NJ- School Superintendent blames girl’s family for her suicide after she was beaten by a group of girls in the hallway of her school.

[PriorTheCreator]

In modern society those that do not use social media will fall behind and not thrive.
IMO it's like the invention of the internet and cell phone. It became a necessity for modern living and business.
Maybe boomers can get away with it now, but every generation going forward will utilize these things as normal as lightbulbs

This is a perfect example of Planck's principle

Planck's principle is the view that change does not occur because individuals change their mind, but rather that successive generations of individuals have different views.

 

[stmarysmead]

N.J. school district where Adriana Kuch was attacked has a 'culture of violence,' community members say

Parents, teachers and students of Central Regional School District say administrators have a history of ignoring violence within the schools.

www.nbcnews.com

 

[BeginnerSleuther]

I can tell you from our situation that the blasé attitude in certain schools and reluctance to get involved is easily recognizable by the Bully and by his target. The Bully knows that at school his victim is helpless and trapped and that he will get no more than a “Now…be nice”. The victim knows he is desparstely on his own.

Everyone wants just to avoid blame. This Supt. Is the patron Saint of that attitude. Shut the door, not my problem, kids will be kids.

To begin with, get the phones out of the schools. Hand them (n on arrival. ALL of them! Secondly, have a step plan that begins with counseling…to suspension…to police report. No tolerance.

As a society, we have to provide for some sort of justice when social media is weaponized. It cant just be ignored.

Agree with a lot of this, but would not advocate kids turning in their phones. Until we get a handle on mass shootings, I think all kids need cell phones. I'm fully in favor of making social media inaccessible on school grounds and any kid caught recording something like this gets expelled.

 

[stmarysmead]

Agree with a lot of this, but would not advocate kids turning in their phones. Until we get a handle on mass shootings, I think all kids need cell phones. I'm fully in favor of making social media inaccessible on school grounds and any kid caught recording something like this gets expelled.

I see your point and it is well taken. But the ratio of rare school shootings to epidemic bullying by phone…still overwhelmingly shows the phones in school to be problematic IMO.

Each teacher in each class can have a cell phone for safety. Why does every kid need one in the hallway and in class?

They can turn them in on arrival and get them back as they leave. TicToc is loaded with school hallway fights and disgusting behavior. School is the ‘stage set‘ most often involved. More drama than academics.

 

[BeginnerSleuther]

I see your point and it is well taken. But the ratio of rare school shootings to epidemic bullying by phone…still overwhelmingly shows the phones in school to be problematic IMO.

Each teacher in each class can have a cell phone for safety. Why does every kid need one in the hallway and in class?

They can turn them in on arrival and get them back as they leave. TicToc is loaded with school hallway fights and disgusting behavior. School is the ‘stage set‘ most often involved. More drama than academics.

Every single kid needs a cell phone because every single kid deserves a cell phone if there's a mass shooting. They deserve to be able to call for help. They deserve to be able to call their family. There is no reason cell phones can't be used responsibly if the school shuts off access to social media on school grounds. No reason at all they can't do that.

MOO

 

[stmarysmead]

Every single kid needs a cell phone because every single kid deserves a cell phone if there's a mass shooting. They deserve to be able to call for help. They deserve to be able to call their family. There is no reason cell phones can't be used responsibly if the school shuts off access to social media on school grounds. No reason at all they can't do that.

MOO

Can the camera function be shut off too?

 

[BeginnerSleuther]

Can the camera function be shut off too?

Don't know, but like I said, any kid caught recording or posting anything inside the school should be expelled.

 

[Laughing]

Agree with a lot of this, but would not advocate kids turning in their phones. Until we get a handle on mass shootings, I think all kids need cell phones. I'm fully in favor of making social media inaccessible on school grounds and any kid caught recording something like this gets expelled.

Natural disasters occur much more frequently.

If cell towers are still operational, I want to know where my family is after a tornado or ice storm or....

My Hubby's retired now, but when cell phones started to be popular -- he had a basket on his desk in his classroom.

First time he saw a student's phone, it went into the basket, student picked it up at the end of class.

Second time in a week, phone went to the office for the rest of the day, student picked it up at the end of the day.

Second time the office saw it -- parent had to come into the office to retrieve it.

Obviously some teachers enforced & others did not.

Took some record keeping, but not much.

One day an early release was announced over a building's intercom. One of our kids had a great Geometry teacher. The teacher heard the announcement, cleared her throat, and said, "I am going to turn around and write next week's assigned pages on the board, that will take me about 3 minutes." She turned around, and every kid with a phone quickly notified their parents! We love her for many reasons. There is an appropriate use for student's phones -- and it's limited. No every family signs up for text alerts.

I suppose when suddenly every kid had a phone, and schools went to BYOD Bring Your Own Device, that reasoning didn't work any more.

 

[PriorTheCreator]

Natural disasters occur much more frequently.

If cell towers are still operational, I want to know where my family is after a tornado or ice storm or....

My Hubby's retired now, but when cell phones started to be popular -- he had a basket on his desk.

First time he saw a student's phone, it went into the basket, student picked it up at the end of class.

Second time in a week, phone went to the office for the rest of the day, student picked it up at the end of the day.

Second time the office saw it -- parent had to come into the office to retrieve it.

Took some record keeping, but not much.

I suppose when suddenly every kid had a phone, and schools went to BYOD Bring Your Own Device, that didn't work.

BBM

Thinking about it, I wonder of there is statistics to number of mass shootings vs natural disasters

I know this is the current stat

There have been 71 mass shootings in the US this year – in just 6 weeks

The Gun Violence Archive defines a mass shooting as an incident in which four or more people are shot or killed, not including the shooter.

www.usatoday.com

Nationwide, there have been a total of 71 mass shootings this year-to-date.

"There's not been any year that we've had 67 in six weeks" this early in the year, said Mark Bryant, executive director of the Gun Violence Archive, on Tuesday morning. By Tuesday evening, the number of mass shootings reported and verified by the Gun Violence Archive, a nonprofit formed in 2013 to track gun violence in the U.S, increased to 71.

 

[stmarysmead]

Don't know, but like I said, any kid caught recording or posting anything inside the school should be expelled.

i understand your stance regarding the safety factor. But we can see that many of these schools just do not follow up. If only they all were like Mr Laughing in the post above.

As awful as they are, how many school shootings are there vs this epidemic of bullying. Our children are far FAR more likely to be damaged by bullying and its related violence than the sensational acts of school shootings. IMO

If the teacher has a phone in the class, the teacher can be as effective at calling for help. There doesn’t need to be every child calling police…or for that matter calling a parent, who wouldnt be able to access in a shooting situation.

Actually, i used to believe every child needed one too.. But, like everything else, something ugly and destructive grew out of what should have been a real safety advance. They are weaponized now.

 

[stmarysmead]

I get a real sense of hopelessness that much can be done. We all want something done…but

The teachers say its not their fault. They’d need a crystal ball.

The administration says there’s two sides to every beatdown by four girls.

The parents say the kids need their phones in class and in the hallway.

So we just let it go on….

 

[Anthony96]

Omg wth such a poor soul to lose like that

 

[BeginnerSleuther]

i understand your stance regarding the safety factor. But we can see that many of these schools just do not follow up. If only they all were like Mr Laughing in the post above.

As awful as they are, how many school shootings are there vs this epidemic of bullying. Our children are far FAR more likely to be damaged by bullying and its related violence than the sensational acts of school shootings. IMO

If the teacher has a phone in the class, the teacher can be as effective at calling for help. There doesn’t need to be every child calling police…or for that matter calling a parent, who wouldnt be able to access in a shooting situation.

Actually, i used to believe every child needed one too.. But, like everything else, something ugly and destructive grew out of what should have been a real safety advance. They are weaponized now.

It doesn't have to be a contest. Even if bullying is more rampant, that doesn't mean that cell phones shouldn't be allowed. By making that type of policy, the districts would be punishing students who follow the rules because their classmates won't. That's not ok either. IMO.

Yes, the teacher can make the call, but look at school shootings and you'll see a clear pattern. It's the students making these calls. Yes, it's sometimes teachers too, but way more students. And it should be that way. There's one teacher for every, what, 30-40 students? In mass hysteria and chaos, there are times that students are by themselves and not around a teacher. Also, students should get to call their loved ones. A 14-year-old being gunned down deserves to be able to call his or her mother.

MOO.

 

[ChatteringBirds]

<modsnip referenced post was removed>

This is about social media and a generation of kids being raised addicted to likes. When online videos act as babysitter and nanny, of course the kids are going to grow up craving anything that gets them attention. It's the new child beauty pageant, only to win the crown, other people have to get hurt, exploited, or harassed.

Why young brains are especially vulnerable to social media

The science behind why apps like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat impact your child’s brain in a different way than your adult brain.

www.apa.org

Kids have always craved more attention than parents were able to give, IMO. But I think how they deal with it and express it is largely based on how the rest of their generation is dealing with it. They copy the coping mechanisms and behaviors they see around them.

Today's kids and teens COULD choose to seek attention by recording positive or interesting things they're doing, and some are. But we have to ask ourselves why so many others are choosing destruction of property, violence, etc. as their way to seek attention - when there are other ways.

Totally agree. Even adults are… my friend’s in their 40’s are. I am not on social media anymore because it’s just so unhealthy that way.

I am also older and on one SM site, but it has Groups/Pages I really enjoy and is the best way to stay in touch with certain people.

 

[BrownRice]

I can tell you from our situation that the blasé attitude in certain schools and reluctance to get involved is easily recognizable by the Bully and by his target. The Bully knows that at school his victim is helpless and trapped and that he will get no more than a “Now…be nice”. The victim knows he is desparstely on his own.

Everyone wants just to avoid blame. This Supt. Is the patron Saint of that attitude. Shut the door, not my problem, kids will be kids.

