Found Deceased IN - Abigail (Abby) Williams, 13, & Liberty (Libby) German, 14, The Delphi Murders 13 Feb 2017 #126

[BNA]

Indiana last executions was 2009 from what I read. Something tells me a jury of his peers would be happy to execute BG.

Depends on who it is, doesn't it?

 

[NavadaSmith]

Here’s hoping that similar happened in this case.

If he walked up to someone in a park and shot them and left without touching his victim, yeah no DNA, but there is still evidence.

 

[cujenn81]

[QUOTE

On a side note regarding a topic discussed within the last couple of days, Abby’s mom mentioned on the segment of the audio one of the girls mentioned “the trail ends here”. But on the video above just after 4:40 the old rail bed is visible and continues onward. While it obviously wasn’t part of the trail system, neither does the far end of the bridge lead to an abrupt dead end especially if the girls wanted to distance themselves away from it so I’m sort of curious about that comment.

I've never understand this either. I believe it's thought that Abby had never been on the bridge before, so didn't know what was beyond the end of the bridge at that end. But Libby had been on the bridge before, so may have known that the trail ended and became private property.

I don't know the exact context to the comment 'the trail ends here'. It's once Libby started recording, but was this was when they first saw BG at the other side of the bridge or as he seemed to be charging towards them?

If it was said in an anxious way, I don't understand why they didn't think the situation meant it was worth, even acceptable to trespass. Either they were rule keepers or perhaps Libby had gone beyond the trail end before and been challenged by the land owner and told off, possibly even threatened, albeit in a I'm out with my shotgun shooting birds and if you're here, I may shoot you accidentally.

It's also possible that they thought that beyond the trail was actually more remote and potentially dangerous. If they stayed on the trail, they're more likely that other hikers will see and hear them.

Or, by this point BG was really close and/or he had shown then, or hinted at having a weapon.

The problem is that certain "social rules" (or standards that dictate how we should behave in society) are so ingrained in us that we won't break them -- even when breaking the "rules" would get us to safety. Criminals are not bound by these same rules and use them to their benefit. And the more obvious the rule, the less likely we are to break it.

A few examples of these rules are -- don't cause a scene, don't talk in a movie theater, don't drive on the grass, etc.

The girls likely felt they had nowhere to go at the end of the bridge simply because trespassing on private property is something we are told not to do.

 

[crhedBngr]

I've watched several videos online of people walking on MHB, and shooting downward as they walked (Gray Hughes). Rotted railroad ties, missing ties - he HAD to be familiar with that bridge!

He doesn't have to currently be a local. He may have frequented the bridge in his younger days and then moved.

JMVHO.

 

[cujenn81]

Here's an excerpt about our tendency to follow the rules from the book, The Cornered Cat by Kathy Jackson.

One of the things that criminals are good at—must be good at, in order to do their jobs—is using the social rules to their own advantage. Here are some examples of the social rules we in America obey every day:

Don't draw attention to yourself.
Don't knock over a little old lady.
Don't make people uncomfortable.
Don't leave home without your keys.
Don't order a meal and then leave.
Don't break a window.
Don't lie.
Don't talk in the movie theater.
Don't go out of the house naked.
Don't knock over your cubicle walls.
Don't lock the keys in the car.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Don't be late for your appointment.
Don't drive on the lawn.
Don't be rude.
Don't run in church.
Don't tackle the waitress.
Don't leave without saying goodbye.
Don't ignore people talking to you.
Don't barge in.
Don't leave your purse behind.
Don't yell in the library.
Don't talk too loud.
Don't abandon a full shopping cart.
Don't steal an old man's cane.
Don't throw food.
Don't use the "employees only" door.
Don't let baby ride without car seat.
Don't trip your husband.
Don't jump over line dividers.
Don't leave your card in the ATM.
Don't shove through a crowd.
Don't stand too close.
Don't run over a pedestrian.
Don't run a red light.
Don't act racist.
Don't leave your laundry.
Don't drag children by their arms.

That’s quite a list, isn’t it? Did some of those items make you laugh out loud for their sheer obviousness?

