8 Die in Crash on Taconic State Parkway #2

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Nova said:
News to me, but I'm very new to this case.

Could be true, but it's also the sort of thing people tell tabloids when they want some of the attention attracted by a famous case. She had two small children. I know we've established Dan as rather clueless, but would he really not notice that his wife was leaving little kids home alone at night?
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I'm new too and so damn confused.Nova,where do I even start?
 
LunaticFringe said:
I watched it this morning as it was on at 10:15.I don't know what to think.I can totally understand where family members cannot reconcile why this happened if this was not a normal pattern or typical behavior from a loved one.

My sister died in a single car accident on New Year's Day and her vitrious humor reading was 0.28.This was no surprise but I don't even know how she even turned the key in the jeep at that point but she did.I assume she had consumed it elsewhere as there was no bottles found in the jeep or at the crash site.

Diane seeking out pain medication makes me think that she was in pain...but she could have asked where the nearest place was to purchase some Tylenol or Ibuprofen.

Sorry for the rambling but I just don't think she did this intentionally unless I am missing something.Did she just start chugging Vodka and decide to fire it up?It's so bizarre.
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I am so sorry about your sister, LF. I really have no words.
 
and I actually never saw it anywhere else even in the tabloids which revel in the drunken, stoned Mom angle. You're right though, it especially doesn't make sense as he worked nights so she had to be at home...duh!



Nova said:
News to me, but I'm very new to this case.

Could be true, but it's also the sort of thing people tell tabloids when they want some of the attention attracted by a famous case. She had two small children. I know we've established Dan as rather clueless, but would he really not notice that his wife was leaving little kids home alone at night?
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Nova said:
I'm a noob myself, but New York magazine seems to have devoted a lot of attention to the case.

If you google "Diane Schuler" and "New York magazine" you'll get a number of articles. Here's a pretty comprehensive one that focuses on the husband's denial:

http://nymag.com/news/features/62043/
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Thank you Nova.Unfortunately I was someday expecting it.The Schuler family was not from what I saw.I guess that's why I know how they feel..yet I am on the other end of the spectrum.

I keep thinking about the children.You know the older ones were terrified.This is conflicting in many ways I guess.
 
LunaticFringe said:
Thank you Nova.Unfortunately I was someday expecting it.The Schuler family was not from what I saw.I guess that's why I know how they feel..yet I am on the other end of the spectrum.

I keep thinking about the children.You know the older ones were terrified.This is conflicting in many ways I guess.
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And even the younger ones must have sensed the terror of their older cousins, I'm sure. It's just a horror show all around.

But that New York link I gave you talks about Dan Schuler spending weeks sleeping in the hospital with his recovering son. (To be expected, of course, but that's the point: Dan has been portrayed as an utterly indifferent father.) It also talks about his sleepless nights, haunted by the loss of his wife and son, and the portrait of her in the press.

The posters here who insist on demonizing him (not you, LF) might do well to reread it.
 
person Jackie Hance sounds like?

I haven't read the Ladies Home Journal article but saw this on the NYT blog http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/07/13/losing-three-children-starting-again/which has excerpts from it. I was surprised that her marriage even had survived as so many don't after the death of even one child and, though irrational, some people would find some blame in it being the husband's sister. Some of the article was just so heart wrenching and I am so happy that she is pregnant as she sounds like she's a wonderful mother. I just so can't imagine her life.

When something like this happens, you want to be able to hate someone. When I see the misery in Warren’s eyes, I know what he’s thinking. It was his sister who did this, his sister who destroyed our lives. I can’t blame him for her actions. And since Diane’s not here, I can’t take out my anger, my confusion or my heartache on her. There’s no one left to hate. And anyway, we both loved her very much.
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She talks about how she used to love to cook for the girls:
The memory was so strong that after the accident I stopped cooking completely. Maybe someday I’ll be able to try again.
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I am so not a religious person but this anecdote about how she came to be pregnant was very moving. I guess she'd had her tubes tied after her daughters were born but a year after the deaths she did have some eggs harvested in case she wanted to do in vitro someday but that the thought of more children remained far from her mind.

