Boy with ADHD and Aspergers age 10, dies after hanging tragedy.

butwhatif?

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A PRIMARY school boy found hanging from a bridge last night suffered from a developmental disorder and a fascination with putting things around his neck.

The following quotes are from the boys mother....
She said the two boys, who were best mates and both in Year 5 together, stopped on their afternoon walk at the nearby bridge, and played there for a while.
She said her boy's death was not suicide, but a tragic accident by a boy who knew no better.

"He was so impulsive and he never gave any thought to consequences," Mrs McGrady said.

But some stage during their innocent playing, Mrs McGrady said Brandon let the dog off it's lead, and put it around his own neck.


"Just before he went for the walk, he was chatting about what he wanted to do when he grew up," she said.
"He was happy, he was a ray of sunshine to everyone around him."

"The ambulance officers and everyone there did as much as they could...that little boy just didn't want to play anymore," Mrs McGrady said.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/ne...-in-campbelltown/story-e6freuy9-1226141701812

B&UBM

Police have said there were no suspicious circumstances.

When I first read the article I didn't pick up on the sentence I've bolded and underlined.

Is it just me, or is that a very odd thing to say about your child who has just accidently hung himself, and who she said was always bubbly and happy?

I know his family must be in pain right now, and I hate to pre-judge, but I have to wonder why this mum who knew he had a tendancy to wrap things around his neck, let him out to play unsupervised when he had a dog leash with him.

In the article she also says he had previously used a ferrets harness and dressing gown cords to wrap around his neck, not understanding that these things coud be fatal.

The other boy who was with him at the time must be so traumatised.
 
I understand why butwhatif? has questions. But hindsight is 20/20, as they say.

Every parent has to strike a balance between keeping a child perfectly safe and impeding his or her happiness and development. That must be specially true for the parents of the developmentally challenged.

Unless you kept him locked up, how could you possibly ensure that a 10-year-old would never get his hands on something that could choke him? In this tragedy, it wasn't just the leach that was lethal, it was the leash plus the bridge. (ETA or so it seems. The details are a little vague. Even after he got the leach around his neck, how did he end up hanging from a bridge?)
 
So sad. Such a cute kid :(

RIP :rose:
 
Okay....my pre-judging is over. That one statement "that little boy just didn't want to play anymore," by his mum just seemed really weird to me, but she was probably still in shock when she said it.

I lived in that same area when I was very young, and we got out of there because it's such a bad place. Huge unemployment rate, mostly housing commision, lot's of violence, not just by adults but young kids too, high drug use and very toxic family relationships.

I am really upset with myself now for assuming that everyone there doesn't give a damn about their kids. This mum clearly did.


This really is a terrible tragedy. And you're absolutely right Nova.

~snip~
"But I couldn't wrap him in cotton wool and not let him be a kid ... I guess now that freedom cost him his life."

Details about the bridge:

"He took the lead off Bella, and I guess we will never really know why, but he put it around his neck and tied the other end to the bridge," Mrs McGrady said.

"He was probably just fooling around, showing off, and he didn't think.

The saddest part of this tragedy.....

Just last week, the mother-of-four was in full swing establishing a support network for families in the Campbelltown area who have children with the conditions, because she said there was nothing else available to them. Now, she is more determined than ever to make it Brandon's legacy.

~snip~
Brandon's best friend, also aged 10, tried in vain to free his dying mate.

"He found a piece of broken glass and tried to cut the dog lead ... but he's only a little kid, he couldn't do it," Mrs McGrady said.

The article states that there is a lack of support services available in the south-west, but the truth is, it's lacking everywhere.

Doctors will dx and rx, but that's about it. I live in a bigger city of Sydney, and even here there is only one place where you can get real support (that is still VERY costly)- but only until the child is 7 years old!! After that, they're on their own.
And I doubt that someone living in that area could pay for all of the much needed therapy that would have helped him more than medication.

Respite care is virtually non existent.

I have two kids with learning difficulties and our doctor tells us we need more practical help- but there is none.... Now I want to contact this mum, give her a hug and support her cause.

More @ link:

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/ne...-brandon-mcgrady/story-e6freuzi-1226142170186
 
For what it's worth, butwhatif?, I didn't think you were doing anything but asking the sort of questions we ask here. I'm outraged that your children don't have the professional support they need.

And thanks for the link. It sounds like the child was playing at tethering himself with the leash (don't know why I'm having trouble spelling that word) as one would tie up a dog. How he fell off the bridge, we may never know.
 
Butwhatif-thank you for posting this! All of the comments here I find thought provoking! Thats why I love WS! Adults thinking! Adults discussing! What a boring world it would be if we all thought alike and closed our minds. I have a good freind here who has Aspbergers- he is a very talented young man and is behind the music scene here. I have worked alongside him in the most stressful times in a resturant w new peeps being trained ( we beleive in trial by fire to see who can handle it ) and he had the most calming effect on all the staff. He ended up getting a job at the school here for a year to help the teachers learn how to help the kids w autism and Aspbergers. This poor little boy probably did not recognize danger, of any sort, just as my freind doesnt see anything wrong w picking up and moving to Wisconsin for 4 months of winter. We cannot do anything but love him and be thankful that we have him in our lives while we do. Bless this young boys mother for loving him enough to let him live life. I guess its 50-50 w this diagnosis, my freind has said before it is a form of autism.
 
With a disability like autism, the mother here is right. You can't wrap them in cotton. You can't go out and childproof the world, so you have to do the best you can to worldproof the child. In this case, that would have been much easier said than done. There will be those that say this was an avoidable tragedy, but it was only avoidable in trade for the normal parts of his life.

He sounds a lot like my son, completely fearless, and a little hazy on the concepts of cause and effect. Not a good combo, but not one that you can lock a kid in a bubble to protect him from either.
 

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