We live with a million rules, a billion rules, every day. Most of them are so ingrained in us by the time we’re adults that they become like a force of nature. Just as a fish is probably never aware that it is wet, humans are rarely conscious of the social rules that constrain us. And the more obvious the rule may seem, the less likely we are to notice it in daily life—or to deliberately break it in order to get out of trouble before it starts.

Here’s a challenge for you: read the list again. This time, as you read each one, picture a situation where violating the rule would be one way to get out of trouble.


For example:

"Don’t drive on someone’s lawn”
...unless the lawn is next to the road, and there’s a young child on the road, and you cannot possibly stop in time to avoid that child. In that case, steering toward the lawn might be just the thing.

"Don’t tackle the waitress.”
Can you picture a situation where it might be good or even necessary to do just that? What if you see that your waitress is about to be shot by another customer? Would she thank you, later, for pulling her to the ground and out of danger?

"Don’t make a fuss in public.”
Are you willing to be the first person who responds to a fire alarm in a crowded restaurant, even though the other patrons choose to play it cool and keep eating? Would you stand up and loudly announce that everyone needs to evacuate until the fire department has arrived to take control?

Because social rules are so rarely spoken aloud, they have a power to compel us far out of proportion to their purpose. When we see another person violating those social rules, we are often alarmed or dismayed—and often with good reason!—but the taboo against talking about the rules often also prevents us from being able to articulate exactly what we find so threatening about their behavior.


Even worse, when another person violates the social rules, many of us are still respectfully bound to obey those same rules. That prevents us from being able to respond immediately, appropriately, and effectively to the developing threat.


Criminals, especially predatory criminals, make a living by reading people. In order to stay alive and stay out of jail, they learn to watch the signals other people send. They literally gamble their lives and their freedom on choosing the “right” people to attack—people who will be good victims and follow the script the criminal has prepared. One important part of that script includes you, the good person, following little social rules even when those rules narrow your choices and finally trap you in a dangerous situation you could easily have escaped otherwise. Don’t fall for it!

 

[JnRyan]

Here's an excerpt about our tendency to follow the rules from the book, The Cornered Cat by Kathy Jackson.

One of the things that criminals are good at—must be good at, in order to do their jobs—is using the social rules to their own advantage. Here are some examples of the social rules we in America obey every day:

Don't draw attention to yourself.
Don't knock over a little old lady.
Don't make people uncomfortable.
Don't leave home without your keys.
Don't order a meal and then leave.
Don't break a window.
Don't lie.
Don't talk in the movie theater.
Don't go out of the house naked.
Don't knock over your cubicle walls.
Don't lock the keys in the car.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Don't be late for your appointment.
Don't drive on the lawn.
Don't be rude.
Don't run in church.
Don't tackle the waitress.
Don't leave without saying goodbye.
Don't ignore people talking to you.
Don't barge in.
Don't leave your purse behind.
Don't yell in the library.
Don't talk too loud.
Don't abandon a full shopping cart.
Don't steal an old man's cane.
Don't throw food.
Don't use the "employees only" door.
Don't let baby ride without car seat.
Don't trip your husband.
Don't jump over line dividers.
Don't leave your card in the ATM.
Don't shove through a crowd.
Don't stand too close.
Don't run over a pedestrian.
Don't run a red light.
Don't act racist.
Don't leave your laundry.
Don't drag children by their arms.

That’s quite a list, isn’t it? Did some of those items make you laugh out loud for their sheer obviousness?

We live with a million rules, a billion rules, every day. Most of them are so ingrained in us by the time we’re adults that they become like a force of nature. Just as a fish is probably never aware that it is wet, humans are rarely conscious of the social rules that constrain us. And the more obvious the rule may seem, the less likely we are to notice it in daily life—or to deliberately break it in order to get out of trouble before it starts.

Here’s a challenge for you: read the list again. This time, as you read each one, picture a situation where violating the rule would be one way to get out of trouble.


For example:

"Don’t drive on someone’s lawn”
...unless the lawn is next to the road, and there’s a young child on the road, and you cannot possibly stop in time to avoid that child. In that case, steering toward the lawn might be just the thing.

"Don’t tackle the waitress.”
Can you picture a situation where it might be good or even necessary to do just that? What if you see that your waitress is about to be shot by another customer? Would she thank you, later, for pulling her to the ground and out of danger?

