ACTIVE SEARCH SD - Serenity Dennard, 9, Children’s Home Society, Pennington County, 3 Feb 2019 #3

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The intention of my post was not to place blame on the couple. Rather, in tragic cases involving children, like this one, I like to take the opportunity to make a few points based on my personal and professional experience that I think are educational and may cause people to think and act differently, IOW, with the most immediate and effective action. My hope is that the next time people see a child or other vulnerable person in a situation that "doesn't seem right" that their actions are the most proactive possible, because, exactly as you stated, "but by then she had disappeared."

I think almost anyone who has worked professionally with children has learned what incredibly dangerous, impulsive, illogical and completely unexpected things they can do. This includes all children, not just those with psychological or behavioral problems. For example, I've seen playfully intended "horsing around" turn dangerous in the blink of an eye. As many parents know, a child can slip out of sight in a split second of distraction. A determined child, even some toddlers, can run much faster than you ever imagined. In other words, when safety is involved, there isn't a second to lose; there is no room for a moment's hesitation. However, not all adults know this. People who have not worked professionally with children, or are not parents, or parents whose children are meek and obedient, can be shocked by what some children are capable of.

My own adult child recently told me that her earliest memory is of "drowning in a hot tub." At 2-1/2, she was being led from a hotel swimming pool area when she suddenly yanked her hand free and bolted back toward the pool. On the way, she slipped on the wet floor and fell headfirst into the hot tub. It all happened in a second. Thankfully, we were able immediately to pull her out--coughing, gasping and bawling, but otherwise unharmed. Even though she was a very strong-willed child, I never anticipated she could be so strong and fast. It was certainly a learning experience for me.

Personally, I'm always looking to learn things from the facts of the cases I follow, as well as from the comments and anecdotes shared by fellow Websleuthers. Over the years, I have learned many useful and interesting things.

IMO, what we can learn from Serenity's case is not to underestimate what a determined child is capable of, and, consequently, to take the most immediate and effective action possible when a child is in a situation that "doesn't seem right." Obviously, the adult couple had to have known, especially if they were dropping off a child themselves, that Serenity "wasn't supposed to be up there." I really can't believe that it was necessary for them to go back into the home's office in order to "find out" that a little girl, alone near the highway next to the home, on a winter day without even a jacket, was from the home and "wasn't supposed to be up there." I would think the "unsafeness" and urgency of the situation would be apparent.
My point is that even if you think:
A) "It'll only take a few minutes to summon a staff member who'll then be able to get her;"
B) "she won't go far;"
C) "She'll likely return on her own;" or
D) "I'm not 'authorized' to intervene with a child that's not mine;
none of us can be sure of A, B, or C, as was proven in Serenity's case. In an unsafe situation, a child's wellbeing supersedes D. Even in the event that a misguided staff member were to criticize me for "interference" in returning the child, I would know that I had done the right thing, and that is what matters.
MOO.
I agree with all you have said. Children can be very quick and get themselves in trouble in a blink of an eye, without meaning to. I know this first hand as well.
The problem for the couple was, they saw a child and immediately ran into the office to alert the staff. Most people, when seeing a child they don't know, will hesitate to act or not act at all. There was a case not too long ago where a man saw a two-year-old who had wandered off. He took her by the hand and guided her back to where the adults were - all with good intentions - and was then tackled and had the police called on him because he "had the child". Yet in that case his intentions are good - he was helping her find her way back to her mommy. The point is, we've become hesitant to help unknown kids, and tend to think like in your scenario D (unauthorized to interact with the child). It's sad that it has turned out like that, but that is the result of the "problem people" in society (as we have seen in way too many cases) that seek to take advantage of little ones.
So I can understand the couple's instincts when upon seeing Serenity, the first thing they did was alert staff, and THEN try to get her. They were much closer to the office than to Serenity, and figured help was needed. For that I cannot lay blame on them.
 
@SkipperKey3 as a former teacher, and forever Mom, if I see any kids where they are not supposed to be, I will grab them.

One time, a sweet little boy about 3 was lost at the store, I asked him to hold my hand and we would look for his Mommy. He was so sweet and trusting, he gave me his hand, we went to the front of the store, there was a very frantic Mother.

I don't worry about getting knocked over for having a child not mine...I look like an elderly grandmother.
 
@SkipperKey3 as a former teacher, and forever Mom, if I see any kids where they are not supposed to be, I will grab them.