I’d had a dream that I was standing in heaven and I could see Emma, Alyson and Katie through these big gates. God would not let me inside the gates. He said that I had been given a gift from that doctor and I had to use his gift before I could be with my babies. So, almost in a daze, I told the doctor I wanted to try to get pregnant, never expecting it to work.

I got pregnant the very first time.
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I wish her and her husband peace and happiness.
 
I am watching the show now...I just don't know what to think. Her being that drunk just doesn't make sense to me. My husband said that once when he had an absess tooth, the pain was so bad, he pulled into an Appleby's and drank 4-5 hosts of Crowne Royale in a row, so he said he thinks she took the vodka with her on purpose for that reason.

What is so awful, watching this, is so many people calling 911 and looking for her yet nothing could be done to stop the tragedy.
 
One thing in the documentary that added to the mystery was how other drivers described Diane as honking and tailgating for quite some time. And, as mentioned above, she was described as focused and deliberately changing lanes, not weaving. So, at some point she seemed angry, aggressive and determined to get past slower drivers. Then the couple that pulled over into the rest stop saw Diane (after she had tailgated them), and she looked like she might throw up. It seemed they kept their eye on her the same way most of us might stare down (if we dared in this day and age) someone who had cut us off or frightened us on the freeway. This all just doesn't sound like typical drunk driving, which usually involves weaving or staying stopped too long at red lights. It sounds like angry, aggressive driving. Yet, the toxicology reports show she was drunk. I guess I've just never heard of angry and aggressive drunk driving, so that's what's confusing me. For all I know, driving like that under the influence is commonplace. (I do remember a long time ago in traffic school being told that most wrong-way drivers are suicides. But I agree with you all that it seems improbable she was suicidal, or that she would do something like that with other children in the car.)
 
There are other times one can go to a bar besides at night. I know someone who was in very similiar domestic situation who stopped by after work reguarly for about an hour or more.( Husband worked at night etc)
 
cluciano63 said:
I am watching the show now...I just don't know what to think. Her being that drunk just doesn't make sense to me. My husband said that once when he had an absess tooth, the pain was so bad, he pulled into an Appleby's and drank 4-5 hosts of Crowne Royale in a row, so he said he thinks she took the vodka with her on purpose for that reason.

What is so awful, watching this, is so many people calling 911 and looking for her yet nothing could be done to stop the tragedy.
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You know, it didn't occur to me to drink when I had an abscessed tooth, but I swear I seriously considered taking out the tooth myself with a pair of pliers. It was really that bad.

I don't know that that's what happened to Diane Schuler, but I can imagine that IF she chose to dull the pain with alcohol, she may have quickly lost track of how much she had consumed. (This does not excuse her, BTW.)
 
Saffron said:
One thing in the documentary that added to the mystery was how other drivers described Diane as honking and tailgating for quite some time. And, as mentioned above, she was described as focused and deliberately changing lanes, not weaving. So, at some point she seemed angry, aggressive and determined to get past slower drivers. Then the couple that pulled over into the rest stop saw Diane (after she had tailgated them), and she looked like she might throw up. It seemed they kept their eye on her the same way most of us might stare down (if we dared in this day and age) someone who had cut us off or frightened us on the freeway. This all just doesn't sound like typical drunk driving, which usually involves weaving or staying stopped too long at red lights. It sounds like angry, aggressive driving. Yet, the toxicology reports show she was drunk. I guess I've just never heard of angry and aggressive drunk driving, so that's what's confusing me. For all I know, driving like that under the influence is commonplace. (I do remember a long time ago in traffic school being told that most wrong-way drivers are suicides. But I agree with you all that it seems improbable she was suicidal, or that she would do something like that with other children in the car.)
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Good point.

Might it be consistent with a driver who was in terrible pain and desperate to get home to her painkillers, who drank a lot quickly to dull the pain and then became very drunk rather suddenly?

(I'm not suggesting we can accurately diagnose her from afar based on witness reports, but aggressive driving by someone in pain makes sense to me.)
 
Nova said:
Good point.

Might it be consistent with a driver who was in terrible pain and desperate to get home to her painkillers, who drank a lot quickly to dull the pain and then became very drunk rather suddenly?