To begin with, get the phones out of the schools. Hand them (n on arrival. ALL of them! Secondly, have a step plan that begins with counseling…to suspension…to police report. No tolerance.

As a society, we have to provide for some sort of justice when social media is weaponized. It cant just be ignored.

I agree with everything. Wanted to add a comment about removing phones.

1) Many of my teacher friends agree about wanting to remove phones from classrooms. However, they don’t have support from administrators and board so aren’t allowed. Administration backs down to parent demands. As such, it’s difficult teaching kids who are on the phone during class.

2) in my kids’ district, in middle and high school, they are tasked with using phones in class for assignments (ie math apps).

Because of #2, it makes it difficult (but not impossible) for a parent to send teen to school with no phone. Not impossible I say because our kid had his phone confiscated by a teacher for using in class when he was repeatedly told not to, and the teacher called my husband from the phone to say it was confiscated We took phone away from him and he figured it out at school phone-less. (Note: I was mortified and disappointed my son was not behaving in class and we made him apologize as well. I thought the teacher calling on the phone was brilliant. The teacher later said he was impressed on how we handled it because most parents were mad he took their kids phone away in class.).

Parents want phones at school because of safety and shootings. Parents don’t want to listen to their kids complain about no phone. Kids rule the roost these days

 

[BeginnerSleuther]

Kids have always craved more attention than parents were able to give, IMO. But I think how they deal with it and express it is largely based on how the rest of their generation is dealing with it. They copy the coping mechanisms and behaviors they see around them.

Today's kids and teens COULD choose to seek attention by recording positive or interesting things they're doing, and some are. But we have to ask ourselves why so many others are choosing destruction of property, violence, etc. as their way to seek attention - when there are other ways.

I am also older and on one SM site, but it has Groups/Pages I really enjoy and is the best way to stay in touch with certain people.

Kids have may have always craved more attention than parents were able to give, but most kids knew that beating the crap out of someone wasn't the way to get it. With social media, kids are appealing to total strangers and likes that come from Internet mob mentality. There's a big difference, IMO.

 

[doublestop]

To begin with, get the phones out of the schools. Hand them (n on arrival.

But most of the bullying via phone or social media takes place in the outside-of-school hours. I don't see how that helps.

 

[stmarysmead]

But most of the bullying via phone or social media takes place in the outside-of-school hours. I don't see how that helps.

Check out Tic Toc…even this latest case. The stuff is filmed at school…in the hallway, in the cafeteria. Then its uploaded and sent out and commented on at night.

We certainly want the children to have phones for emergencies. As posted, teachers often utilize them in school. But if there is lax supervision or no supervision, they are the very best accessory a bully can have.

It doesn’t even have to be physical. Imagine being video-ed eating alone every day in the cafeteria…ostracized…and then at night, the chorus joins in to say you stink, everyone hates you, you are toxic…they mock your clothes, your face, the food you selected. And this goes on daily…for weeks.

TO A CHILD!

And if some kind soul befriends that child, they become a target too.

Is that as scary as a school shooter? No. But it can destroy a vulnerable child. Or inflict anxiety, hurt that lasts for life.Especially if the parent has no option to move that child. And if the teachers know that they get no support, so they shut the door. And the administeation just says…”Oh, just ignore them.” The burden is put squarely on the bullied child and her family to deal,with victimization that is occuring at school….where the child is trapped by law to attend.

.

 

[Cryptic]

Then there is the principal. The fact that the bullies were allegedly not ‘first offenders”, her silly suspensions are a joke to all involved.

They probably are a joke to all.

But, I doubt the principal means it to be silly. Rather, that might be the most that she can do. Many districts have "alternative schools" for expelled students (it is legally very difficult to truly expel a public school student).

But... if the alternative school is filled, there can be a very high threshold required to get somebody placed there. Then, there is the issue of students coming back from the alternative school with even higher maintenance needs.

And... even if the alternative school has room, actually getting them there can be administratively hard. Kids have rights- a lot of rights.

These rights can include the right to an administrative process prior to getting sent to an alternative school. Anyways, some parents can become pretty good "school house" lawyers by challenging evidence, requesting delays, making appeals etc. This goes double if they hire a full lawyer. Booting the student to the alternative school then gets that much harder.

 

[stmarysmead]

…

They probably are a joke to all.

But, I doubt the principal means it to be silly. Rather, that might be the most that she can do. Many districts have "alternative schools" for expelled students (it is legally very difficult to truly expel a public school student).

But... if the alternative school is filled, there can be a very high threshold required to get somebody placed there. Then, there is the issue of students coming back from the alternative school with even higher maintenance needs.

And... even if the alternative school has room, actually getting them there can be administratively hard. Kids have rights- a lot of rights.

These rights can include the right to an administrative process prior to getting sent to an alternative school. Anyways, some parents can become pretty good "school house" lawyers by challenging evidence, requesting delays, making appeals etc. This goes double if they hire a full lawyer. Booting the student to the alternative school then gets that much harder.

Thank you, Cryptic. What a tangled mess this all is.