MO MO - Betty Alexander, 69, Sullivan, 11 April 2019

[Tripod]

Another Betty bump!

 

[Midmissourimom]

Good morning! I contacted an admin last night after being advised to read the terms. There has been a lot of changes in this case in the past 24 hours and I am still confused about what I can post here. There is still no discussion about ...what could have or did happen to Betty. I understand the family is to be treated as the victim. Isn't the point of websleuthing to discuss real facts and ideas?
Or is this forum just to support the families with prayers, well wishes and general posts about searches/rewards?

 

[Cagle]

Wow at that social media post. Makes you wonder....

 

[PommyMommy]

MAY 17 - Bring Betty Home
There is conflict between Betty's children. Betty's daughter said that her siblings broke into Betty's home, cleared out all her personal belongings, and changed the locks. The PI was in the home last Saturday but was supposed to be back to take pictures this week. Betty's daughter said that now if there were any clues left in the house, they are gone.

 

[Dre]

MAY 17 - Bring Betty Home
There is conflict between Betty's children. Betty's daughter said that her siblings broke into Betty's home, cleared out all her personal belongings, and changed the locks. The PI was in the home last Saturday but was supposed to be back to take pictures this week. Betty's daughter said that now if there were any clues left in the house, they are gone.

How absurd and upsetting!!!!!
They must know something to go ahead and do something so final- did they know the PI was coming back to take photos? Red flags!!!

 

[PayrollNerd]

Good morning! I contacted an admin last night after being advised to read the terms. There has been a lot of changes in this case in the past 24 hours and I am still confused about what I can post here. There is still no discussion about ...what could have or did happen to Betty. I understand the family is to be treated as the victim. Isn't the point of websleuthing to discuss real facts and ideas?
Or is this forum just to support the families with prayers, well wishes and general posts about searches/rewards?

On Websleuths you provide factual information, not hearsay. The goal is to help come up with ideas, questions, etc. that help solve the case. Posting a theory is permitted but you can’t use hearsay to bolster your opinion. Posting the things you find online about the victims family or friends is not permitted. For example, if Betty has/had a Facebook page, Twitter account, Instagram account, etc., you can post a link to it. Just don't post screenshots of anything on it. If a person is named in main stream media as a person of interest, then you can post things about them.

If you take a look at the posts in this thread, you’ll see that most have links to where they found the information on main stream media (MSM) or they are referencing them.

Every now and then, I still make a mistake. Most recently, I forgot to add the link I had been reading and theorizing from so my post was deleted.

Welcome to Webslueths and happy sleuthing!

 

[PayrollNerd]

MAY 17 - Bring Betty Home
There is conflict between Betty's children. Betty's daughter said that her siblings broke into Betty's home, cleared out all her personal belongings, and changed the locks. The PI was in the home last Saturday but was supposed to be back to take pictures this week. Betty's daughter said that now if there were any clues left in the house, they are gone.

Wow. Just Wow. This is going to fracture their family so deeply. I wonder what LE will do as far as the investigation goes. How do you find a missing Mom when family is focused on material things. Successful business men don't need more material things. In my opinion, this was about control.

 

[PayrollNerd]

I’m a bit late to the thread. I am surprised she has not been found. Looking at the topography of her neighborhood in the attached photo, I see a number of businesses. LE would have a lot of cameras to review. Most interesting is the reported memory of her staring at the firehouse. The camera there should solidify that part of the timeline. I wonder if her husband was friendly with the firehouse staff and that brought back a memory, or perhaps triggered confusion, so she walked over there.

I also see a large green space of undeveloped land nearby. It is possible she wandered off and could not find her way back. Perhaps she did end up in the wooded area and injured herself. Undeveloped land is known for having wetlands, swampy areas, forgotten and overgrown bodies of water, etc.

