ACTIVE SEARCH SD - Serenity Dennard, 9, Children’s Home Society, Pennington County, 3 Feb 2019 #2

[mrbeansmom]

BBM

I agree. Darcie and Chad sounded unstable and unprepared, IMO. I also thought it was interesting that they could adopt 2 kids, the same age, back to back with one specifically having attachment issues. It doesn't seem like that would be in her best interest but I don't know anything about adoption or guidelines. @mrbeansmom Are you able to shed any light on that? I have appreciated your insight.

Darcie made a comment in the interview about not digging through Serenity's case file with a fine tooth comb and I think she was trying to come across as accepting of Serenity....the good, the bad, the ugly if you will - but it came across to me as irresponsible.

When you choose to take someone in whether you foster or adopt I would think it is important that you know exactly what they went through and any issues they may have to ensure that you can provide what they need. You are now their advocate. It is now your responsibility to give that child everything they need to hopefully grow and thrive. /cue the song, " Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough"

The truth is Darcie didn't choose Serenity everyday. She didn't love her unconditionally. She abandoned her. Darcie disappeared out of Serenity's life. MOO

It is possible to go through multiple adoptions back to back, but each comes with it's own set of circumstances, and too often not enough care is given to what's taking place. Sometimes you'll get a call for a foster/adopt placement while you have one you've had for awhile, and the timing just works out such that they schedule the actual adoption date at the same time. Sadly, the system can be so overwhelmed with kids needing homes that they don't properly investigate or prepare the adoptive family.

As an example, we had two birth children and 4 adopted children. Three of the adopted children had been with us practically since birth. The 4th came to us at 15 months. We decided we were willing and able to adopt one more child, so we requested one with special needs. We got a call for a 2 year old little boy with Down syndrome. He seemed like a perfect fit for our family and we agreed to the placement. Surprise! Has had a 1 year old sister, and if we wanted him, we had to take her as well. She was not special needs, which was a relief, but it was also not true. As they were transitioning into our home, and we had fallen in love with them, surprise again! Mom had resurfaced and had another! Now we had to take the newborn too, or lose all of them. Looking back, this was a set up for disaster and the county should have been smarter than this. We took all 3, even though we had 4 at home already with special needs, because they promised us tons of support in the home. Long story short, after the first year they sent the 2 year old back to his father, who had just been released from prison. After 19 months, they gave the newborn to his mother, who in turn gave him away after 3 months. She told me he cried for me in the night. They didn't feel the mom was able to handle the girl because by then it was obvious that she had severe RAD (We were her 8th placement-that we know of- between 5 months and 12 months). Needless to say, I don't have a lot of respect for the system and what they do to kids and families.

Also, I don't know how they do things there, but here when you adopt, a social worker sits down with the adopting couple and reads their entire "telling" from start to finish, detailing everything they know about the child and their family. You don't get to skip over things. Unfortunately, not all couples are aware of RAD and don't connect the dots when they hear how many homes a child has been in, and how old they were when removed. RAD is a significant and serious disorder. Many of these children end up back in the system and families can be ruined, and charges can be brought against the adoptive parents for abandonment. In my mind, this topic HAS to be brought up with every single adoption, and adoptive parents need support and options that simply don't exist right now. I'm not letting this couple off the hook, however. There was clearly unattachment taking place on their part as well.

 

[mrbeansmom]

I also find it odd that they divorced a year after they adopted the two children. Are you telling me that you honestly had a stable, loving home to bring children into one year and divorced the next? I'm not buying it...unless the divorce was due to infidelity or something horrendous happening. Don't misunderstand my comments, I know people divorce quickly all the time after just being married and after being married for decades, but I doubt they were able to show the adoption agency/children and family agency that they were a suitable home so close to their divorce.

I also wonder if the home thought that Serenity's dad's new wife was her mother, not Darcy and that's why she wasn't contacted.

JMO MOO IMO

People lie all the time to adopt children. I've seen it. Or they think kids are the answer that will save their marriage. In cases of RAD, it will destroy an already unhealthy marriage.

 

[mrbeansmom]

Funny thing is, the white pages knew where CD (adopto dad) lived, each and every address. IMO.... she abandoned these little ones. JMO

I agree.