"Don’t make a fuss in public.”
Are you willing to be the first person who responds to a fire alarm in a crowded restaurant, even though the other patrons choose to play it cool and keep eating? Would you stand up and loudly announce that everyone needs to evacuate until the fire department has arrived to take control?

Because social rules are so rarely spoken aloud, they have a power to compel us far out of proportion to their purpose. When we see another person violating those social rules, we are often alarmed or dismayed—and often with good reason!—but the taboo against talking about the rules often also prevents us from being able to articulate exactly what we find so threatening about their behavior.


Even worse, when another person violates the social rules, many of us are still respectfully bound to obey those same rules. That prevents us from being able to respond immediately, appropriately, and effectively to the developing threat.


Criminals, especially predatory criminals, make a living by reading people. In order to stay alive and stay out of jail, they learn to watch the signals other people send. They literally gamble their lives and their freedom on choosing the “right” people to attack—people who will be good victims and follow the script the criminal has prepared. One important part of that script includes you, the good person, following little social rules even when those rules narrow your choices and finally trap you in a dangerous situation you could easily have escaped otherwise. Don’t fall for it!

Good list. The first just about summarizes the rest. I was around a top level military special ops unit one time, DEVGRU (formerly known as SEAL Team 6). I was surprised at who I was seeing. Almost all were shorter than me. (In fact, I don't believe I saw ANY as tall as me.) There were no muscular Rambo types. Normal haircuts and none had beards. If I were to see them in civilian attire downtown, in a mall or a store, I wouldn't have thought they were the best of the Navy's best. As one guy told me it is advantage in that they are not really noticed and therefore don't draw attention to themselves in a urban environment. Your 6'4", 225# man is going to stick out in a crowd, but not so much with the 5'9", 165#man.

I can imagine your more 'successful' criminals blend in and don't draw attention to themselves. They don't break the rules - while they are in the public eye. But I never thought of my following the rules could make me a target.

 

[Charlot123]

Here's an excerpt about our tendency to follow the rules from the book, The Cornered Cat by Kathy Jackson.

One of the things that criminals are good at—must be good at, in order to do their jobs—is using the social rules to their own advantage. Here are some examples of the social rules we in America obey every day:

Don't draw attention to yourself.
Don't knock over a little old lady.
Don't make people uncomfortable.
Don't leave home without your keys.
Don't order a meal and then leave.
Don't break a window.
Don't lie.
Don't talk in the movie theater.
Don't go out of the house naked.
Don't knock over your cubicle walls.
Don't lock the keys in the car.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Don't be late for your appointment.
Don't drive on the lawn.
Don't be rude.
Don't run in church.
Don't tackle the waitress.
Don't leave without saying goodbye.
Don't ignore people talking to you.
Don't barge in.
Don't leave your purse behind.
Don't yell in the library.
Don't talk too loud.
Don't abandon a full shopping cart.
Don't steal an old man's cane.
Don't throw food.
Don't use the "employees only" door.
Don't let baby ride without car seat.
Don't trip your husband.
Don't jump over line dividers.
Don't leave your card in the ATM.
Don't shove through a crowd.
Don't stand too close.
Don't run over a pedestrian.
Don't run a red light.
Don't act racist.
Don't leave your laundry.
Don't drag children by their arms.

That’s quite a list, isn’t it? Did some of those items make you laugh out loud for their sheer obviousness?

We live with a million rules, a billion rules, every day. Most of them are so ingrained in us by the time we’re adults that they become like a force of nature. Just as a fish is probably never aware that it is wet, humans are rarely conscious of the social rules that constrain us. And the more obvious the rule may seem, the less likely we are to notice it in daily life—or to deliberately break it in order to get out of trouble before it starts.

Here’s a challenge for you: read the list again. This time, as you read each one, picture a situation where violating the rule would be one way to get out of trouble.


For example:

"Don’t drive on someone’s lawn”
...unless the lawn is next to the road, and there’s a young child on the road, and you cannot possibly stop in time to avoid that child. In that case, steering toward the lawn might be just the thing.

"Don’t tackle the waitress.”
Can you picture a situation where it might be good or even necessary to do just that? What if you see that your waitress is about to be shot by another customer? Would she thank you, later, for pulling her to the ground and out of danger?

