality disorders cannot be cured, and narcissists especially are resistant to change because they think they are perfect. No amount of love will fix them. Their victims usually will try harder and harder to please them, which just makes the narcissist lose respect for the victim and hold them in contempt. Look at how CW treated SW in the final stages.
It is risky breaking off with a narcissist. They can become very dangerous. They make you feel responsible for them and what might happen to them or others if you leave. You may feel like you are in the eye of a hurricane trying to steer in away from self destruction and the destruction of others. You know that you are in a dangerous place, but that place seems safer than trying to go through the storms to get out of the hurricane. If you leave, get the help of others before you leave. Treat it was leaving an abusive relationship because it will be traumatic. Staying will just be increasingly traumatic and dangerous.
A book that I found very helpful was "Malignant Self Love, Narcissm Revisited" by Sam Vaknin.[/QUOTE
All so very true. The narcissist needs and feeds off of the supplier and when he or she is no longer being fed, they despise and reject them and search for a new source.
I knew a married couple and he was a narcissist. After 16 years of marriage and three kids, she had enough and divorced him. He ended up in a mental facility quite a few times because he simply could not deal with her rejecting him. When I’d see him, he looked and acted like a zombie on medication. It was very shocking and painful to see, but it just showed how completely devastated he felt that she left him. To this day, he’s never been the same. I know it’s considered a disorder, but to me it seems more like an mental illness.
