Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, age 11, commits suicide

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We weren't discussing this subject, but one of the men that I work with commented that his son had been kicked out of school. His son is about eight or nine. He was kicked out for telling the teacher that he would rather be dead than go to school. He's a smart kid, sweet and likable. His son is being required to see a psychiatrist and have that doctor write a letter before he can return to school.

I wouldn't be surprised if there isn't bullying involved. He's just the type of kid that bullies would attack. Smart, shy, respectful.
 
Its so sad. All these schools brag about having this zero tolerance policies in affect, and I know its not true. This is something that just proves it.

How sad must this little boy have been? Its heartbreaking.
 
Were all three previous cases in Illinois? All three of those are cities in Illinois and I am a stone's throw from Chatham. I know a lot of those kids.
 
txsvicki said:
I can't imagine any adult or teacher putting up with working for most of their day with others who called them fat or bullied them. Adults wouldn't be able to tolerate that daily but some children are expected to. Once children start school they spend the majority of their lives there and with all those people for years. It should be a learning experience and not a lesson in sadism.
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txvicki! This post gets my vote for "post of the week"!!:clap::clap::clap:
 
I have worked with a few kids that tolerated bullying daily to the extent a lot of people would not believe. It is so sad. And then people wonder why we end up with a Columbine situation.
 
I just now saw this and can't stop crying. Oh my gosh. Well, for a few weeks now, my 15 y/o son has been involved in a few incidents at school. About a month ago, one of his "friends" said something like "Your mom has the nicest rack I've ever seen" - my son punched him in the face & the boy apologized...no teachers were told. About a week later, another kid said something out of line & my boy threatened him - teacher told and nothing happened. Then last week, this same friggin' kid said something about me again and my son hit him in the face with a book - my boy got kicked out of class b/c he's the one that took it to a physical level and the other boy continued to sit in class until I told our VP exactly how I felt & proceeded to threaten them with a lawyer. The other boy was brought down to the office, apologized, and they both got an afterschool detention. They both got the same flippin' detention - unreal! My boy didn't start it! Plus, I believe I'm owed an apology! I don't give a $h!t if it's a 15 y/o or a 50 y/o saying such disparaging remarks, it's illegal and should not be tolerated! The VP completely disagrees with me. While sometimes it might seem nice to be the "cool" mom, this is blatant sexual harassment - but the school disagrees with me - that's a fact! They told me this is how 15 y/o boys are...keep in mind kids are put on the Sex Offender Registry for texting now...but this isn't sexual harassment & it's considered normal? OMG - puhlease!

I think the school should get sued - plain and simple. No, it's not about money...but something needs to be done to hold these stupid a$$ school officials more responsible. IMO, teachers cater to certain kids, and cover for them, therefore adding to the bullying effect. It's sick!

This poor, dear, wonderful little Carl - I sure hope his family finds peace someday. God be with them. I'm so very very sad now. All I can think about is what my very own son has been going through in school this year. He always got good grades, has never done drugs or hung out with "bad" kids, been athletic - now it seems like he's giving up and becoming computer & Xbox Live addicted. OMGosh, OMGosh, OMGosh...so sad...
 
Jersey Girl - You can press sexual harassment charges. I did but luckily the school is the entity that cooperated and brought the police and I together. I think I would call someone at the district level and bring this to light. Tell them you are pursuing charges.

Sexual harassment is not that closely defined. If a kid is making comments about any part of the body and it makes anybody uncomfortable then it is considered sexual harassment.

:crazy: My daughter chased a boy into the boys restroom and had to be pulled off by two coaches. :eek: :crazy:
 
pb6656 said:
Jersey Girl - You can press sexual harassment charges. I did but luckily the school is the entity that cooperated and brought the police and I together. I think I would call someone at the district level and bring this to light. Tell them you are pursuing charges.

Sexual harassment is not that closely defined. If a kid is making comments about any part of the body and it makes anybody uncomfortable then it is considered sexual harassment.

