I just read your moving, sensitive blog. I have no words to express how sorry I am and how tragic this is. :cry: :cry: All I c an say is how lucky your sweet baby is to have you as his protector and mother bear.
I can relate a little bit to your description of deep depression and asking 'why.' I had four miscarriages many years ago. And that was after surgeries to clear my tubes. And I could not understand WHY I could not carry a child to term. Here I have a wonderful husband, who would be a great father, and we had a nice home and good jobs and a large extended supportive family, waiting for grand babies/nieces/nephews. WHY did my unborn babies keep dying? It took a few painful years to find out the answer, in my mind.
Because 7 yrs later we had th wonderful opportunity, two times, to adopt wonderful, loving newborn babes. And now I realize that these babies were supposed to be mine. I was destined to be their mom.So all of those painful experiences had a purpose, that was impossible for me to see. And now our kids are grown, and are mazing wonderful young adults. And so I can look back at the pain and loss, 30 yrs ago, and see what it was all about, in the big picture. I hope that sometime, in years to come, there will be peace and heartfelt understanding for you and your family, as to the deeper meaning for this bittersweet period. It may be that you become one of the greatest activists for this awful disease and help spur a needed miracle. But I also see you having a family down the road. And this whole thing will make some sense. I will keep you in my prayers. :heartbeat:
