MA MA - Caleigh Harrison, 2, Rockport, 19 April 2012

[necco]

Respectfully snipped

Yes... but I wouldn't be leaving two children that young at all to retrieve a ball, especially not that close to the water. Heck, I wouldn't be on the beach with 2 of them in less than 80 degree weather to start with, but I'm not her. Young moms make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes have a tragic ending. Like the little boy down south of me a few weeks ago who went missing and ended up drowning in a pond, because Mom fell asleep and wasn't watching him. She got plenty of blame, IIRC.

I mean this in the absolute most respectful way, TXLady, judging by your name, I assume you're in Texas. In New England, it's not uncommon to go to the beach on a cool day if it's sunny. I can remember playing on the beach in jeans and a windbreaker as a child. Our definition of "beach day" is cooler than those in the south, especially in the spring and fall.

On another note, if she did get hit by a wave, the water this time of year would be so cold it may have literally sucked the air right out of her, leaving her unable to scream, so the roar of the ocean would have been moot.

JMO

 

[MomofBoys]

I respect your opinion. Yes, it would be better to think that, but I'm not sure *I* wouldn't be beating myself up assuming the worst.

On another note, I wonder if mom's been sedated and that may be affecting her. I know I'd be in a full scale permanent panic attack if I were her.

I totally get what you're saying and knowing my OCD, I'm sure I'd be beating myself up in the worst possible way. Where my hinky meter goes up is when the response seems fatalistic and almost accepting so soon. The first few days after a death that comes as a shock are usually spent in a daze of shock and denial. It's hard to believe that person isn't just going to come through the door. Maybe their a few doors away visiting a neighbor, all that. I know how I'd punish myself mentally, but I also know that there's no way I'd be putting my child in the proverbial ground before I was faced with their death. Not the prospect of death, but some kind of proof. Anything to let me believe that I might see them again and anything to believe that it was not a result of my actions or inaction. Her FB post really bothers me, but I will acknowledge the sedation possibility. It just seems soon, but everyone is different, I know.

I have a four year-old boy, and boys are usually a little socially behind girls. He would absolutely be able to say if there was someone else in the vicinity, and looking at the layout of the area I think the mom would be able to see someone walking or running away for some distance. So, like most people I think she's either in the ocean or she was never there that day. Surely the four year-old would be able to tell police that, unless she's compromised in some way, either by disability or fear.

 

[KrazyKatLadi]

I think it's kind of unfair to be picking apart the mother until we know more.

You just can't keep your eyes on a kid every second. Ive got 3 under 10 and I know I don't. Maybe she thought the little girl was following behind her? There's been so little information released, I really have no idea what happened. JMO

 

[terracotta]

I went over to the beach this morning. There is a parking lot then you walk over rocks to the bridge. Once you cross the bridge there is the corner of the retaining wall. On the right of the wall is about 2 feet wide of beach and on the left side it has rocks then beach. The estuary that the bridge goes over is wide and with tide going out would be very strong. The banks of the waterway are crumbling...so if anyone stands close to the waterway it will collapse.

There are family members there today, one or two state police and some others searching around. It is such a windy day and chilly so the water is really rough. The family member told me that the two girls were right by the bottom of the bridge. The mom walked to the stairway which is about 100ft from that spot...she climbed the stairs and then came back walking the walkway up there back towards the girls. She was talking to them the whole time and had her eye on them. She then told them to stay right there and went into the yard of the first house to get the ball, she got it, then came back to the walkway and Caleigh was not there. Honestly the girls were a few feet away from that waterway, all the little girl had to do was take a few steps and the sand could breakaway and she would be in the water. The water meets the ocean in 50 feet from there....so in seconds she could have been pulled out around that island. The family member said it is odd because the girl was wearing light clothes and that the mom would have seen her in the water...but really it would have been so quick.

They are also considering that someone could have been watching and took her when the mom wasn't looking. There does seem to be an opportunity for that to happen if that person was at the right side of the corner and just took her real quickly and walked away from the bridge...the street is right there where you can park. There is also a parking lot across the bridge. You would have to walk on unsteady rocks so it takes a bit to get there....but it is possible I guess.

The family members are very distraught as we would all expect, it is really breaks your heart....so very sad.