"Don’t make a fuss in public.”
Are you willing to be the first person who responds to a fire alarm in a crowded restaurant, even though the other patrons choose to play it cool and keep eating? Would you stand up and loudly announce that everyone needs to evacuate until the fire department has arrived to take control?

Because social rules are so rarely spoken aloud, they have a power to compel us far out of proportion to their purpose. When we see another person violating those social rules, we are often alarmed or dismayed—and often with good reason!—but the taboo against talking about the rules often also prevents us from being able to articulate exactly what we find so threatening about their behavior.


Even worse, when another person violates the social rules, many of us are still respectfully bound to obey those same rules. That prevents us from being able to respond immediately, appropriately, and effectively to the developing threat.


Criminals, especially predatory criminals, make a living by reading people. In order to stay alive and stay out of jail, they learn to watch the signals other people send. They literally gamble their lives and their freedom on choosing the “right” people to attack—people who will be good victims and follow the script the criminal has prepared. One important part of that script includes you, the good person, following little social rules even when those rules narrow your choices and finally trap you in a dangerous situation you could easily have escaped otherwise. Don’t fall for it!

"Don't run in church"...

Does anyone remember the first chapter of "Tom Sawyer"? It ends up with Tom sticking a burdock under a dog's tail and letting the dog into a church during a Sunday prayer...

In general, after the first chapter, one gets an impression that Tom will grow into a troublesome young man, but I think that Mark Twain described himself. He grew into a brilliant satirist with the ability to laugh at the stupidity of preconceived notions.

I once, many years ago, knew a budding Ph.D. in psychology, whose father was an eminent scientist, and he, himself, was studying psychology of criminals. All tests that he'd give to criminals, he'd give to dad and his coworkers, too. He later said that their performance was not unlike, except for one parameter.

But to think of it, scientists, too, notice that rules are relative. One day Einstein realized that the laws of Newtonian mechanics might not be always applicable. In other words, where a criminal would ask, why should I abide by societal laws, Einstein asked, why should I abide by Newton's laws? And we got a lot from it.

 

[Deleted member 102539]

Indiana last executions was 2009 from what I read. Something tells me a jury of his peers would be happy to execute BG.

Peers would be terribly torn, I think. MOO

 

[I wonder]

The problem is that certain "social rules" (or standards that dictate how we should behave in society) are so ingrained in us that we won't break them -- even when breaking the "rules" would get us to safety. Criminals are not bound by these same rules and use them to their benefit. And the more obvious the rule, the less likely we are to break it.

A few examples of these rules are -- don't cause a scene, don't talk in a movie theater, don't drive on the grass, etc.

The girls likely felt they had nowhere to go at the end of the bridge simply because trespassing on private property is something we are told not to do.

I said this exact thing. Some of us are law keepers and it's hard to get past that mentality. As I mentioned before, Libby (or someone she knew) may have previously trespassed, not realising it was a big deal and was told off. We all know the stories about not going into Mr./Mrs. So and So garden's because they're really scary or would shoot you in the backside etc!

I think it's likely they ruled out trespassing until it was too late, or as I mentioned before, they may have felt it made them more vulnerable as they hoped another walker would be nearby if they kept to the trail.

 

[Yemelyan]

But I never thought of my following the rules could make me a target.

RSBBM


You must not be a woman, then.

MP has described how he and Libby had discussed what to do if a man seemed to be bothering her. But what is difficult to overcome in the moment is years of social conditioning that tell girls and women to speak when spoken to, smile, not make a scene, be polite, be quiet, don't hit other people, follow the directions of adults without question.

I agree totally with @cujenn81. When a criminal targets a person they are banking on social rules helping them commit a crime against you.

 

[Sheila Terranova]

Here's an excerpt about our tendency to follow the rules from the book, The Cornered Cat by Kathy Jackson.

One of the things that criminals are good at—must be good at, in order to do their jobs—is using the social rules to their own advantage. Here are some examples of the social rules we in America obey every day:

Don't draw attention to yourself.
Don't knock over a little old lady.
Don't make people uncomfortable.
Don't leave home without your keys.
Don't order a meal and then leave.
Don't break a window.
Don't lie.
Don't talk in the movie theater.
Don't go out of the house naked.
Don't knock over your cubicle walls.
Don't lock the keys in the car.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Don't be late for your appointment.
Don't drive on the lawn.
Don't be rude.
Don't run in church.
Don't tackle the waitress.
Don't leave without saying goodbye.
Don't ignore people talking to you.
Don't barge in.
Don't leave your purse behind.
Don't yell in the library.
Don't talk too loud.
Don't abandon a full shopping cart.
Don't steal an old man's cane.
Don't throw food.
Don't use the "employees only" door.
Don't let baby ride without car seat.
Don't trip your husband.
Don't jump over line dividers.
Don't leave your card in the ATM.
Don't shove through a crowd.
Don't stand too close.
Don't run over a pedestrian.
Don't run a red light.
Don't act racist.
Don't leave your laundry.
Don't drag children by their arms.

That’s quite a list, isn’t it? Did some of those items make you laugh out loud for their sheer obviousness?

We live with a million rules, a billion rules, every day. Most of them are so ingrained in us by the time we’re adults that they become like a force of nature. Just as a fish is probably never aware that it is wet, humans are rarely conscious of the social rules that constrain us. And the more obvious the rule may seem, the less likely we are to notice it in daily life—or to deliberately break it in order to get out of trouble before it starts.

Here’s a challenge for you: read the list again. This time, as you read each one, picture a situation where violating the rule would be one way to get out of trouble.


For example:

"Don’t drive on someone’s lawn”
...unless the lawn is next to the road, and there’s a young child on the road, and you cannot possibly stop in time to avoid that child. In that case, steering toward the lawn might be just the thing.

"Don’t tackle the waitress.”
Can you picture a situation where it might be good or even necessary to do just that? What if you see that your waitress is about to be shot by another customer? Would she thank you, later, for pulling her to the ground and out of danger?

"Don’t make a fuss in public.”
Are you willing to be the first person who responds to a fire alarm in a crowded restaurant, even though the other patrons choose to play it cool and keep eating? Would you stand up and loudly announce that everyone needs to evacuate until the fire department has arrived to take control?

Because social rules are so rarely spoken aloud, they have a power to compel us far out of proportion to their purpose. When we see another person violating those social rules, we are often alarmed or dismayed—and often with good reason!—but the taboo against talking about the rules often also prevents us from being able to articulate exactly what we find so threatening about their behavior.


Even worse, when another person violates the social rules, many of us are still respectfully bound to obey those same rules. That prevents us from being able to respond immediately, appropriately, and effectively to the developing threat.


Criminals, especially predatory criminals, make a living by reading people. In order to stay alive and stay out of jail, they learn to watch the signals other people send. They literally gamble their lives and their freedom on choosing the “right” people to attack—people who will be good victims and follow the script the criminal has prepared. One important part of that script includes you, the good person, following little social rules even when those rules narrow your choices and finally trap you in a dangerous situation you could easily have escaped otherwise. Don’t fall for it!

This is so important!!!! My mother, homicide reporter, said the survivors all said the same exact thing over twenty years....”I felt something was wrong but I went ahead and got into the ...(fill in the blank: alley, basement, car, elevator, apartment...) because I was too embarrassed about seeming to be rude to the man in it that made me nervous.

 

[Charlot123]

This is so important!!!! My mother, homicide reporter, said the survivors all said the same exact thing over twenty years....”I felt something was wrong but I went ahead and got into the ...(fill in the blank: alley, basement, car, elevator, apartment...) because I was too embarrassed about seeming to be rude to the man in it that made me nervous.

I am not sure following social rules in these situations is not the same as chameleon changing his colors to merge into the surroundings when he is scared.

 

[StarryStarryNight]

This is so important!!!! My mother, homicide reporter, said the survivors all said the same exact thing over twenty years....”I felt something was wrong but I went ahead and got into the ...(fill in the blank: alley, basement, car, elevator, apartment...) because I was too embarrassed about seeming to be rude to the man in it that made me nervous.

Yes! Gavin de Becker’s book “ The Gift of Fear” is all about this. Listening to your inner self and your gut feelings. They are seldom wrong. And if you end up offending a stranger in some way by following your gut feeling, that is A-OK. At least you’ll be waking up the next morning. I have recommended this book to so many friends and family and made sure all my nieces had it before they went off to college.