The dementia symptoms had to be obvious and frequent enough for the doctor to prescribe meds. It was more than just mixing up a name in my opinion. Usually, once a person is diagnosed, the family has 2 weeks or so to make arrangements for the safety of the patient, their care, their finances, etc. It sounds like those steps had been taken for Betty already. The disease combined with a heavy veil of sadness for the loss of her husband must be unbearable. This poor woman’s world has been totally upended in a matter of months. In a lucid moment, perhaps suicide crossed her mind. In a not so lucid moment, perhaps she simply wandered away and got lost.

Dementia and Alzheimer’s patients tend to decline in reverse so to speak. Meaning they remember more from their past than they do from current events. In the nursing home I worked in, the ladies would fix pretend meals in the kitchen that was set up for them, rock their baby (doll), talk about going to places you know they must have been to when they were much younger. It was sweet to see but sad at the same time.

 

[Midmissourimom]

I’m a bit late to the thread. I am surprised she has not been found. Looking at the topography of her neighborhood in the attached photo, I see a number of businesses. LE would have a lot of cameras to review. Most interesting is the reported memory of her staring at the firehouse. The camera there should solidify that part of the timeline. I wonder if her husband was friendly with the firehouse staff and that brought back a memory, or perhaps triggered confusion, so she walked over there.

I also see a large green space of undeveloped land nearby. It is possible she wandered off and could not find her way back. Perhaps she did end up in the wooded area and injured herself. Undeveloped land is known for having wetlands, swampy areas, forgotten and overgrown bodies of water, etc.

The dementia symptoms had to be obvious and frequent enough for the doctor to prescribe meds. It was more than just mixing up a name in my opinion. Usually, once a person is diagnosed, the family has 2 weeks or so to make arrangements for the safety of the patient, their care, their finances, etc. It sounds like those steps had been taken for Betty already. The disease combined with a heavy veil of sadness for the loss of her husband must be unbearable. This poor woman’s world has been totally upended in a matter of months. In a lucid moment, perhaps suicide crossed her mind. In a not so lucid moment, perhaps she simply wandered away and got lost.

Dementia and Alzheimer’s patients tend to decline in reverse so to speak. Meaning they remember more from their past than they do from current events. In the nursing home I worked in, the ladies would fix pretend meals in the kitchen that was set up for them, rock their baby (doll), talk about going to places you know they must have been to when they were much younger. It was sweet to see but sad at the same time.

Thank you Admin for answering my questions.

I agree that once an individual is diagnosed there is a plan in place to ensure the safety of the patient. With that being said, if Betty's daughter was unable to reach her from Thursday through Sunday, that is a 4 day period of no contact.

It is stated multiple times that Betty spent weekends with the daughter but this one weekend she did not. Who was given the responsibility to check on her daily?

This is not a large town. I would think that if the family is living close by it would be noticed by someone that she was missing sooner than 4 days. When there was no answer on the phone was that not a reason for a law enforcement well being check? Were there no other family members notified that she was not answering the phone and to stop by and check on her?

These are just my observations. I was active on the FB thread last night and most of it was removed within minutes.

Betty's daughter stated the apartment was cleaned out of some items and the locks were changed. Most apartments do not allow tenants to change locks.

In my opinion also, it is not the norm for families to be so separated about the investigation. Betty's daughter gave the press interviews, created the FB page and remains active in the public eye. It seems that a large majority of the family is being portrayed as people that gave up and just cleaned out her house.

It is all unfolding and as a local witness to the news stories and reports, I believe there will be more updates quickly with this case.

 

[PayrollNerd]

Thank you Admin for answering my questions.

I agree that once an individual is diagnosed there is a plan in place to ensure the safety of the patient. With that being said, if Betty's daughter was unable to reach her from Thursday through Sunday, that is a 4 day period of no contact.

It is stated multiple times that Betty spent weekends with the daughter but this one weekend she did not. Who was given the responsibility to check on her daily?

This is not a large town. I would think that if the family is living close by it would be noticed by someone that she was missing sooner than 4 days. When there was no answer on the phone was that not a reason for a law enforcement well being check? Were there no other family members notified that she was not answering the phone and to stop by and check on her?

