On a normal day? Yes. Prefaced by the loss of a child? Least of my concerns. Couldn't care less. You would have to scrape me off of the floor.
FL - Mom tweets while son drowns
- Thread starter LadyL
- Start date
On a normal day? Yes. Prefaced by the loss of a child? Least of my concerns. Couldn't care less. You would have to scrape me off of the floor.
I'm not going to weigh in on what kind of mother she is, but I'm with mycroft.
Posting about your life on the internet can be a double-edged sword. Along with the fans, followers, adoration, and positive attention that one gets from talking about every aspect of their personal life to 100's, even 1000's of strangers, they must also be prepared to receive negative attention, disdain, and even hate.
She was fine with tweeting/blogging about her life until it came back to bite her in the rump...and by biting her in the rump, I'm speaking of the bad media attention and hate messages that she's gotten.
Posting about your life on the internet can be a double-edged sword. Along with the fans, followers, adoration, and positive attention that one gets from talking about every aspect of their personal life to 100's, even 1000's of strangers, they must also be prepared to receive negative attention, disdain, and even hate.
She was fine with tweeting/blogging about her life until it came back to bite her in the rump...and by biting her in the rump, I'm speaking of the bad media attention and hate messages that she's gotten.
This is a tough one. I'm not a tweeter or texter, so I don't really get all that. However, I do spend a LOT of time on this MB. If anything happened to my son (god forbid) would I post it here? Yah, probably. Does that make me a bad mother - I would hope not.
We all, as parents, have to realize there is a time and place for our personal entertainment (which I believe this is). If you look at my posts, they are during the day (when son is at school) or late at night (after bed). This morning he's at a sleep-over, so I have a bit of luxury time.
Our children should always come first, and if she was pre-occupied while her son slipped in the pool, then she'll have to deal with that for the rest of her life. Since I do not know, nor was I there, I really can't judge.
Mel
We all, as parents, have to realize there is a time and place for our personal entertainment (which I believe this is). If you look at my posts, they are during the day (when son is at school) or late at night (after bed). This morning he's at a sleep-over, so I have a bit of luxury time.
Our children should always come first, and if she was pre-occupied while her son slipped in the pool, then she'll have to deal with that for the rest of her life. Since I do not know, nor was I there, I really can't judge.
Mel
oceanblueeyes
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2004
- Messages
- 26,446
- Reaction score
- 43,689
I have to agree. To say I was an overprotective mother while our children were growing up would be a huge understatement but no human being can watch their child 24/7. It only takes seconds or minutes for something to happen. Thank God my children's little mishaps of scraped knees, bruises etc. were not serious but they could have been because I could not watch them every second of the day.
More children lose their lives to bicycle accidents than pool drowning and just because the parent didn't run along side chained to the bicycle with the child doesn't make them inept parents. Children lose their lives through vehicle accidents far more often so where does the blame stop? Are we saying because there is a chance that a young child may be killed we are to stop driving children around or buying them bikes?
I think it is only logical in todays time that both men and women multi task and it doesn't take but a minute or two for an accident like this to happen and imo it is a tragic accident that this mother will never get over imo.
imo
Kymistry35
It's never to late to be who you could have been
southcitymom
Well-Known Member
Well yes, of course - when you ask others to pray for you (as we do here often), you are certainly seeking their attention!
I'm sure this woman feels as close and connected to her friends on Twitter as I do to mine here or on Facebook.
angelmom
The love stays...forever in our hearts
I was babysitting my younger brother at 11 as well, plus regularly sitting for a neighbor's infant. I even gave him a bath once.
As a mother now I think that woman was crazy to leave me with him, but this mom just let her older one take the baby into the back yard to play, believing the gate was locked.
As far as being pissed off by reporters, I believe I'd care. Being angry is a very normal grief reaction. When I was in the hospital with the loss of my second child I saw the doctor who had treated me (badly) the first time and I had to be held back from confronting him right then and there. I was so hurt and angry that I was ready to lash out at anyone who gave me the slightest excuse.
And when my friend's brother was hit by a car, we had to break up a fight between relatives in the waiting room. Over the dumbest thing, but the emotions are so high.
If someone had come onto my property and taken pictures, I would have been using some restraint to stick to the paintball gun and not the Red Rider.
