In the previous thread Alethea wrote, "Parents need to stop abusing and neglecting their children. Family and community members need to step in and try to intervene in abusive situations. When you really think about it, its ridiculous that we put the responsibility for policing our own families on a state agency. Theres a lot said and written about the fallout from our failing families and lack of community support system, but our children are bearing highest biggest costs.
Im not sure which is a bigger pipe dream: praying for people to protect their children and respect their families or waiting for government bureaucrats to step in and change our communities for us."
I couldn't agree more. Every time I think of this little innocent girl that experienced such nauseating horrors in her short life, and read and hear the responses of many folks who place the blame entirely on her mother or CPS and just rant and rave, I am doubly saddened knowing that many of those "blamers" will walk away from this case unchanged. Without realizing that they actually have a new responsibility going forward. That we as a society need to stop trying to find someone to blame and instead figure out what we can do to change society and then ACTUALLY FOLLOW THROUGH.
When you see something, say something. If you suspect abuse or mistreatment of a child, the elderly, or those incapacitated, it is indeed your moral obligation to report it to the appropriate authority. They need YOUR voice to protect them. They are defenseless and powerless against anyone mistreating, harming, or abusing them. You can be their power. You can be their defense.
But, it requires fortitude and courage to stand up for what is right. Especially when it is personal, someone you know. Or when it's a stranger. Or when you think you shouldn't interfere. Or when you think someone else will do it or it's someone else's responsibility. Or when you think you might be wrong. Or when you think you might offend or anger the offender. Or when you're just too busy. Or when it's too inconvenient- to make the call, figure out who to call.
I have been that little girl abused and mistreated with no one to protect or love me. I was abused my entire childhood by my parents and family members, and most of my adulthood by my husband and a grandfather and a boyfriend. I have experienced every form of abuse- physical, emotional, sexual, mental, spiritual. I didn't actually know what love was or felt like until I was 33 years old and I lived with and took care of my aging grandmother. She was the epitome of love.
I now as an adult have learned of at least 5 people from my childhood that thought they should report our family to CPS on multiple occasions on strong suspicions of abuse. For whatever reason, some I listed above, they never did. As you can imagine, my heart aches with this knowledge, and can from my hearts distance imagine myself as a little girl being released from the terrors of abuse.
I now so strongly advocate for victims of abuse- children, domestic, elderly, disabled. The helpless and the powerless. Those who need a voice. Those who need someone to be strong FOR them. They are in a place of such darkness and terror, one cannot fathom unless you've experienced the depths of it. They need OUR help. We cannot simply brush them off completely onto government agencies or hold those who are abusing them solely accountable. These victims are all around us. They are our neighbors, our friends, our grandparents, our nieces, our colleagues, our childs' classmate. We find them on the playground, in the supermarket, in playgroups, in nursing homes, and in the cubicle next to ours. We have a responsibility to care for one another.
Enduring a lifetime of abuse has given me an uncommon strength. And with it, a heart for advocacy and care for the voiceless victims. As an adult, I have already had to make the painful, but necessary, decision to report a family member for abuse he was inflicting, and I am again in a position where I will be reporting another family member. Not because I don't love these folks, but because I do. Because they need to be held accountable. And ultimately because the ones who are being abused are valued and precious beyond worth and no one should experience the horrors of abuse for a moment.
My question, as a victim/ survivor/ overcomer/ advocate is, are you willing to lay down your pride and stand up for the powerless and defenseless and do whatever is necessary and appropriate when you see someone being abused? How can you live differently to be more aware of the lives around you? Are you willing to sacrifice for someone who is in desperate need of an advocate? Please stop complaining about who didn't do what and who did what wrong and who you think should rot in h***. You've made your point. Until you actually do something with all of your ranting and raving and complaining, I can promise you, from past and present very personal experience, that you are actually part of the problem. Please help, change the world around you, get involved in advocacy groups, abuse shelters, etc, that's what the helpless little girl I used to be is asking you. Mariah would ask too, if she could.