:crazy: My daughter chased a boy into the boys restroom and had to be pulled off by two coaches. :eek: :crazy:
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Oh, there's more, so much more! My son was also kneed inbetween his legs a couple of years ago - in school. He had to have surgery. We had to speak with the urologist about freezing his sperm in case the operation wasn't 100% successful. What happened was he and his buddies got out of class and one of them pushed my boy into a girl that was walking in front of them. She dropped her books, but it wasn't my son's fault. She didn't even look at his face, she immediately grabbed his shoulders and kneed him as hard as she could. Then she couldn't apologize enough when she realized it was my son, b/c they'd been friends for many years! Some friend! I didn't find out about it until almost 10:00 at night b/c he didn't want to miss his best friend's b'day party. His cajones were the size of grapefruits - NO EXAGGERATION! We were in surgery overnight - and the urologist happened to be the specialist in charge of his department at A.I. Hospital in Delaware - so my son was extremely lucky. There will be no repercussions, he's 100% perfect in that area now - but still...just think about it! We didn't sue, the school pulled the video, made adjustments to video cameras in hallways, spoke with all gym classes & health classes, paid for all hospital fees, etc... But I'm starting to see the ripple effect now. One of my son's friends said something about his "balls" when their teacher was drawing something on the chalkboard. My son told him to shut up, it ain't funny. They started to laugh. Then the teacher asked what's so funny. They said nothing. The kid said something again & my son yelled at him to shut up. The teacher kicked him out. This was the very first time my boy has been told to leave a classroom. He even told the teacher what the kid said - another boy told him what the kids said & even repeated "balls". The teacher told my son he had to leave b/c my boy said the kid was talking about his "balls" out loud. Well, the other boy repeated it to the teacher but he never got kicked out. Unbelievable. The reason is b/c this teacher is their wrestling coach. The boy involved is the wrestling superstar. He happens to be one of my son's best friends that he's no longer allowed to hang out with. The school caters to him. He's the one that was talking about my "rack". He is allowed to leave lunch and go have lunch with this same teacher while he's teaching class...but nobody else is excused from lunch? Puhlease. Seriously, schools cater to athletic superstars, that's a fact, and I'd bet that Carl's bullies were somewhat popular or the school would have done something sooner. My son is gorgeous, I might be biased, but he's a beautiful kid...yet he thinks he's ugly, is now lacking self esteem, and I'm seriously considering a psychologist. This all started this year - the peer pressure. BTW - this wrestling superstar was just caught at a party drunk. The cop that busted the party let him go. 9th grade & the f'n cop didn't even talk to his parents! Unbelievable. I guess I should be greatful my boy doesn't go to parties yet! I absolutely need to logoff b/c I seriously can't stop thinking of this now. I can;t stop crying, and this thread is about Carl, not my son. Bullying is so utterly sad. What the heck is wrong with people - seriously? I personally believe all should be held accountable!
 
I put a lot of the blame of bullying on the parents of the bully. Certainly these children didn't wake up one day at 11 and 12 years old and decide to be a bully. They probably grew up that way, and their parents were either too tired or too ignorant to put a stop to it,

I was bullied as a child, and I don't let my children bully. They know better.

We don't let bullying occur in the workplace -- look at all the harrasment lawsuits. Why should our children (who cannot protect themselves in most cases) be any less protected?

All of this, of course, is merely my opinion.
 
I think sometimes kids bully because they're jealous of their victim. Carl was a football player. I wonder if the kids that bullied him played sports?

Jersey*Girl, I'm sorry what you and your son are going through. My son got punched in the face during gym class one year in jr. high school. As far as I know nothing was done to the kid because he was a "special education" student. I talked with the principal until I was blue in the face. After a while I just gave up (I know I shouldn't). My son was shy, a good student and a nice looking kid. After those years he thought he was ugly, no one liked him, etc. It's verbal and emotional ABUSE and should be treated that way.
 
oh_gal said:
I put a lot of the blame of bullying on the parents of the bully. Certainly these children didn't wake up one day at 11 and 12 years old and decide to be a bully. They probably grew up that way, and their parents were either too tired or too ignorant to put a stop to it,

I was bullied as a child, and I don't let my children bully. They know better.

We don't let bullying occur in the workplace -- look at all the harrasment lawsuits. Why should our children (who cannot protect themselves in most cases) be any less protected?

All of this, of course, is merely my opinion.
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completely agree
 
Schools do cater to stars. Probably the only reason my daughter didn't get kicked out when she beat up the boy in the school restroom. Her brothers are 8 and 10 years older than her. Ex coaches of both of theirs. They excelled both academically and athletically.

Luckily they were only catered to a certain extent. They did not play basketball which would have made them God. However the eldest's football ability gave him a lot of extra attention. Luckily, he also was able to score a 34 on his ACT and graduated number 2 in his class. Due to working concessions all the time I talked to a lot of students. He never belittled anybody and it amazed me the kids who would approach just as comfortable as they could be and give him the biz. He kidded right back. Girls even told me how nice he was because he didn't cuss like the other boys did.

My daughter struggled due to being a much slower learner. She also took a lot of bull because of the size of her chest. This is what started the harrassment. She was very well developed. We are currently looking into a reduction at 16.

When this kid grabbed her butt was it. He was also a cousin of a kid the brothers had played ball with. Uh-oh! I had to watch that. Luckily her brothers are reasonable.

The police handled it and the kid has to watch every move he makes.

Go to the district. Then go to the state board if you have to. Your son doesn't deserve this.
 
pb6656 said:
Schools do cater to stars. Probably the only reason my daughter didn't get kicked out when she beat up the boy in the school restroom. Her brothers are 8 and 10 years older than her. Ex coaches of both of theirs. They excelled both academically and athletically.

Luckily they were only catered to a certain extent. They did not play basketball which would have made them God. However the eldest's football ability gave him a lot of extra attention. Luckily, he also was able to score a 34 on his ACT and graduated number 2 in his class. Due to working concessions all the time I talked to a lot of students. He never belittled anybody and it amazed me the kids who would approach just as comfortable as they could be and give him the biz. He kidded right back. Girls even told me how nice he was because he didn't cuss like the other boys did.