 

[MomofBoys]

I think it's kind of unfair to be picking apart the mother until we know more.

You just can't keep your eyes on a kid every second. Ive got 3 under 10 and I know I don't. Maybe she thought the little girl was following behind her? There's been so little information released, I really have no idea what happened. JMO

No disrespect intended, but there is a big difference between looking away for a moment and leaving two young children unattended on a bridge for minutes.

 

[MomofBoys]

I think this case will come down to the little things. Where is the ball now? Was it at the scene when the officers arrived? Did no one see the three of them along the road, in the parking lot, on the rocks before Caleigh disappeared? Four year-olds are inherently pretty honest. As bright as my four year-old is, I don't think he could lie and then maintain a story without an obvious inconsistency. Surely, surely a four year-old can at least confirm the sister was there at all. What was the last color she was seen in, all that.

I know drownings are more silent than people are led to believe in TV and in films. But Terracotta's post makes it sound like she was only really out of sight for seconds. I know that's all it takes. What a hideous coincidence, though. Maybe the kids were roughhousing? I know I have boys, but they're constantly manhandling each other. It'd be purely an accident, of course, but it could explain why a four year-old might be afraid to say something. Again, NOT hypothesizing blame on a pre-schooler. Just trying to look at every angle.

 

[txanmom]

Her little girl is not with her and she doesn't know what happened to her, why would grieving be wrong? Grief is not reserved just for the dead, IMO. Maybe she knows that the chances of finding her child alive at this point are pretty slim, so the grieving is getting a head start. I don't think people can control that kind of thing, nor should we put a label on it. Whatever emotions she is going through are not our business to decide right or wrong.
JMO

A few years ago my family and i went to disneyworld for Christmas. On Christmas Eve we were in the entrance area where a huge parade was going on it was incredibly crowded. I was pushing a rented stroller with my 8 yo dd in it (because of how crowded it was we decided that would be the best way to keep tabs on her), my dh was behind me and my 12 yo ds was behind him walking forward. I kept turning around to check on ds and dh and in the blink of an eye "poof" ds was gone. We could not find him. I immediately reported it to the park police and they escorted me to the park office while they sent out bulletins to find him. I completely lost it. I was a wreck! I cried and hyperventilated and I scared my dd and she cried then I started vomiting. My mind went to the worst scenario and this was a 12 yo boy who could ask for help, etc...It took 2 hours to find him in that madhouse, but make no mistake, you just don't know how you will react. I was utterly useless to anyone and so very upset. If it would not have turned out the way it did I would have had to have been heavily medicated to get through any day. Plus, I am sure she is beating herself up for her actions (getting the ball). I was furious with myself for bringing the family to Disneyworld for Christmas!! It was a gift to our family to go, but I kept thinking it was all my fault just for getting the family there. So, my point is I agree with your quote and we just cannot know what these poor people are really thinking.

 

[justanother]

Also one of the articles said that Caleigh's aunt has a house there, so she would be used to the area, and maybe mom is more relaxed around it because they spend a lot of time there. Therefore not being so panicked about the water, and not having a clear respect for what it can do. I don't know...just some thoughts....

This is what i was thinking last night after seeing some photos on FB of Cayleigh right at the waters edge (how incredibly sad for mom to look at those now) It seems they loved the beach, lots of beach pictures, mom mentions it in her FB profile etc. I can see how she might not think much about turning for a second to grab a ball, maybe she is so used to being at the beach that she didn't consider for a second how tragic running for a ball might end up.

I still can't comprehend it. Like others have said, we all do things other parents would likely judge us for. I just can't wrap my head around it, i won't look away from my son when i'm grocery shopping, never mind on the beach. If that baby did get taken by the Ocean, i can only imagine how guilty her mom is feeling right now.

 

[Lovejac]

I've been thinking about this sweetie today. I can't imagine not knowing.

 

[AZ1991]

This is what i was thinking last night after seeing some photos on FB of Cayleigh right at the waters edge (how incredibly sad for mom to look at those now) It seems they loved the beach, lots of beach pictures, mom mentions it in her FB profile etc. I can see how she might not think much about turning for a second to grab a ball, maybe she is so used to being at the beach that she didn't consider for a second how tragic running for a ball might end up.