 

[Jackielee09]

I think AM had a sort of tunnel vision when seeing an adorable 3 yr old on the up for adoption page. Didn’t really want to know much of her history. She wanted that child no matter what. Then all hell broke loose (RAD behavior). And she couldn’t handle it. I guarantee neither could I but I have that knowledge about myself and wouldn’t even entertain that notion no matter how adorable the kid LOOKED. I have the upmost respect for adoptive parents who do their best for a child with severe behavior problems. And it’s ok if the child needs to go into group setting but to not inquire or visit the child is unforgivable. I think there should be a serenity alert BUT not spearheaded by the family. But by the community that have come together for a discarded and forgotten child.

 

[flashy09]

I am writing this as I watch the interview. I have nobody in real life to address this with so I have to write here!

* It seems Serenity did attach to the adoptive mother and loved the bedtime ritual. I don't have any experience with RAD, but in my mind it was a child that was "unreachable" and didn't show much affection or emotion. Clearly Serenity did enjoy being loved and that just makes me so sad.

* "Alligator tears" during custody exchanges after the divorce. What?! A 9 yr old with RAD that just had her 3rd huge family change (leaving original parents, leaving the foster home, adoptive parents divorcing) showing emotion and a bond only to have her Mom make condescending remarks. Especially in this situation - if she can be that callous now with Serenity dead or kidnapped, what was she like before? Play you with her tears? Again she is 9 and a neglect/abuse case with RAD that never had an ounce of stability in her life. It just seems mean for lack of a better word to talk about her like she is some crazy ex girlfriend.

* Feeling sad while they discuss how much she loved Frozen thinking of her in those woods.

* She didn't know she was at the home. WTF. I know this has been discussed a lot, but she obviously just washed her hands of Serenity long before this. Or did the adoptive dad lie? Why wasn't she seeing Serenity anymore?

* How long had Serenity been in the home? Did it just happen and that's why the mom didn't know? I hope so.

* Interesting that the distraction was planned. I hope they have gotten as much information out of the friend possible. Although I guess if the friend said she was being picked up that information would be out there. So she either did not have a plan for her escape or the friend promised not to tell.

* The mom showed no emotion until she knew she really had to. Talk about alligator tears!

* Although this mother does not have my sympathy, the interviewer is pretty hardcore - I can't imagine some of these questions being asked in most cases to the parents - but maybe it's the demeanor of the mom that makes those tough questions seem ok. She really pressed her about what she thinks the worst case scenario is etc.

* Now the boyfriend (?) is speaking and he seems pretty removed and nonchalant as well. I can't even imagine getting two words out if my child was missing in the woods or kidnapped. I realize people respond differently to tragedy. Hope they were actually very caring to her in real life.

I just can't help feeling the adoptive parents have moved on with new relationships and not having the difficult child is a relief. I am not saying they had anything to do with her disappearance, but the mom just seems checked out and like she already had moved on from Serenity before this happened.

 

[Jackielee09]

I am writing this as I watch the interview. I have nobody in real life to address this with so I have to write here!

* It seems Serenity did attach to the adoptive mother and loved the bedtime ritual. I don't have any experience with RAD, but in my mind it was a child that was "unreachable" and didn't show much affection or emotion. Clearly Serenity did enjoy being loved and that just makes me so sad.

* "Alligator tears" during custody exchanges after the divorce. What?! A 9 yr old with RAD that just had her 3rd huge family change (leaving original parents, leaving the foster home, adoptive parents divorcing) showing emotion and a bond only to have her Mom make condescending remarks. Especially in this situation - if she can be that callous now with Serenity dead or kidnapped, what was she like before? Play you with her tears? Again she is 9 and a neglect/abuse case with RAD that never had an ounce of stability in her life. It just seems mean for lack of a better word to talk about her like she is some crazy ex girlfriend.

* Feeling sad while they discuss how much she loved Frozen thinking of her in those woods.

* She didn't know she was at the home. WTF. I know this has been discussed a lot, but she obviously just washed her hands of Serenity long before this. Or did the adoptive dad lie? Why wasn't she seeing Serenity anymore?

* How long had Serenity been in the home? Did it just happen and that's why the mom didn't know? I hope so.

* Interesting that the distraction was planned. I hope they have gotten as much information out of the friend possible. Although I guess if the friend said she was being picked up that information would be out there. So she either did not have a plan for her escape or the friend promised not to tell.

* The mom showed no emotion until she knew she really had to. Talk about alligator tears!

