'Romance scams' Oil rig or military workers asking for money

[aThousandYearsWide]

Has an online love interest asked you for money?

The rise of online dating apps or social networking sites have become a preferred way for millions of people above to meet someone. But instead of finding a soul mate, some fall prey to a “stole mate” — a fraudster bent on tricking them into sending them money. According to the U.S. Federal Trade Commission (FTC), people reported losing $143 million to romance scams in 2018, with a median reported loss of $2,600 (for people over 70, it was $10,000). As with the case of the fake Capt. Garcia, romance scammers post fake profiles on dating or networking sites and apps, or approach targets on social media sites including Instagram, Facebook or Google Hangouts. Once they make a connection, scammers may quickly profess love for the victim and attempt to lure the love interest off the site or app to communicate through private email. (Capt. Garcia claimed he was not allowed to use his phone in Syria, and communicated with F.K. through an email language translator, evidently so as not to reveal his foreign identity.)

Romance scams may not be easily or quickly detected, as scammers may take their time to build trust in small steps, gradually moving from establishing common life experiences and backgrounds, to more tender expressions of affection. They tap into their targets’ emotional vulnerability, often communicating several times a day, to establish the contours of their identity, sometimes presenting themselves as working on an offshore oil rig, in the military, or as a doctor with an international health organization.

Once trust and an emotional bond are established, the scammers make up a story and ask the target for money — often requesting that payments be wired or sent by reload cards in relatively small installments (payments made this way are almost impossible to reverse). Romance scammers will say need the money to cover travel expenses; to pay for surgery for other medical expenses; to pay customs duties; or pay off gambling debts, among other “pressing” needs.

What Should You Do to Protect Yourself from Romance Fraud?
The best way to avoid getting trapped by a romance scammer, according to the FTC, is simple: never send money or gifts to, or share personal information with, a romantic interest you haven’t met in person. Here are four steps the agency suggests you take to protect yourself if you suspect a romance scam:

1. Stop communicating with the person immediately.
2. Talk to someone you trust, and pay attention if your friends or family say they’re concerned about your new love interest. Do not let a scammer rush you into wiring money or sending a reload or gift card.
3. Do a search for the type of job the person has to see if other people have heard similar stories. For example, you could do a search for “oil rig scammer” or “US Army scammer.”
4. Do a reverse image search of the person’s profile picture to see if it’s associated with another name or with details that don’t match up – those are signs of a scam.

Of course, if you think you have been scammed, contact your bank right away.

Real Identity Theft Stories | Case #14 Romance Scams | IdentityForce®

https://currents.greatcall.com/cate...rgeting-seniors-how-can-you-protect-yourself/

7 On Your Side tips on romance scams: Don't break your heart or your wallet | abc7ny.com

City of Somerville Massachusetts Police Department - Online Romance Scams

Has an online love interest asked you for money?

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Dating & romance

 

[aThousandYearsWide]

My Mom was recently a target of this. Luckily she didn't pay them a dime. I have since looked up everything I could on the subject and apparently this has been going on for the the past couple of years.

Here is what I found out from my Mom's experience as well other's who spoke out.

• A man meets you on FB, a dating site, other social media platforms. Maybe you have a few mutual friends from your High School.

• Claims to work out of the country on an oil rig, in the military, or as a surgeon. To be a 'millionaire'. Have a British accent even though they were born in the US. To have lived in the US but also in Europe.

• Tells you a sob story about their life. Wife died a tragic death. They are orphaned with no family. They have a child that is in boarding school.

• Showers you with romantic charming words. Declares his love for you, desire to marry you. Their english or grammar seems odd or broken.

• Gets you to chat in Google Hangouts or Whatsup app. Avoids video chat or talking on the phone. For some reason even with long hours on the rig they still message you randomly through the day. Has a weird email address name with mostly numbers.

• They claim the rules on the oil rig is that they don't have access to their money and they need to borrow $X,000 to see you. That they need it for equipment or for the company to hire their replacement on the rig. That they will pay you back (remember they are a 'millionaire'). That that obviously have a internet conmection but for some reason don't have access to their online banking. Some claim their funds are frozen.

• If you don't pay them they will start to get angry. Accuse you of faking your 'love affair'. That their kid feels the same way and is mad at you too. That they are crying. They want to see you that bad. That they can't believe how little you care.

• You may recieve a weird email from the 'oil rig company' about you requesting vacation time for their employee with the listed amounts. It claims that all money will be paid back. The information on the email and the name of the company doesn't come up in google searches.