(I'm not suggesting we can accurately diagnose her from afar based on witness reports, but aggressive driving by someone in pain makes sense to me.)
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Good point too-

If she was desperate to get home to her painpills, why did a one hour drive, a route that she had driven for years, on that day, take her over four hours - which, at the four hour point, she was no where near where she should have been?

Why, when she pulled over to throw up - does she not say to anyone at the rest stop, I'm sick, I have a car full of kids, and I can longer drive?

If she medicated herself with a alcohol to numb her pain, she was still functioning well enough at this point to deliberately exit the highway, and pull into a rest stop to throw up. That is thought and understanding to me. Someone could suggest she did not say anything to anyone at the rest stop or her family because she was drunk and did not want to get caught, which, if that is true, would be another example of her comprehending the situation and not being in a stupor.

Imagine if she just told her niece to call her folks, have them come to the rest stop and get them, and just walked away from the van and disappeared for a few hours. If that had happened, these children, along with DS's three other innocent victims would have been saved. I think its more than likely that DS got back in that van for some reason, perhaps only known to her, and did the unthinkable.
 
The sad reality to this situation is that there is never going to be an "aha"moment when finally everyone understands why she did what she did. I say "never" but I suppose it's possible that one day the sole survivor might remember more and be able to shed some light on what happened in that van, but unless that happens, we will forever be in the dark about the whole thing.

I think I have pretty much settled on the theory that she was closet-drinking that morning, probably similar to what she did at home on a regular basis. She put a healthy dose of voda in her drink at McDonalds, probably smoked pot there while the kids were playing, and while she probably just meant to get buzzed, take the edge off, she passed into complete drunkenness before she knew it. I think she tossed the phone after talking to her brother because she didn't want to give her condition away and she didn't want him to find her. I wish we knew more about what she said to her brother, I wish he would share the specifics of his conversation with her (though I completely understand why he hasn't). In the LHJ article, his wife says that Warren thought she didn't sound right, and they thought she was having a stroke. So, that means she was saying something to him, probably slurring words, which is why he thought she was having a stroke.

Bottom line, she was leading a double life, she had on a mask for years that everyone thought was the real deal, but it wasn't. I believe that because I have been there, done that. I think more people than anyone realizes do that.
 
zippitydoda said:
Good point too-

If she was desperate to get home to her painpills, why did a one hour drive, a route that she had driven for years, on that day, take her over four hours - which, at the four hour point, she was no where near where she should have been?

Why, when she pulled over to throw up - does she not say to anyone at the rest stop, I'm sick, I have a car full of kids, and I can longer drive?

If she medicated herself with a alcohol to numb her pain, she was still functioning well enough at this point to deliberately exit the highway, and pull into a rest stop to throw up. That is thought and understanding to me. Someone could suggest she did not say anything to anyone at the rest stop or her family because she was drunk and did not want to get caught, which, if that is true, would be another example of her comprehending the situation and not being in a stupor.

Imagine if she just told her niece to call her folks, have them come to the rest stop and get them, and just walked away from the van and disappeared for a few hours. If that had happened, these children, along with DS's three other innocent victims would have been saved. I think its more than likely that DS got back in that van for some reason, perhaps only known to her, and did the unthinkable.
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Well put and certainly what she should have done. But asking for help doesn't seem to have been Diane Schuler's m.o.
 
This story brings me to my knees every time I hear it. I did watch the documentary and was left with more questions than answers. I find myself desperate to find an answer I can live with, I cannot imagine how her dh and relatives must feel if i feel what i do.

Anyway you slice it this is a tragedy of unimaginable proportions.
 
