Found Safe ME - Jill Sidebotham, 28, Nicholas Hansen, 38, Lydia Hansen, 2, Camping in Phillips area, overdue from trip, Sanford, 3 July 2022

I don't understand. Who's running the police force up there? They buy this crap?
Respectfully, what do you want them to do? I'm not implying I'm thrilled with the situation but every day people throw away decade long marriages, family, friends, jobs, etc...for toxic/abusive relationships, with no regard of the impact it has on others.

In addition, LE's hands are very frequently tied when it comes to child protective services. It's a broken system and one of the most frustrating things among both agencies.
 
On the one hand, yeah.

But on the other hand, I've known a number of women over the years who have thrown over family, jobs, common sense for an abusive bad news boyfriend/spouse/lover.

I wonder if it went down like this: the man she thinks of as her "one true love" came back to reclaim her, and convinced her that he was a reformed man, but they have to go somewhere where her family won't try to break them up and it will be just the two of them and baby, and they'll be the perfect family, etc.

I've known more than I care to say that fit the above. Extremely common.
 
Respectfully, what do you want them to do? I'm not implying I'm thrilled with the situation but every day people throw away decade long marriages, family, friends, jobs, etc...for toxic/abusive relationships, with no regard of the impact it has on others.

In addition, LE's hands are very frequently tied when it comes to child protective services. It's a broken system and one of the most frustrating things among both agencies.

Well, they can start by interviewing them individually (and in person) and making sure that Jill has her daughter with her when they interview her. Is it possible this is all true? Sure. But in my experience, I think it's more likely it isn't.

Forget the fiance, Jill just left her son and ran off? Ok, we could say some moms may do that. But it goes against everything her family said and believes about her. It's out of character for her, it seems. And then why has there been no trace of them? No cards being used? Nothing. They knew they were being looked for; of course they did. They didn't want to be found? Ok, fine. But why not call your son at the very least or your parents so they don't think you're lying at the bottom of a lake somewhere or you're being tortured and raped for the rest of your days? They're adults. They didn't have to do this in hiding. They could have run away together and started a new life in privacy without all the cloak and dagger stuff.

Like I said, is it possible she went willingly and intentionally hasn't gotten in touch? Intentionally hasn't used her credit cards? Intentionally allowed the police to search for her, drained resources that could have been used for other things, and allowed her family to be worried sick? Yes. But it's way more likely that he is pulling the strings in my opinion.
 
I feel very uneasy about this.

How does an impromptu camping trip segue into abandoning a child, a fiance and a loving, supportive family?

Not even a text or an old school postcard to say, We're not coming back.

moo
 
Well, they can start by interviewing them individually (and in person) and making sure that Jill has her daughter with her when they interview her. Is it possible this is all true? Sure. But in my experience, I think it's more likely it isn't.

Forget the fiance, Jill just left her son and ran off? Ok, we could say some moms may do that. But it goes against everything her family said and believes about her. It's out of character for her, it seems. And then why has there been no trace of them? No cards being used? Nothing. They knew they were being looked for; of course they did. They didn't want to be found? Ok, fine. But why not call your son at the very least or your parents so they don't think you're lying at the bottom of a lake somewhere or you're being tortured and raped for the rest of your days? They're adults. They didn't have to do this in hiding. They could have run away together and started a new life in privacy without all the cloak and dagger stuff.

Like I said, is it possible she went willingly and intentionally hasn't gotten in touch? Intentionally hasn't used her credit cards? Intentionally allowed the police to search for her, drained resources that could have been used for other things, and allowed her family to be worried sick? Yes. But it's way more likely that he is pulling the strings in my opinion.

LE met with them "in person" as well

Again, I'm not saying I like or fully believe the situation (Manipulators are the 2nd most convincing people- Junkies being #1 in my opinion/experience) I was simply replying in regards to calling out LE and their efforts. Their job is to enforce the law and many times their hands are tied with what they're able to do when no evidence of a crime being committed. Same with CPS. Sometimes you see the writing on the wall but they're within their legal rights, regardless of how strange and uncharacteristic it is. It's a very common frustration between both agencies. However, I will note that even though they stated "can report that each party is unharmed and safe, and no evidence of criminal behavior has been observed”, doesn't mean they aren't monitoring the situation, gathering information and working on other options. I just don't think it's fair to call out LE as we really don't have all the information. Again, just my opinion.
 
I’m worried that we’ll hear about this in a few years when the grandparents learn she’s “visiting relatives” or “being homeschooled.” (Not a dig at homeschooling - I homeschool most of mine. There have been a number of recent cases using those two explanations when relatives start asking about a child not seen for a few years; Nicole & Jasmine Snyder come to mind).
 
LE met with them "in person" as well

Again, I'm not saying I like or fully believe the situation (Manipulators are the 2nd most convincing people- Junkies being #1 in my opinion/experience) I was simply replying in regards to calling out LE and their efforts. Their job is to enforce the law and many times their hands are tied with what they're able to do when no evidence of a crime being committed. Same with CPS. Sometimes you see the writing on the wall but they're within their legal rights, regardless of how strange and uncharacteristic it is. It's a very common frustration between both agencies. However, I will note that even though they stated "can report that each party is unharmed and safe, and no evidence of criminal behavior has been observed”, doesn't mean they aren't monitoring the situation, gathering information and working on other options. I just don't think it's fair to call out LE as we really don't have all the information. Again, just my opinion.

I think it's fair. I think the public needs more information about how LE decided they're safe as making that determination means people stop paying attention. MOO.
 
Yeah well good luck with that! Meanwhile she’s lost her family. Will her young son ever trust her again?

Probably not. The damage is incalculable. I'm not in any way saying it is a good situation, or that there won't be violence down the road. I'm just saying it's tragically common for people, mostly women, to choose this kind of situation.
 
WSers are fairly constantly making comments along the lines of "you can only trust LE" or "I don't believe it until I hear it from LE." This is despite the fact that LE consistently lie and withhold information. Then we have this case and people disbelieve the story we are hearing from LE. I don't get it.

IMO
 
WSers are fairly constantly making comments along the lines of "you can only trust LE" or "I don't believe it until I hear it from LE." This is despite the fact that LE consistently lie and withhold information. Then we have this case and people disbelieve the story we are hearing from LE. I don't get it.

IMO
It’s not that LE is lying, it’s that there is likely manipulation taking place and grey space due to a complicated domestic situation. If she’s spoken to them and says she’s safe, there’s not much for them to do. Does not at all mean she’s actually safe, I do not think she is at all.
 

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