 

[JenniD]

Yes! Gavin de Becker’s book “ The Gift of Fear” is all about this. Listening to your inner self and your gut feelings. They are seldom wrong. And if you end up offending a stranger in some way by following your gut feeling, that is A-OK. At least you’ll be waking up the next morning. I have recommended this book to so many friends and family and made sure all my nieces had it before they went off to college.

Great book. There have been a couple of situations where I risked being rude in lieu of possibly being harmed or dead. No regrets!

 

[I wonder]

RSBBM


You must not be a woman, then.

MP has described how he and Libby had discussed what to do if a man seemed to be bothering her. But what is difficult to overcome in the moment is years of social conditioning that tell girls and women to speak when spoken to, smile, not make a scene, be polite, be quiet, don't hit other people, follow the directions of adults without question.

I agree totally with @cujenn81. When a criminal targets a person they are banking on social rules helping them commit a crime against you.

Absolutely. Women are so frequently accused of fussing, being melodramatic, hysterical, nagging, making a big deal of something etc.

I genuinely think females read situations better. But 12, 20, 40, 60, 80 years of being told not to make a fuss, are like chains. It's travelled unchanged through generations. It has to stop.

We need to tell our daughters, nieces, granddaughters, sisters, etc to trust their instincts. Our guts tell the truth.

It's ok to make a fuss.

If we feel uncomfortable, then we have the right to act as though we are in danger and to take action to protect ourselves.

If someone acts inappropriately they are wrong, not us.

It is not ok to touch us without consent.

It is not ok to say inappropriate things about our bodies, clothes, etc.

It is not ok to physically intimidate us.

It is not ok to belittle us.

It is not ok to do anything that makes us feel
uncomfortable.

No means NO.

This monster took advantage of the very best of those girls. Their love of being outside, of taking photos, of being together in a beautiful place having a nice time and their loyalty to one another. This is why I feel so invested in this case, having followed it from the start. Abby and Libby should have been safe. As a human I feel anger and grief that they weren't. As a woman I am filled with rage.

 

[Sheila Terranova]

Absolutely. Women are so frequently accused of fussing, being melodramatic, hysterical, nagging, making a big deal of something etc.

I genuinely think females read situations better. But 12, 20, 40, 60, 80 years of being told not to make a fuss, are like chains. It's travelled unchanged through generations. It has to stop.

We need to tell our daughters, nieces, granddaughters, sisters, etc to trust their instincts. Our guts tell the truth.

It's ok to make a fuss.

If we feel uncomfortable, then we have the right to act as though we are in danger and to take action to protect ourselves.

If someone acts inappropriately they are wrong, not us.

It is not ok to touch us without consent.

It is not ok to say inappropriate things about our bodies, clothes, etc.

It is not ok to physically intimidate us.

It is not ok to belittle us.

It is not ok to do anything that makes us feel
uncomfortable.

No means NO.

This monster took advantage of the very best of those girls. Their love of being outside, of taking photos, of being together in a beautiful place having a nice time and their loyalty to one another. This is why I feel so invested in this case, having followed it from the start. Abby and Libby should have been safe. As a human I feel anger and grief that they weren't. As a woman I am filled with rage.

Remember Ted Bundy’s fake broken arm? How could a “nice” girl refuse to help a man with a broken arm? We learn this in church and girl scouts, to help others in need! When I took Poli Sci forty years ago it was pointed out that girls, not boys or men, not old ladies like myself, were targeted to carry bombs because they’d always say yes to the nice man asking them to do him a favor and carry “his wife’s purse/package/bag “ or whatever story they made up to her. I’m very sorry this case has gone cold. Doesn’t seem possible with both video and audio, however blurry.

 

[cujenn81]

This is so important!!!! My mother, homicide reporter, said the survivors all said the same exact thing over twenty years....”I felt something was wrong but I went ahead and got into the ...(fill in the blank: alley, basement, car, elevator, apartment...) because I was too embarrassed about seeming to be rude to the man in it that made me nervous.

I actually have a perfect example of this.

When I was forced to evacuate for Hurricane Matthew, I stayed at a nice hotel in Charlotte, NC next to the Epicenter. For those who aren't familiar with Charlotte -- the Epicenter is a large indoor entertainment center in the heart of the city (there's a shopping mall, tons of bars and restaurants, a bowling alley, and a movie theater).