One time, a sweet little boy about 3 was lost at the store, I asked him to hold my hand and we would look for his Mommy. He was so sweet and trusting, he gave me his hand, we went to the front of the store, there was a very frantic Mother.

I don't worry about getting knocked over for having a child not mine...I look like an elderly grandmother.
I think it depends. Unfortunately a middle-aged man doing the same thing as you did would most likely cause alarm. I’m always hesitant to touch a child that I don’t know. I think I would probably stay with the child until I saw another person that could go look for the parent. I would stoop down to their level to form some kind of trust. Keep them engaged & safe. If I know the child...completely different story. I’m a middle-aged momma so it probably wouldn’t cause too much alarm if I took the child’s hand, but you never know and it’s just what I’m personally comfortable doing. IMO.
 
I think it depends. Unfortunately a middle-aged man doing the same thing as you did would most likely cause alarm. I’m always hesitant to touch a child that I don’t know. I think I would probably stay with the child until I saw another person that could go look for the parent. I would stoop down to their level to form some kind of trust. Keep them engaged & safe. If I know the child...completely different story. I’m a middle-aged momma so it probably wouldn’t cause too much alarm if I took the child’s hand, but you never know and it’s just what I’m personally comfortable doing. IMO.
On that same note, I was one day frantically looking for my daughter that was “hiding” outside her doctor’s office. A staff member saw her but did not know I was looking, asked her some questions, definitely didn’t touch her. She asked her to stay right there and quickly went into the building to report that there was an unattended child. Staff called security and then went out to talk and stand near her. A lot of children including mine are taught to not go anywhere with strangers. It’s a tough call. I was right around the corner and was quickly reunited with my daughter.
 
I hope they find her soon. The weather has not been cooperating. I can’t imagine how upsetting. this is for her family. To know she is very likely deceased because Of the weather conditions but just not found yet. :(
 
@SkipperKey3 as a former teacher, and forever Mom, if I see any kids where they are not supposed to be, I will grab them.

One time, a sweet little boy about 3 was lost at the store, I asked him to hold my hand and we would look for his Mommy. He was so sweet and trusting, he gave me his hand, we went to the front of the store, there was a very frantic Mother.

I don't worry about getting knocked over for having a child not mine...I look like an elderly grandmother.

I agree. Teachers and former teachers have a different perspective and a different comfort level for interacting with, or even appropriately touching, a child that is not their own. However, even as a former elementary teacher, I would not literally "grab" a child unless it was to prevent him/her from a dangerous situation such as falling or running into the street. If I had been the person in the parking lot that spotted Serenity up on the road, I think my instinct would have been to call the home's office or emergency number as I was driving over to where Serenity was. I would have engaged Serenity in conversation, if possible, until staff arrived. However, if she had attempted to run, I'm pretty sure my instinct would have been to restrain her, if physically able, until help arrived. Or, if she was willing, to walk with her back toward the home. Even if the temperature was only in the 50's, I couldn't have allowed a nine-year-old to run into the woods. I know woods, mountains, winter weather, and the impulsivity and "magical" thinking of children, so I would have been terrified to let her do that.

I understand the concern of possibly being mistaken for a child predator if attempting to move or transport a lost child. I agree that if the child does not need to be moved for safety reasons, it's best to call authorities or 911 and stay with the child and wait for help. The important thing is to stay with the child and keep him/her safe and in sight until help arrives. However, if you're the lone adult and without a phone or service, or the child is in need of medical attention, then transporting the child to the nearest safe place would be necessary, especially in inclement weather. Imagine if the woman that Jayme Closs encountered had not moved her to a safe place! Different situations call for different responses. Serenity and Jayme needed different responses than a toddler lost in a Walmart.

It's great that on this forum we can analyze these cases, share our experiences and perspectives, become aware of possible alternative responses to consider, and, hopefully, become prepared to handle a potentially unsafe situation involving a child or other vulnerable person. MOO.
 
I agree. Teachers and former teachers have a different perspective and a different comfort level for interacting with, or even appropriately touching, a child that is not their own. However, even as a former elementary teacher, I would not literally "grab" a child unless it was to prevent him/her from a dangerous situation such as falling or running into the street. If I had been the person in the parking lot that spotted Serenity up on the road, I think my instinct would have been to call the home's office or emergency number as I was driving over to where Serenity was. I would have engaged Serenity in conversation, if possible, until staff arrived. However, if she had attempted to run, I'm pretty sure my instinct would have been to restrain her, if physically able, until help arrived. Or, if she was willing, to walk with her back toward the home. Even if the temperature was only in the 50's, I couldn't have allowed a nine-year-old to run into the woods. I know woods, mountains, winter weather, and the impulsivity and "magical" thinking of children, so I would have been terrified to let her do that.