 

[aThousandYearsWide]

I actually don't know what to do about it. Like how I should report it especially since my Mom is afraid he'll find out. Like she was even afraid to give me his email in fear I would contact him (she is still hopeful he is 'real' it is sooo sad. I mean she just found out).

I had her FWD me the email the 'company' supposedly sent her to get him vacation time. Red flags, red flags, red flags! She told me before what company he worked for. The name wasn't anywhere. It just said Atlantic oil vessel and some random letters and numbers. Nothing came up in a google search.

He also claims to have been on the rig for almost a year when I looked it up they work several weeks at a time. Another thing that didn't add up was he claims he has to pay to get off the rig for vacation time. Because they need to get a replacement for him. It is pretty crazy actually!

I have his alleged full name, email, the 'company's' email, and the real company's (he claims to work for) info email. I was wondering if anyone has any advice.

 

[sans_soleil]

Someone my mom knew was a target of this. She told my mother, mom and I quickly figured out she was being scammed, we googled it and found info on it. I think she even sent them some money but was too embarrassed to tell us, I could infer this from our conversations.

 

[aThousandYearsWide]

Someone my mom knew was a target of this. She told my mother, mom and I quickly figured out she was being scammed, we googled it and found info on it. I think she even sent them some money but was too embarrassed to tell us, I could infer this from our conversations.

I understand how embarrassing that could be for the victim. My Mom has been telling me about him for weeks. From the info she told me I told her to be careful. When he started asking for money was when I found out. I mean a millionaire asking a middle class woman for money was the alarm bells going off.

Did your Mom's friend report it? What was the story he told her? I noticed it is always overseas, tragically widowed, a child in boarding school, and they have no family that can help. When she told me about how his wife got hit by a bus in London I immediately thought of Terry Rassmussen's lies. I was like don't get your hopes up about this guy.

I'm glad your Mom's friend is okay and it was discovered before it got out of hand.

 

[sallye818]

@aThousandYearsWide -- I would report the info to LE, but it is very doubtful they can do anything about it, except to warn people of the scam. I have seen warnings in local newspapers, online, etc. but find that people don't pay attention when they're "in love". I have a friend going through this right now. She is a recent widow. The man claims he is a surgeon somewhere in the Middle East working for U.S. gov't. She met him on an online dating site. Her son tells us she has sent him money. Same story--child in boarding school, wife died in a horrible accident, blah blah blah. The texts he sends her are like reading bad British poetry. But they proclaim his undying love for her. He was supposed to meet her at the airport near DC recently, but backed out, of course, he had an excuse that satisfied my friend and she says they now have "a plan" for the future. I am very scared and sad for her but she will not listen to her friends/family. Some people are actually encouraging her to pursue the romance!! I have a hard time believing people are so gullible.

 

[aThousandYearsWide]

@aThousandYearsWide -- I would report the info to LE, but it is very doubtful they can do anything about it, except to warn people of the scam. I have seen warnings in local newspapers, online, etc. but find that people don't pay attention when they're "in love". I have a friend going through this right now. She is a recent widow. The man claims he is a surgeon somewhere in the Middle East working for U.S. gov't. She met him on an online dating site. Her son tells us she has sent him money. Same story--child in boarding school, wife died in a horrible accident, blah blah blah. The texts he sends her are like reading bad British poetry. But they proclaim his undying love for her. He was supposed to meet her at the airport near DC recently, but backed out, of course, he had an excuse that satisfied my friend and she says they now have "a plan" for the future. I am very scared and sad for her but she will not listen to her friends/family. Some people are actually encouraging her to pursue the romance!! I have a hard time believing people are so gullible.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. It is insane how brainwashing these guys can be. With my Mom this guy manipulated her into 'remembering' him from a High school freshman class. When he started demanding money I had to find multiple sources online to convince her he wasn't real. Even still she keeps asking me questions like, "Did you find out if they have to pay to get off the oil rig?". She really wanted to believe this guy. She is still attached to the illusion and even expressed wanting to find the 'real guy' in the pictures and saying things like maybe that guy is a real engineer.

It sickens me that these guys prey on vulnerable women like this. Your friend being a recent widow and my Mom is in a situation where she is trying to divorce her husband but he won't leave or hear it. She's in a loveless marriage and has expressed a longing for affection for some time.

I hate to hear your friend won't listen to anyone. Also concerning is the people encouraging it! What helped my Mom was reading the comment section on the Federal Trade Commission website. All the other women stories matching to hers like shattered the fantasy. And it also made her feel better in the fact she wasn't alone.