I was a smoker at the time (yuck, I know!) and stepped outside to smoke a cigarette around 11 pm. There were a number of people outside socializing on outdoor patios at nearby restaurants and several cops were even milling around in plain sight. (I later learned that a man had been shot during a violent protest right across the street from my hotel, and there was a large police presence downtown as a result.)

As I waited for the elevator that would take me back up to the hotel lobby, a young <modsnip> guy walked up and waited next to me. I immediately got a really bad feeling about this guy. He was headed in the opposite direction but turned around when he saw me walk up to the elevator, and then he kept looking around the corner and over his shoulder. There was no way I felt okay getting into an elevator alone with that guy. But, at the same time, I worried about how it would look if I walked away and where would I go anyway?

I decided that it didn't matter how it looked, turned around, and walked away. There was a large group of people standing around a nearby ashtray and I walked right up to them and said -- "This is probably going to sound crazy but can I just stand here and act like I'm here with you guys?" They were super nice about it and let me join them, and the guy at the elevators turned around and walked off as soon as I started talking to them!

I waited for 10-15 minutes and one of the ladies from the group was kind enough to take the elevator upstairs with me. I thank the dear Lord up above that I trusted my instincts that day because that dude was clearly up to no good.

 

[cujenn81]

Yes! Gavin de Becker’s book “ The Gift of Fear” is all about this. Listening to your inner self and your gut feelings. They are seldom wrong. And if you end up offending a stranger in some way by following your gut feeling, that is A-OK. At least you’ll be waking up the next morning. I have recommended this book to so many friends and family and made sure all my nieces had it before they went off to college.

I actually created a post on here with my notes from The Gift of Fear!
The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker

I strongly believe every person alive should read this book.

 

[IceIce9]

I actually have a perfect example of this.

When I was forced to evacuate for Hurricane Matthew, I stayed at a nice hotel in Charlotte, NC next to the Epicenter. For those who aren't familiar with Charlotte -- the Epicenter is a large indoor entertainment center in the heart of the city (there's a shopping mall, tons of bars and restaurants, a bowling alley, and a movie theater).

I was a smoker at the time (yuck, I know!) and stepped outside to smoke a cigarette around 11 pm. There were a number of people outside socializing on outdoor patios at nearby restaurants and several cops were even milling around in plain sight. (I later learned that a man had been shot during a violent protest right across the street from my hotel, and there was a large police presence downtown as a result.)

As I waited for the elevator that would take me back up to the hotel lobby, a young <modsnip> guy walked up and waited next to me. I immediately got a really bad feeling about this guy. He was headed in the opposite direction but turned around when he saw me walk up to the elevator, and then he kept looking around the corner and over his shoulder. There was no way I felt okay getting into an elevator alone with that guy. But, at the same time, I worried about how it would look if I walked away and where would I go anyway?

I decided that it didn't matter how it looked, turned around, and walked away. There was a large group of people standing around a nearby ashtray and I walked right up to them and said -- "This is probably going to sound crazy but can I just stand here and act like I'm here with you guys?" They were super nice about it and let me join them, and the guy at the elevators turned around and walked off as soon as I started talking to them!

I waited for 10-15 minutes and one of the ladies from the group was kind enough to take the elevator upstairs with me. I thank the dear Lord up above that I trusted my instincts that day because that dude was clearly up to no good.

Great example!

 

[somequestions]

I actually created a post on here with my notes from The Gift of Fear!
The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker

I strongly believe every person alive should read this book.

I have not read the book, The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. I will try to.

I have actually had people accuse me of being too careful. They think that I look at every situation as potential criminal activity or something bad going to happen. People accuse you of being negative. I know that not all people are bad people and not all situations are designed to deceive me. There are good people out there.

So I try to remain positive and look for "signs" of criminal activity versus just feeling like something bad might happen.

The book I read was titled, Crime Signals: How to Spot a Criminal Before You Become a Victim by Dr. David Givens.

My own personal advice is that if someone is following you try crossing the street to see if they do the same thing. Always keep moving. Keep your head up away from your cell phone screen and always pay attention to your surroundings. It is called situational awareness.