These are just my observations. I was active on the FB thread last night and most of it was removed within minutes.

Betty's daughter stated the apartment was cleaned out of some items and the locks were changed. Most apartments do not allow tenants to change locks.

In my opinion also, it is not the norm for families to be so separated about the investigation. Betty's daughter gave the press interviews, created the FB page and remains active in the public eye. It seems that a large majority of the family is being portrayed as people that gave up and just cleaned out her house.

It is all unfolding and as a local witness to the news stories and reports, I believe there will be more updates quickly with this case.

I’m not an Admin. Just trying to help but you're welcome!

 

[Midmissourimom]

I’m not an Admin. Just trying to help but you're welcome!

I appreciate it so much, I am typically in forums that have very few rules. I am trying to get a grasp on the art of stating my opinion in a correct way and failing badly. Lol.

I just left the FB page and after filtering through over 500 comments, my previous post is way behind.

Just from past experience though, law enforcement uses the brainstorming going on in forums like this to get tips and look for inconsistent statements, so in my opinion, screenshots that show deleted statements are needed.

I do hope everyday Betty is found safe and that we will not need a forum any longer.

Have a great afternoon!

 

[slowpoke]

Wow. Just Wow. This is going to fracture their family so deeply. I wonder what LE will do as far as the investigation goes. How do you find a missing Mom when family is focused on material things. Successful business men don't need more material things. In my opinion, this was about control.

It is very sad to see the family posting their behind-the-scene family drama to the Bring Betty Home page for supporters to see. Why do that? Not good, IMO.

I am trying to withhold judgment on the brothers’ action, since we’ve only got the story from the admin of the page (their sister). I am inclined to think, however, that it’s likely arising from a lack of being one in the decision-making. She’s even admitted as much, stating that she didn’t have time to get their permission in doing all she is doing to find her mom.

She posted (bolded by me):“They said they thought her things needed to be moved out by the end of the month but we still had 3 full weeks to do it and I don't know why they would choose to do it after dark and without telling me and then changing the locks.”

She was upset that the clean out was done before the PI was going to come in again to try to find a clue. But, I wonder if the brothers knew this, since she didn’t tell them every step?

All three siblings are hurting, and they should be supporting and leaning on each other all the more during this ordeal. I hope they can come together...

 

[Midmissourimom]

The family does certainly seem to be divided. I try to form my opinions gently and feel the focus was thrown in the direction of the sons. In the large group chat on FB there was no response by the daughter that I seen, multiple times for a the answer to the questions about why they collected her things. I just seen it was due to having to be out in 3 weeks. Why would that even be an option if Betty could try to return there?

I seen multiple statements from the daughter saying she blocked them from Betty's page to keep them from posting lies. She also stated they are angry with her due to the fact that she could not fill them in on her every move.

In my opinion again, if someone has time to answer and respond to thousands of posts then it seems that there would be enough time to keep a clear line of communication for all family members open.

Just my observations.

It is good to see more events taking place that could lead to finding Betty.

 

[slowpoke]

Snipped by me, and bolded by me:

The family does certainly seem to be divided. I try to form my opinions gently and feel the focus was thrown in the direction of the sons. In the large group chat on FB there was no response by the daughter that I seen, multiple times for a the answer to the questions about why they collected her things. I just seen it was due to having to be out in 3 weeks. Why would that even be an option if Betty could try to return there?

I think I may have seen the answer at the BBH (Bring Betty Home) page. In response to a person (initials L.L.) somewhere on that loooong thread, the daughter (admin of the page) replied,
“I’m still praying she’s coming back home, but would be moving in with one of us or having a full time home caregiver if she does.”

I’m guessing the sibling brothers thought their mom would not be able to live in her current apt for either scenario—maybe no room for a full time home caregiver if that was decided upon, so the apt should get let go (lease was up).