* Although this mother does not have my sympathy, the interviewer is pretty hardcore - I can't imagine some of these questions being asked in most cases to the parents - but maybe it's the demeanor of the mom that makes those tough questions seem ok. She really pressed her about what she thinks the worst case scenario is etc.

* Now the boyfriend (?) is speaking and he seems pretty removed and nonchalant as well. I can't even imagine getting two words out if my child was missing in the woods or kidnapped. I realize people respond differently to tragedy. Hope they were actually very caring to her in real life.

I just can't help feeling the adoptive parents have moved on with new relationships and not having the difficult child is a relief. I am not saying they had anything to do with her disappearance, but the mom just seems checked out and like she already had moved on from Serenity before this happened.

Ditto I’ve pretty much said same. Plus she finished her shift when she found out she was missing. Say WHAT?!! Yeah I could go on.

 

[human]

I think some reading on RAD would be helpful. They are very very manipulative. They can fake cry at the drop of a hat.

They have no bonding. That it why it is called reactive attachment disorder.

Usually, the birth parents do not react to the child’s cries. Eventually the child stops cryimg. The child is not held.Kept in a crib or some other device such as an infant seat.

I think many parents with RAD adopted children eventually get PTSD.

I cannot emphasize how draining this is 24/7. You cannot even sleep because you cannot know what a clever child with RAD may come up with.

Like with a horrible divorce, you are done. You see nothing that is helpful The child is manipulative and does not care if you see him/ her or not. There is no attachment.

Like with FAS where portions of the brain are missing, the child never developed the capacity to attach

 

[SkipperKey3]

I am writing this as I watch the interview. I have nobody in real life to address this with so I have to write here!

* It seems Serenity did attach to the adoptive mother and loved the bedtime ritual. I don't have any experience with RAD, but in my mind it was a child that was "unreachable" and didn't show much affection or emotion. Clearly Serenity did enjoy being loved and that just makes me so sad.

* "Alligator tears" during custody exchanges after the divorce. What?! A 9 yr old with RAD that just had her 3rd huge family change (leaving original parents, leaving the foster home, adoptive parents divorcing) showing emotion and a bond only to have her Mom make condescending remarks. Especially in this situation - if she can be that callous now with Serenity dead or kidnapped, what was she like before? Play you with her tears? Again she is 9 and a neglect/abuse case with RAD that never had an ounce of stability in her life. It just seems mean for lack of a better word to talk about her like she is some crazy ex girlfriend.

* Feeling sad while they discuss how much she loved Frozen thinking of her in those woods.

* She didn't know she was at the home. WTF. I know this has been discussed a lot, but she obviously just washed her hands of Serenity long before this. Or did the adoptive dad lie? Why wasn't she seeing Serenity anymore?

* How long had Serenity been in the home? Did it just happen and that's why the mom didn't know? I hope so.

* Interesting that the distraction was planned. I hope they have gotten as much information out of the friend possible. Although I guess if the friend said she was being picked up that information would be out there. So she either did not have a plan for her escape or the friend promised not to tell.

* The mom showed no emotion until she knew she really had to. Talk about alligator tears!

* Although this mother does not have my sympathy, the interviewer is pretty hardcore - I can't imagine some of these questions being asked in most cases to the parents - but maybe it's the demeanor of the mom that makes those tough questions seem ok. She really pressed her about what she thinks the worst case scenario is etc.

* Now the boyfriend (?) is speaking and he seems pretty removed and nonchalant as well. I can't even imagine getting two words out if my child was missing in the woods or kidnapped. I realize people respond differently to tragedy. Hope they were actually very caring to her in real life.

I just can't help feeling the adoptive parents have moved on with new relationships and not having the difficult child is a relief. I am not saying they had anything to do with her disappearance, but the mom just seems checked out and like she already had moved on from Serenity before this happened.

Commenting on the two bolded sections.

I also got the feeling that Serenity was bonding, and did feel attachment, which is what made the RAD diagnosis curious to me. Maybe she had a mild case? I'm not familiar with RAD (or Serenity), so I have deferred that topic. It is just that from all we've been told, Serenity wasn't completely detached or out of reach.

Regarding the distraction being planned, both the cousin and the adoptive mother have suggested this, but I still find it rather unlikely. The type of kids in those types of homes just run on impulse, or when they see an opportunity. It wasn't even the first time Serenity had run. I think the first child ran out of impulse, and Serenity simply followed their lead out of impulse. I agree, the other child that ran was almost surely questioned in order to determine if there was any connection. We certainly haven't been told that there was - not that we necessarily would have been. I just think both interviewees suggested that as a way to find some hope to hold on to. MOO.