LogicalMinds
Former Member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2009
- Messages
- 1,533
- Reaction score
- 46
Drowning is the number one cause of death for tots in Florida..
it is ridiculous...we have some laws on newer houses that require child proofing...but older houses are grandfathered in
we have seen this way too often...the sad circling helicoper shots of a pool of death
it seems to often happen when a family moves into a home
sorry but she was negligent or the child would not have drowned
I don't even see why parents buy a home with a pool when they have such little kids
it happens way too often
it is ridiculous...we have some laws on newer houses that require child proofing...but older houses are grandfathered in
we have seen this way too often...the sad circling helicoper shots of a pool of death
it seems to often happen when a family moves into a home
sorry but she was negligent or the child would not have drowned
I don't even see why parents buy a home with a pool when they have such little kids
it happens way too often
Boytwnmom
Verified Attorney
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2008
- Messages
- 1,652
- Reaction score
- 297
went to look at her site blog4mom and saw it's basically a poorly written marketing scheme. She wasn't "talking" to friends-she was hawking products, giveaways, etc. Apparently, this is big, praising products to get freebies, offering giveaways to attract traffic to your site etc.
I didn't see any evidence of real social interaction, more trying to get free stuff and attend conferences. I found this description which kind of sums it up:
"She was a total marketer...and very entrenched in the Twitter/Social Media club...between June and December, she attended social/networking meetups in Disney, for General Motors, for Type A Moms, and Blogher - some lasting up to 5 days - they were all traveling trips and didn't include her family.
She often had "give aways" of $500.00 Walmart cards in order to attract traffic to her site, but if you read her Twitter line, she never mentioned the winner.
She often praised merchandise looking for freebies - which she often got: Eye fi, Crocs, HP, Kuru Footwear and assorted others.
Mrs. Ross even had links with "how to make money using Twitter."
Yes Sir - she did everything one is supposed to do to get noticed in Twitter Land, communicate often and engage people in conversations - do "giveaways" to attract more people, mention companies that you like often enough, and they will send you freebies, she had one Tweet that said, "I've tweeted so much, my API has failed!"
This is not to say I blame her. But to me it's not a question of twitterering. To me, the twitter stuff was a job and like any other working mother you need to have someone take care of your children while you work. I have twins so I know I couldn't work and watch them while they were young. I worked at home two days a week and always had a sitter with me at the house to make sure they were always watched. To me, she was working and only she knows if she was able to work and watch her young child at the same time.
I didn't see any evidence of real social interaction, more trying to get free stuff and attend conferences. I found this description which kind of sums it up:
"She was a total marketer...and very entrenched in the Twitter/Social Media club...between June and December, she attended social/networking meetups in Disney, for General Motors, for Type A Moms, and Blogher - some lasting up to 5 days - they were all traveling trips and didn't include her family.
She often had "give aways" of $500.00 Walmart cards in order to attract traffic to her site, but if you read her Twitter line, she never mentioned the winner.
She often praised merchandise looking for freebies - which she often got: Eye fi, Crocs, HP, Kuru Footwear and assorted others.
Mrs. Ross even had links with "how to make money using Twitter."
Yes Sir - she did everything one is supposed to do to get noticed in Twitter Land, communicate often and engage people in conversations - do "giveaways" to attract more people, mention companies that you like often enough, and they will send you freebies, she had one Tweet that said, "I've tweeted so much, my API has failed!"
This is not to say I blame her. But to me it's not a question of twitterering. To me, the twitter stuff was a job and like any other working mother you need to have someone take care of your children while you work. I have twins so I know I couldn't work and watch them while they were young. I worked at home two days a week and always had a sitter with me at the house to make sure they were always watched. To me, she was working and only she knows if she was able to work and watch her young child at the same time.
southcitymom
Well-Known Member
Personally, Twitter bores me to tears and the only usefull thing I see it for is marketing. But even though I know lots of folks who use Twitter for marketing, they do indeed, over time, become close to their network.
I don't believe her job and/or her tweeting is the reason she now has to bury a child.
Brwnigirl
Former Member
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2009
- Messages
- 11,218
- Reaction score
- 5
Firstly, LA I am sorry for the loss of your child. I had to respond because I also don't think you are being heartless at all (as you stated in a later post). I think you made excellent points here. Good for the group who busted the poster on her seemingly addictive behavior, I hope she was able to hear it and changed for the sake of her young children.
I don't know what this mother of the child who drowned was doing and my heart goes out to her for the loss of her child. I am not going to directly accuse her of anything as I don't know all the details and I am not the one conducting the investigation.
