Darnay Hoffman Committed Suicide

Tricia

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Quote:
NY Post, Cindy Adams' column, 5-11-2011
...Lawyer Darnay Hoffman, Mayflower Madam Sydney Biddle Barrows' husband until a quiet divorce some years back. I knew both. They just grew apart. His career wasn't hot. Money was tight. Health not good. Still friends, he'd stay at times in her west side apartment, where he just killed himself.
*snip*.

This is tragic news.

http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/cind...gRwmUq9navAhRM
__________________
 
WOW! I will never understand why a person makes the choice to end their life.
 
WOW! I will never understand why a person makes the choice to end their life.

Me neither. My first husband killed himself and even 15 years later I still can't understand why. If you ask me suicide is the cowardly way out of this world. The people who suffer are the ones that are left behind.
 
How very sad. But I am astonished that someone could kill themselves that way. I mean, as you applied enough force to actually push a knife into your own heart, the pain would be so horrific you wouldn't be able to do it.
This sounds suspicious to me.
 
How very sad. But I am astonished that someone could kill themselves that way. I mean, as you applied enough force to actually push a knife into your own heart, the pain would be so horrific you wouldn't be able to do it.
This sounds suspicious to me.


Very suspicious indeed... Who chooses that method of suicide? That was the first thought I had.
 
it;s horrible but possible,I heard of a guy who was in the military who killed himself like this.
 
years ago I worked with a guy whose Mother killed herself this way! HORRIBLE...There are much easier, less painful ways..why do this????
 
How very sad. But I am astonished that someone could kill themselves that way. I mean, as you applied enough force to actually push a knife into your own heart, the pain would be so horrific you wouldn't be able to do it.
This sounds suspicious to me.

The singer Elliot Smith killed himself this way. Not advocating suicide per se, but I don't believe someone should carry on living in misery just to keep their family happy. Seek help if you are depressed, but let's not pretend everyone can live a happy life.
 
This is so tragic. Darnay did have a huge heart. Anything he did for the JBR case was money out of his pocket. As you can see he had money troubles for years and years. He really did do his best to help JonBenet.

I'll be writing a condolence note to Sidney Burrows and I'll sign it from Websleuths and Forums for Justice.org

So so sad.
 
How very sad. But I am astonished that someone could kill themselves that way. I mean, as you applied enough force to actually push a knife into your own heart, the pain would be so horrific you wouldn't be able to do it.
This sounds suspicious to me.

I actually spoke to Cyril Wecht about this once on the phone about this topic.

Here are some of the ways he listed people committed suicide, cases he actually worked on;

-Ballpoint pen through the eye

-Cutting off a breast (female) then stabbing through the chest

-knife in the skull

That's all I can remember but there were many more.

Darnay must have been in so much pain that he felt this was his only choice and the only way he could go.

It is heartbreaking to know he was in that much pain.
 
Here's a tribute written by one of Darnay Hoffman's friends:

http://www.timessquaregossip.com/2011/05/famed-lawyer-darnay-hoffmans-suicide.html

This is a very hard story for me to write today. I have been in tears throughout the weekend. My friend and lawyer Darnay Hoffman committed suicide last week at the home of his ex-wife, the elegant Mayflower Madame, Sydney Biddle Barrows.

No one knew they divorced a few years back. It was kept quiet, because we knew there would be a media frenzy. I even kept quiet. I don't think it was anything that anyone did, I think they just grew apart. They still remained good friends and I know they cared for each other very much. Darnay loved two women in his life. Sydney Biddle Barrows and his sister Toni. He adored them.

I think things got bad a few years back for Darnay. He had tried to commit suicide back then. He did it at the apartment he shared with Sydney on 70th street. I think the pressure of always helping everyone finally got to him. He always had to be the knight in shinning armor. He always had to save his family and friends. If you had Darnay as a friend, you were protected.

Darnay was never in the lawyer business to make money. Most clients he never charged, because most of his clients had no money, but they needed help and that was what was important to Darnay. He even spent his own money to help them. Darnay helped people who had nothing and asked for nothing.

Darnay Hoffman also had many high profile clients. The subway gunman Bernie Goetz, convicted child killer Joel Steinberg. He was involved in the JonBenet Ramsey case. But his most important clients were people who had no where else to turn. Over the years he took on cases for me against several landlords and he always won. He took on a magazine for me in Australia that refused to pay. He got the money. Recently he won two cases against a New York Newspaper that were suing my friends. I got the plaintiffs Darnay and he defended them and won. Anyone I ever sent to Darnay, got the best. If you had money, you got the best. If you had nothing, you got the best. Every case was important to Darnay and he was a master of the law.

I can only tell you some of the information I received from sources. I know much more, but I'm not saying more. I have lost a great friend and Darnay could never be replaced. I don't know what made him commit suicide. He was loved by so many people. He protected us and was what a true friend should be. I do not think there will be a funeral. I hear he's sitting in the morgue. I'm being told there's no money to bury him. Horrible end for a wonderful human being. May he rest in peace.....

by James Edstrom at Times Square Gossip
 
It is so hard to understand what drives a person to that end. THEY know why, but even when they have left a note other explanation, it seems so sad that there wasn't a way out of the dark for them on THIS side of the veil. When they reach the OTHER side, it is overwhelming for them because then they understand the impact of their actions. But there is healing there, and when they are ready, they come back- only to repeat (and hopefully conquer this time) whatever situation drove them to "check out early".
 
I actually spoke to Cyril Wecht about this once on the phone about this topic.

Here are some of the ways he listed people committed suicide, cases he actually worked on;

-Ballpoint pen through the eye

-Cutting off a breast (female) then stabbing through the chest

-knife in the skull

That's all I can remember but there were many more.

Darnay must have been in so much pain that he felt this was his only choice and the only way he could go.

It is heartbreaking to know he was in that much pain.

My first husband actually hung himself in our bedroom closet from the pole that you hang the close hangers on. The sad thing was he could have stood up to save himself. The EMS person told me that he must have really wanted to die because he could have just stood up since he was 6'2. He left no note so I really never did find out WHY he did it. I guess when a person is in that much pain they just do anything to make the pain stop.
 
Jennifer, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I have had loved ones to kill themselves and I know the pain is indescribable. Love and prayers for you, Becky.
 
Unlike many who simply spoke of obtaining justice for JonBenet, Darnay actually tried.
R.I.P.
 
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil.

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, Hamlet
 
What a tragedy. RIP Darnay.

Regarding the brutal method of suicide, sometimes the emotional/mental pain is so unbearable that the physical pain may pale in comparison.
 

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