 

[Jackielee09]

I think some reading on RAD would be helpful. They are very very manipulative. They can fake cry at the drop of a hat.

They have no bonding. That it why it is called reactive attachment disorder.

Usually, the birth parents do not react to the child’s cries. Eventually the child stops cryimg. The child is not held.Kept in a crib or some other device such as an infant seat.

I think many parents with RAD adopted children eventually get PTSD.

I cannot emphasize how draining this is 24/7. You cannot even sleep because you cannot know what a clever child with RAD may come up with.

Like with a horrible divorce, you are done. You see nothing that is helpful The child is manipulative and does not care if you see him/ her or not. There is no attachment.

Like with FAS where portions of the brain are missing, the child never developed the capacity to attach

I think the interviewer also helped address RAD. I think she did a really good job. I think we can all agree it’s a horrid disorder for the child to go through. I do feel bad for anyone that is trying to help these children. Very very sad.

 

[SkipperKey3]

I think some reading on RAD would be helpful. They are very very manipulative. They can fake cry at the drop of a hat.

They have no bonding. That it why it is called reactive attachment disorder.

Usually, the birth parents do not react to the child’s cries. Eventually the child stops cryimg. The child is not held.Kept in a crib or some other device such as an infant seat.

I think many parents with RAD adopted children eventually get PTSD.

I cannot emphasize how draining this is 24/7. You cannot even sleep because you cannot know what a clever child with RAD may come up with.

Like with a horrible divorce, you are done. You see nothing that is helpful The child is manipulative and does not care if you see him/ her or not. There is no attachment.

Like with FAS where portions of the brain are missing, the child never developed the capacity to attach

I understand all that. I just wonder about Serenity. From what we have been told, she had formed attachments. I don't know that for a fact, but it is curious.
Nonetheless, I understand those with RAD children have a tough road. My question is - does this disorder come with degrees, or is it all-or-nothing? In other words, could Serenity have bonded and become attached to her adoptive parents to some degree, but still retain behavioral problems of RAD?

 

[PayrollNerd]

I get the impression the adoptive Mom is asserting her rights as a legal parent for a future lawsuit payout. That would explain the nervousness and/or surprise of the group home when she showed up. I can imagine their surprise “Oh, YOU are the Mom??”

It’s not hard to figure out where Dad went, why he left and when he returned. They were all on social media. The adoptive father must have recognized that this little girl needed more help than he could give her. God Bless him for trying to get her the treatment she needed. Sigh.

Serenity please help us bring you home!

 

[flashy09]

I think some reading on RAD would be helpful. They are very very manipulative. They can fake cry at the drop of a hat.

They have no bonding. That it why it is called reactive attachment disorder.

Usually, the birth parents do not react to the child’s cries. Eventually the child stops cryimg. The child is not held.Kept in a crib or some other device such as an infant seat.

I think many parents with RAD adopted children eventually get PTSD.

I cannot emphasize how draining this is 24/7. You cannot even sleep because you cannot know what a clever child with RAD may come up with.

Like with a horrible divorce, you are done. You see nothing that is helpful The child is manipulative and does not care if you see him/ her or not. There is no attachment.

Like with FAS where portions of the brain are missing, the child never developed the capacity to attach

I am sure it's super tough. Maybe it's her sweet pictures that make it hard to imagine her behavioral issues. She seems "there" in pictures. But also that she was able to snuggle and enjoy love. The "alligator tears" did not come trying to get out of trouble, but because she was leaving her mom. For whatever reason, bond or not, she seemed to really not want to go.

I guess also I would think the Mom would just have a sadder demeanor about the whole situation during her one interview. It's hard for me to imagine cutting off my emotions for a child that has come to some sort of horrible end. The PTSD angle is interesting.

I watched a youtube documentary on an adopted daughter with RAD and the parents did so much for her. I feel like this mother adopted the cutest kids on the website so she had an instant family and when Serenity had her issues and her marriage crumbled she just gave up. Maybe I would have too. It's hard to predict unless you live it I am sure and I am learning just how difficult this disorder is. It's so sad and honestly most of my anger is now towards her biological parents now after cooling off from the interview!