It's a hard situation because you don't want them to be heartbroken but even more you don't want them to get scammed.

I wish the best for your friend and hope she figures out soon.

(Oh yeah, bad british poetry for sure! My Mom told me a few lines he told her. It's almost laughable it's so bad!)

 

[Tattarattat]

I had a great aunt fall victim to a similar situation within the past year. If it is any help to your family or friends, please share with them this: my great aunt gave her life savings away essentially. She was required to move several states away near her son so that he could help her recover financially. She may have to return to work at an age where finding a suitable job with adequate income will be very difficult. These situations often result in the victim not sharing with their family and friends about their relationship. Let’s ask why. If you are not comfortable sharing your budding relationship with good friends and family, is it because you do not want to hear negativity? Are you expecting negativity because your intuition is telling you that something is not adding up? Listen to that inner voice when it does speak up.

These scams are gross, but fruitful.

 

[aThousandYearsWide]

I had a great aunt fall victim to a similar situation within the past year. If it is any help to your family or friends, please share with them this: my great aunt gave her life savings away essentially. She was required to move several states away near her son so that he could help her recover financially. She may have to return to work at an age where finding a suitable job with adequate income will be very difficult. These situations often result in the victim not sharing with their family and friends about their relationship. Let’s ask why. If you are not comfortable sharing your budding relationship with good friends and family, is it because you do not want to hear negativity? Are you expecting negativity because your intuition is telling you that something is not adding up? Listen to that inner voice when it does speak up.

These scams are gross, but fruitful.

I'm so sorry about what happened to your great Aunt. Now that I think of it, my Mom has only confided in me about him and briefly tried to confide in my sister but got shut down really quickly with negativity like you describe. It actually is really strange that I think of it because my Mom has a huge friend group that share everything together. Thank you for this insight. I hope the best for your Great Aunt.

 

[aThousandYearsWide]

Someone my mom knew was a target of this. She told my mother, mom and I quickly figured out she was being scammed, we googled it and found info on it. I think she even sent them some money but was too embarrassed to tell us, I could infer this from our conversations.

@aThousandYearsWide -- I would report the info to LE, but it is very doubtful they can do anything about it, except to warn people of the scam. I have seen warnings in local newspapers, online, etc. but find that people don't pay attention when they're "in love". I have a friend going through this right now. She is a recent widow. The man claims he is a surgeon somewhere in the Middle East working for U.S. gov't. She met him on an online dating site. Her son tells us she has sent him money. Same story--child in boarding school, wife died in a horrible accident, blah blah blah. The texts he sends her are like reading bad British poetry. But they proclaim his undying love for her. He was supposed to meet her at the airport near DC recently, but backed out, of course, he had an excuse that satisfied my friend and she says they now have "a plan" for the future. I am very scared and sad for her but she will not listen to her friends/family. Some people are actually encouraging her to pursue the romance!! I have a hard time believing people are so gullible.

I had a great aunt fall victim to a similar situation within the past year. If it is any help to your family or friends, please share with them this: my great aunt gave her life savings away essentially. She was required to move several states away near her son so that he could help her recover financially. She may have to return to work at an age where finding a suitable job with adequate income will be very difficult. These situations often result in the victim not sharing with their family and friends about their relationship. Let’s ask why. If you are not comfortable sharing your budding relationship with good friends and family, is it because you do not want to hear negativity? Are you expecting negativity because your intuition is telling you that something is not adding up? Listen to that inner voice when it does speak up.

These scams are gross, but fruitful.

I found out you can file a complaint on the behalf of someone else, and you don't even have to put your name or the victims name. If you have any info on the guy they can investigate it and go from there. I filled one out with the FTC and am about to file with the FBI.

GettingStarted - FTC Complaint Assistant

Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) | Home

 

[sallye818]

I had a great aunt fall victim to a similar situation within the past year. If it is any help to your family or friends, please share with them this: my great aunt gave her life savings away essentially. She was required to move several states away near her son so that he could help her recover financially. She may have to return to work at an age where finding a suitable job with adequate income will be very difficult. These situations often result in the victim not sharing with their family and friends about their relationship. Let’s ask why. If you are not comfortable sharing your budding relationship with good friends and family, is it because you do not want to hear negativity? Are you expecting negativity because your intuition is telling you that something is not adding up? Listen to that inner voice when it does speak up.

These scams are gross, but fruitful.