I still can't comprehend it. Like others have said, we all do things other parents would likely judge us for. I just can't wrap my head around it, i won't look away from my son when i'm grocery shopping, never mind on the beach. If that baby did get taken by the Ocean, i can only imagine how guilty her mom is feeling right now.

Yeah I've seen a lot of the "what mother would do that!" comments. I would just like to say that letting your kids play on the beach 91% supervised is not the worst I've seen.

Hell I can't even go one day without seeing a woman dash across 8 lanes of traffic with a baby in the stoller (twice I've seen total baby wipe outs from this!) Would I ever do that?! HELLZ NO! Does that mean these women are not "normal" mothers. I wouldn't say that.



ETA: I'm talking two four lane roads with a CROSSWALK JUST fractions of a mile away from any given location!

 

[MomofBoys]

I can see how she might not think much about turning for a second to grab a ball, maybe she is so used to being at the beach that she didn't consider for a second how tragic running for a ball might end up.

I'd normally agree, but I keep going back to the satellite view and Terracotta's post about what she learned from family members. I guess I need clarification. If they were at the water's edge near the bridge, and she climbed the stairs to get up onto the wall, then this was not a "My back was turned for five seconds!" situation. She was out of reach of those children for quite some time. She may have had her eye on them most of that time, but from the pictures it looks like she was a couple hundred yards away. Or am I looking at the wrong stairs? If not, there's no way she could have helped those kids even if her eyes never left them. I'm sure I make stupid decisions from time to time, but living around water makes you MORE respectful of it, not less. Try living in Florida and not being inundated with drowning stories, water accidents, missing boaters, and statistics about how drowning is the most common cause of death in kids under five. Stats don't paint a colorful picture, but when you live across the street from the water like we do, we take zero chances.

So, I don't know if I can grasp the "They are comfortable around the water so she was lackadaisical" theory. Listen to those waves. How?

 

[Shelby2]

"The family of missing Gloucester tot Caleigh Harrison attempted to re-create the oceanside scene of her disappearance yesterday, saying they believe their walkthrough at Rockport’s Long Beach gives credence to their desperate hope she was abducted and not swept out to sea."

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1061126923

In reading this article, I am even more confused as to why the family would insist that the FB page set up to find her be taken down?

 

[October]

From the above article:

Harrison said Caleigh’s sister, who has been interviewed several times by police, has told family members nothing about the disappearance.

“She’s still in shock from the whole thing or just doesn’t want to talk about it,” Harrison said. “Every time you ask her about it, she changes the subject.”

Okay, I have a 4 year old and I find this beyond bizarre. She won't even answer questions? I have a 2 year old as well. If my 4 year old witnessed her sister being swept into the ocean or abducted, she would be hysterical about it. Everyone would know, especially in the moments directly after. Maybe it's guilt because she didn't see anything? I don't know, but the fact the sister changes the subject really disturbs me.

Wait, I just thought of one circumstance where my 4 year old avoids the subject. When she's afraid that her answer is going to get her in trouble. Perhaps the sister did something that forced Caleigh into the water? That actually makes the most sense to me, if the sister pushed or knocked Caleigh in and is now terrified to talk about it. I would never blame the 4 year old for that, she has no concept of the consequences of that action. Her silence does make me wonder, though.

 

[MomofBoys]

Interesting. And it really flies in the face of the fatalistic Facebook post. They also don't really mention the mother as being involved in the walkthroughs. Wouldn't they really need her? It makes me wonder if the mother is so beset with guilt or grief that she can only see the drowning theory. Maybe the uncertainty is worse than believing she's gone? I can't say I think I'd feel that way, but the lack of cooperation with the FB page, the dire post on her wall, not participating in the walkthrough--it does make one wonder if she believes she's dead and why she has that belief. I find it hard to believe a kidnapper would be that lucky, opportunistic, and brazen, but it's better than thinking she's a mile out in the Atlantic.

 

[cluciano63]

I agree, it could be the 4-yr old pushed the little girl into the water, having no idea what would happen next...in fact that makes more sense than anything else, if it is true she won't talk about it and changes the subject...

My husband's niece does this like a pro (changes the subject) when she has done something doubtful...

I do think LE believes that she could have been swept away, as sending divers into the ocean is so dangerous...