My daughter struggled due to being a much slower learner. She also took a lot of bull because of the size of her chest. This is what started the harrassment. She was very well developed. We are currently looking into a reduction at 16.

When this kid grabbed her butt was it. He was also a cousin of a kid the brothers had played ball with. Uh-oh! I had to watch that. Luckily her brothers are reasonable.

The police handled it and the kid has to watch every move he makes.

Go to the district. Then go to the state board if you have to. Your son doesn't deserve this.
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The saddest of all is that I immediately felt like I had to "explain" myself. I'm 34C in Bali bras, 34D in anything else. That's personal info that I just posted on a forum! It shouldn't matter if I'm flatchested or have udders than hang lower than a cows - sexual harassment is just that - harassment, and it shouldn't be tolerated. I will go to our school board. I shouldn't have felt it necessary to have to stick up for myself. This situation should have been taken care of in a different way, imho. I might even record my conversation with our district office & back it up with a certified letter. I might not be able to do anything to help Carl's family right now, but I can sure do something about my situation...especially in light of what this little boy had to endure. My son is worth it.
 
Our experience with bullying in the public schools were minimal. I can say that we approached the principal in all cases and it seemed as though our appeal wasn't strong enough as she was more prone to pay attention to the parent of the bullyer. I guess as parents if we don't bully everyone in administration, many choose not to hear the plight of our children?

I don't know what the answers are to solve the problem but it's apparent it's a very big problem when a child commits suicide.

Carl, may you rest in peace and here on earth, many will rally behind your mother to stop this from happening again.
 
Jersey*Girl said:
The saddest of all is that I immediately felt like I had to "explain" myself. I'm 34C in Bali bras, 34D in anything else. That's personal info that I just posted on a forum! It shouldn't matter if I'm flatchested or have udders than hang lower than a cows - sexual harassment is just that - harassment, and it shouldn't be tolerated. I will go to our school board. I shouldn't have felt it necessary to have to stick up for myself. This situation should have been taken care of in a different way, imho. I might even record my conversation with our district office & back it up with a certified letter. I might not be able to do anything to help Carl's family right now, but I can sure do something about my situation...especially in light of what this little boy had to endure. My son is worth it.
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Def the certified letter - my school even used that when communcating with me. I give them all the credit in the world.
 
What a terrible of waste of this young boys life. The school you attend can have such a huge effect on your memories of high school - actually the people you are put there with more than the school itself of course.

My first three years at high school were almost unbearable. I dreaded school the next day from the moment I got home from being there and it was a continuous cycle of worry and dread. I was then lucky enough to move house and subsequently school and things literally changed for me overnight and I can now look back on my last 2 years there happily.

Calling someone 'gay' these days is usually an insult barely even connected with their sexuality. My son was called it by a boy last month when he picked up some felt tip pens that had dropped out of a girls pencil case!
 
I think that the problem is that a lot of teachers and principals still have that "boys will be boys" mentality. They don't realize how detrimental it can be to a child's self-esteem. As a mother who has fought with the school system about bullying, I understand how hard it is to get them to listen. My heart breaks for this little boy and his family and friends. May he rest in peace. I hope that the school will take bullying/teasing more seriously from now on.
 
As I read this and felt so sad for such a young child to not be able to see a future I wonder how we got here.

I don't remember bullying being an issue when I was in school - there was some standard joking around and yes the "your mom ...." comments have always been around but there wasn't the malicious intent children now seem to feel. I just have to wonder how it got to this point?

I have coached kids sports for years and I sometimes ask myself if we (the adults) have created this problem. When I was in school - we had tracks 1, 2 and 3 - 1 was the advanced, everyone knew that. When my 21 yr old nephew - they were colors - somehow the school felt people wouldn't know which was the advanced and which was the slow color? And now with sports, awards were given to the top players and the top teams - we are now pushed to make sure EVERYONE gets an award of some sort.

Is it possible that in our efforts as a societ to see everyone treated fairly we have put more of a spotlight on the bullying - making it seem much bigger and insurmountable to today's youth?
 
Gracenote said:
I can't believe those administrators and their stupidity. I am glad your son has you to back him up. When my mother called the school because I was being tormented daily she was told "Oh, well, an overweight child will always be picked on." I can't tell you how often I contemplated suicide at the thought of having to go to school the next day. Instead I ended up in the hospital with bleeding ulcers. I think bullying should be considered assault and bullies should be taken in front of a tribunal and dealt with. It is a brutal thing to do to a child. I still get upset thinking about it and it has been 30 years.
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Hugs to you, Grace. I was called "Moose" in school, for the better part of a decade.
 
I think that it stays with those that are truly bullied. Even if you become successful you still hear in the back of your mind, "you're gay, you're stupid, you're ugly, you're fat, etc."

There definitely needs to be something done about it. It's gone on way too long without being taken seriously.
 
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