Study:Women feel "cheap" and "used" after one night stands.

[southcitymom]

One night stand. It was great fun. Didn't see him for a good long time afterwards. Ran into each other. Hooked up again. Relationship ensued. Got married. Living happily ever after now.

We've kept the beginnings of our relationship to ourselves, but we laugh about it from time to time. "Hey, this was supposed to be a one night stand! What happened???"

That's so funny. One of my closest friends is happily married to and raising the 3 sons she bore with her ONS.:crazy: They laugh about it too.

 

[mkay882]

I desperately want to be funded for some of this non-sense-let's come up with some ideas and get a grant:
1.) Does the average human being put their pants on one leg at a time?
2.) Does chewing gum really lose it's flavor on the bed post over night?
3.) What causes traffic?

I'll bite.

What causes traffic?
a) Number of cars on the road.
2) Stop light signal timers.
3) Road conditions
4) Men drivers.

That'll be $4,000,000 please and thank you:woohoo:

 

[txsvicki]

I'd feel like I had a mental problem and not just cheap if I had one night stands regularly. I'd think that being drunk might usually be involved and a woman or man might regret even having the one night in the first place instead of just being able to choose while in the right mind.

 

[ember]

I had plenty of one-night stands in my misspent youth. I loathe the double-standard that calls women *advertiser censored* and men studs.

I never recall feeling cheap afterwards. I only complained of feeling "used" if I wanted the one night stand to be something other than a one night stand. It's all a matter of perspective, I guess!

As usual, I'm with you, SCM, on this one.
Having had a pretty colorful youth myself, I can only say that if I was getting something out of it too, then how could I feel cheap and used?!
Never understood that. I mean, come on...it's a one night stand!
If you have visions of love from being easy then, imo, your basis for the sex is all wrong! Guys *bleep* girls like that but usually don't take them home to mama.
A one night stand is all about being cheap and used. That's what I loved about them. I could satisfy my danger seeking side without any attachment later. Sometimes a girl just needs naughty (protected!) semi-stranger sex.
It is what it is.

Silly study.
Never heard anyone say "That was one classy one night stand"...but we women should not have to be the ones who feel cheap and used!
Turn it around on those guys! Make them feel cheap and used! Just adds to the wreckless fun, imo and men shouldn't get to have it all.

 

[ember]

One night stand. It was great fun. Didn't see him for a good long time afterwards. Ran into each other. Hooked up again. Relationship ensued. Got married. Living happily ever after now.

We've kept the beginnings of our relationship to ourselves, but we laugh about it from time to time. "Hey, this was supposed to be a one night stand! What happened???"

That is exactly what happened with my husband and I.
We slept together when I was 18. I knew him but not well.
I knew all of my one nighters just maybe some of them not too well, anyway....
We didn't see each other for 10 years, ran into each other, started seeing each other and now we're happliy married.

We still joke about it too. Life is funny.

In all honesty, I think one of things he found attractive about me for so long was that I was a ONS who knew how to go away. I didn't become a stalker like some girls do and I didn't play the "You used me!" victim.
I was like, "that was fun. see ya!"

The moral of the story....some guys like cheap, lol

Lucky us!

 

[Marthatex]

This is the best part:

"Promiscuity does offer advantages for women from an evolutionary perspective....flings provide women with the potential to "snag" the best genes for offspring"....

Thank you , thank you, researchers of Florida Atlantic University. (???) Obviously the MALE authors must have had a special interest in these results.

I'll be letting my daughter know about this sooner if not later....

 

[Karole28]

Hello, I'm with the Department of Things We Already Know and we have a few questions for you.

 

[Malapoo]

I'm gearing up for a study that will go on forever:

Why?

 

[kato]

I sure would think so.

 

[kline]

Easy fix: Stop having one night stands.
Feeling cheap and used is one thing so is catching an STD or ending up as the newest addition to the'Unidentified' forum.

 

[AlwaysShocked]

I think some of you here are assuming that a One Night Stand means that it was sex with a stranger. That is not necessarily the case at all. A One Night Stand can take place with someone whom you have known - in my case, it was someone whom I had known for several years. In my opinion, what makes it a One Night Stand is that there is no intention to start a "relationship" - it is looked at as a one time event.

 

[OneLostGrl]

Ahhh one night stands...

They make one feel so many things, most of those things we don't even realize.. they are internalized and hidden and numbed down into nothingness.

I felt loved in the process.. while it was happening I could pretend I felt something, that he (or once or twice or three times maybe, She) felt something too. Sex is dizzying, intoxicating and for me, like so many other things, was addictive.

For years I mistook the feelings I got from having sex with someone for falling in love. I became addicted with "falling in love" and ran around having as many "one night stands" as my body could stand because I needed what they made me feel. It was the only time I actually *felt* anything real.