However, every day, I deal with the aftermath of parents/caregivers not taking proper care of their children and it is absolutely heartbreaking how many accidents happen.
You cannot rely on older children to be the sole supervisor of your smaller child, they will take off, they will leave gates open, they will get distracted.
Kymistry35
It's never to late to be who you could have been
Many of us ask for prayers but I doubt I would be doing that while my son was being prn dead. If my son had only died minutes before, I would be beside myself with so much grief that a computer and my internet friends would be the farthest thing from my mind.
AmandaBrown23
Im just living among all the madness
- Joined
- May 15, 2007
- Messages
- 1,098
- Reaction score
- 35
I agree with everything you just said. I know we are all not perfect mothers and I dont doubt this is a horrible accident but I just cannot see myself posting anything anywhere right after my son died.
2goldfish
Active Member
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2008
- Messages
- 3,979
- Reaction score
- 51
I have been thinking about this one a lot since I first read it here yesterday. if the timeline an earlier poster posted is accurate, that adds more sadness to this situation. I still dont believe the fault lies with the mother, as she thought the gate was locked and that the other kids were watching and that will be what she beats herself up with for the rest of her life.
I mean doodling around on your phone when you think everything is all peachy is not a terrible thing...I do think as her kids were 11, 7, and 2 that I personally would be spending more time peeking at the kids than tweeting (not that I am a tweeter cause I got a toddler and I dont feel I have the time) but again, I am overprotective to the paranoid point.
this just grieves me cause it's such a terrible loss for anyone....I couldnt stand it, I truly couldnt, if all the newspapers in the world were saying these things about me....cause you know deep down she will blame herself for this whether she was on the phone or not
I mean doodling around on your phone when you think everything is all peachy is not a terrible thing...I do think as her kids were 11, 7, and 2 that I personally would be spending more time peeking at the kids than tweeting (not that I am a tweeter cause I got a toddler and I dont feel I have the time) but again, I am overprotective to the paranoid point.
this just grieves me cause it's such a terrible loss for anyone....I couldnt stand it, I truly couldnt, if all the newspapers in the world were saying these things about me....cause you know deep down she will blame herself for this whether she was on the phone or not
smart blonde
Websleuths Member
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2009
- Messages
- 6,870
- Reaction score
- 33
It is too late for this little boy, and regardless of whatever level of 'guilt' or 'innocence' on the part of his mother while supervising him, this whole family will be in my prayers. This will be an agonizing Christmas for yet another family, and that breaks my heart.
If this story brings better awareness to people regarding the hazards of children and pools, and causes parents to scrutinize their own level of supervision while their kids are near water- and saves other children from drowning- this child will not have died completely in vain.
But, what a hard 'lesson' for this mother, and this family.
If this story brings better awareness to people regarding the hazards of children and pools, and causes parents to scrutinize their own level of supervision while their kids are near water- and saves other children from drowning- this child will not have died completely in vain.
But, what a hard 'lesson' for this mother, and this family.
smart blonde
Websleuths Member
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2009
- Messages
- 6,870
- Reaction score
- 33
I can only speak for myself, but I think the title of the thread is fine. Once someone starts reading, they will learn the facts of this case, and make their own decision.
Thank you, LadyL, for sharing this story. It is heartbreaking, this needless, tragic loss- but, also a real eye-opener.
southcitymom
Well-Known Member
We know you meant no harm, LadyL. :blowkiss: I think only a Mod can change a title!
txsvicki
Active Member
I read that the other lady, Maggie I believe it was, who posted to others at first to make sure this wasn't a scam is getting bad threats, and was told by the grieving mom that she's heartless among other things. Twitter sounds like a horrible influence on some people. I don't understand the marketing aspect of the thing. Wouldn't it be better to have some real money for the work instead of trips and freebie stuff? I mean, if it takes up a person's whole day then how can it even be worth the time if a person has kids and a home to take care of.
southcitymom
Well-Known Member
I doubt most folks who Twitter spend any more time on it than I do on Facebook and/or Websleuths. (I say that with full knowledge that some folks would think I spend too much time on Facebook and/or Websleuths! :crazy
The reason Twitter is a good marketing source is because you can meet and become connected to many many people who you do not know (as opposed to Facebook which is folks you know). I have friends who have used Twitter business marketing tool and gotten terrific results - friends with all sorts of careers: attorneys, real estate, insurance, restaurants.... There are all sorts of sites out there that can teach you how to use it effectively if you have an interest.