 

[MomofBoys]

Wait, I just thought of one circumstance where my 4 year old avoids the subject. When she's afraid that her answer is going to get her in trouble. Perhaps the sister did something that forced Caleigh into the water? That actually makes the most sense to me, if the sister pushed or knocked Caleigh in and is now terrified to talk about it. I would never blame the 4 year old for that, she has no concept of the consequences of that action. Her silence does make me wonder, though.
{/quote]

Yeah, I posted that earlier, too. That maybe she clammed up because she's afraid of getting in trouble. Either because of roughhousing or because she doesn't want to betray mommy.

 

[Shelby2]

I think if the 4 year old did that she'd probably be wet too? Maybe she was and we don't know-but the other article said mom had her eyes on the kids and she didn't see that?
I think there is a lot we don't know, maybe LE wants it that way for whatever reason.

 

[impatientredhead]

Such a heartbreaking story and I don't know what to say I hope for because I don't see a happy ending no matter how you explain it.

Each issue can be explained but when looked at together it sure feels like something doesn't add up to the story presented:

The four year old not remembering her sister being sucked out by the riptide, falling off the bridge or being abducted.... all seem like memorable moments in your average day.

Even the moment mom flips out realizing she is gone seems like that would be noticed.

Then the local police number instead of emergency seems odd but explainable, but the call that is mentioned as being "frantic" is made by the dad trying to solicit local help.

The only emotion described in attribute to mom so far is anger. A thousand plausible reasons of course, but I am looking at the bigger picture.

The logistics of two toddlers, a dog, with the temperatures, the wind etc... with one parent, a game of fetch with mom getting the ball instead of the dog seems less than enjoyable

She turned her back to get the ball, she went over a fence to get the ball, she went fifty yards and over a hurdle to get the ball? Quite the arm on the thrower of the ball, hard to find at fifty yards and a couple of obstacles, especially if you have two toddlers to watch.

There is no way I understand an abduction in that environment in that short of time. They appeared out of nowhere and disappeared just as quickly. Logistically that doesn't make sense on an uncrowded beach.

The facebook issues, lack of photos, and hostility to peoples comments, I will rack that up to unfortunate timing and displaced anger. I think the other issues are more than enough to be concerned about with interpreting these items too much (but of course I am).

What a horrible time for those that love this little girl. Lives changed forever no matter how they got her.

 

[impatientredhead]

From the above article:

Harrison said Caleigh’s sister, who has been interviewed several times by police, has told family members nothing about the disappearance.

“She’s still in shock from the whole thing or just doesn’t want to talk about it,” Harrison said. “Every time you ask her about it, she changes the subject.”

Okay, I have a 4 year old and I find this beyond bizarre. She won't even answer questions? I have a 2 year old as well. If my 4 year old witnessed her sister being swept into the ocean or abducted, she would be hysterical about it. Everyone would know, especially in the moments directly after. Maybe it's guilt because she didn't see anything? I don't know, but the fact the sister changes the subject really disturbs me.

Wait, I just thought of one circumstance where my 4 year old avoids the subject. When she's afraid that her answer is going to get her in trouble. Perhaps the sister did something that forced Caleigh into the water? That actually makes the most sense to me, if the sister pushed or knocked Caleigh in and is now terrified to talk about it. I would never blame the 4 year old for that, she has no concept of the consequences of that action. Her silence does make me wonder, though.

I don't have any kids, so my question is honest and not snarky, but would your four year old hold up with avoiding the subject to get out of trouble for several days? by trained LE, friends, family, her father? After several days they wouldn't shift to missing their sibling, or mentioning she is in the water because it is so different than their previous reality? That strikes me as a deep understanding and a great amount of impulse control and self editing, to a level many adults don't have. But my time around four years old is limited and not recent!

 

[MsFacetious]

We have seen plenty of angry mothers.... Somer's mother was very angry from day ONE.
However, she was also VERY vocal, begging for help, doing everything she could to raise awareness and find her daughter.

I can understand an angry mother... but generally they are angry because someone has TAKEN their child. They want to FIND their child.

I can understand a devastated mother... but generally they are not lashing out at people who are only trying to help.

It would be nice to hear directly from the mother, what she thinks happened and how she feels. Even if it's just a statement.
Right now, it just doesn't make much sense.