I’ve considered posting these thoughts several times over the past few years. So while this is in response to the above post on The Murdough case, it applies to many, many other cases too.
I am by no means defending the Murdoughs, but having been close to a nationally covered crime I’m not surprised the brothers spoke. To say family members, loved ones and key witnesses are inundated w/press inquiries is an understatement. Phones ring constantly w/calls from reporters and “producers” asking for interviews. To the point where people feel forced to relinquish their phone to someone else to answer. Worse yet, the vultures show up at their workplace, their home and even their kid’s soccer practice. The disruption caused by the press would be hard for anyone to bear even on a good day. Fortunately I haven’t been the target of press attention personally, but people I love have and it blew me away.
To fully understand why someone would publicly comment I think it’s important to first realize for the people who solicit interviews, it is their job to persuade people to talk. They do it all day every day and they are very good at it. So when they target a normal person in the midst of THE WORST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED it’s not a fair fight.
These people talk to their target with all sorts of empathy, tell them how sorry they are and how horrible it must be. And they always apologize for bothering them. During that conversation they try to determine what is most important to the reeling soul. During that nicey nice part of the conversation they determine which tried and true persuasive argument(s) to use, including but not limited to:
1). I know having the press hound you is disturbing and disruptive for you and your family, especially your kids/elderly Mom/sick spouse/pregnant sister/cat. It’s not even safe. I know one woman who [insert press frenzy horror story here]. Everyone wants to be first to interview you. Trust me, if you do just one interview the press will stop hounding you. And you should do it w/us because I understand how hard this is and ... [doesn’t matter what they say next. It’s almost certainly a lie].
2). But you want to find them/catch whoever did this/find justice for [the deceased], right? I know you’d feel terrible if they hurt someone else, wondering if you could have done something to stop them. If you talk to us it will encourage anyone with information to come forward and give LE the break they need.
3. This is a big story and lots is going to be said whether you talk or not. It’s terrible what happens to people who don’t talk. The press and internet trolls make up all sorts or lies. I’ve seen people’s entire life be ruined because they didn’t speak out. [insert scary story here]. If you talk to us you can let the world know the truth and get ahead of rumors and trolls.
4. I don’t understand why you don’t want to help [dead loved one or incarcerated family member]?
5. You know, if you stay silent people will assume you think [spouse/sibling/child/friend] is guilty. You don’t want that, do you?
5. By talking you will help victims of other crimes feel less alone. [ insert tragic suicide story here].
6. It’s been proven people like you who talk about their story heal faster and have less long-term issues/PTSD. And your family will have those same benefits even if it’s just you that talks.
7. a) I know funerals are expensive or b)I hope you’re all able to be together and support each other during this difficult time. No? I’m so sorry. [insert thoughtful pause here]. You know, our integrity means everything to us and we’d never pay for an interview but everyone here feels terrible for you and maybe I can a)arrange a donation to the funeral home. b) use our air miles to fly Aunt Sara and little Joey to city x so they can be with the family. I bet we can even use points to put them up in a hotel.
8) etc.
Whatever argument they choose they include “believe me. I’ve seen this so many times and know it will help people come forward/help find them/make people understand/make you feel better. Trust me. I want to help”.
As time passes friends/family are able to think more clearly and the press frenzy dissipates. So I do wonder about interviews given months or years after an event. But I’ll never question why anyone talks to the press shortly after a crime occurs. Chances are they don’t even know why themselves.
Finally, I can’t finish without giving a nod to those reporters who don’t approach landing an interview as a sporting event. I’ll never forget the local reporter who approached us apologetically as we were leaving CW’s sentencing hearing, asking if we’d like to comment. When we shook our heads she quietly said “I understand” and was gone. She’s one of the good ones and I’m sure there are many others like her out there. Bless their hearts.