 

[Stunned]

Serenity Dennard's Adoptive Mother Speaks for the First Time

Ummm, I really don’t know where too start! How can a child be placed in a treatment facility without her Mothers consent? I’ll start there!

 

[Debpar]

From Lynne DiSanto SD Senate District 35

Interesting turn of events today. Evidently some friends and family of Serenity's Adopted Dad, Chad, have decided to go after my coverage of this story. I'm getting messages that "I need to stop talking" about this.
So let me state on the record, I have no knowledge of Chad being involved in the disappearance. I have never stated anything of the sort, nor has anyone I have interviewed.
Chad and I have spoken a couple times (the first time he called me). I'd asked if hed like to do an interview or make any public statement regarding Serenity's disappearance, or his knowledge of the event, and he declined.
I will not force, or pressure him.
I am focused on ONE THING, FINDING SERENITY.

 

[Stunned]

Here are some highlights from the YouTube video posted by Lynn Disanto. If you have time, I would implore you to watch the video in its entirety.

-Adoptive Mom, Darcie, saw photo of Serenity on DSS website when she was 3-4 years old. They first met Serenity at the foster family's house. Her and husband Chad were married at the time.
-Serenity came to live with Darcie and Chad March 30 2014
-Adoption final October 23 2014 - it was closed adoption but had contact info from some of the birth family. Serenity had no relationship with bio fam.
-Chad and Darcie Divorced 2015
-Serenity had an adoptive brother, same age, adopted close to the same time. He too went with Chad as they were "buddies and had a great relationship. The divorce didn't seem to affect him as much as it did Serenity"

-3:55 Serenity did have Reactive Attachment disorder and was in counseling before adoption, during fostering, and needed continued services.

-8:50 After divorce of D and C, Chad took primary care of her "He had a bigger house and he knew how to discipline her better and she needed that. She had quite a few behaviors where she needed a stronger disciplinarian."

-9:19 As for custody of Serenity -Chad and Darcie weren't following any schedule, "Whatever worked. We passed her back and forth for quite some time. This was difficult for Serenity, she seemed to do ok for the most part, when I passed her back to Chad she would do the big crocodile tears and be upset . And she could do that though. She could really play her tears on you "

-Darcie had joint legal custody. Chad had physical custody.

-Chad moved away, and Darcie and him hadn't been keeping in touch. Darcie didn't know when he moved away or when he got back. He moved away for a period of time.

-11:29 Darcie found out Serenity was missing via text from a friend the night she went missing. Darcie was at work. (Nurse at Fountain Springs which looks to be a nursing home/assisted living facility)

-11:43 Darcie did Not know Serenity was placed in the Children's Home.

-12:10 Darcie speculated Serenity's behavior may have gotten worse and that was why she was placed in the Home.

-The Home didn't have Darcie's information. Darcie told the Home she didn't know Serenity was there.

-18:40 The Home told Darcie that Serenity was with other kids in the gym. Serenity displayed no unusual behaviors that they know of that day. Another girl in the gym distracted the workers and ran one direction, and Serenity ran the other direction outside of the gym.
19:25 Going into the gym was a main door, they are not sure if there was another door. They think the run was purposeful. Another child distracted the workers inside the gym and Serenity ran outside the gym door. No, they did not chase her. They searched the interior. She had done this before and hid under vanity sink in bathroom and under a bed in dorm room. The Home thought she disappeared internally. They knew she ran out of the gym but other worker couldn't leave gym bc of other kids.

20:50 Timeline when she was outside until 911 was called approximately 1 hr 45 minutes.

21:30 Darcie felt like Serenity was running away to look for her. Darcie had that feeling and one of first meetings during the investigation it was shared with Darcie that Serenity had asked about her and had talked about Darcie. Not that day but at some point. Darcie believes Serenity was looking to find her and she likes to believe that.

24:00 Where is Serenity? Darcie's thoughts and beliefs shared

26:00 Darcie responds to keyboard warriors

26:25 Serenity Alert Darcie /smiling " It may be too late, as people say, for Serenity but if it can save any other parent from going through the heart ache of not knowing where their child is and help out - it is 200% worth it." I keep replaying this....watching Darcie and listening to her make this comment. I don't know how I feel about it as she had no idea where her child was for months leading up to Serenity's disappearance. MONTHS. It could have been years since she knew where she was or even spoke to her.