I understand the concern of possibly being mistaken for a child predator if attempting to move or transport a lost child. I agree that if the child does not need to be moved for safety reasons, it's best to call authorities or 911 and stay with the child and wait for help. The important thing is to stay with the child and keep him/her safe and in sight until help arrives. However, if you're the lone adult and without a phone or service, or the child is in need of medical attention, then transporting the child to the nearest safe place would be necessary, especially in inclement weather. Imagine if the woman that Jayme Closs encountered had not moved her to a safe place! Different situations call for different responses. Serenity and Jayme needed different responses than a toddler lost in a Walmart.

It's great that on this forum we can analyze these cases, share our experiences and perspectives, become aware of possible alternative responses to consider, and, hopefully, become prepared to handle a potentially unsafe situation involving a child or other vulnerable person. MOO.
I agree with all this, but as you say, it depends on the situation. This was not a toddler, this was a 9-year-old girl. I think we assume that by that age, kids are more aware of what is dangerous, although that is not always the case. We are much less likely to go up to a 9 or 10 year old who is walking around than we are a toddler, because we would assume that the toddler is lost and needs supervision, but that is not as easily ascertained with an older child. You treat cases with children Serenity's age much differently than a small toddler who obviously shouldn't be alone. It may not have appeared to the couple immediately that Serenity was in any danger, just that she was outside, so they alerted the staff since they were right by the office. I don't think they had any way of knowing that she wasn't just outside looking around or playing, but actively trying to run away or hide. They may even have wondered if staff was out with her, but they just didn't see the staff. That is very possible, since given the distance to the road, the slope and the trees by the road, they couldn't see everything.
I know it is a different age and all, but when we were growing up, we were allowed to play outside without supervision, and at an age younger than Serenity.
But of course, in her case, it was obvious that she was a child from the Home, as there were no other buildings within a mile, and it was most likely obvious to the couple that she shouldn't be outside alone.
The problem is, it wasn't in the 50s, as you say, but it was around 20 and falling. Very cold. And the couple knew it was too cold for a child, even one of that age, to be outside - especially without a coat.
But running in to tell staff was not something unusual since they were right there. If they were far from the entrance, I would agree, but being right by the entrance, ducking in to alert them was not out of line. It was very likely faster than trying to call them, and would get quicker attention.
 
@SkipperKey3 as a former teacher, and forever Mom, if I see any kids where they are not supposed to be, I will grab them.

One time, a sweet little boy about 3 was lost at the store, I asked him to hold my hand and we would look for his Mommy. He was so sweet and trusting, he gave me his hand, we went to the front of the store, there was a very frantic Mother.

I don't worry about getting knocked over for having a child not mine...I look like an elderly grandmother.
I have a little different story. I entered a grocery store and a kind of rough-looking mother was screaming at her little girl (4yrs, old?)who was frantically trying to get into the seat on the cart. I said "she's trying"! The little girl looked at me and puckered up. The woman hurried away saying "mind your own business" The manager saw this and came up to me and said "I'm so proud of you" over and over. I was heartsick, I could hardly shop. I saw them at checkout and thankfully the clerk gave the little girl a lollipop.
 
PODCAST: Crime Stories with Nancy Grace
Nancy talks with South Dakota State Senator, Lynne DiSanto, who is a leader in the search for Serenity.

Nancy's Expert Panel Also Weighs in:
  • Marc Klass: Founder, The KlassKids Foundation
  • Jeff Cortese: Former FBI supervisory special agent
  • Randall Kessler: Defense attorney
  • Dr. Ryan Fuller Clinical Psychologist
  • Leigh Egan Crime online investigative Reporter
Apple Podcasts: ‎Crime Stories with Nancy Grace: Serenity Dennard on Apple Podcasts
Did they get a couple of the facts right or was that just my imagination?

That's the worst account of the story that I've ever heard. JMO
 
I haven't had a chance to listen to it. Thanks for saving me the time, lol! :p
Well, Nancy's information was 'confused' at best, and the Senator told one side of the back round information.

I think they got the date she ran away, the time, and the circumstances of how she got away, right.

The Senator still won't say how long it had been since the adoptive mom had seen Serenity, although she's been asked in every single interview---including this one.
 
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