Obviously though, none of this was real and I was a very sick girl.

 

[Parmenides]

I hope I can comment even though I'm male.

This is actually a serious matter, bearing on the whole question of date rape. When date rape type cases collapse in court, it often seems to be that, while the woman was willing during the act itself, the man acted in a callous way after the ONS, e.g. jumping out of bed and going to join his mates in the pub. The woman then feels she's been used and it turns into an accusation of rape. The case collapses because what is important from the law's perspective is what was going on during the act, not how the man acted afterwards. I'm not saying all or even the majority of date rape cases are of this kind - most may be true rape, involving coercion. I'm only talking about a certain category of date rape cases, which nevertheless crop up quite regularly.

As a man, I would recommend that males avoid ONS altogether, since the danger of this kind of difference in male and female attitudes causing you to be accused of rape is just not worth it.

 

[absinthe]

I hope I can comment even though I'm male.

This is actually a serious matter, bearing on the whole question of date rape. When date rape type cases collapse in court, it often seems to be that, while the woman was willing during the act itself, the man acted in a callous way after the ONS, e.g. jumping out of bed and going to join his mates in the pub. The woman then feels she's been used and it turns into an accusation of rape. The case collapses because what is important from the law's perspective is what was going on during the act, not how the man acted afterwards. I'm not saying all or even the majority of date rape cases are of this kind - most may be true rape, involving coercion. I'm only talking about a certain category of date rape cases, which nevertheless crop up quite regularly.

As a man, I would recommend that males avoid ONS altogether, since the danger of this kind of difference in male and female attitudes causing you to be accused of rape is just not worth it.

I bet in most date rape cases, the woman was wearing a short skirt and asking for it, too.

 

[Ciara]

Of course you can comment Parmenides. All opinions Welcome
There is truth in what you have said too sadly.

 

[pedinurse]

I had plenty of one-night stands in my misspent youth. I loathe the double-standard that calls women *advertiser censored* and men studs.

I never recall feeling cheap afterwards. I only complained of feeling "used" if I wanted the one night stand to be something other than a one night stand. It's all a matter of perspective, I guess!

THIS is exactly true!!
not every woman is out for a relationship... or even anything more than one night! lol!

 

[pedinurse]

I hope I can comment even though I'm male.

This is actually a serious matter, bearing on the whole question of date rape. When date rape type cases collapse in court, it often seems to be that, while the woman was willing during the act itself, the man acted in a callous way after the ONS, e.g. jumping out of bed and going to join his mates in the pub. The woman then feels she's been used and it turns into an accusation of rape. The case collapses because what is important from the law's perspective is what was going on during the act, not how the man acted afterwards. I'm not saying all or even the majority of date rape cases are of this kind - most may be true rape, involving coercion. I'm only talking about a certain category of date rape cases, which nevertheless crop up quite regularly.

As a man, I would recommend that males avoid ONS altogether, since the danger of this kind of difference in male and female attitudes causing you to be accused of rape is just not worth it.

you can say whatever you want honey, doesn't mean i agree with you.



i just don't think that the above is the case because women just don't throw around the term or accusation of "rape" (even though defence lawyers, i guess, would want you to think differently) - a rape case is a huge deal and i SERIOUSLY doubt that anyone would go through that sort of - stress just to get back and some dude she knew for 12 hours!?!?! please!

 

[pedinurse]

This is the best part:

"Promiscuity does offer advantages for women from an evolutionary perspective....flings provide women with the potential to "snag" the best genes for offspring"....

Thank you , thank you, researchers of Florida Atlantic University. (???) Obviously the MALE authors must have had a special interest in these results.

I'll be letting my daughter know about this sooner if not later....

ok, your post made me giggle... lol

that must have been what those ladies on maury were doing with the hundred potiental "baby daddys", huh?

 

[KansasCutie]

Women SHOULD feel cheap and used but so should the men.

I think one night stands are disgusting and trashy. I've never had one and never will.

 

[Marthatex]

I hope I can comment even though I'm male.

This is actually a serious matter, bearing on the whole question of date rape. When date rape type cases collapse in court, it often seems to be that, while the woman was willing during the act itself, the man acted in a callous way after the ONS, e.g. jumping out of bed and going to join his mates in the pub. The woman then feels she's been used and it turns into an accusation of rape. The case collapses because what is important from the law's perspective is what was going on during the act, not how the man acted afterwards. I'm not saying all or even the majority of date rape cases are of this kind - most may be true rape, involving coercion. I'm only talking about a certain category of date rape cases, which nevertheless crop up quite regularly.

As a man, I would recommend that males avoid ONS altogether, since the danger of this kind of difference in male and female attitudes causing you to be accused of rape is just not worth it.

Good points!!