I’m a little numb watching this. Poor little girl.

 

[Stunned]

That interview makes me even more sad for Serenity. How does one parent move and not tell the other? How does the other parent not track them down? Imagine having abandonment issues and then the woman you finally bond with disappears and the man you bond with leaves you at an institution. Imagine not even being able to write a letter to your mom at that age.

Exactly! My heart just broke all over again for this little lost girl!

 

[SkipperKey3]

From Lynne DiSanto SD Senate District 35

Interesting turn of events today. Evidently some friends and family of Serenity's Adopted Dad, Chad, have decided to go after my coverage of this story. I'm getting messages that "I need to stop talking" about this.
So let me state on the record, I have no knowledge of Chad being involved in the disappearance. I have never stated anything of the sort, nor has anyone I have interviewed.
Chad and I have spoken a couple times (the first time he called me). I'd asked if hed like to do an interview or make any public statement regarding Serenity's disappearance, or his knowledge of the event, and he declined.
I will not force, or pressure him.
I am focused on ONE THING, FINDING SERENITY.

Now I am curious. If she (DiSanto) has never accused anybody of anything, but is only interviewing people in the hope of finding Serenity, why could he (Chad) or his family have any objections to that? The whole point was to get the message out there, to keep Serenity and the search for her at the forefront. Why would he have an issue with this? I would think he would be front and center of all efforts to find Serenity! Why would he or his family tell anybody to "stop talking" about finding Serenity???

Poor little Ren.

 

[mrbeansmom]

I think some reading on RAD would be helpful. They are very very manipulative. They can fake cry at the drop of a hat.

They have no bonding. That it why it is called reactive attachment disorder.

Usually, the birth parents do not react to the child’s cries. Eventually the child stops cryimg. The child is not held.Kept in a crib or some other device such as an infant seat.

I think many parents with RAD adopted children eventually get PTSD.

I cannot emphasize how draining this is 24/7. You cannot even sleep because you cannot know what a clever child with RAD may come up with.

Like with a horrible divorce, you are done. You see nothing that is helpful The child is manipulative and does not care if you see him/ her or not. There is no attachment.

Like with FAS where portions of the brain are missing, the child never developed the capacity to attach

Absolutely spot on. Our daughter can turn tears on and off to her advantage in a manner that would break your heart. Never mind that she doesn't mean one bit of it. Now that's not to say that Serenity might have been feeling genuine sadness at the break up of her parents, but that would surprise me. We had to sleep with our bedroom door locked and a bar across the door to prevent our daughter from coming in during the night to attack her little sister, who had to sleep on our floor for her own protection. Both my youngest daughter, another daughter and myself have all been diagnosed with PTSD due to her behavior. She's been gone 8 months now. She doesn't even miss us...

 

[Jim_M]

Now I am curious. If she (DiSanto) has never accused anybody of anything, but is only interviewing people in the hope of finding Serenity, why could he (Chad) or his family have any objections to that? The whole point was to get the message out there, to keep Serenity and the search for her at the forefront. Why would he have an issue with this? I would think he would be front and center of all efforts to find Serenity! Why would he or his family tell anybody to "stop talking" about finding Serenity???

Poor little Ren.

The overall feeling I get, from the reactions of Chad's friends, and family, is that they want people to stop talking about the details of little Serenity.

That Darcie had no knowledge of Serenity being placed in the Home.
That Darcie didn't even know that Chad had moved.

I believe if all of the "talking" was only about finding this lost little girl, that everyone would be fine.

Poor Serenity had no chance with normalcy IMO. She needed adoptive parents who could handle all of her medical needs. And maybe there were none that could have. Sadly, we will most likely never know.

 

[Jim_M]

Absolutely spot on. Our daughter can turn tears on and off to her advantage in a manner that would break your heart. Never mind that she doesn't mean one bit of it. Now that's not to say that Serenity might have been feeling genuine sadness at the break up of her parents, but that would surprise me. We had to sleep with our bedroom door locked and a bar across the door to prevent our daughter from coming in during the night to attack her little sister, who had to sleep on our floor for her own protection. Both my youngest daughter, another daughter and myself have all been diagnosed with PTSD due to her behavior. She's been gone 8 months now. She doesn't even miss us...

That is quite sad IMO. I really wonder if similar activities prompted this placement for Serenity? Through no fault of the parents, and only due to her RAD diagnosis.