Their mother would be so saddened to see the acrimony exhibited by her family.

 

[Midmissourimom]

Snipped by me, and bolded by me:


I think I may have seen the answer at the BBH (Bring Betty Home) page. In response to a person (initials L.L.) somewhere on that loooong thread, the daughter (admin of the page) replied,
“I’m still praying she’s coming back home, but would be moving in with one of us or having a full time home caregiver if she does.”

I’m guessing the sibling brothers thought their mom would not be able to live in her current apt for either scenario—maybe no room for a full time home caregiver if that was decided upon, so the apt should get let go (lease was up).

Their mother would be so saddened to see the acrimony exhibited by her family.

It looks like there may be 2 daughters and 2 sons. That is what I have seen so far. So many family members and with social media being what it is should make it easier to keep a page for them all to have admin status on and post on.

Posting and reposting a thorough timeline with facts would definitely benefit them all. Transparency is important in a case like this. When there are posts everyday just stating she's still missing it leaves the people here in town asking questions, guessing, searching, ect.

I have not seen a follow up statement about the meals on wheels. I did see a recent post that stated when she took her last meds. Maybe by looking at a day by day medicine container?

If the police cleared the home then a PI may not have much more to discover.

I do know that Betty went to her daughters home every weekend since December, when her husband passed. This was the only weekend she was unattended and not looked in on from Friday to Sunday. That is unusual to me. Again, just my opinion.

Meals on wheels delivers Monday - Friday.
So on Saturday, when Betty declined going with her daughter, was noone else to bring her food or check on her? The entire day?

That is what should be posted. Narrowing down the timeline for the public to get additional help to the family and law enforcement. I think that would help.

A few months ago I followed a similar case and they found him after multiple searches and rumors just a few blocks away in the woods. It took a year and he had been that close the entire time.

I will continue to watch and pray for her return.

 

[PommyMommy]

The family does certainly seem to be divided. I try to form my opinions gently and feel the focus was thrown in the direction of the sons. In the large group chat on FB there was no response by the daughter that I seen, multiple times for a the answer to the questions about why they collected her things. I just seen it was due to having to be out in 3 weeks. Why would that even be an option if Betty could try to return there?

I seen multiple statements from the daughter saying she blocked them from Betty's page to keep them from posting lies. She also stated they are angry with her due to the fact that she could not fill them in on her every move.

In my opinion again, if someone has time to answer and respond to thousands of posts then it seems that there would be enough time to keep a clear line of communication for all family members open.

Just my observations.

It is good to see more events taking place that could lead to finding Betty.

BBM She says in the comments that she doesn't know why, and over and over she says she thinks the reason is that she didn't have the time to tell them every step she was taking. To say that there was no response is inaccurate. MOO
Bring Betty Home

 

[Midmissourimom]

BBM She says in the comments that she doesn't know why, and over and over she says she thinks the reason is that she didn't have the time to tell them every step she was taking. To say that there was no response is inaccurate. MOO
Bring Betty Home

I agree and apologize. I do see that on the post multiple times, I added that into a second post after I re-read the comments.

 

[PayrollNerd]

I’m guessing the sons have Power of Attorney and a Power of Attorney for Healthcare which means they can legally do what they did. Take control of her personal effects, finances, healthcare plans, etc. Not that it needed to be done immediately but that is their choice if they are the P.O.A.

 

[PommyMommy]

I agree and apologize. I do see that on the post multiple times, I added that into a second post after I re-read the comments.

No worries, there are 521 comments there! Also, I really like your idea that they should post a timeline or even a summary of the facts. I would add that it should be pinned to the top of the page with the most current flyer as currently, the first post is all the family drama. Not good. I know they are doing their best, but they've never run a missing person's page before, so it is a learning experience and I hope someone will suggest that to them. MOO

 

[Tripod]

On a hopefully positive note, may all the increased posting on Betty's FB page, and here, bring her closer to home.