Nova said:
Well put and certainly what she should have done. But asking for help doesn't seem to have been Diane Schuler's m.o.
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Well, AMEN to that; I totally agree! I watched the HBO doc this week, which enlightened a lot of this tragedy for me, albeit mainly in a resigned and sad manner... ITA that Diane Schuler led an incredibly frantic life, and that she sought to hide many secrets. Her childhood circumstances, coupled (probably) with her natural disposition/personality led, imo, to her adult persona being that of a TOTAL control freak... let me emphasize> TOTAL. And I am not stating/opining this in a mean or judgmental manner, in fact I have a sister who is very much like Diane. My sister is not a substance abuser, but she is an absolute and extremely private overachieving perfectionist, one who would rather DIE than admit weakness, need, or failure on any level. Also, much like DS, she is the first to send the appropriate greeting card and/or gift to all whom she loved, and her affection for those people was sincere; in other words, her "outside" was often overly guarded, confrontational, even prickly-- but her "inside" revealed a genuinely good person. The docu was so sad and also absurd on many levels. For Danny to question the ME's toxicology results, only to have them retested- reaffirmed by a leading forensic ME as unimpeachable [correct]... and for him and Jay to STILL refuse to accept those results... this still blows my mind!! NOTHING can overtake or minimize the FACT that DS was drunk and high the time of the accident. I DO agree w/many here that we will never know exactly what happened, or why she chose to drive this way, and yes there is room, imo, to believe that this was totally out of character for her, that the "perfect storm" of partying the night before, self-medicating the day of, the drive and absolute determination to refuse help, the need to be seen as 100% in control and perfect... all of these elements combined culminated in epic disaster. It's really a no-brainer. Yet there is Danny S. refusing to accept the scientific (not theories but) FACTS of his wife's intoxication, thereby prolonging the suffering of all parties, including himself. Watching him in this docu was extremely unsettling, as he is IMMERSED, imo, in RAGE, absolute RAGE. This man is beyond belief. Whining how he never even wanted kids, not stopping- or caring- to consider how this comment will affect his son in future years. What a selfish and cruel comment!
Also whining about having to do household chores, making it seem like the care of his ONE remaining child is a burden, a negative obligation that he resents, while most anyone else in his situation would be overjoyed to take care of this precious child. His own family- Aunt Jay- basically admits that she does most of the childrearing, which I totally believe. Poor KINDERGARTEN-AGE (!!!) Bryan has only one parent left, and that parent is a selfish, clueless, unstable, resentful, distant and cold-hearted !! I can only pray that someone else eventually gets to take custody of this child before he is irrevocably damaged by his father's irrational narcissism. I think one reason DS's driving in those last few minutes, the seemingly puzzling window of time in which witnesses describe her driving as focused, non-swerving, determined, oblivious re. others, etc. occurred because, even in her intoxicated state, the controlling and perfectionistic side of her still prevailed. She COULD NOT FAIL to make her destination. Thus she earlier leaves her cell phone at the roadside (on purpose) so no one could track and possibly find fault with her. I believe she totally loved her kids and nieces and would never plan to do them harm, but negative actions/decisions on her part destroyed her reasoning that day, which temporarily turned her into a different person, a dangerous person. I believe that she had become over time completely overwhelmed with her responsibilities, her essential loneliness and her refusal to "deal" with her past. The mask was slipping off... way too fast. And she had no "port in a storm," because she had created this persona of Superwoman; no one knew the real Diane, who was human and flawed, like everyone else on this planet! No, she had projected this image of infallibility and independence to such an extent- over decades- and she had no emotional tools, no self-examination skills, with which to present/acknowledge her true and human self. Weakness or need simply could not be tolerated. So she drove with intensity, needing to "make it home" so she couldn't be called out on ANY shortcomings. At this point, I believe any and all common sense had totally disintegrated; she was battling inner demons and she ultimately lost. She had such tunnel vision at the end that she could not see what she was doing in any sort of realistic terms. So she "broke," and I in NO WAY intend this statement as an excuse of any sort. But- she broke. In a tragic, in a HUGE way. A very, very bad way. Instead of acknowledging his wife's flaws and asking for forgiveness, her stupid husband put on blinders and blamed everyone BUT DS, and especially HIMSELF. How typical of him, I believe it was, to "dump" all FIVE kids on her and then just leisurely take his dog. How convenient and non-demanding of him. And oh NO, to follow her, what an inconvenience *puke.* He dumped ALL the real family responsibilities on her, to agonizing results... and then to state that he never even wanted children!!! This man needs SERIOUS psychological help to face his denial and his rage, and he will most probably never seek nor get it. He disgusts me. Let it go, Mr. Schuler! You cannot undo the damage done! ENJOY, SUPPORT, NURTURE, and LOVELOVELOVE Bryan before it's too late!! Well, I can dream, can't I?? : (
 
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