This is so awful!! My DIL works at a bank and says she sees these older women fall prey to these types of scams, as well as religious leaders soliciting money, often. I feel so bad. My friend is well-off after her husband's death and I know if she keeps going down this path with this man, she will lose her retirement and financial security as well. As I said, I feel angry and sad. I pray that she will listen to her inner voice...right now, she is just too swept away

 

[sallye818]

I'm so sorry about what happened to your great Aunt. Now that I think of it, my Mom has only confided in me about him and briefly tried to confide in my sister but got shut down really quickly with negativity like you describe. It actually is really strange that I think of it because my Mom has a huge friend group that share everything together. Thank you for this insight. I hope the best for your Great Aunt.

I think these ladies feel so privileged to be fawned over by handsome, successful, loving men...if they only saw them in RL they would probably run the other way!

 

[Tattarattat]

I found out you can file a complaint on the behalf of someone else, and you don't even have to put your name or the victims name. If you have any info on the guy they can investigate it and go from there. I filled one out with the FTC and am about to file with the FBI.

GettingStarted - FTC Complaint Assistant

Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) | Home

This is great information. Thanks for these resources. I hope the best for your mother. Processing through the emotions related to this situation must be really difficult and very confusing.

 

[Tattarattat]

This is so awful!! My DIL works at a bank and says she sees these older women fall prey to these types of scams, as well as religious leaders soliciting money, often. I feel so bad. My friend is well-off after her husband's death and I know if she keeps going down this path with this man, she will lose her retirement and financial security as well. As I said, I feel angry and sad. I pray that she will listen to her inner voice...right now, she is just too swept away

I wanted to acknowledge your post but just couldn’t bring myself to press “like”. I really hope something helps your friend see the truth soon. It must be so very difficult to acknowledge to oneself that you have believed these lies, and then process through that grief. I would be curious to know mental health professionals’ take on these situations, as I imagine it could mimic a traumatic breakup or death of a partner, which would be something many of these people have experienced and want to avoid again. Perhaps that makes them more likely to deny the truth to their self and shut down when others try to alert them to the red flags? It’s certainly some kind of psychological/emotional...phenomena, maybe, that makes people fall victim to it on the daily.

 

[MajorHoople]

I once got an email from a Nigerian Prince ..........

 

[LadyL]

I once got an email from a Nigerian Prince ..........

only once?

 

[Angela_Beckett]

Same. I once got contacted on a dating site by this widower, whose wife died in an accident, with a small boy in a boarding school, and who had no living relatives in the world. Oh, he was a millionaire, of course
I knew it was a scammer and I had a lot of fun pointing holes in his story ‘til he stopped answering.

 

[aThousandYearsWide]

This is great information. Thanks for these resources. I hope the best for your mother. Processing through the emotions related to this situation must be really difficult and very confusing.

You are very welcome! I hope the best for your great aunt.

I have good news about my Mom. After I showed her a link with stories of other people who had similar 'online love interests' she realized she was being scammed. It took like a few days where she would ask me, "are you sure oil rigs can't (find in the blank)", and, "but he video chatted me". Apparently they can 'hire' people to pose as them and use their pictures. When she 100% realized it was a scam she said she was having fun wasting his time and playing along with him (I don't recommend this but she saw it like wasting his time from scamming another person). She said he stopped all contact when she told him she looked at his whole facebook profile and asked who that other guy was and if it was actually him or not. I recently asked her if she felt any negative feelings about falling for it and she said no because in the back of her mind she knew the whole time he could have been fake. She was just hoping it was real at the time. I reminded her of how she was telling me about him before and that she thought he went to school with him but she still is saying the same that she questioned it the whole time. It might be a coping mechanism. At least she's not upset which is good.

I didn't hear anything back from reporting it and neither has my Mom. She never gave him any money which is likely the reason.

Once again I wish the best for your Great aunt.

 

[aThousandYearsWide]

Same. I once got contacted on a dating site by this widower, whose wife died in an accident, with a small boy in a boarding school, and who had no living relatives in the world. Oh, he was a millionaire, of course
I knew it was a scammer and I had a lot of fun pointing holes in his story ‘til he stopped answering.

My Mom recently did the same thing! Was he a oil rigger, soldier, or a doctor?

 

[aThousandYearsWide]

I once got an email from a Nigerian Prince ..........

I can only imagine how the email went. Like how does one introduce themselves as a 'prince'?

Email address Nigerianprince123@____.com.

Did he ask for money by any chance?